Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

How's your day going? Are you having a great work day - or - a horrible one? Got complaints about your boss? Your co-workers? Your spouse or friends? This is the place to let it hang out.
Post Reply
User avatar
Raven
Posts: 4069
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:21 am

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Raven »

I had no idea where to put this, so I figure this will do.

I need help with my homework. Nooooo this isnt cheating, but more like an extension of learning.

I am asking for advice on how to write a really kick ass academic essay.

Dont need content, I have plenty of my own.:rolleyes:

I need advice on form and technical writing! Spot, I know you MUST be good at this! Bryn? You guys know what English Uni's require! I am trying to get beyond the ho-hum and merit into the honours category.



Can anyone help me please? :o
~Quoth the Raven, Nevermore!~
User avatar
Oscar Namechange
Posts: 31842
Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:26 am

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Oscar Namechange »

Raven;1260040 wrote: I had no idea where to put this, so I figure this will do.

I need help with my homework. Nooooo this isnt cheating, but more like an extension of learning.

I am asking for advice on how to write a really kick ass academic essay.

Dont need content, I have plenty of my own.:rolleyes:

I need advice on form and technical writing! Spot, I know you MUST be good at this! Bryn? You guys know what English Uni's require! I am trying to get beyond the ho-hum and merit into the honours category.



Can anyone help me please? :o eye is know goood as eye cent speel.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
User avatar
Raven
Posts: 4069
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:21 am

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Raven »

oscar;1260042 wrote: eye is know goood as eye cent speel.
:yh_rotfl I have a spell check. It is confusing enough without having to worry how the English spell words too! (which incidently is a total nightmare, as they spell EVERYTHING differently.)
~Quoth the Raven, Nevermore!~
User avatar
spot
Posts: 41336
Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2005 5:19 pm
Location: Brigstowe

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by spot »

Betty's in the middle of writing essays just like that for her English degree course, I bet she could summarise her experience when she gets home.

What's the essay title? That might be a way into discussing it.

I doubt whether "I think... I think... I think..." gets huge marks, an essay isn't a forum post. The question might be set as "is it true that" or "compare X and Y" but either will require you to find quotes from sources which discuss the topic. A thousand words of "on the one hand A B and C say... while on the other hand..." is pretty academic. A preamble teasing the question into strands gives you a focus. Chase the strands and throw in a summary at the end - you might be allowed one "I think" at that point, so long as it has a "because" after it.

The essay title is the bull. The quotes are your picadors' lances. Choreographing the kill is where you get your marks from.

Raven wrote: I have a spell check. It is confusing enough without having to worry how the English spell words too! (which incidently is a total nightmare, as they spell EVERYTHING differently.Umm... E V E R Y T H I N G...

Nope.
Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
User avatar
YZGI
Posts: 11527
Joined: Thu Apr 06, 2006 11:24 am

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by YZGI »

Just use alot of periods, commas, and semi colons, that seems to dazzle them.
User avatar
minks
Posts: 26281
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:58 pm

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by minks »

be sure to include a lot of

therefore

therein

hence forth

the

thou

here with in

you know all that fancy stuff :yh_rotfl

Oh hell Raven surprise them, turn it in as a fantacy story with facts inserted hehehehehe
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

― Mae West
User avatar
Raven
Posts: 4069
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:21 am

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Raven »

spot;1260046 wrote: Betty's in the middle of writing essays just like that for her English degree course, I bet she could summarise her experience when she gets home.



What's the essay title? That might be a way into discussing it.



I doubt whether "I think... I think... I think..." gets huge marks, an essay isn't a forum post. The question might be set as "is it true that" or "compare X and Y" but either will require you to find quotes from sources which discuss the topic. A thousand words of "on the one hand A B and C say... while on the other hand..." is pretty academic. A preamble teasing the question into strands gives you a focus. Chase the strands and throw in a summary at the end - you might be allowed one "I think" at that point, so long as it has a "because" after it.



The essay title is the bull. The quotes are your picadors' lances. Choreographing the kill is where you get your marks from.



Umm... E V E R Y T H I N G...



