Alcoholism

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 12:24 pm

Any other alcoholics here? Don't be shy, speak up.

I'm a recovering alcoholic, as some of you know. I quit January 15th this year, and going strong. Do you believe it's an actual disease, as AA says, or is it something else?

From what I understand, every person knows someone or they themselves are affected in some way by alcoholism.

Just something I've been thinking about lately and I would be interested in conversation, observations, opinions, etc....

pina · Post by **pina** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 12:44 pm

Not a drink since January, youre doing really well, my best friend is a recovering alchoholic he stopped just over four years ago now and still refers to himself as a recovering alchoholic. The crunch time comes when you start to have problems and youre self esteem is very low. My friend Jim lapsed a year this October and drank from morning until night for three weeks. this happened because it was the aniversary of his mothers death and then to top it someone upset him, it doesn't sound much to get into a state over and then to start drinking again but he felt it was what he had to do.

I was the only friend that didn't tell him how stupid he was, he already new that and I felt that I would be wasting my time telling him so.

During the three weeks all his other friends abandoned him because he was so horrible when drunk, but I stuck there with him when he was drunk and rambling and when he was crying, I even sat and had a drink with him a couple of times. Then one day he phoned me sounding like crap and saying he was staying at home and he hadn't had a drink that day, it took three days before he surfaced and even then he still looked like crap but he hadn't had another drink, and still hasn't since.

If my friend Jim can do it so can you, it wont be easy and it will stay with you for a long long time.......you can do it girl. and with family for support it makes things easier. Don't lose faith in yourself. :-6

persephone · Post by **persephone** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 12:46 pm

Don't know much here, I may ramble, and I'm having a stab in the dark.

If you say that alcoholics have adictive personalities, and an adictive personality is just a psychological trait that predisposes particular individuals to addictions, then no it isn't a disease, it's part of a persons personality to be prone to alcoholism.

I got help from here as I couldn't think quite what I was trying to say, you may find it interesting BR

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 1:02 pm

BabyRider wrote: Any other alcoholics here? Don't be shy, speak up.

I'm a recovering alcoholic, as some of you know. I quit January 15th this year, and going strong. Do you believe it's an actual disease, as AA says, or is it something else?

From what I understand, every person knows someone or they themselves are affected in some way by alcoholism.

Just something I've been thinking about lately and I would be interested in conversation, observations, opinions, etc....

Can't say it is a desease or not hun, but know my friend was 1 step away from death meaning one drink away and he went into serious rehabilitation. He is recovering nicely and from his experiences, I would think it is not a disease, as he never really seems cured cause the urge lurks endlessly just like smoking. I get the feeling it goes beyond some cureable disease, I think it's much deeper, and a person needs to be trained to resist the urge. Again like smoking, I think maybe addictive behavior is a brain flaw. And is something we need to control. Never cured but controled, I guess on the lines of diabetes too.

Not much help myself but just my thoughts.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 5:20 pm

Way to go baby rider !

I got 2 yrs in March myself. (pat pat)

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 5:28 pm

I dont go to AA. I spent so many yrs in the gutter and then a solid 5 yrs trying to find a reason to live that by the time I said enough I cut out the middle man and never looked back. Although I think AA is a stellar program I personally didnt want to spend any more time dwelling on it so I learned to crawl, then hobble and finally walk on my own.

Now Im actually entertaining thoughts of becoming a counselor.

Im an open book baby rider and if you ever want to shoot the breeze about it Im up ok ?

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 5:59 pm

BRAVO BR AND NOMAD You have taken the steps, and it is one day at a time. You both should be proud of yourself and know that your not alone ever.

I'm not a drinker I drink every now and then just get to sick when I drink so I listened to my body and stopped.

I have a friend of 33 years she is a recovering ALCOHOLIC I helped her through her recover, got her a job, held her hand, was there for her at ever turn. It can be done but it is a daily battle.

It is a disease and it will destroy every organ in your body over time, and eventually kill you if don't stop. It start with poisoning your blood and then you organs and it is a ugly way to die.

SO PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK, AND THANK GOD YOU HAVE THE STRENGTH TO STAY AWAY FROM IT EACH DAY.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 6:02 pm

My husband's been a recovering alcoholic for 20+ years now. I do believe it does have something to do with an addictive personality. If he finds something he likes doing, he does it in excess. When we go out, he drinks Coors N/A.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 6:07 pm

I know its supposed to be hard Peg but Im telling you after 20 yrs of solid heavy drinking it came down to one thing....live ? or die ?

I chose to live and its been a breeze I dont think about it at all (except for once but I got through it)

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 7:34 pm

OK - I'll come out of the closet but only at the request of someone I respect on this forum. I drank for 30 years. The first time I got drunk was at 16 and I never looked back. I called myself a highly functional alcoholic. I had a successful career, successful children, successive marriages, was always a homeowner and never got arrested. In short I was never a gutter snipe. I only got drunk on every 3rd day but I blacked out almost every time I drank. I was a lightweight drunk too - it did not take much booze to send me to the twilight zone. Those dang boozers in AA would talk about drinking quarts a day - it only took a pint to get me there. I didn't suffer liver damage and my health was always good. I just could not stop. I embarrassed (sp) my daughter on several occaissions (sp) - like every month for years. I controlled my drinking until she moved out of the house and then there was no reason to control it. I started drinking and blacking out every day. After 2 months of this I scared myself. I went to AA and found a good support system in the beginning. The more I stayed there the less respect I had for those snively assed - poor me - people. Now I do my own thing and am happy. If I can help anyone in any way - PM me. This is all I have to say on the subject in public.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 7:41 pm

I was the same....functioning. On a work night a pint so I could get up in the morning. But the weekends were a free for all, drink till I passed out then drank again. I was such a mess. Never got a DUI but I should have a thousand times. My family ? Alcoholic, both sides. My health deteriorated rapidly the last few yrs, I could feel my bloated liver bouncing around inside me. I think if I hadnt quit when I did I would have been dead in a yr.

Its good to be here today Ill tell you that !

MicahLorain · Post by **MicahLorain** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 7:52 pm

I'm an alcoholic. But a functioning one. I never miss work or come to work drunk. I only drink after my shift, at home. A six pack of cheap beer or more with vodka & cranberry/grape juice. Plus another item to go with my cigarettes. I NEVER touch alcohol, cigarettes or the other thing until I've gotten home from work, showered, got everything in order, THEN I hit it. Every night. For the last 22 years. I am tired alot but it replaces the hip prescriptions alot of people take now. I know it's bad but I've decided to wait until there is a problem before I stop. I tried before several years ago after a night of...shall we say; DRAMA and it forced me into a 'controlled environment.' That's been over 10 years ago. Anyway, it's all I look forward to all day every day. Getting home, cleaning up, feeding the pets, then get out my Treatment supplies! You'd think I'd be tired of it after so long but I'm not! Didn't mean to ramble.:rolleyes:

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 7:59 pm

Its all I thought about too. My day was waiting to finish work so I could get busy. In the morning my 1st waking thought was is it the weekend ? Can I drink ? If it is do I have enough liquor in the house to do the whole job ?

It was involuntary, its just the way I woke up.

Now though its much brighter than that, its a joy to be free of the shackles.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 8:03 pm

I stayed away from this thread after my OP, because I didn't want this to be a "BR's story" thread. That's not what this is about. I appreciate the constant support I get from all the super people here. The purpose, I hope, is to inform others who may think they are alone, when they most definitely are NOT.

I did something similar to this a few months back, on a different subject, and it took some time for people to work up their courage and tell their stories, but when it started happening...wow. Like a floodgate had been opened, the stories that came out were incredible.

So ya'll will bear with me if I keep bumping this thread for a while, right? I think it's very important, and I know there's people out there who will appreciate it.

Please, keep the stories coming. Thanks.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 8:04 pm

Nomad wrote: Now though its much brighter than that, its a joy to be free of the shackles.
That needed repeating. Thanks Nomad.

MicahLorain · Post by **MicahLorain** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 8:05 pm

Nomad wrote: Its all I thought about too. My day was waiting to finish work so I could get busy. In the morning my 1st waking thought was is it the weekend ? Can I drink ? If it is do I have enough liquor in the house to do the whole job ?

It was involuntary, its just the way I woke up.

Now though its much brighter than that, its a joy to be free of the shackles.
I'm very routine oriented and strongly doubt I can see the brightness you do. You sound like you might have been in a little deeper. CONGRATS in conquering it. My personal motivation washed away years ago.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 8:15 pm

Trust me Im not here to convince anyone of anything I can only relate my personal experiences to whomever but I will tell you today I see life as a child, through childs eyes. I swear to God almighty I get excited watching wind blow through grass. LOL!

That happens because I missed so many yrs and its ok because from that I am who I am today and I love me very much. I stepped from night into dawn and Ill be damned if Im wasting one second of the days on Earth I have left. The hope and inspiration come from my need to fill my heart with love and compassion for my little place on Earth. Its not mine alone and its to be shared.....your welcome to a piece of it any time you like ! :-6

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 8:39 pm

Geez - my puter is bad tonight. I will repost what I said eventhough I said I would not go public again. I don't think I could have faced the cancer or physically done the chemo if I had still been drinking. My blood pressure is back down to 93/62 and my resting heart rate is at 64. Not too damn bad for 49 years old.

mominiowa · Post by **mominiowa** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 9:09 pm

My dad was an alcoholic ..He would come home at night when I was a little girl and knock my mom around.. I would hide and remember that noise for the rest of my life... My X father in law is also a recovering alcoholic - On our wedding day - he was so drunk he grabbed a lady in the rear and caused a huge fight..He went to jail that night after my husband (his son) beat him to a pulp...(yaa I know - Gez- why didn't I run that night? Hee hee) My X hubby is an alcoholic and continues to bounce between dried out and "all wet" ....I like to drink - but have never liked the after effects..I can't drink now as u all know - but really have never been a big drinker--I think I drank every weekend in high school but became a mom at a young age because of it...

- But the nights of my dads rants scared me enough that when my X hubby started in on me - I knew I had to leave....I have always wondered why my mom never left - but when I turned 12 years old - My dads doc told him quit or die....and he quit...I was never as proud of him until that day- I never knew what a father was till then....He became "not the monster" from the living room but my daddy..... I do believe it is a disease- and unlike cancer and other health problems....It NEVER goes away-- I think recovering alcoholic are just as strong - if not stronger then any cancer patient ever.........Good Luck to you all --:-4

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 1:24 am

i'm sorry if i get off topic here, i really don't mean to. But BR how difficult is it to go to work tending Bar or did i misread previous posts

big drinker in high school, even bigger in college. had a scary night one October and haven't been drunk since. I have a beer once in a while, and sometimes it is all i can do not to have another, because that first one went down so friggin smooth and i know the second one will be even better, and before i know it i'd have a $70 bar bill or an empty box that used to be a case of Bud.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 8:38 am

Wolverine wrote: i'm sorry if i get off topic here, i really don't mean to. But BR how difficult is it to go to work tending Bar or did i misread previous posts
Actually, Wolverine, it's not hard at all. When I see how some of the people in my bar act when they're loaded up, I REALLY don't miss being a drunk. I also remind myself what hang-overs feel like, which is a great deterrent.

Not to mention how damn expensive it is. Nope, that part's easy.

pina · Post by **pina** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 2:48 pm

My last post was a better ending story than this one.......

I worked with a girl for two years when I was 17, she was very pretty with such an outgoing happy personality and everything to live for. I met her a few years later when her daughter and mine became best of friends. I found out she was an alchoholic, at first I coudnt believe it she still went to work everyday, her house was spotless and she was a lot more organised with things than I ever was, meals were always made for the two children she had, their clothes were always clean, on the whole she was a good mother. As the years went by she became bloated and quite ugly, the children had to bring her home from the pub and put her to bed in a drunken stupor. well things went from bad to worse she would bring men home after they had bought her a few drinks and she was always falling over, one xmas she fell down the stairs and ended up in plaster from her head down to her hips. I still remember how embarrassed the kids were if anyone said anything to them at school, the girl often stayed over at mine to keep out of the way.

She could have stopped drinking but didnÃ‚Â´t have the will power.

The ending to this story is she died at the age of 37, she had all kinds of health problems, but she died of liver failure.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 3:03 pm

Its a rough road to be sure.

My uncle died at 39. They found his body in a lake. He was a veteran, he had a masters degree in Sociology, none of it mattered in the end. I went to grandmas house after he died and in his bedroom were 3 maybe 400 empty 1/2 gl. bottles of gin & vodka. My best guess is he didnt throw them out because he was ashamed, he didnt even want the garbage man to know.

I miss him.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 4:38 pm

When I'm working, I wonder sometimes how these people can let their lives get to the point where they are willing to give up everybody and everything for alcohol. I see many with a gambling addiction too which is way more expensive.

My husband, who has been in recovery for 20+ years, also tends bar.

venus · Post by **venus** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 4:45 pm

I think anyone who has stumbled down the wrong path then finds the strength to come back from it is very strong.

There are way to many people in the world today who arent. I have known people with stories that make you want to throw up and then cry, but they keep going.

That is strength, that is determination. Living the rest of your life with the desire for drink, drugs and everyday saying no..

Living everyday with a disease, health problem, pain, that is strength..

Not people who shout for praise everytime they achieve a matching outfit!

Strength comes from the heart and people who live with the above every day have BIG hearts..

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Aug 13, 2005 12:49 am

Peg wrote: When I'm working, I wonder sometimes how these people can let their lives get to the point where they are willing to give up everybody and everything for alcohol. I see many with a gambling addiction too which is way more expensive.

My husband, who has been in recovery for 20+ years, also tends bar.

I think this brings us back to the original question...is this a disease.

I would say yes considering both sides of my family walked the same way my experiences tell me theres a genetic predisposition.

Im trying to think of some thundering answer Peg but in reality alcohol is a sweet poison that just derails you before you know whats going on.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 7:44 am

I hope I don't stir up any bad memories for anyone by bringing this topic back up.

Here's a question. Can a person be "driven to drink" by another person or is this an excuse? I heard this comment last night and I think it's just a copout; an excuse. Can a recovering alcoholic become "Just a social drinker"?

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 7:47 am

Peg wrote: I hope I don't stir up any bad memories for anyone by bringing this topic back up.

Here's a question. Can a person be "driven to drink" by another person or is this an excuse? I heard this comment last night and I think it's just a copout; an excuse. Can a recovering alcoholic become "Just a social drinker"?

It is an excuse..........and no a real alcoholic cannot become a social drinker.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 7:49 am

Peg wrote: I hope I don't stir up any bad memories for anyone by bringing this topic back up.

Here's a question. Can a person be "driven to drink" by another person or is this an excuse? I heard this comment last night and I think it's just a copout; an excuse. Can a recovering alcoholic become "Just a social drinker"?the medical establishment says an alcoholic cannot ever be a social drinker.one is too many and a hundred's not enough. as for being driven to drink, it's my opinion that it's an excuse. there are no reasons, only excuses. it's a disease of DENIAL

StupidCowboyTricks · Post by **StupidCowboyTricks** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 10:51 am

Peg wrote: I hope I don't stir up any bad memories for anyone by bringing this topic back up.

Here's a question. Can a person be "driven to drink" by another person or is this an excuse? I heard this comment last night and I think it's just a copout; an excuse. Can a recovering alcoholic become "Just a social drinker"?

