Why Do Some Women Do It?

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 3:44 pm

What possesses some women to carry on correspondence, develop a relationship and then marry a guy that is serving hard time in prison for hard crimes he committed?

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 3:50 pm

Lon;1201427 wrote: What possesses some women to carry on correspondence, develop a relationship and then marry a guy that is serving hard time in prison for hard crimes he committed?

oiy I wish I knew. Maybe they feel the deep need to nurture some fallen soul???

Chockygirl · Post by **Chockygirl** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:01 pm

Lon;1201427 wrote: What possesses some women to carry on correspondence, develop a relationship and then marry a guy that is serving hard time in prison for hard crimes he committed?

I can never understand how that can happen,but possibly,as Minks has suggested, the woman feels that she can 'save' him and make his life better than it's been.

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:10 pm

Chockygirl;1201431 wrote:

I can never understand how that can happen,but possibly,as Minks has suggested, the woman feels that she can 'save' him and make his life better than it's been.

i thought divorce did that :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:32 pm

farmer giles;1201432 wrote: i thought divorce did that :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Me too.:yh_rotfl

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 5:06 pm

Lon;1201427 wrote: What possesses some women to carry on correspondence, develop a relationship and then marry a guy that is serving hard time in prison for hard crimes he committed?
That is something I have always wondered about and never understood.

farmer giles;1201432 wrote: i thought divorce did that :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 8:06 pm

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl I think your right there. :wah:

[QUOTE]i thought divorce did that :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Lon it has always been a mystery to me as well I just don't get it at all. Is it that "what you can't have you want" thing, or the bad boy killer attraction. :-5:-5

Chockygirl · Post by **Chockygirl** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 9:37 pm

farmer giles;1201432 wrote: i thought divorce did that :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Post by **Sunshine** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:06 pm

Lon;1201427 wrote: What possesses some women to carry on correspondence, develop a relationship and then marry a guy that is serving hard time in prison for hard crimes he committed?

Possibly a lack of competion. No other woman looking to steal her man. He sure isn't going to go anywhere and find another gal. The male is looking for someone to come home to and will promise anything to have that to look forword too. Just a few thoughts on the subject.

I know I sure wouldn't do it!

Victoria · Post by **Victoria** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:51 pm

I cant get to grips with this either, we regularly have ads in the paper here asking for english speakers/writers to write to lifers in the US..

Maybe there are a few do gooders who believe that their influence can change a guy and maybe some feel that in this way they can become the most important woman in a mans life. I dont really know.

Either way its not something I would consider doing.

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 3:38 am

There is nowhere for the poor guy to run to¦

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 3:44 am

Excellent question.

I would agree with what has been said so far and will throw a couple of other idea's into the pot.

Lonely, not very attractive woman with a dull life gets some excitement from the attention.

Lots of women like bad boys, element of danger.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 5:33 am

Lon;1201427 wrote: What possesses some women to carry on correspondence, develop a relationship and then marry a guy that is serving hard time in prison for hard crimes he committed?

Why ask why ?

Were all neurotic.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 2:14 pm

Nomad;1201513 wrote: Why ask why ?

Were all neurotic.

:wah: Speak for yourself, Nomie.

These women don't realize that many of these prisoners will say ANYTHING to get what they want. They have nothing to lose. Many of them are excellent con-men. What they say can be very flattering to a lonely woman.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:28 pm

Low self esteem.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 6:37 pm

yes I was going to say that, many women like the "bad boy" guy... but a prisoner eeek.

Hey Weeder how nice to see you.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Wed Jun 10, 2009 2:10 am

You too. I often think of you.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Wed Jun 10, 2009 3:54 am

I don't believe that a mentally, healthy woman who had self-respect and high self-esteem would would search for friendship/romance with a prisoner who is a stranger to her.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:14 am

Some may have been in prison themselves, some may just want to brighten someone's day.

Some women choose to write to soldiers they dont know.

On the flip side - Why do men write to female prisoners, is it for the same reasons women do it?

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Jun 10, 2009 7:29 am

Look at the bright side.

These women may only have to have a "conjugal" visit once or twice a month. They don't have to cook, clean or wash his underwear. Not much chance of getting beaten or cheated on. Hmm, I might think about writing a she crook. Just think , no nagging, always happy to see me even if I have been out to a strip bar all night. Never cares how much I drink. Wow I think I'm onto something.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Jun 10, 2009 7:43 am

YZGI;1201819 wrote: Look at the bright side.

