ForumGarden

Saying:

Don't make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain't!

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."

- Alan Minter, Boxer

As messed up as a soup sandwich

I am a vegetarian not because I love animals but because I hate plants

As mad as a box of frogs.

dumb as a sack of hammers

junk is something you get rid of a week before you need it

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."

- Britney Spears, Pop Singer



"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."

- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman



"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."

- Charles De Gaulle, former French President



"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."

- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

"Weather forecast: precipitation in the morning, rain in the afternoon."

- Detroit Daily News

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."

- Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

hmmmmmmm....how about-



"I did not have sexual relations with that woman." Tee hee.......

mominiowa wrote: hmmmmmmm....how about-



"I did not have sexual relations with that woman." Tee hee.......


Who said that then, I wonder? :yh_think :yh_eyerol

finer'n frogs hair.

a few fries short of a happy meal.

A few bricks shy of a full load.

thick as two short planks

There's nowt as funny as folk.

loster than a goat in a phone booth.

"He who forgives ends the argument." African proverb.

_________________________________________________________________

"Confuscious say, it is better to have lobster on your piano than to have crab on your organ." :wah:

In an interview discussing quitting smoking:

"If you die, you've lost a very important part of youself."

--Brooke Shields

Dumber’n a box a rocks.

bright as a button

"Make a man fire, he'll be warm for a day;

Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life."



An he had been a dog that should have howled thus,

they would have hanged him: and I pray God his bad

voice bode no mischief. I had as lief have heard the

night-raven, come what plague could have come after

it. --Much ado about nothing

Dizz wrote: "Make a man fire, he'll be warm for a day;

Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
:eek: :yh_rotfl

In 1978 a man charged with murder escaped from the custody of the Irish police. The Garda Press Office, issued a statement to the effect that, 'He is no more dangerous than any other murderer.'



"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue"



By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Not the sharpest pencil in the box.

"Paramedics have arrived at the scene of that deadly motorcycle crash on the Southside, but nobody knows why they're there."

Casey Black,

Channel 4 News

Smart like a rock... That would be me this morning.

Looks like ten pounds of spuds in five pound sack.

He's mean enough to go bear hunting with a switch.

'one sandwich short of a pic-nic'

don't give a diddly squat.....what the hell is a diddly squat ?

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. !!!!

I'll be a monkey's uncle

A Tudor who tooted a flute

tried to tutor two tooters to toot.

Said the two to their tutor,

"Is it harder to toot

or to tutor two tooters to toot?"

Apple of my eye

Often daughters or sons are referred to as the "apple" of their parent's eye. This phrase originates from King David, who wrote in Psalm 17 to ask God to remember and love David as His child: "Keep me as the apple of Your eye, hide me in the shadow of Your wings." (Ps 17:8).



Blind leading the blind

Another common phrase is the "blind leading the blind", by which it is meant that the person in charge of the situation knows no more about it than those whom he is leading. This is Biblical in origin, coming from Jesus: "Let them alone; they are blind leaders of the blind. And if a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall in a pit.".

sick as a dog or a parrot!

how do we know how sick they are?

or in Sunderland it was often said as sick as a chip?

now l love ly home town but uhm what did that mean....

my grans favorite, make sure youve got on clean underwear, you'll not know where to put your face if you get hit by a bus:wah:

Lights on...nobody home.

Beam me up, Scotty!

ArnoldLayne wrote: My dear 'ol dad had some peculiar sayings.



If I was miserable I "had a face as long as a gasmans mac"



If I was going out I was "all dressed up like a tallymans inkwell "



He once refered to a man who had a nose "like a cobblers thumb"



If I asked him where he was going, he was " going for a ball of chalk (walk) or "there and back to see how far it is"


He is a sandwich short of a picnic ......