Make me laugh........

princessladedah · Post by **princessladedah** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:42 pm

This thread is ment to be funny not offensive!

Post a joke so we can all laugh at the end of the day-

"What do you do when you see your husband staggering"?

"SHOOT HIM AGAIN"

princessladedah · Post by **princessladedah** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:43 pm

I posted that and I am still laughing!!!:yh_rotfl

Some how Nomad comes to mind

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:43 pm

princessladedah;1228970 wrote: This thread is ment to be funny not offensive!

Post a joke so we can all laugh at the end of the day-

"What do you do when you see your husband staggering"?

"SHOOT HIM AGAIN"

I love it!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:45 pm

read a book on helium once. I couldn't put it down! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

princessladedah · Post by **princessladedah** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:45 pm

Hey you have to leave a joke

princessladedah · Post by **princessladedah** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:46 pm

I like that, it's alittle over my head:yh_rotfl

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:49 pm

princessladedah;1228978 wrote: I like that, it's alittle over my head:yh_rotfl

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:50 pm

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead p u s s y.

The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

almostfamous · Post by **almostfamous** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:55 pm

A young guy walks into a post office and sees a middle–aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and sprays scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the best of him, the young guy goes up to the man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending out a thousand Valentine cards signed, “Guess who?

“But why? Asked the young guy.

“I’m a divorce lawyer, the bald man replied.

almostfamous · Post by **almostfamous** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:56 pm

Two atoms were walking down the street. One atom says to the other one, "I've lost an electron! The 2nd atom replies, "Are you sure?" Says the 1st atom, "I'm positive."

almostfamous · Post by **almostfamous** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:59 pm

Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.

He went to the doctorand the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again."

To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will five times!"

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 8:08 pm

almostfamous;1228983 wrote: A young guy walks into a post office and sees a middle–aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and sprays scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the best of him, the young guy goes up to the man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending out a thousand Valentine cards signed, “Guess who?

“But why? Asked the young guy.

“I’m a divorce lawyer, the bald man replied.

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 3:32 am

Odie;1228976 wrote: read a book on helium once. I couldn't put it down! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

I worked for a helium factory once, but I quit, I didn’t like the tone of their voice..

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 4:03 am

Two Helium atoms were walking on a sunny day.

Then suddenly.......

First atom : Hey! I just lost an electron....

Second atom: Are you sure?

First atom: I am Positive!!

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:03 am

almostfamous;1228985 wrote: Two atoms were walking down the street. One atom says to the other one, "I've lost an electron! The 2nd atom replies, "Are you sure?" Says the 1st atom, "I'm positive."

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:04 am

mikeinie;1229042 wrote: I worked for a helium factory once, but I quit, I didn’t like the tone of their voice..

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 2:22 pm

Originally Posted by almostfamous

Two atoms were walking down the street. One atom says to the other one, "I've lost an electron! The 2nd atom replies, "Are you sure?" Says the 1st atom, "I'm positive."

Odie;1229238 wrote: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

This is odd Odie..... It was me who posted that joke and it says that AF posted it. This is happening in quite a few posts.....mixed up quotes...Betty Boop was talking about this in another thread....Wonder why it's happening

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 3:12 pm

I think they put Nomad in charge again, Kathy.

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

"Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post.

He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 3:15 pm

There was a boy who worked in the produce section of a super market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, only half. The boy explained that he would have to ask the manager and so he walked into the back room and said, "There is some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he finished saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he quickly added, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half." The manager okayed the request and the man went on his way. Later on the manager said to the boy, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from, son?" The boy replied, "Minnesota, sir." "Oh, really? Why did you leave Minnesota?" inquired the manager. The boy replied, "They're all just whores and hockey players up there." "My wife is from Minnesota", exclaimed the manager. The boy instantly replied, "Really! What team did she play for?"

almostfamous · Post by **almostfamous** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 4:34 pm

Kathy Ellen;1229312 wrote: Originally Posted by almostfamous

Two atoms were walking down the street. One atom says to the other one, "I've lost an electron! The 2nd atom replies, "Are you sure?" Says the 1st atom, "I'm positive."

This is odd Odie..... It was me who posted that joke and it says that AF posted it. This is happening in quite a few posts.....mixed up quotes...Betty Boop was talking about this in another thread....Wonder why it's happening

I did post it lol. You posted it too. look at post #10

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 5:02 pm

almostfamous;1229376 wrote: I did post it lol. You posted it too. look at post #10

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Thanks AF....I didn't read back and notice that you already posted it....sorry

wah:

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 5:07 pm

Kathy Ellen;1229070 wrote: Two Helium atoms were walking on a sunny day.

Then suddenly.......

First atom : Hey! I just lost an electron....

Second atom: Are you sure?

First atom: I am Positive!!

didn't I just read this one?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

princessladedah · Post by **princessladedah** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 5:11 pm

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his whopper:yh_rotfl

almostfamous · Post by **almostfamous** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 5:25 pm

Kathy Ellen;1229382 wrote: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Thanks AF....I didn't read back and notice that you already posted it....sorry

wah:

no worries, just didn't want you to think you were losin it

:D

princessladedah;1229387 wrote: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his whopper:yh_rotfl

:wah:

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 6:27 pm

princessladedah;1229387 wrote: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his whopper:yh_rotfl

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

princessladedah · Post by **princessladedah** » Thu Aug 13, 2009 3:21 pm

keep it going people

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Thu Aug 13, 2009 3:30 pm

here's something cute and funny

YouTube - Charlie bit my finger - again !

cigar898 · Post by **cigar898** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 4:35 pm

I like Monkeys

cigar898 · Post by **cigar898** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 4:38 pm

Okay okay okay.......a joke........

A husband and wife attend a small service at the local church one Sunday morning. The man was very moved by the preacher's sermon, so he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. Reverend, that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!"

The Reverend replied, "Oh! Why, thank you sir, but please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use profanity in the Lord's house."

"I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself... it was such a damn good sermon!"

The Reverend replied, "Sir, please, I cannot have you behaving this way in Church!"

"Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that I thought it was so damn good, that I put $5,000 in the collection plate."

The Reverend's eyes opened wide as he remarked, "No $hit!"

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 4:47 pm

cigar898;1230238 wrote: Okay okay okay.......a joke........

A husband and wife attend a small service at the local church one Sunday morning. The man was very moved by the preacher's sermon, so he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. Reverend, that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!"

The Reverend replied, "Oh! Why, thank you sir, but please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use profanity in the Lord's house."

"I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself... it was such a damn good sermon!"

The Reverend replied, "Sir, please, I cannot have you behaving this way in Church!"

"Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that I thought it was so damn good, that I put $5,000 in the collection plate."

The Reverend's eyes opened wide as he remarked, "No $hit!"

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl