What americans want to say but don't have the nerve

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 12:26 pm

I notice a lot of the American posters feel they are often the victim of anti-american posts. I think to some extent they take robust discussion about politics etc a little too personally when they shouldn't but I thought it might help if they had a few examples on how to be properly insulting in return should they feel the need. Let's face it even your favoured rude gesture has one wondering why you feel the need to point at the sky.

the English are a bunch of tossers and refuse to face up to the fact they are no longer a world power

from around the world

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire, God would never trust an Englishman in the dark. Duncan Spaeth, US writer, quoted in The Book of Insults by N. McPhee, 1978

The English have no exaulted sentiments. They can all be bought.

Napoleon

The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

James Agate, British theatre critic, Ego, 1935-48

England will fight to the last American.

American saying, coined c.1917

In Germany democracy died by the headman's axe. In Britain it can be by pernicious anaemia.

Aneurin Bevan, British politician ah bring back the real socialists

Thirty millions, mostly fools.

Thomas Carlyle, Scottish historian and essayist (attrib.) when asked what was the population of England :yh_rotfl

The English think that incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.

Quentin Crisp, British writer, in the New York Times, 1977

Paralytic sycophants, effete betrayers of humanity, carrion-eating servile imitators, arch-cowards and collaborators, gang of women-murderers, degenerate rabble, parasitic traditionalists, playboy soldiers, conceited dandies.

East German Communist Party's approved terms of abuse in 1953 for East German speakers when describing Britain

Among three Italians will be found two clergymen; three Spaniards two braggarts; among three Germans two soldiers; among three Frenchmen, two chefs, and among three Englishmen two whoremongers.

German saying

The German originates it, the Frenchman imitates it, the Englishman exploits it.

German saying

A demon took a monkey to wife â€” the result by the Grace of God was the English.

Indian saying

[England is] like a prostitute who, having sold her body all her life, decides to quit and close her business, and then tells everybody she wants to be chaste and protect her flesh as if it were jade.

He Manzi, Chinese politician, in the Shanghai Liberation Daily

England is, after all, the land where children were beaten, wives and babies bashed, football hooligans crunch, and Miss Whip and Miss Lash ply their trade as nowhere else in the western world. Despite our belief we are a 'gentle' people we have, in reality, a cruel and callous streak in our sweet natures, reinforced by a decadent puritan strain which makes some of us believe that suffering, whether useful or not, is a fit scourge to the wanton soul.

Colin Maclnnes, British writer, in New Society, 1976

The Englishman is never content but when he is grumbling.

Scottish saying

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm.

Alexander Woollcott, US writer and broadcaster

Now make up some of your own. Please note this is not in any way an anti-english thread and should not be taken as such. I wouldn't bother with such a thing as |i know they are too thick skinned to care:sneaky:

Chookie · Post by **Chookie** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 12:37 pm

You missed this one:-

The Scots are well-known as the antidote to the English.

Attributed to Pope Martin V during the Hundred Years Wars.

almostfamous · Post by **almostfamous** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 12:42 pm

In response to the title alone here.... When we do speak we are silenced. I feel the reason English or whatever other nationality gets away with what they say is how they word it........ examples such as what you posted.

Lost in translation comes to mind here.

Over here we don't talk like that.. we just call you a ****in idiot as some of your examples would imply. But the way we word things is just unacceptable but in my mind, slang is slang, insults are insults and it shouldn't matter what we choose to call someone.

When I read tosser I think fkwad. Conceited dandies? Egotistical pr1cks.

Nice quote by Wolram though.

Post by **spot** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 12:46 pm

Paper Tigers.

eta: oops. I just looked that up after posting it, to check. Sorry!

almostfamous · Post by **almostfamous** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 12:51 pm

spot;1242093 wrote: Paper Tigers.

eta: oops. I just looked that up after posting it, to check. Sorry!

Threatening but harmless my ass.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 1:06 pm

The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men

Gang aft a-gley,

An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,

For promis'd joy!

Robert Burns

And you say the English are bad :yh_rotfl

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 1:29 pm

A reminder that, unless we are Native Americans, we Amercians are decendents from alot of other countries. Like England, and Ireland, and Australia, etc. In a sense we are your cousins. Family.

:D

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 1:33 pm

"Dainty dandies" was my favorite until I had a fight with an English dude over a parking situation.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 1:35 pm

hoppy;1242125 wrote: "Dainty dandies" was my favorite until I had a fight with an English dude over a parking situation.
Flibbertygibbett was a word my Father used.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 2:44 pm

Well................... I am going away and sulk now..........

Post by **spot** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 3:23 pm

Bruv;1242155 wrote: Well................... I am going away and sulk now..........