Nope.
Nope. I think is strictly prohibited. Third person only. And I have to back up every statement with evidence. This is technical writing on a medical scale. Quoting is strictly frowned upon as paraphrasing is the word of the day.

My problem is focus. I waffle too much. :(
~Quoth the Raven, Nevermore!~
User avatar
Raven
Posts: 4069
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:21 am

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Raven »

minks;1260051 wrote: be sure to include a lot of



therefore

therein

hence forth

the

thou

here with in



you know all that fancy stuff :yh_rotfl



Oh hell Raven surprise them, turn it in as a fantacy story with facts inserted hehehehehe
Oh no! Must not look or resemble anything like a fiction! These academics are truly frightening!:thinking:
~Quoth the Raven, Nevermore!~
User avatar
dubs
Posts: 3068
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 2:50 pm

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by dubs »

Have you looked at any of these things? Any good?

BBC - h2g2 - The Structure of an Essay

Essay Structure...

How to Structure Your Essay – 6 Easy Steps

There's a few if you have a mooch on Google..




My dog's a cross between a Shihtzu and a Bulldog... It's a Bullsh!t..
User avatar
Betty Boop
Posts: 16934
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 1:17 pm
Location: The end of the World

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Betty Boop »

I'll have a mooch around later, does your university have a little branch of academic 'skills' tutors that you can approach for a one to one with. We can make an appointment and show up with one of our efforts and they will go through it with us.

A lot of it is knowing what your tutor wants as well, they all have their own individual criteria for a 'good' essay.

Are you ok with the referencing procedures too?
User avatar
Raven
Posts: 4069
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:21 am

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Raven »

Betty Boop;1260166 wrote: I'll have a mooch around later, does your university have a little branch of academic 'skills' tutors that you can approach for a one to one with. We can make an appointment and show up with one of our efforts and they will go through it with us.

A lot of it is knowing what your tutor wants as well, they all have their own individual criteria for a 'good' essay.

Are you ok with the referencing procedures too?
Oh yes! Got the Harvard down pat! But what really puzzles me, is if you listen to what the module lecturer wants, then you usually fail! Because they are not the ones who end up marking the dang thing! I got two close calls last semester because I did what the module leaders wanted! It's well confusing!:(
~Quoth the Raven, Nevermore!~
User avatar
AussiePam
Posts: 9898
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:57 pm

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by AussiePam »

I always found that it is useful to use your opening paragraph to define the question. Make sure you really do understand what is being asked.

It is also a good idea to know roughly what you're intending to end up with, in advance.. This stops the kind of vague woofly essay which meanders on not quite knowing where it's going till it sort of bogs down somewhere.

Writing a brief summary in bare bones point form first can be very helpful. This clarifies your thinking and as you go about your daily other business your subconscious can be ticking over your points - fleshing them out.

Kids in Australia have just finished their final high school exams. There was a loud outcry this year in certain subjects. Students apparently learn stock essays by rote and this year the Board of Studies had hit them with left fielders where they actually had to think for themselves. A good essay writer should LOVE left field opportunities. You can be original and creative.

BUT academic essays are about logically reaching a reasonable conclusion, defending your answer with rigour. If you don't quote directly, put your sources in the footnotes.

Apart from that, keep it brief, to the point and above all simple. Start... argue... and when you've said what you set out to say.. stop.

Knowing who's marking the papers, and the general philosophical direction of the lecturers, tutors, department also helps. As in all good writing - know your target audience.
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"

User avatar
G-man
Posts: 4534
Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2005 8:13 pm

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by G-man »

I'm sorry I couldn't be here earlier to help you out again with writing R!

If you still need help just let me know... My gf is also amazing with medical essays in particular... she's definitely mastered the art of kick ass essays

(pretty much anything that involves kicking ass, in fact). :p

I'll be around later tonight if you still need help.


Signature text removed at the request of a member.



Participate in The unOfficial Forum Garden Scavenger Hunt 2009!