These women may only have to have a "conjugal" visit once or twice a month. They don't have to cook, clean or wash his underwear. Not much chance of getting beaten or cheated on. Hmm, I might think about writing a she crook. Just think , no nagging, always happy to see me even if I have been out to a strip bar all night. Never cares how much I drink. Wow I think I'm onto something.

:-5 oh brother

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Jun 10, 2009 7:45 am

minks;1201831 wrote: :-5 oh brother
I knew you would understand..

:D

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Jun 10, 2009 7:45 am

minks;1201831 wrote: :-5 oh brother
I forgot to mention, I would always know which week not to visit.:yh_rotfl

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Wed Jun 10, 2009 8:11 am

I dont think our prisoners get sex visits in the U.K. Prison dont seem to bad where you are Yzgi.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Jun 10, 2009 8:22 am

buttercup;1201841 wrote: I dont think our prisoners get sex visits in the U.K. Prison dont seem to bad where you are Yzgi.
You're right, they don't seem to.

Thursday, 29 June, 2000, 20:07 GMT 21:07 UK Sex on sentence

Locked up: English prisoners are denied conjugal visits outright

Prison inmate Gavin Mellor is taking the government to court in a bid to start a family.

Laywers for the convicted murderer, who has at least another seven years left to serve in jail, are challenging a Home Office decision refusing his wife access to artificial insemination.

The High Court says it will take several weeks to decide the case, which is the first of its kind in front of the English courts.

Gavin Mellor's lawyers took the government to court

Mellor has opted for artificial insemination because, as for all prisoners in England and Wales, there is no right to conjugal visits.

Although the government is opposed to granting Mellor's wish, many other countries see "family visits" - as they are also known - as a basic right for prisoners.

Research by the International Centre for Prison Studies, at Kings College, London, found the following.

Canada: Eligible prisoners can have family visits lasting up to 72 hours every three months. Maximum security prisons have a 48-hour limit. Visits are granted to homosexuals, as well as heterosexuals, and common law partners who could prove they had an established relationship.

The visits take place in apartments designed to resemble family homes, within prison walls. Some are furnished with fitted bathrooms, and have gardens and barbecues.

Spain: Prisoners are allowed conjugal visits every four to eight weeks. They are held in private rooms and can last up to three hours. Couples are provided with condoms, shower facilities and clean towels.

Single beds only in this prison

Conjugal visits are allowed for spouses if both are held in the same institution, but these last for only 20 minutes.

Belgium: Inmates in open prisons are allowed a three-night home stay every three months. Conjugal visits are only permitted to high security prisoners if their spouse is an inmate as well.

Russia: Prisoners are allowed two 72-hour visits per year. They are excluded from work during this time if they have worked additional hours beforehand or afterwards.

The visits take place in small suites of flats, within the prison walls. There is minimal supervision and visitors are allowed to bring food and civilian clothing.

France: Visits last up to 72 hours and take place in mini-apartments consisting of two small rooms, a kitchen and a dining area.

Zimbabwe: In 1998 officials considered introducing conjugal visits in an effort to curb the spread of HIV/Aids in prisons.

Brazil: While visits are generally freely granted to male prisoners, many states go against the idea for female inmates. Those that do allow them for women, often insists on extremely tight regulations.

Visits are also accorded to single men and women and to homosexual men.

Pressure on in UK

In the UK pressure exists to grant family visits and there is speculation that the law will face a serious challenge following the enactment of the Human Rights Act in October. But a spokesperson for the Howard League for Penal Reform said the idea was "not particularly helpful". She said: "Rather than having a wife or girlfriend come for the explicit purpose of having sex what you need is family days, in which sex can be a part. What's important is to preserve family ties during a prison term."

I thought the UK was way ahead of the rest of the world in humane treatment. Hmmm

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Wed Jun 10, 2009 11:45 am

Maybe these words.. Prison, Prisoner, Incarcerated, all represent what a relationship is... to these women.

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Wed Jun 10, 2009 11:54 am

weeder;1201950 wrote: Maybe these words.. Prison, Prisoner, Incarcerated, all represent what a relationship is... to these women.

dont forget the added torture of the convict having to be nagged every few weeks ...if you cant do the crime :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl