A married man left work early one Friday, but instead of going home, he spent the weekend partying with the boys.
When he finally returned home on Sunday night, his wife really got on his case and stayed on it.
After a few of hours of swearing and screaming, his wife paused and pointed at him and made him an offer. 'How would you like it if you didn't see me for a couple of days?'.....
The husband couldn't believe his luck, so he looked up, smiled and said, 'That would suit me just fine!!'
Monday went by, and the man didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday went by and he still didn't see her.
Come Thursday, the swelling had gone down a bit and he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.:yh_rotfl
Married Life......
Married Life......
:wah:
Married Life......
I have all my life felt it sad that husband/wife jokes like this exist. It is one of the main reasons why I was put off marriage in the first place.
OK. Carry on folks.:-6
OK. Carry on folks.:-6
Married Life......
Jester;1148052 wrote: :wah:
My wife got so mad at me once that she stood and beat on my chest with the heels of both her fists. She was an emotional wreck after Number 2 poped out- I was all over the place in one of those ants in my pants- keep movin and groovin- I gotta have somethin to do moods when she asked me to go take care of the evening dishes- :yh_rotfl
Thinkin I was smart- I said 'that ther's wimmenfolk werk, make that there new kid do it' I was kiddin- but she got up and straigtened me out real good!
When she was done tellin me what fer, them dishes were done and the kitchen was cleaned, and the stove, and the oven too, and before mornin so was the bathroom, the shower/tub, and her car to boot! :-3
Is that where I went wrong then?:yh_rotfl
My wife got so mad at me once that she stood and beat on my chest with the heels of both her fists. She was an emotional wreck after Number 2 poped out- I was all over the place in one of those ants in my pants- keep movin and groovin- I gotta have somethin to do moods when she asked me to go take care of the evening dishes- :yh_rotfl
Thinkin I was smart- I said 'that ther's wimmenfolk werk, make that there new kid do it' I was kiddin- but she got up and straigtened me out real good!
When she was done tellin me what fer, them dishes were done and the kitchen was cleaned, and the stove, and the oven too, and before mornin so was the bathroom, the shower/tub, and her car to boot! :-3
Is that where I went wrong then?:yh_rotfl
Married Life......
Jester;1148071 wrote: Nah, way earlier than that she told me if I volunteered to go fight again she'd leave me. I told her thats who she married and she knew what she was getting into when she married me. I told her I loved her and if she left me I'd just hunt her down when I got home and kill anyone she was with, then I smiled real big.
Before I left the next time she told me she'd 'be with my mother' and then she smiled real big... :yh_rotfl
She's a keeper my wife!
Of course we've had our ups and downs, I'm a rough guy to live with but I love her and she loves me and we belong together for better or worse and I say its been fantastic all these years.
I do have to say that though, she advanced in weaponry from heels of her fists to the fry pan and them frypans hurt! :yh_rotfl
Frypans is love.
Knives is not love.
:D
Before I left the next time she told me she'd 'be with my mother' and then she smiled real big... :yh_rotfl
She's a keeper my wife!
Of course we've had our ups and downs, I'm a rough guy to live with but I love her and she loves me and we belong together for better or worse and I say its been fantastic all these years.
I do have to say that though, she advanced in weaponry from heels of her fists to the fry pan and them frypans hurt! :yh_rotfl
Frypans is love.
Knives is not love.
:D