User avatar
Raven
Posts: 4069
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:21 am

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Raven »

Thanks you guys! I will PM you with specific questions. Because I really want these last 4 to be good. I get offered to be put on the higher degree w/honours if my average is above 55%. Any volunteers to scrutinise drafts for me? Doesnt matter if you dont understand what I write about, but it helps.
~Quoth the Raven, Nevermore!~
User avatar
Bryn Mawr
Posts: 16113
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2006 4:54 pm

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Bryn Mawr »

Raven;1261550 wrote: Thanks you guys! I will PM you with specific questions. Because I really want these last 4 to be good. I get offered to be put on the higher degree w/honours if my average is above 55%. Any volunteers to scrutinise drafts for me? Doesnt matter if you dont understand what I write about, but it helps.


If you want a read-through and critique of any draft then send a copy and I'll do my best.
K.Snyder
Posts: 10253
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:05 pm

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by K.Snyder »

minks;1260051 wrote:

you know all that fancy stuff :yh_rotfl




:sneaky: :yh_devil











...



















:yh_silly
User avatar
Rapunzel
Posts: 6509
Joined: Thu May 12, 2005 5:47 pm

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Rapunzel »

Raven;1261550 wrote: Thanks you guys! I will PM you with specific questions. Because I really want these last 4 to be good. I get offered to be put on the higher degree w/honours if my average is above 55%. Any volunteers to scrutinise drafts for me? Doesnt matter if you dont understand what I write about, but it helps.


I've got an honours degree.

I'm happy to read it if you think it will help.

Just give me plenty of time to do it in. :)
User avatar
Raven
Posts: 4069
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:21 am

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Raven »

I did not have time to send this one out for any help as I only finished it the day it was due. I am posting it here for all the suggestions and tips you guys might collectively offer! Cheeky I know, but there it is. It doesnt matter if there are bits you dont understand, I am needing alot of help with form and style. (I waffle too much!)

A 3000 word analysis of a critical incident related to interprofessional delivery of health and/or social care which demonstrates ability to set the situation in context





Introduction: Description of event

This analysis is based upon the immediate health need of an elderly male patient who will be called Mr. T, by whom verbal permission was obtained and in accordance with the confidentiality and anonymity required by the NMC Code of Conduct (2008).

A PEST analysis tool will be used to show the political, economical, sociocultural and technological factors involved with Mr. T and his effort to stop smoking. And in so doing will demonstrate the impact of policies in professional practice, and how those policies impact directly upon patients themselves.

The Student Nurse had an opportunity to do some health promotion, and follow up on Mr. T’s progress during placement with the District Nurse team. While on a routine home visit to treat a long term condition, Mr. T was found in respiratory distress by the Student Nurse and a community HCA. Following hospitalisation, Mr. T was given a diagnosis of type II respiratory failure. Even though the District Nurses had been encouraging Mr. T to stop smoking, it was not until he developed respiratory failure that he could associate directly to himself, the effect smoking can have upon health.

While in hospital, Mr. T was put on Nicotine Replacement Therapy (NRT) and referred to the NHS Stop Smoking Service (2009), and upon discharge utilised the phone support and counselling. At the time of this writing, Mr. T remains smoke free because of his self determination to improve his health outcomes and quality of life.

Political:

According to the World Health Organisation (2009), 54 million deaths a year worldwide are contributed to tobacco use. Mr. T became aware, through effective health promotion by the Student Nurse, how close he came to becoming one of those statistics. The World Health Organisation (WHO) (2009) has published a report on implementing smoke free environments as part of a series that addresses a global tobacco epidemic. An epidemic they addressed in an international treaty called the Framework Convention on Tobacco Control (FCTC) (2003). This is an evidence based treaty that has 168 United Nations (UN)

signatories ratifying it including the UK. It came into full force on 27 February 2005. This is the first of its kind dealing with bans, advertising and sponsorship, labelling of tobacco products, smuggling, and second hand smoke amongst other issues.

~Quoth the Raven, Nevermore!~
User avatar
Raven
Posts: 4069
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:21 am

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Raven »

The European Union has embraced the treaty by implementing legislation governing the growing of tobacco, creating a tobacco control policy, instituting bans from smoking in public places, such as pubs, offices and hospitals, across all the member states, of which Ireland was first in 2004, and governing advertisement.

