Maria had just gotten married, and being a traditional Italian she was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house,
she was very nervous.
Her mother reassured her;
'Don't worry, Maria, Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you.
Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta.'
So, up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says,
'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.'
'Don't worry, Maria,' says the mother, 'all good men have hairy chests..Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.'
So, up she went again.. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. 'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!'
'Don't worry! All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.'
So, up she went again. When she got there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes.
When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!'
Her Mama said, 'Stay here and stir the pasta.'
Italian virgin
Italian virgin
A witch will get a better grip on the broom if she is without panties!
Italian virgin
:wah: Bad Mama!
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along-for-the-ride
- Posts: 11732
- Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:28 pm
Italian virgin
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
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kayleneaussie
- Posts: 9127
- Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 3:11 am
Italian virgin
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Great punch line fisher..........Thanx
Three sisters wedding
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home.
Later that night, their mother couldn't sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter's bedroom and heard her screaming. The mother thought to herself, "That's normal, especially on her wedding night." She snuck by her second oldest daughter's room and heard her laughing. "That's normal too," she said, smiling to herself. Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter's room where she didn't hear a sound, but she thought nothing of it.
The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night's noises. "Well Mom," she replied, "you always said if it hurt I should scream." "You're absolutely right sweetheart," the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter.
"Now why were you laughing?" she asked. "You always said if it tickled, I could laugh," she answered. "True enough, honey." The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days.
"Now it's your turn, baby," she said turning to her youngest daughter. "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?" "Mom, don't you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full
Three sisters wedding
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home.
Later that night, their mother couldn't sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter's bedroom and heard her screaming. The mother thought to herself, "That's normal, especially on her wedding night." She snuck by her second oldest daughter's room and heard her laughing. "That's normal too," she said, smiling to herself. Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter's room where she didn't hear a sound, but she thought nothing of it.
The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night's noises. "Well Mom," she replied, "you always said if it hurt I should scream." "You're absolutely right sweetheart," the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter.
"Now why were you laughing?" she asked. "You always said if it tickled, I could laugh," she answered. "True enough, honey." The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days.
"Now it's your turn, baby," she said turning to her youngest daughter. "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?" "Mom, don't you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full
"If America Was A Tree, The Left Would Root For The Termites...Greg Gutfeld."
Italian virgin
Good one BTS:wah::wah:
Heres another....
The Penis Procedure
A couple were watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African "bush tribe" whose men all had penises 24 inches long.
When the black male reaches a certain age,a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight.Over a period of time, the weight stretches the penis to 24 inches.
Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked at him and said,'How about we try the African string-and-weight procedure?'
The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis.
A few days later, the wife asked the husband, 'How is our little "tribal experiment" coming along?'
'Well, it looks like we're about half way there,' he replied.
'Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?'
'No, it's turned black.'
__________________
Heres another....
The Penis Procedure
A couple were watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African "bush tribe" whose men all had penises 24 inches long.
When the black male reaches a certain age,a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight.Over a period of time, the weight stretches the penis to 24 inches.
Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked at him and said,'How about we try the African string-and-weight procedure?'
The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis.
A few days later, the wife asked the husband, 'How is our little "tribal experiment" coming along?'
'Well, it looks like we're about half way there,' he replied.
'Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?'
'No, it's turned black.'
__________________
A witch will get a better grip on the broom if she is without panties!
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Omni_Skittles
- Posts: 2613
- Joined: Sun Apr 02, 2006 2:10 am
Italian virgin
OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!
One more on the same line......
An alien couple and a human couple - partner swapping.
The human wife and the alien husband went off together and ended up at a hotel. The alien guy drops his pants, and he is really ready...all 2 inches of him. "I don't think that this will work out, you're just too small." says the woman. "Well," the alien says, "Watch this." He proceeds to smack himself in the forehead and his member grows to 12 inches. "That's fine," she tells him, "but it's still only a half an inch thick." So the alien starts tugging on his ears and with each tug his member grows wider and wider until the woman just can't stand it any more and they have a fun-filled night of sex. Afterwards she said to her husband "I had the best sex I've ever had. It was amazing." "What about you?" "It was wierd", her husband answered. "All night long she kept hitting me on the head and tugging on my ears!"
One more on the same line......
An alien couple and a human couple - partner swapping.
The human wife and the alien husband went off together and ended up at a hotel. The alien guy drops his pants, and he is really ready...all 2 inches of him. "I don't think that this will work out, you're just too small." says the woman. "Well," the alien says, "Watch this." He proceeds to smack himself in the forehead and his member grows to 12 inches. "That's fine," she tells him, "but it's still only a half an inch thick." So the alien starts tugging on his ears and with each tug his member grows wider and wider until the woman just can't stand it any more and they have a fun-filled night of sex. Afterwards she said to her husband "I had the best sex I've ever had. It was amazing." "What about you?" "It was wierd", her husband answered. "All night long she kept hitting me on the head and tugging on my ears!"
"If America Was A Tree, The Left Would Root For The Termites...Greg Gutfeld."
Italian virgin
fisher;1173192 wrote: Good one BTS:wah::wah:
Heres another....
The Penis Procedure
A couple were watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African "bush tribe" whose men all had penises 24 inches long.
When the black male reaches a certain age,a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight.Over a period of time, the weight stretches the penis to 24 inches.
Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked at him and said,'How about we try the African string-and-weight procedure?'
The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis.
A few days later, the wife asked the husband, 'How is our little "tribal experiment" coming along?'
'Well, it looks like we're about half way there,' he replied.
'Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?'
'No, it's turned black.'
__________________
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:sneaky:
Heres another....
The Penis Procedure
A couple were watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African "bush tribe" whose men all had penises 24 inches long.
When the black male reaches a certain age,a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight.Over a period of time, the weight stretches the penis to 24 inches.
Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked at him and said,'How about we try the African string-and-weight procedure?'
The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis.
A few days later, the wife asked the husband, 'How is our little "tribal experiment" coming along?'
'Well, it looks like we're about half way there,' he replied.
'Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?'
'No, it's turned black.'
__________________
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:sneaky: