Ronnie Barker Jokes
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 1:16 pm
Ronnie Barker
Ronnie Barker was one of the five funniest men of the 20th century. Not only was Ronnie Barker a superb actor, but also he was a great writer of jokes and gags.
Born 25th September 1929
Died 4th October 2005 aged 76
It is interesting to note how the Two Ronnies show came about. Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett co-presented the BAFTAS awards. All of a sudden a technical glitch struck. No worries the pair of Ronnies ad-libed so well that the were offered their own show.
Ronnie Corbett: Do you think marriage is a lottery?
Ronnie Barker: No. With a lottery you do have a slight chance.
"A strange thing happened during a performance of Elgar's Sea Pictures at a concert hall in Bermuda tonight. The man playing the triangle disappeared."
"The search for the man who terrorises nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on. Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow."
"The man who invented the zip fastener was today honoured with a lifetime peerage. He will now be known as the Lord of the Flies."
"The prime minister held a meeting with the cabinet today. He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the chest of drawers."
In a packed programme tonight we will be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet."
Ronnie Barker was one of the five funniest men of the 20th century. Not only was Ronnie Barker a superb actor, but also he was a great writer of jokes and gags.
Born 25th September 1929
Died 4th October 2005 aged 76
It is interesting to note how the Two Ronnies show came about. Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett co-presented the BAFTAS awards. All of a sudden a technical glitch struck. No worries the pair of Ronnies ad-libed so well that the were offered their own show.
Ronnie Corbett: Do you think marriage is a lottery?
Ronnie Barker: No. With a lottery you do have a slight chance.
"A strange thing happened during a performance of Elgar's Sea Pictures at a concert hall in Bermuda tonight. The man playing the triangle disappeared."
"The search for the man who terrorises nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on. Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow."
"The man who invented the zip fastener was today honoured with a lifetime peerage. He will now be known as the Lord of the Flies."
"The prime minister held a meeting with the cabinet today. He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the chest of drawers."
In a packed programme tonight we will be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet."