The UK has led the world in awareness of the risks of smoking. The Department of Health (DOH) published a white paper entitled Smoking Kills (1998). It is basically about introducing various measures in smoking cessation and improving the health of the nation. This was achieved by banning smoking in enclosed public places, the workplace and bans all advertisement of tobacco products from sporting events and billboards as well as on public television.

According to the DOH smoking has been reduced in the UK since 1998 from 28% to 21%, a fall of about 2.5 million. However, with 80,000 people in the UK dying each year due to a smoking related illness, there is still much to do.

The first chapter of the DOH Health Act (2006) is entirely devoted to smoke-free legislation covering the environment, premises and vehicles. In accordance with the Health Act (2006), England went smoke-free on 1 July 2007. On 1 October 2007, it became illegal to sell tobacco products to anyone under the age of eighteen. According to a one year on report (2008), it states a survey reports a 70% public support base for the smoke-free laws, and that it believes that the nation is healthier because of the legislation.

Following on the white paper Smoking Kills (1998), the government initiated the NHS Stop Smoking Service (1999). This service consists of counselling and support to patients wanting to quit alongside providing various NRT such as patches and Zyban. Services are flexible according to fit the patients needs. Either group or one to one counselling is provided by trained Nurses or Pharmacists according to the NHS (2009).

The government allocated £138 million over three years 2003-2006 for these services. Due to the success of this programme a further £112 million was made available for the years 2006-2008 to the PCTs directly. Furthermore, the government has made available on NHS prescription, stop smoking aids.

Because the UK has adopted the guidance of the WHO treaty on improving the health of nations through smoking cessation legislation, Mr. T has benefitted directly and remains smoke-free through the support given through his local NHS Stop Smoking Service.

In January 2006, the DOH published a command paper entitled Our Health, Our Care, Our Say. What this means for Mr. T is, the government listened to what the public expected from their health service by launching two major consultations with them. The number one response was to understand how they lived and to help them to lead healthier lives, and to be nearer to where they lived. This consultation brought about major changes in policy and practice at the local level. In short, it gives GPs, PCTs and local services a greater say in personalising their services to local communities. In other words, to better deliver a more holistic and accessible service.

Clinical governance is the system the NHS institutions use to safeguard, improve and monitor the quality of care of services delivered. The National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) works alongside clinical governance in cutting costs while maintaining and improving care and value for money. NICE guidance with the adoption of National Service Frameworks (NSF) ensures uniformity, and equality of care is maintained, as well as evidence based targets. For example, the PCT treating Mr. T was able to apply NICE guidelines (2006) regarding the public health intervention in smoking cessation interventions, which are evidence based in their approach. These guidelines are for all practitioners, GP’s, Nurses, Pharmacists, Physiotherapists, Social Workers, amongst others, who have direct contact with patients in Primary Care and other settings.

However, living in a democratic Western Society, is all this legislation regarding bans and fines, creating a more isolated and socially excluded minority? According to Forest, a pro-smokers lobby founded in 1979, it is.

Action on Smoking and Health (ASH) (2009), an anti-smoking charity and lobby, refutes this argument by stating tobacco control is more about protection not restriction.

Economical:

According to research funded by the British Heart Foundation as reported by the BBC (2009), treating disease directly caused by smoking, costs the NHS over £5 billion a year. This figure is more than one fifth the NHS budget for the year 2005-2006. Mr. T is one in five who suffers disease directly caused by smoking in the UK alone.

The WHO recognised the overwhelming potential cost and suggested a taxation strategy in the FCTC (2003). Article 6 of the Framework specifically deals with pricing and taxation as a means to reduce demand for tobacco.

Cancer Research UK reports in a policy statement on Tobacco Taxation and Smuggling (2009) that the high price set by high taxation is the most effective tool in deterring smoking, especially in the young and low wage earners.