Bloody southerner.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 3:31 pm

spot;1242177 wrote: Bloody southerner.
Watch it my ole loverrrrrrrrrrr. I be one of them and will be one of them in the near future again. :guitarist:guitarist

Post by **spot** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 3:39 pm

oscar;1242186 wrote: Watch it my ole loverrrrrrrrrrr. I be one of them and will be one of them in the near future again. :guitarist:guitarist

Wat Tyler got what was coming to him, that's what I reckon.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 3:43 pm

spot;1242193 wrote: Wat Tyler got what was coming to him, that's what I reckon.
Well, he spoke very highly of you.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 3:51 pm

Scotland has heard every dig imaginable about the haggis, the Loch Ness Monster, the kilt, whisky, Irn-Bru, heather, thistles and bagpipes. Football granted can be a touchy subject if we have had a drink, but by and large we accept football as a perfectly good excuse to have a go at us. Fair doo's n all that.

We find it a bit strange that American people take things so personally and kinda wish you guys would chill out a bit.

Start a knock Scotland thread by all means, i'd be surprised if you got a 'serious' rise out of any of the Scots here. England i think is not unlike Scotland in its attitude to have a dig at the English, hence below.

Scotsman walking through a field sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand. "Awa ye eijit, can yeh no tell that's foo o coos keich?!"

I'm English, says the man. You will have to speak in English because I don't understand you!" to which the Scotsman replies heartily........

"I said use both hands, you'll get more in!"

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 4:20 pm

Ian;1242200 wrote: This is just the ignorance of Man I'm afraid, very divisive, it's like one leaf of a Tree disliking another from the same Tree just because it's on the west side, we concentrate to much on our differences rather than our similarities but like a Lion we show our true nature is a battle showing teeth of both primal seed and the spiritual soul seed.

Everything is duality :yh_sigh You mean gmc is my brother?:eek:

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 1:55 am

almostfamous;1242088 wrote: In response to the title alone here.... When we do speak we are silenced. I feel the reason English or whatever other nationality gets away with what they say is how they word it........ examples such as what you posted.

Lost in translation comes to mind here.

Over here we don't talk like that.. we just call you a ****in idiot as some of your examples would imply. But the way we word things is just unacceptable but in my mind, slang is slang, insults are insults and it shouldn't matter what we choose to call someone.

When I read tosser I think fkwad. Conceited dandies? Egotistical pr1cks.

Nice quote by Wolram though.

How can you be silenced on a written forum? No, generally some americans seem to find personal insult when none is actually intended. If it is intended then by all means retaliate, I would suggest, preferably, by being humourous, or just ignore it. It's almost impossible to talk about politics without criticising another country's foreign policy or government how on earth that can be taken as a personal insult is beyond me.

Look at the way scots and english characters are portrayed on american films-fat bastard in austin powers for instance. If a british film portrayed a caricature of an american in such an insulting manner you would all be outraged at the anti-american insult and probably ban the film. We just laughed. Englishmen are often portrayed as effete snobs, or sneaky spies in mi6, do they take offence? No because they know it's not true and don't really care what foreigners think. We take the **** out of the french and germans on a regular basis they don't sulk about it nor do we when they reciprocate because it's not taken as a personal insult. We can argue abouit the eu without the germans sulking because they don't take criticism as simply being anti german.

There are two things you can do with differences in people, either get to know and appreciate the other person and laugh at the differences or blow them out of all proportion and start a hate fest.

I was once at a burns supper where the band was from Northern ireland who were coming out with sectarian jokes one after the other-talk about being conflicted they were really funny but you know you shouldn't be laughing at them and most of the audience were siting in stunned silence with the protestants trying their best not to laugh-you could see then thinking Oh no we're trying to stop this kind of stuff. This was an area where orange marches are a regular feature. Then the catholic priest stood up and replied in kind. It's one of the funniest nights entertainment I have ever had, it was a set up to get people laughing and talking about their differences.

None of the english posters here will take anything I have said as being aimed at them personally, because they know it's not and because what a complete stranger thinks just doesn't matter. If I refer to spot being welsh and include a reference to sheep he won't take it personally and will probably retaliate in kind.

Depends on the context of course but on a political thread if someone criticises US foreign policy It's hardly likely to be just simple anti-Americanism-if you can't defend your own country's foreign policy maybe you should question it, and if it's something you didn't know was done in your name-check it out. If you want to criticise british politics, by all means do so-we might even agree with you-if not it won't be taken personally. After the abuse heaped on us over the release of the lockerbie bomber do you see any of the scots posters assuming you hate all scotsmen? Mind you as another two scots soldier get buried this week and we see american calling for a boycott of all scottish products because we didn't do as the americans wanted perhaps we have real cause.

When I read tosser I think fkwad. Conceited dandies? Egotistical pr1cks.

tosser =wanker-it's just a politer version. It is now the official title of the british prime minister, there's even song about it.

YouTube - Gordon Brown: I'm A Wanker

Only the english would make up a song about something like that.:sneaky:

posted by ian

This is just the ignorance of Man I'm afraid, very divisive, it's like one leaf of a Tree disliking another from the same Tree just because it's on the west side, we concentrate to much on our differences rather than our similarities but like a Lion we show our true nature is a battle showing teeth of both primal seed and the spiritual soul seed.

