the blank canvass that is my life

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 2:31 am

after years of struggle its all over

chantelle is gone she was never well enough to be in the army anyway ,its not suprising she broke down went awol ,the mental health team did a fantastic job the social workers saved her life ,they really did ,she handed herself in and watching your daughter being taken away by two hulking armed guards was upsetting beyond belief ,but once she got well again she wanted to do the proper thing,i dont know what will happen to her ,she may spend a year in the army prison she may be discharged ,all i know is what ever happens to her i'm proud of her and i will be here if she needs to come back ,she is very hard work with her bipolar up three days at a time hyper then comes the fall wanting to kill herself and depressed beyond belief its tough but thats what dads are for

suzy and i have broken up ,we will still be friends its a little raw right now but give it time it will be ok

so any way as i look out to the beautifull sunny day

my life is a blank canvass i can paint a masterpiece here on it .... its all up to me

wish me well and good luck guys for the first time in many many years i'm free to live my life for me the person who used to own it :-6:-6

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:07 am

Somewhere along the line Jim we lost the friendship we once had.It dosent matter who was to blame but it happened.I read your post here and it moves me very much and Jim I wish you so much.....you have come through some crap that must have been so hard for you.You have no idea how shocked and sad I was to hear about you and Suzy and I wish you both so much.

Jim.....good luck in all you do and may the days ahead be better than the ones you have come through....good luck mate.

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:40 am

You've been thru a lot jimbutt, but sometimes a fresh start is a really good thing. Before you start painting on your blank canvas, make sure to throw out the blacks, browns, and greys. Use the colors that are bright, beautiful and show a great and positive life. Whenever you find one of the dark spectrum colors trying to sneak back in, throw it away again. When your life is coming to a close, I hope you'll be able to look at that canvas and see the beautiful picture you painted that was your life. :-4

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 4:13 am

Dear Jim,

You have been through a lot of pain lately, and I know that you will be strong enough to get through this with the help of your loved ones and friends.....:-6

A Creed To Live By

Don't undermine your worth by comparing

yourself with others.

It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people

deem important.

Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart.

Cling to them as you would your life, for without them

life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers

by living in the past or for the future.

By living your life one day at a time,

you live all the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give.

Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.

It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks.

It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find.

The quickest way to receive love is to give love.

The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;

and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't dismiss your dreams.

To be without dreams is to be without hope;

to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget

not only where you've been, but also where you're going.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored

each step of the way.

~ Nancye Sims~

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 4:20 am

That's awesome Kathy...I'm saving it for when I'm ready to start my own new canvas. :-4

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 4:37 am

farmer giles;1258373 wrote: after years of struggle its all over

chantelle is gone she was never well enough to be in the army anyway ,its not suprising she broke down went awol ,the mental health team did a fantastic job the social workers saved her life ,they really did ,she handed herself in and watching your daughter being taken away by two hulking armed guards was upsetting beyond belief ,but once she got well again she wanted to do the proper thing,i dont know what will happen to her ,she may spend a year in the army prison she may be discharged ,all i know is what ever happens to her i'm proud of her and i will be here if she needs to come back ,she is very hard work with her bipolar up three days at a time hyper then comes the fall wanting to kill herself and depressed beyond belief its tough but thats what dads are for

suzy and i have broken up ,we will still be friends its a little raw right now but give it time it will be ok

so any way as i look out to the beautifull sunny day

my life is a blank canvass i can paint a masterpiece here on it .... its all up to me

wish me well and good luck guys for the first time in many many years i'm free to live my life for me the person who used to own it :-6:-6

I hope, Jimbo, that this may get Chantelle the help she needs. I pray they will get her on the right combo of meds. You are a wonderful dad to be there for her, and not to give up on her. Unfortunately, it does put a lot of strain on relationships of any kind. Good luck. May your canvass become bright and beautiful. :-4

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 4:46 am

Big hugs :-6

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:49 am

Jim, you and I have more in common than I thought. I hold my hand out to you. I am so sorry to hear about you and Suzy, but as somebody said, the stress of life at certain times can be too much pressure to bear. You are a strong guy and you will reach through OK. As Shelbell said - go get the bright colours and start your new canvas. I know I will try and in the meantime I am wearing out my 'Heroes' song in my siggy. :-6

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:12 am

Believe it or not, I've been through with my sons, the exact same thing you are going through. Life is full of peaks and valleys Jim. Just keep climbing up.

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:28 am

Carolly;1258377 wrote: Somewhere along the line Jim we lost the friendship we once had.It dosent matter who was to blame but it happened.I read your post here and it moves me very much and Jim I wish you so much.....you have come through some crap that must have been so hard for you.You have no idea how shocked and sad I was to hear about you and Suzy and I wish you both so much.

Jim.....good luck in all you do and may the days ahead be better than the ones you have come through....good luck mate.

it was not a friendship lost just put on the back boiler for the while

the fault was mine ,i was very upset and angry my daughter had gone into the army i knew she was not well enough,the thought of my little angel going out to die in a dust bowl pointless war was most upsetting for me

i posted some quite nasty stuff about bush and blair ,honestly how i felt but really should not of spilled my guts like that ,anyway all in the past no need to mention the war

sorry to everyone one once again for that

:o

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 8:11 am

Jimbo you in my thoughts and I hope things become peaceful for all of you. :-6

I was married to a Bi-Polar back then they were called Manic Depressents. I you need to chat just PM me I know your pain. I hope your beautiful daughter gets the help she desperately needs there are very good medications out now to help this disorder. Everyone will be OK just think positive. :-6

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 8:30 am

Hey Jimbo

I never told you this before, but one of the reasons I got hooked on this forum was because of the laugh I would have reading some of your stuff.

The time that this was going strong was a blast: http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/gener ... hotos.html

You are a good guy, and I really hope that everything works out for you. It may get rough around here something, but know that in a cyber kind of way, you have friends here.

I wish the best to you and to all of those that you love.

Mike

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 8:32 am

hoppy;1258412 wrote: Believe it or not, I've been through with my sons, the exact same thing you are going through. Life is full of peaks and valleys Jim. Just keep climbing up.

CARLA;1258446 wrote: Jimbo you in my thoughts and I hope things become peaceful for all of you. :-6

I was married to a Bi-Polar back then they were called Manic Depressents. I you need to chat just PM me I know your pain. I hope your beautiful daughter gets the help she desperately needs there are very good medications out now to help this disorder. Everyone will be OK just think positive. :-6
what happened to them buddy when they went back

thanks carla it is indeed tough living dealing with b/p's

but the mental health team really have worked wonders ,its hard to explain to people its almost like the child you love gets possessed by a demon then after a day or two you are left with a sobbing defenceles child again

this thread is about my bare canvass and the awesome masterpiece i'm gona create :-6:-6:D

just in bright bald i mean bold vivid colours

:D

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 8:35 am

mikeinie;1258449 wrote: Hey Jimbo

I never told you this before, but one of the reasons I got hooked on this forum was because of the laugh I would have reading some of your stuff.

The time that this was going strong was a blast: http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/gener ... hotos.html

You are a good guy, and I really hope that everything works out for you. It may get rough around here something, but know that in a cyber kind of way, you have friends here.

I wish the best to you and to all of those that you love.

Mike

thanks mike that means a lot to me

i will be ok ,i'm on the up ,i'm pulling myself together and baldly going where nomad has been before :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl i love that one

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 8:40 am

farmer giles;1258451 wrote: thanks mike that means a lot to me

i will be ok ,i'm on the up ,i'm pulling myself together and baldly going where nomad has been before :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl i love that one

You just can't keep a good man down ! Don't you dare change Jim ! :-6:);)

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 8:53 am

I remember it well its is a difficult disorder to understand because of the manic nature of the highs and lows. I use to know exactly when it would happen and I would say to him "Your hear today but I know your will be gone tomorrow" of course back then medication weren't tailored to mental health disorders like they are now.

If she follows Dr. orders and stays on meds changing them when necessary her life will be very normal and that is the wonderful thing about medicine today. :-6

[QUOTE]thanks carla it is indeed tough living dealing with b/p's

but the mental health team really have worked wonders ,its hard to explain to people its almost like the child you love gets possessed by a demon then after a day or two you are left with a sobbing defenceles child again[/QUOTE]

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 12:23 pm

farmer giles;1258435 wrote: it was not a friendship lost just put on the back boiler for the while

the fault was mine ,i was very upset and angry my daughter had gone into the army i knew she was not well enough,the thought of my little angel going out to die in a dust bowl pointless war was most upsetting for me

i posted some quite nasty stuff about bush and blair ,honestly how i felt but really should not of spilled my guts like that ,anyway all in the past no need to mention the war

sorry to everyone one once again for that

:oTakes a big man to admit his wrong Jim and I so admire you for that.Sometimes we have to go through the dark to get to the light and now at last you have found yours.It cant be easy for you Jim and hope your days ahead will get better......we used to have such laughs here....remember that Picture Thread you put up with many of us on ....in your head that is:yh_rotfl....yep was so funny...anyway WB to the old Jim we all loved.......and still do;):-4

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 1:06 pm

Hey babe Jimbo...well, I hope your daughter gets the help she needs & you & Sue can work something out...life is tough enough...its a chore to get through & one of the toughest but hopefully in the end..things will work out...just give it some time.:-4

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 1:28 pm

My love and thoughts are with you Jimbo and your beloved daughter :-4:-4

sharedfastlane · Post by **sharedfastlane** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 4:58 pm

I wish you well Jimbo.

Lovely idea - the blank canvas and I stand with you in this - you have the freedom/strength/right to paint it in your way.

Yay!

KSnyder · Post by **KSnyder** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:55 pm

Well, if you ever need anything from Ohio mate you just let me know

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 1:53 am

KSnyder;1258692 wrote: Well, if you ever need anything from Ohio mate you just let me know

my plan is get well save up some money then spend a year traveling the states so i will look you up when i get there :-6:-6

thanks buddy

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Tue Nov 03, 2009 11:43 am

KSnyder;1258880 wrote: Well, you're more than welcome to stay at me cabin free of charge!

coool buddy thanks

:D

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Nov 04, 2009 10:21 am

my life is a blank canvass i can paint a masterpiece here on it .... its all up to me

Believe that.

Originally Posted by KSnyder

Well, if you ever need anything from Ohio mate you just let me know

farmer giles;1258757 wrote: my plan is get well save up some money then spend a year traveling the states so i will look you up when i get there

While your at it you may want to visit Nebraska, Alabama and Iowa too !

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Nov 04, 2009 10:41 am

Nomad;1259169 wrote:

Believe that.

While your at it you may want to visit Nebraska, Alabama and Iowa too !
Just like you to leave out Kansas.

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 3:39 pm

Jim,

I've only just seen this thread and I feel for you.

At the end of the day though, it might just be for the best for Chantelle - the Army looks after its own and she just might get the treatment she needs to put her on a stable footing and start her on the road to a way of living that works for her.

And don't give up with Suzy - maybe it is not working for the two of you at the moment but, given time and effort, removing the stress of the moment could see the two of you back as the loving couple you were.

We've watched your pain and the effect this stress has had on you, I hope we now see the real Jim reappear and may life treat you kindly for a change :-6

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 7:19 pm

Bryn Mawr;1261437 wrote: Jim,

I hope we now see the real Jim reappear

Time Out !

Lets think this through.