The EU currently has a draft Tax Directive (2009) that is attempting to address the disparity among member States in tobacco pricing and tax. Due to the various prices and taxes imposed by the different member states, the EU is trying to decrease cross border purchases and encourage citizens to quit where prices on tobacco products remain cheap. The Directive has adopted most of the recommendations from the public health sector, and for the very first time, links tax to health objectives.

In their Policy Statement (2009), Cancer Research UK believes that £1.7 billion was lost in tax revenue for the fiscal year 2006-7 alone, due to illegal trade in tobacco products. It goes on to propose that not only does smuggling tobacco exacerbate health inequalities, but that it undermines the purpose behind price and tax increases, which is to make it easier to choose to quit smoking and prevent the young from starting up in the first place.

English (2009) has noted since the smoking ban of 2007, an average of 2600 pubs have closed a year.

Social/Cultural:

Mr. T, prior to retirement, was considered working class. In a paper on social class, written by Hulme (1999), it is suggested that there are two definitions of class; objective and subjective. The objective is something that can be measured, such as occupation, which is how the old system was measured under the Registrar General. This particular system became obsolete in 2000. However it is the subjective definition that most applies to Mr. T.



It applies by what cannot be measured. In other words, by what class Mr. T associates with himself. Friends, family, neighbourhood, regardless of personal wealth, these factors are more likely to affect Mr. T and his behaviour and choices, as is also suggested by Hulme (1999).

The white paper Choosing Health: Making healthy choices easier (2004), the DOH is trying to preserve choice, for it acknowledges changes in behaviours should be based on choice, not direction. The main aim of this paper is to address health inequality by making healthy choices more accessible and the most marginalised in society and most excluded see faster improvements in health.

Due to a long term condition, Mr. T is classed as home bound. His social contacts were limited to daily carers and his thrice weekly DN visits.

All of which were possible due to the NHS Next Stage Review (2007), without which it would have been more difficult for Mr. T to access healthcare. This is what the DOH (2007) addresses with Tackling Inequalities: A Programme for Action.

The WHO defines health inequalities as a disparity of mortality rates between people of different social classes, and more properly termed as inequity, which has more to do with the unequal distribution of wealth and opportunities to access health care. Mr. T in part, fell within the definition of social exclusion in that he was unable to access services and goods that a majority of the rest of the country could, according to Age Concern (2008). ASH (2009), believes smoking is the largest cause of health inequalities between social classes.

A troubling trend in real terms is the latest tendency of society to discriminate against what could be seen as ‘self inflicted’ disease, smoking and obesity in particular. Jackson (2007) points out, with more power, the health authorities could actually refuse treatment for diseases associated with smoking and obesity if patients do not comply with regulations imposed by the government. For Mr. T, this would have had fatal results if it were possible.

As a male patient, Mr. T has a different socio-cultural outlook on health than a woman might, Kerr (2002). Being working class, his lifestyle choices might be different as well. Sports, leisure, and employment were most likely to influence behaviours, according to Smith (2001).

Technological:

Due to modern technology and a greater understanding of tobacco and nicotine addiction, Mr. T did not have to suffer withdrawal symptoms. The NHS (2007) advises NRT comes in many forms such as gum, lozenges, nasal sprays, and patches.

All these come in varying strengths and duration. While all those are available over the counter, bupropion (Zyban) is available only by prescription. However there is a danger of having too much choice. According to Darnton (2008), when faced with too difficult a decision or too much choice, many could choose the easiest option and not quit at all. This puts smoking in the category of problem behaviours.

Counselling services are varied and adapted to meet the needs of individuals. For instance, Mr. T had counselling by telephone and support by mail, as well as NRT patches. The NHS (2009) has included information and numbers to all the services that are available. These services are delivered by health professionals that have undergone a short training programme for stop smoking, NICE (2006). Self help books, guides and websites combined with NRT are all part of the information included in the NHS Choices Free Quit Kit (2009), which is part of a new campaign initiated by the DOH.

As the telephone counselling sessions is the choice Mr. T made by necessity, as he is homebound, is also proving to be cost effective, as well as being an effective instrument in keeping patients smoke free, as the results of a randomised control trial suggests. Rabius (2007) also notes that according to the probability of relapse, brief sessions in increasing intervals can be more easily managed and proves to be more cost effective.

