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Hi all. I just have a few queations for those of you who may have had long term seperations from your spouse/significant other. My husband is in iraq, he has been there for about two weeks and it is killing me. I can not even sleep in my own bed. (yes i do have a body pillow) I am not sleeping very much and i am severly depressed. Even when i talk to him i can not talk about how much i miss him or i start to bawl un controllibly. I did not get out of bed untill 5pm today. I just could not bring myself to get up. Do you have any advice. I am anti depression medication and do not like the idea of medicating the problem away.

Any advice is appreciated.

oh yeah dont tell my mom LOL

I really have no advice, my husband used to be away for months at a time, but I had three children to raise while he was gone.

Do you live near other army wives that you can get together with. I really feel for you and am sorry that your in the situation you are, and you also have the added worry of him being in Iraq. The anti depressants could help you get through the initial stages of seperation and just because your taking them now doesn't mean you will always have to take them, so try to relax a little about that.

Maybe you could invite friends over to visit you, planning something will take your mind of your situation a little :yh_coffee :yh_hugs

TG, i know it's not the same scenario, but my man lives 4500 miles away in England. and some days and nights i want to see him so badly it's a physical gut-wrenching thing. i am fortunate in that we can talk every day. one thing that helps is to think of the places we've been, things we've done, maybe drive by 'our' spots, and definately look at photos and read letters. another thing, i like to go into bookshops and pick out books for him i know he'll like. when he was here recently we had to go to the shipping co. to send all his books back to England! the little things make you feel close. it's hard i know, all you can do is think of that time you'll be together for good.

Get to the chaplain - today. Army chaplains are trained counselors. You can vent in complete confidence so long as you haven't broken a law. If you've broken a law make sure the chaplain's a catholic priest . The chaplain should be able to turn you onto the army spouses groups in the area. This is a time the army family proves its value, T-Girl. Use it.



(Just in case you are that "type", take the time you would were going to use to tell me how uncomfortable you are with strangers, and instead, read your first post and think of a better alternative. It'll save us both time. :p )



Oh yeh, and call your mom. That usually helps some.

Air Hugs.........more Air Hugs. :-4

Darlin', the trick is to stay busy. You have to wear yourself out. And it really does get a bit easier. (Don't go hoping for too much - I said a bit easier.) Avoid sappy music that makes you cry. Go get some serious bubble bath and use it before bedtime with a class of wine (or something a bit stronger, if you prefer.).

I wear his t-shirts to bed every night and have a hand towel in the closet that he used to wipe his hands the last time he put cologne on at home. Yes, the smell is gone now, but a little bit on it when I am feeling real low makes me feel better.

I lost 10 pounds when DH left and I still don't eat like I should. Zoloft is my friend, it just takes the edge off and helps me handle the kids a bit better.

I don't know what kind of hobbies you have, but I do a little bit of scrap booking so that I can keep a record of the important things the kids do while he is gone. I got some smaller pages and every once in a while I do a little something to send him with a picture of the kids, the chorus from a favorite song, things like that.

Hang in there! And feel free to pm me if you need to chat.

thank you all

TenneseeGirl wrote: thank you all


Great advice above. Get out, get out, get out! And don't be so hard on yourself because you stayed in bed until 5pm. I do that sometimes and my husband hasn't gone anywhere, lol. Perhaps you were making up for not sleeping at night. Either way, don't be so damned hard on yourself! And get out! Meet people, get involved in something. And just know there are many people around you who care and are there! Use 'em! And don't shun your mom just because she'll probably tell you to 'man up'....she may very well be your best ally.