9. Two words: Bloody Marys.
8. Remember that dilapidated castle you inherited back in the 1700s? You can sell that bad boy for a cool $10 million these days.
7. Instead of rushing out and buying new clothes every time there's a change in fashion, you can just wait for your old stuff to come back into style.
6. Chicks dig the fangs.
5. You can take "bite me" literally.
4. No matter what anyone says, satin-lined coffins are cheaper, more comfortable, and last longer than those stupid Craftmatic Adjustables......
3. Generally outliving the hell out of everyone.
2. You can get revenge on your enemies by turning into a bat and dropping loads of guano into their convertables.
1. Great bumper sticker for the hearse: "Life Sucks, But So Do I". :wah:
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