You might be a socialists if...

[hoppy]

You might be a Socialist if: Your baby diapers were red and not white;

You might be a Socialist if: You swallowed whole the pages of Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals.

You might be a Socialist if: You hide behind the white flag of surrender instead of bravely showing the Stars and Stripes.

http://www.canadafreepress.com/index.php/article/21794

[Bryn Mawr]

hoppy;1322982 wrote: You might be a Socialist if: Your baby diapers were red and not white;

You might be a Socialist if: You swallowed whole the pages of Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals.

You might be a Socialist if: You hide behind the white flag of surrender instead of bravely showing the Stars and Stripes.

You might be a Socialist if: Your best friends include Chavez, Castro, Ortega and Zelaya.

You might be a Socialist if: You’re convinced Russia is on your side.

You might be a Socialist if: You swallow up GM and spit out Government Motors.

You might be a Socialist if: Your most frequent White House visitor is SEIU head Andy Stern.

You might be a Socialist if: You offer the peace of the grave rather than peace through strength to the Free World.

You might be a Socialist if: You travel the world putting America down but hole up in the White House when you come back home.

You might be a Socialist if: You try to force veggies grown in human feces (sludge) down the throats of helpless little “fat” kids.

You might be a Socialist if: You believe God speaks to you—and only to you—on your Blackberry.

You might be a Socialist if: Your growing up heroes were Karl Marx, Friedrich Engels, not George Washington and Thomas Jefferson.

You might be a Socialist if: You want to spend other people’s money faster than they do.

You might be a Socialist if: You blame everything on George W. Bush.

You might be a Socialist if: You steal Christmas Eve and Palm Sunday from the Christian masses.

You might be a Socialist if: You empower aging 60ish hippies as your shadow government.

You might be a Socialist if: You throw all your friends, and even your own Granny under the bus.


Sorry, don't recognise any of those - not a Socialist thought amongst them.

[Glaswegian]

hoppy;1322982 wrote: You might be a Socialist if: Your baby diapers were red and not white;

You might be a Socialist if: You swallowed whole the pages of Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals.

You might be a Socialist if: You hide behind the white flag of surrender instead of bravely showing the Stars and Stripes.

You might be a Socialist if: Your best friends include Chavez, Castro, Ortega and Zelaya.

You might be a Socialist if: You’re convinced Russia is on your side.

You might be a Socialist if: You swallow up GM and spit out Government Motors.

You might be a Socialist if: Your most frequent White House visitor is SEIU head Andy Stern.

You might be a Socialist if: You offer the peace of the grave rather than peace through strength to the Free World.

You might be a Socialist if: You travel the world putting America down but hole up in the White House when you come back home.

You might be a Socialist if: You try to force veggies grown in human feces (sludge) down the throats of helpless little “fat kids.

You might be a Socialist if: You believe God speaks to you—and only to you—on your Blackberry.

You might be a Socialist if: Your growing up heroes were Karl Marx, Friedrich Engels, not George Washington and Thomas Jefferson.

You might be a Socialist if: You want to spend other people’s money faster than they do.

You might be a Socialist if: You blame everything on George W. Bush.

You might be a Socialist if: You steal Christmas Eve and Palm Sunday from the Christian masses.

You might be a Socialist if: You empower aging 60ish hippies as your shadow government.

You might be a Socialist if: You throw all your friends, and even your own Granny under the bus.
Extracted from A Redneck’s Guide To Socialism by Big Bird.

~o0o~


What does Big Bird say about Liberals, hoppy?

[LarsMac]

I'm a Socialist.

And none of those are true for me.

[Nomad]

You might be a Socialist if: You try to force veggies grown in human feces (sludge) down the throats of helpless little “fat” kids.

I thought we had this one fixed. Ill look into it.

By the way...good one.

You might be a Socialist if: Your baby diapers were red and not white

[Huntley]

I thought it was quite funny, I see quite of few of those in a few of my close friends. To be fair I wonder if there is a "You might be a fascist" list anywhere.

[mikeinie]

You might be a Socialist if: Your baby diapers were red and not white;

You might be a right winger if: You don’t care if someone can afford diapers or not, if they can’t afford it they shouldn't be having babies.

You might be a Socialist if: You hide behind the white flag of surrender instead of bravely showing the Stars and Stripes.

You might be a right winger if: You blindly follow Stars and Stripes anywhere, without thinking for yourself or wondering where you are being lead.

You might be a Socialist if: Your best friends include Chavez, Castro, Ortega and Zelaya.

You might be a right winger if: Your best friends include: Richard Scrushy, Bernard Ebbers, Conrad Black,

You might be a Socialist if: You’re convinced Russia is on your side.

You might be a right winger if: You think everyone else is against you

You might be a Socialist if: You swallow up GM and spit out Government Motors.

You might be a right winger if: You think that it is OK to bail out all your friends who almost bankrupted the country.

You might be a Socialist if: You offer the peace of the grave rather than peace through strength to the Free World.

You might be a right winger if: Your idea of peace is invading oil rich countries because they are ‘evil’.

You might be a Socialist if: You travel the world putting America down but hole up in the White House when you come back home.

You might be a right winger if: You never travel the world, because you think that there is no world outside your own country

You might be a Socialist if: You try to force veggies grown in human feces (sludge) down the throats of helpless little “fat” kids.

You might be a right winger if: You don’t care about the health of the people, only the health of the bottom line of MacDonald’s.

You might be a Socialist if: You believe God speaks to you—and only to you—on your Blackberry.

You might be a right winger if: You believe God speaks to you—and only to you—on your Blackberry.

You might be a Socialist if: Your growing up heroes were Karl Marx, Friedrich Engels, not George Washington and Thomas Jefferson.

You might be a right winger if: You think Jefferson wanted freedom from the British Monarchy just to hand over the freedom to corporations.

You might be a Socialist if: You want to spend other people’s money faster than they do.

You might be a right winger if: You would rather see your country’s people homeless and broke, your infrastructure decay, and drug addiction and alcoholism increase rather than take any money from the filthy rich who invest nothing back into the society they are getting rich from.

You might be a Socialist if: You blame everything on George W. Bush.

You might be a right winger if: You really think that George Bush was a good president, when the entire world thinks he was a moron.

You might be a Socialist if: You steal Christmas Eve and Palm Sunday from the Christian masses.

You might be a right winger if: You believe you can buy shares in heaven by donating to the Christian TV evangelists.

You might be a Socialist if: You empower aging 60ish hippies as your shadow government.

You might be a right winger if: You empower 1950ish cold war hasbeens as your shadow government.

You might be a Socialist if: You throw all your friends, and even your own Granny under the bus.

You might be a right winger if: You then charge them bus fare.

[Richard Bell]

mikeinie;1323048 wrote: You might be a Socialist if: Your baby diapers were red and not white;

You might be a right winger if: You don’t care if someone can afford diapers or not, if they can’t afford it they shouldn't be having babies.

You might be a Socialist if: You hide behind the white flag of surrender instead of bravely showing the Stars and Stripes.

You might be a right winger if: You blindly follow Stars and Stripes anywhere, without thinking for yourself or wondering where you are being lead.

You might be a Socialist if: Your best friends include Chavez, Castro, Ortega and Zelaya.

You might be a right winger if: Your best friends include: Richard Scrushy, Bernard Ebbers, Conrad Black,

You might be a Socialist if: You’re convinced Russia is on your side.

You might be a right winger if: You think everyone else is against you

You might be a Socialist if: You swallow up GM and spit out Government Motors.

You might be a right winger if: You think that it is OK to bail out all your friends who almost bankrupted the country.

You might be a Socialist if: You offer the peace of the grave rather than peace through strength to the Free World.

You might be a right winger if: Your idea of peace is invading oil rich countries because they are ‘evil’.

You might be a Socialist if: You travel the world putting America down but hole up in the White House when you come back home.

You might be a right winger if: You never travel the world, because you think that there is no world outside your own country

You might be a Socialist if: You try to force veggies grown in human feces (sludge) down the throats of helpless little “fat” kids.

You might be a right winger if: You don’t care about the health of the people, only the health of the bottom line of MacDonald’s.

You might be a Socialist if: You believe God speaks to you—and only to you—on your Blackberry.

You might be a right winger if: You believe God speaks to you—and only to you—on your Blackberry.

You might be a Socialist if: Your growing up heroes were Karl Marx, Friedrich Engels, not George Washington and Thomas Jefferson.

You might be a right winger if: You think Jefferson wanted freedom from the British Monarchy just to hand over the freedom to corporations.

You might be a Socialist if: You want to spend other people’s money faster than they do.

You might be a right winger if: You would rather see your country’s people homeless and broke, your infrastructure decay, and drug addiction and alcoholism increase rather than take any money from the filthy rich who invest nothing back into the society they are getting rich from.

You might be a Socialist if: You blame everything on George W. Bush.

You might be a right winger if: You really think that George Bush was a good president, when the entire world thinks he was a moron.

You might be a Socialist if: You steal Christmas Eve and Palm Sunday from the Christian masses.

You might be a right winger if: You believe you can buy shares in heaven by donating to the Christian TV evangelists.

You might be a Socialist if: You empower aging 60ish hippies as your shadow government.

You might be a right winger if: You empower 1950ish cold war hasbeens as your shadow government.

You might be a Socialist if: You throw all your friends, and even your own Granny under the bus.

You might be a right winger if: You then charge them bus fare.


Great comebacks!

Nice to see somebody refute such witless nonsense. :yh_worshp

[Accountable]

You might be a Socialist if: Your baby diapers were red and not white;

You might be a right winger if: You don’t care if someone can afford diapers or not, if they can’t afford it they shouldn't be having babies.

'kay, ya got me leaning right.

You might be a Socialist if: You hide behind the white flag of surrender instead of bravely showing the Stars and Stripes.

You might be a right winger if: You blindly follow Stars and Stripes anywhere, without thinking for yourself or wondering where you are being led.

Hmmm :yh_think not fitting either.

You might be a Socialist if: Your best friends include Chavez, Castro, Ortega and Zelaya.

You might be a right winger if: Your best friends include: Richard Scrushy, Bernard Ebbers, Conrad Black,

I haven't even heard of the second set. That make me a Socialist? My best friends are Chuck, Tom, and Mary Ann. :-2

You might be a Socialist if: You’re convinced Russia is on your side.

You might be a right winger if: You think everyone else is against you

The fact that you are paranoid does not necessarily mean that everyone is not out to get you. :-3

You might be a Socialist if: You swallow up GM and spit out Government Motors.

You might be a right winger if: You think that it is OK to bail out all your friends who almost bankrupted the country.

So ..... Obama is a right-wing socialist?

You might be a Socialist if: You offer the peace of the grave rather than peace through strength to the Free World.

You might be a right winger if: Your idea of peace is invading oil rich countries because they are ‘evil’.

Got it. If you want peace, avoid the left and the right.

You might be a Socialist if: You travel the world putting America down but hole up in the White House when you come back home.

You might be a right winger if: You never travel the world, because you think that there is no world outside your own country

I've traveled the world, but my house is brick.

You might be a Socialist if: You try to force veggies grown in human feces (sludge) down the throats of helpless little “fat kids.

You might be a right winger if: You don’t care about the health of the people, only the health of the bottom line of MacDonald’s.

How about if I care about my own health, let others care about their health, and rather insist that people flush the toilet?

You might be a Socialist if: You believe God speaks to you—and only to you—on your Blackberry.

You might be a right winger if: You believe God speaks to you—and only to you—on your Blackberry.

Do I need to buy a Blackberry? Those things are complicated.

You might be a Socialist if: Your growing up heroes were Karl Marx, Friedrich Engels, not George Washington and Thomas Jefferson.

You might be a right winger if: You think Jefferson wanted freedom from the British Monarchy just to hand over the freedom to corporations.

I'm pretty sure Jefferson didn't want to hand it over to the federal government, either. My heroes growing up were my mom and Eddie, from "Courtship of Eddie's Father."

You might be a Socialist if: You want to spend other people’s money faster than they do.

You might be a right winger if: You would rather see your country’s people homeless and broke, your infrastructure decay, and drug addiction and alcoholism increase rather than take any money from the filthy rich who invest nothing back into the society they are getting rich from.

Hmmm that's a long list. I'd like to spend other people's money before my own, of course, but that's not fair, is it? I never knew that being rich created alcoholism and drug addiction in others. Whatever will we do??

You might be a Socialist if: You blame everything on George W. Bush.

You might be a right winger if: You really think that George Bush was a good president, when the entire world thinks he was a moron.

Does that mean right wingers qualify as an endangered species? :wah:

You might be a Socialist if: You steal Christmas Eve and Palm Sunday from the Christian masses.

You might be a right winger if: You believe you can buy shares in heaven by donating to the Christian TV evangelists.

Can we buy back Christmas Eve and Palm Sunday instead? :yh_idea

You might be a Socialist if: You empower aging 60ish hippies as your shadow government.

You might be a right winger if: You empower 1950ish cold war hasbeens as your shadow government.

um, do we have to have a shadow government? I mean, isn't it big enough already?

You might be a Socialist if: You throw all your friends, and even your own Granny under the bus.

You might be a right winger if: You then charge them bus fare.
So Obama is a right wing socialist.

[hoppy]

Know what I liked about it? The laughs I get when stuff like this rattles a cage or two.

[mikeinie]

hoppy;1323282 wrote: Know what I liked about it? The laughs I get when stuff like this rattles a cage or two.


Not rattled, just hav'n fun

[gmc]

How many capitalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. if it needed to be done market forces would have done so already.




---

There was this little boy, who after watching TV one night asked his father, "What is politics?" And the father said, "Well, let me explain it this way. I go to work every day and bring home the money - so I am what you call a Capitalist. Now your mother takes the money, pays the bills and makes sure everything runs well - so she is called the Government. And because we take care of you, you would be the People. Now your nanny is the Working Class and your little baby brother would be what we all consider the Future." The little boy said, "Okay," and went out to play. Later that night, he was awakened by the baby crying. He got up and went into the baby's room and, WOW, did it stink ....very bad diaper. So he went into his parent's room, but his mom was sleeping and his dad was missing. So he went looking for his dad and he heard sounds from his nanny's room. He tried the door, it was locked then he looked through the keyhole and saw his dad and the nanny going at it together in the bed. So the little boy decided to go back to sleep. The next morning when he saw his dad he said, "Dad, I know what politics really means now!" His dad very proudly said, "Well, great. Tell me in your own words." "Well," said the little boy, "Politics is when the Capitalists screw the Working Class, while the Government sleeps, the People are ignored and the Future is in deep ****...."

[mikeinie]

A farmer is standing in his field while his sheep dog is out herding up the sheep.

A red convertible come over the hill and down the road, and suddenly pulls over.

The drivers yells to the farmer ‘If I can tell you exactly how many sheep you have in the field will you give me one of your sheep?’

The farmers shrugs and says ‘OK’

The man pulls out a lap top, links it to his wireless GPS, scans the area and does a digital read out which then prints to a wireless printer in the boot of the car.

The man says ‘ you have 362 sheep in the field.

The farmer says correct, and the man goes and picks up one of the animals and puts it in his car.

Before he drives away the farmer says ‘if I can tell you what you do for a living will you give me the animal back?’

The man says ‘yes’

‘You’re a consultant’ says the farmer

The man says ‘yes, how did you know?’

The farmer replies:

‘you show up here uninvited, tell me stuff I already know, and you don’t know anything about my business, now give me back by dog!’

[Accountable]

gmc;1324524 wrote: ---


:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

[Nomad]

mikeinie;1324536 wrote:

If I can tell you exactly how many sheep you have in the field will you give me one of your sheep?

now give me back by dog!


There are some glaring contradictions in this story.

[mikeinie]

Nomad;1324686 wrote: There are some glaring contradictions in this story.


You see, the consultant was so stupid and actually knew so little about the farmers business, that when he went to take a sheep, he actually took the farmers dog. He didn’t know any better….

It is just not the same when you have to explain it…