Everything is duality

All life is a joke we just don't understand the punchline.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 2:17 am

I thought Fat Bastard was very very sexy.. pant pant pant. But I 've always had a very soft spot for Scottish laddies with attitood and lots of dangly thingies...

Attached files

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 2:55 am

AussiePam;1242339 wrote: I thought Fat Bastard was very very sexy.. pant pant pant. But I 've always had a very soft spot for Scottish laddies with attitood and lots of dangly thingies...

It's a very hard image to live up to.:yh_sad My wife has threatened to divorce me if I succeed and she's banned me from eating fried mars bars

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 7:16 am

gmc;1242343 wrote: It's a very hard image to live up to.:yh_sad My wife has threatened to divorce me if I succeed and she's banned me from eating fried mars bars yeah but you eat everything else :sneaky:

almostfamous · Post by **almostfamous** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 7:33 am

gmc;1242337 wrote: How can you be silenced on a written forum? No, generally some americans seem to find personal insult when none is actually intended. If it is intended then by all means retaliate, I would suggest, preferably, by being humourous, or just ignore it. It's almost impossible to talk about politics without criticising another country's foreign policy or government how on earth that can be taken as a personal insult is beyond me.

Depends on the context of course but on a political thread if someone criticises US foreign policy It's hardly likely to be just simple anti-Americanism-if you can't defend your own country's foreign policy maybe you should question it, and if it's something you didn't know was done in your name-check it out. If you want to criticise british politics, by all means do so-we might even agree with you-if not it won't be taken personally. After the abuse heaped on us over the release of the lockerbie bomber do you see any of the scots posters assuming you hate all scotsmen? Mind you as another two scots soldier get buried this week and we see american calling for a boycott of all scottish products because we didn't do as the americans wanted perhaps we have real cause.

tosser =wanker-it's just a politer version. It is now the official title of the british prime minister, there's even song about it.

"How can you be silenced on a written forum?" I'm assuming this was a rhetorical question as well as another pun.

And, not sure where I ever said that I took offense to anyone referring to our foreign policy or even our government for that matter

I don't pretend to know all the inner workings of either and don't attempt to debate them as a result.

You said Anti-Americanism... I paralleled that with American people... which is the instance in which I feel taking offense was more than warranted in a recent thread.

When I think wanker, I think fkwad... Still lost in translation but acceptable use of slang as ours is not.

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 11:01 am

almostfamous;1242416 wrote: "How can you be silenced on a written forum?" I'm assuming this was a rhetorical question as well as another pun.

And, not sure where I ever said that I took offense to anyone referring to our foreign policy or even our government for that matter

I don't pretend to know all the inner workings of either and don't attempt to debate them as a result.

You said Anti-Americanism... I paralleled that with American people... which is the instance in which I feel taking offense was more than warranted in a recent thread.

When I think wanker, I think fkwad... Still lost in translation but acceptable use of slang as ours is not.

It was a feeble attempt at humour-much like this thread. I don't know which thread you are on about I tend to just bother mostly with the political ones cos i like a good discussion with people I don't agree with. I've occasionally found myself accused of being anti american for no real reason I can understand-one extreme was one poster who kept accusing me of being anti-american for no reason I could work out. She finally told me I didn't capitalise the word American and that meant I was anti-american. that I hadn't for everyone else didn't seem to register. Luckily most americans seem to be a bit more rational.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 11:50 am

gmc;1242509 wrote: It was a feeble attempt at humour-much like this thread. I don't know which thread you are on about I tend to just bother mostly with the political ones cos i like a good discussion with people I don't agree with. I've occasionally found myself accused of being anti american for no real reason I can understand-one extreme was one poster who kept accusing me of being anti-american for no reason I could work out. She finally told me I didn't capitalise the word American and that meant I was anti-american. that I hadn't for everyone else didn't seem to register. Luckily most americans seem to be a bit more rational.
Your anti GB... you never have the curtesy to use capital letters when refering to his sexniness.

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 11:58 am

oscar;1242522 wrote: Your anti GB... you never have the curtesy to use capital letters when refering to his sexniness.

Anybody with half a brain cell is anti gb

Chookie · Post by **Chookie** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 1:17 pm

gmc;1242526 wrote: Anybody with half a brain cell is anti gb
Oh, so true.

On the other hand there are those who believe in Gordon the Glaikit Gopher...........

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 1:25 pm

gmc;1242526 wrote: Anybody with half a brain cell is anti gb

That is exactly right. You only have half a brain cell. I however, have a full brain of brain cells.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 5:44 pm

Ian;1242422 wrote: YouTube - Let's Call The Whole Thing Off (Shall We Dance)

:wah: I hear ya, Ian.

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 9:15 am

oscar;1242596 wrote: That is exactly right. You only have half a brain cell. I however, have a full brain of brain cells.

:yh_rotfl

They need to be capable of joined up thinking though

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 9:18 am

gmc;1242931 wrote: :yh_rotfl

They need to be capable of joined up thinking though At least my brain cells do not join up to believe that Scotworld will achieve Independence or the SNP will be victorious in the Election. :p