Alternative therapies such as hypnosis, acupuncture, herbal remedies, nutrition and massage, are more attractive for people who prefer a more natural and organic means of quitting smoking. While research on the success of alternative therapies is scant, Szudy (2009) surmises that no treatment would work without a strong desire and willpower. A person must be ready and determined or not one treatment would succeed.







Conclusion:

Crozier (2005) has identified smoking as the greatest cause of preventable death and disease in the UK. Because of documents like Choosing Health (2004), Tackling Inequalities (2007) and guidelines from NICE (2006), the medical practitioners treating Mr. T, from his GP, DN, carers, and the Student Nurse, who was able to show Mr.T his condition was directly related to smoking by pulse oximetry and peak flow results, they were finally able to convince Mr. T that Crozier (2005) is right.

By working in a collaborative manner with other services, which government, health and social policies are moving to integrate, proves that Primary Care, Secondary Care and Social services can meet the challenges of a changing community and possibly reduce the effects of lifestyle induced diseases, Chilton (2004).

This hospitalisation ended positively for Mr. T because all the systems, legislation and technology were in place to support him. Prior to 1948, Doctors asked to be paid before they came out. Before the NHS, there were work houses attached to the hospital, Baker (2004). Even today, with reforms such as DOH (2004) Choosing Health, there remain recognisable inequalities in healthcare. Mr.T lives in a very economically deprived area; therefore it is assumed social networks and psychosocial environment all have a part to play in influencing behaviour, Asthana (2006)

Prochaska, Di Clemente (1991) developed the stages- of- change model specifically to understand how smokers gave up smoking. It explains the stages a person may go through during the course of kicking addiction. The first stage Mr. T was in at home, was pre-contemplation insomuch as he was sure there was not a problem to be changed in the first place in spite of what all the Nurses and Carers said. As his breathlessness became worse over time, he became contemplative. He wondered if the Nurses and carers could be right, but not quite sure how to manage. The next stage is preparation/determination and this was where the Student Nurse and HCA found him. In acute respiratory distress knowing his smoking probably played a major factor in his developing the condition. In the hospital, following on opportunistic counselling by the Student Nurse, NICE (2006), he entered into action/willpower. The evidence shown to him by pulse oximetry and peak flow results was convincing. Maintaining the behaviour change is fully supported by telephone counselling and monitoring of his NRT.

If any one of these stages or any one of the integrated team had failed in associating the smoking habit of Mr. T and his respiratory failure, he would most likely be a lot worse off today. Instead, he is enjoying a better prognosis and health outcome, and perhaps a few more years to reckon with because he had the support and encouragement of his healthcare team in quitting smoking.

























~Quoth the Raven, Nevermore!~
User avatar
Raven
Posts: 4069
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:21 am

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Raven »

Gotta say that this is my work. I own it, therfore I can post it for the purposes of the help I myself requested.

There is no identifying names or Trusts in it. Mr. T is a pseudonym for a real person who will remain anonymous.

Think I covered all the important bits.
~Quoth the Raven, Nevermore!~
Clodhopper
Posts: 5115
Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2008 5:11 pm

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Clodhopper »

I'm a bit late with this. But maybe it'll help in future essays if not this one. This is one possible technique:

Academic essay: Basic structure:

1) Intro. Define the question to make it clear exactly what you are talking about (as Aussiepam says). If the essay question is ambiguous or unclear, this is where you make it clear how YOU are interpreting the question.

2a) Main body. Look for three main areas you wish to discuss. These are your paragraphs. If you have less than three, you are probably (not definitely) not thinking widely enough. You may need four or five paras to cover all the areas that you feel are relevant. It's a good way of clarifying your thinking for yourself, let alone the examiner.

2b) Use the basic academic unit of argument:

1) Statement: Make a relevant statement about the issue under discussion.

2) Evidence: Produce accurate evidence (quotation, fact, paraphrase - whatever) that backs up your Statement.

3) Analysis: Tell the examiner exactly what it is about the Evidence that shows your Statement is accurate and relevant.

Each of your paragraphs should be made up of these "academic units". Each paragraph may need its own very short into and conclusion. It's a judgement call at that point.

3) Conclusion: This is where you pull together the threads of argument in your paragraphs to show how YOU have answered the question. I repeat: Answer the Question.

This is not the best or only way of dealing with every academic essay, but it works. Once you've got the hang of it, you can twist it to suit all sorts of circumstances.
The crowd: "Yes! We are all individuals!"

Lone voice: "I'm not."
User avatar
Rapunzel
Posts: 6509
Joined: Thu May 12, 2005 5:47 pm

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Rapunzel »

Raven;1279978 wrote: I did not have time to send this one out for any help as I only finished it the day it was due. I am posting it here for all the suggestions and tips you guys might collectively offer! Cheeky I know, but there it is. It doesnt matter if there are bits you dont understand, I am needing alot of help with form and style. (I waffle too much!)

A 3000 word analysis of a critical incident related to interprofessional delivery of health and/or social care which demonstrates ability to set the situation in context





Introduction: Description of event

This analysis is based upon the immediate health need of an elderly male patient who will be called Mr. T, by whom verbal permission was obtained and in accordance with the confidentiality and anonymity required by the NMC Code of Conduct (2008).

A PEST analysis tool will be used to show the political, economical, sociocultural and technological factors involved with Mr. T and his effort to stop smoking. And in so doing will demonstrate the impact of policies in professional practice, and how those policies impact directly upon patients themselves.

The Student Nurse had an opportunity to do some health promotion, and follow up on Mr. T’s progress during placement with the District Nurse team. While on a routine home visit to treat a long term condition, Mr. T was found in respiratory distress by the Student Nurse and a community HCA. Following hospitalisation, Mr. T was given a diagnosis of type II respiratory failure. Even though the District Nurses had been encouraging Mr. T to stop smoking, it was not until he developed respiratory failure that he could associate directly to himself, the effect smoking can have upon health.

While in hospital, Mr. T was put on Nicotine Replacement Therapy (NRT) and referred to the NHS Stop Smoking Service (2009), and upon discharge utilised the phone support and counselling. At the time of this writing, Mr. T remains smoke free because of his self determination to improve his health outcomes and quality of life.

Political:

According to the World Health Organisation (2009), 54 million deaths a year worldwide are contributed to tobacco use. Mr. T became aware, through effective health promotion by the Student Nurse, how close he came to becoming one of those statistics. The World Health Organisation (WHO) (2009) has published a report on implementing smoke free environments as part of a series that addresses a global tobacco epidemic. An epidemic they addressed in an international treaty called the Framework Convention on Tobacco Control (FCTC) (2003). This is an evidence based treaty that has 168 United Nations (UN)

signatories ratifying it including the UK. It came into full force on 27 February 2005. This is the first of its kind dealing with bans, advertising and sponsorship, labelling of tobacco products, smuggling, and second hand smoke amongst other issues.




It looks really good Raven. There are some nit-picky things that I would have done a bit differently. For instance, the first time you use a code you write it like this: The World Health Organisation (WHO) and from then on you can use WHO throughout your essay. You didn't do this for NMC and PEST and whilst it may be perfectly obvious to you, you should let them know that you do know what these stand for.

Also I would have referenced the dates (in parentheses) as footnotes at the bottom of each page as it makes the assignment easier to read and it saves a little on your word count. :)
User avatar
Rapunzel
Posts: 6509
Joined: Thu May 12, 2005 5:47 pm

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Rapunzel »

Clodhopper;1279988 wrote:

2) Evidence: Produce accurate evidence (quotation, fact, paraphrase - whatever) that backs up your Statement.




You HAVE to have some empirical evidence, if at all possible (which you have done). This means evidence that you have gathered yourself, not just from a text book.

