a son's note to his father
Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 3:38 pm
>A FATHER PASSING BY HIS SON'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE THE
BED WAS
>NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP.
>
>THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON THE CENTER OF
THE BED. IT
>WAS ADDRESSED, "DAD". WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, HE OPENED THE
ENVELOPE
>AND READ THE LETTER WITH TREMBLING HANDS:
>
>DEAR DAD,
>
>IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M WRITING THIS. I HAD
TO ELOPE
>WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH
MOM AND YOU.
>
>I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND SHE IS SO NICE
EVEN WITH
>ALL HER PIERCING, TATTOOS, AND HER TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES.
BUT IT'S NOT
>ONLY THE PASSION DAD, SHE'S PREGNANT AND BARBARA SAID THAT WE
WILL BE VERY
>HAPPY. EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T CARE FOR HER AS SHE IS SO MUCH
OLDER THAN ME.
>
>SHE ALREADY OWNS A! TRAILER IN THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK OF
FIREWOOD FOR
>THE WHOLE WINTER. SHE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME
AND THAT'S
>NOW ONE OF MY DREAMS TOO. BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA
DOESN'T REALLY
>HURT ANYONE AND WE'LL BE GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND TRADING
IT WITH HER
>FRIENDS FOR THE COCAINE AND ECSTASY WE WANT.
>
>IN THE MEANTIME, WE'LL PRAY THAT SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE FOR
AIDS SO
>BARBARA CAN GET BETTER; SHE SURE DESERVES IT!!
>
>DON'T WORRY DAD, I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW TO TAKE
CARE OF
>MYSELF. SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT SO YOU CAN GET
TO KNOW YOUR
>GRANDCHILDREN
>
>YOUR SON, JOHN
>
>
>P.S. DAD, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT THE NEIGHBOR'S
HOUSE. I JUST
>WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN
MY REPORT
>CARD THAT'S IN MY CENTER DESK DRAWER.
>
>I LOVE YOU. CALL WHEN IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME.
BED WAS
>NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP.
>
>THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON THE CENTER OF
THE BED. IT
>WAS ADDRESSED, "DAD". WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, HE OPENED THE
ENVELOPE
>AND READ THE LETTER WITH TREMBLING HANDS:
>
>DEAR DAD,
>
>IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M WRITING THIS. I HAD
TO ELOPE
>WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH
MOM AND YOU.
>
>I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND SHE IS SO NICE
EVEN WITH
>ALL HER PIERCING, TATTOOS, AND HER TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES.
BUT IT'S NOT
>ONLY THE PASSION DAD, SHE'S PREGNANT AND BARBARA SAID THAT WE
WILL BE VERY
>HAPPY. EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T CARE FOR HER AS SHE IS SO MUCH
OLDER THAN ME.
>
>SHE ALREADY OWNS A! TRAILER IN THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK OF
FIREWOOD FOR
>THE WHOLE WINTER. SHE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME
AND THAT'S
>NOW ONE OF MY DREAMS TOO. BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA
DOESN'T REALLY
>HURT ANYONE AND WE'LL BE GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND TRADING
IT WITH HER
>FRIENDS FOR THE COCAINE AND ECSTASY WE WANT.
>
>IN THE MEANTIME, WE'LL PRAY THAT SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE FOR
AIDS SO
>BARBARA CAN GET BETTER; SHE SURE DESERVES IT!!
>
>DON'T WORRY DAD, I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW TO TAKE
CARE OF
>MYSELF. SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT SO YOU CAN GET
TO KNOW YOUR
>GRANDCHILDREN
>
>YOUR SON, JOHN
>
>
>P.S. DAD, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT THE NEIGHBOR'S
HOUSE. I JUST
>WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN
MY REPORT
>CARD THAT'S IN MY CENTER DESK DRAWER.
>
>I LOVE YOU. CALL WHEN IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME.
