An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical examination.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:
"Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. .Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
We even called up Arleen , the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep. None of us could get the jar open!"
It Sucks to Get Old
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Touchstone
- Posts: 182
- Joined: Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:53 pm
It Sucks to Get Old
I don't want to press "1" for English. This is America!
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American GI. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.
"History teaches that when you become indifferent and lose the will to fight someone who has the will to fight will take over." COLONEL BULL SIMONS
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American GI. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.
"History teaches that when you become indifferent and lose the will to fight someone who has the will to fight will take over." COLONEL BULL SIMONS
It Sucks to Get Old
its a cracker
"To be foolish and to recognize that one is foolish, is better than to be foolish and imagine that one is wise."
It Sucks to Get Old
:wah:
It Sucks to Get Old
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
It Sucks to Get Old
classic:wah::wah::wah:
It Sucks to Get Old
:wah::wah: Cute.
ALOHA!!
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"