Alternate meanings for common words.

[hoppy]

Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter:

A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.

Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl:

What a bullfighter tries to do.

Baloney buh-lo'-nee:

Where some hemlines fall.

Bernadette burn'-a-det:

The act of torching a mortgage.

Burglarize bur'-gler-ize:

What a crook sees with.

Control kon-trol':

A short, ugly inmate.

Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers :

Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

Eclipse i-klips':

What an English barber does for a living.

Eyedropper i'-drop-ur:

A clumsy ophthalmologist.

>Heroes hee'-rhos:

What a guy in a boat does.

Left Bank left' bangk':

What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.

Misty mis'-tee:

How golfers create divots.

Paradox par'-u-doks:

Two physicians.

Parasites par'-uh-sites:

What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Pharmacist farm'-uh-sist:

A helper on the farm.

Polarize po'-lur-ize:

What penguins see with.

Primate pri'-mat:

Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

Relief ree-leef':

What trees do in the spring.

Rubberneck rub'-er-nek:

What you do to relax your wife.

Seamstress seem'-stres:

Describes 250 pounds in a size six.

Selfish sel'-fish:

What the owner of a seafood store does.

Subdued sub-dood':

Like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man.

Sudafed sood'-a-fed:

Bringing litigation against a government official.

[ZAP]

:yh_rotfl Those are sooo funny!!

[beowulf]

lol...made me think of this......

Attached files

[ZAP]

Oh those are funny! Micro chip--ha ha! :yh_laugh

[hoppy]

beowulf;1303228 wrote: lol...made me think of this......


:yh_rotfl

[BTS]

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question in an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Bonus "NEOLOGISM's"

Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

Excruciate: n., the ligament that attaches your ex-wife to your paycheck.

Pontificate: n., a document given to each graduating pope.

Pimple: n., pimp's apprentice.

Discussion: n., a Frisbee-related head injury.

Ozone: n., area in which the G-spot is located.

Flattery: n., a place that manufactures A and B cup brassieres only.

Cabbage Patch: A patch for those trying to stop eating cabbage.

Sudafed: A software program on how to file a civil action against the government.

Pop Secret: Paternity suit settled without publicity.

Oral-B: Monica's grade on her last intern evaluation.

[ZAP]

BTS- Those are hilarious. Frisbeetarianism :yh_rotfl

[beowulf]

off on a slight tangent............i always liked this place at work ......a fave was 'seagull manager' :wah::wah:

BuzzWhack: The Buzzword Compliant Dictionary

[CARLA]

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl good stuff..