You MUST NOT assume anything. EVERY single statement you make must be backed up by the book, author and page numbers you gleaned it from. (notations to be made as footnotes and included in a bibliography). Do NOT paraphrase. Rewrite into your own words, they are very HOT on plagiarism! But you know all this, I'm sure.
Clodhopper
Posts: 5115
Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2008 5:11 pm

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Clodhopper »

I'm not being clear - by paraphrase in this context I mean you might "sum up a long bit of evidence into a short sentence" and then acknowledge and footnote. I do NOT mean rehash other people's ideas as your own.
The crowd: "Yes! We are all individuals!"

Lone voice: "I'm not."
User avatar
Raven
Posts: 4069
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:21 am

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Raven »

Yes they have software to detect the slightest WHISPER of plagerism! LOL! ba$tards. I'm better at doing than writing, I'm afraid. Good thing I am not studying for a degree in essay writing! :yh_rotfl

Clod, thanks for that mate! Simple rules for following is good!
~Quoth the Raven, Nevermore!~
User avatar
Rapunzel
Posts: 6509
Joined: Thu May 12, 2005 5:47 pm

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Rapunzel »

Clodhopper;1279988 wrote:

1) Statement: Make a relevant statement about the issue under discussion.

2) Evidence: Produce accurate evidence (quotation, fact, paraphrase - whatever) that backs up your Statement.

3) Analysis: Tell the examiner exactly what it is about the Evidence that shows your Statement is accurate and relevant.

3) Conclusion: This is where you pull together the threads of argument in your paragraphs to show how YOU have answered the question. I repeat: Answer the Question.

This is not the best or only way of dealing with every academic essay, but it works. Once you've got the hang of it, you can twist it to suit all sorts of circumstances.


As Clodhopper says:

Introduction - Introduce the question and how you are going to look at it.

THESIS - Everything that is FOR your statement. Back up everything with checkable evidence.

ANTITHESIS - Everything that is AGAINST your statement. Back up everything with checkable evidence.

All assignments are set up so that there is no easy obvious answer. There are usually several points for and several points against each idea. You must list them all, in order of importance, both for and against. Each new point needs its own separate paragraph.

SYNTHESIS - You draw together all your evidence and make it make sense. Don't introduce any new evidence into your assignment.

Conclusion - what conclusion do YOU draw from what you have written. Back up your answers from what you have already written. Again, no new evidence, that should all have been introduced within the body of the assignment. ALSO, as Cloddy says - make sure you have answered the question! It is best to rephrase the original question into your answer here.

Try not to waffle, you need every word of your word count to count. You're usually allowed to be 10% over or under on word count.

Use subject specific vocabulary. It looks better, it shows you have done your research and it usually lessens your word count.

Try to use longer words, e.g., I like the word 'ameliorate' which means to improve or make better. So you could say 'The student nurse ameliorated Mr. T's condition' (7 words) instead of 'The student nurse was able to improve Mr. T's condition' (10 words). Throughout an essay these words add up and the more you can spare, the more detail you can present.

Remember a bibliography, written in uni style. You should have been taught this.

Any pictures/diagrams should have a plate number, a description (in italics) and a list of plate contents after the contents page.
User avatar
Rapunzel
Posts: 6509
Joined: Thu May 12, 2005 5:47 pm

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Rapunzel »

Clodhopper;1279998 wrote: I'm not being clear - by paraphrase in this context I mean you might "sum up a long bit of evidence into a short sentence" and then acknowledge and footnote. I do NOT mean rehash other people's ideas as your own.


Sorry cloddy, I didn't notice you use the word and I wasn't having a dig. Just writing what was in my head. I agree with what you say. :)
User avatar
Raven
Posts: 4069
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:21 am

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Raven »

Yeah but with all the reading I have to do, I have noticed time and again, there are some great ideas out there! I'm always thinking 'dang! why didnt I think of that!' :yh_rotfl Then it cheeses me off that they wrote it down first! Blast!
~Quoth the Raven, Nevermore!~
Clodhopper
Posts: 5115
Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2008 5:11 pm

Help!! Pretty PLEASE!

Post by Clodhopper »

Rap: No problem. :)
The crowd: "Yes! We are all individuals!"

Lone voice: "I'm not."
Post Reply

Return to “Welcome To My Day!”