Well sure they can, may even be successful at it........but it will be only a matter of time, then BAM.........They are back where they were ...... only worse......and the guilt that they experience will be even more devastating. (and the cycle starts again)

Valerie100 · Post by **Valerie100** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 11:38 am

Yes, alcoholism is an actual disease. Alcohol changes your mind, not to mention destroys your liver and gives you delirium tremins. It also, for the alcholic, causes an unusually odd sensation in the back of the throat, like an addictive feeling.

I used to drink a lot. I really don't drink much now. I was getting that horrible addictive feeling in the back of my throat, though.

I did have a drug problem when I was a teenager. Any addiction is a disease, mentally and physically, and can literally flush your very life right down the toilet.

You know what they say about excess -- too much of anything is bad for you.

StupidCowboyTricks · Post by **StupidCowboyTricks** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 11:49 am

Valerie100 wrote: Yes, alcoholism is an actual disease. Alcohol changes your mind, not to mention destroys your liver and gives you delirium tremins. It also, for the alcholic, causes an unusually odd sensation in the back of the throat, like an addictive feeling.

I used to drink a lot. I really don't drink much now. I was getting that horrible addictive feeling in the back of my throat, though.

I did have a drug problem when I was a teenager. Any addiction is a disease, mentally and physically, and can literally flush your very life right down the toilet.

You know what they say about excess -- too much of anything is bad for you.

An Alcoholic (any substance abuser) is forever trying to achieve their first high......

dsheridan25 · Post by **dsheridan25** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 5:15 pm

Alcoholism is a disease. I do believe that and stand by it. My dad is an alcoholic and I am a drug addict in recovery for 9 months now. It has been a long ride to get here, but 1 day at a time. For my father he is not so fortunate. He can stop any time he wants so he says. Until he realizes he is powerless over alcohol he can't get help. It's a messed up world and having drugs and alcohol doesn't add any positiveness to it! Congradulations to taking the first step!

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 5:35 pm

dsheridan25 wrote: Alcoholism is a disease. I do believe that and stand by it. My dad is an alcoholic and I am a drug addict in recovery for 9 months now. It has been a long ride to get here, but 1 day at a time. For my father he is not so fortunate. He can stop any time he wants so he says. Until he realizes he is powerless over alcohol he can't get help. It's a messed up world and having drugs and alcohol doesn't add any positiveness to it! Congradulations to taking the first step!

Hey buddy good work ! Proud for you....life is easier sober. 3 yrs on Mar 10 for me !

StupidCowboyTricks · Post by **StupidCowboyTricks** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 5:43 pm

Welcome D,

I will celebrate my 10Th year the 24th of this month.

Good to see you here.

dsheridan25 · Post by **dsheridan25** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 5:47 pm

Thank You for being so accepting...it's not always easy addmitting your faults in life, and their certainly always people who are willing to judge. It's nice to know their are people who have been there too!

Deb:)

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 6:34 pm

Hi Deb And welcome. Accepting our shortcomings is easy when you lose your ego. Ego is so cumbersome, it always gets in the way. When we accept that we are fallible beings it gives us license to forgive ourselves. I have a feeling your going to fit right in here, many come and post a couple times then haul ass, stick with it its a very cool place here with some of the nicest people Ive ever had the pleasure of knowing. It takes time and it goes easier when your genuine which I can see you are.

If I can help in any way please feel free to call on me, here or in pm.

Brian

Mookey1229 · Post by **Mookey1229** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 11:57 pm

I honestly so believe it is a disease. I also believe it is inherited. I am not a drinker, nor ever have been, but ex husband was a very mean alcoholic. His mom and dad and grandparents were alcoholics. Both of my boys are alcoholics even though I raised them without alcohol in the house. My dad was an alcoholic as well as my brother and my sister. I grew up with all around me. It is a terrible terrible disease with awful outcomes. Nothing good comes out of. I commend you for kicking it. Please for yourself and your loved ones keep up the good work. It has destroyed my relationship with my oldest son. He no longer wants to have anything to do with me and I am sure it is guilt because the family he married into are all alcoholics and he knows how I feel about drinking. Keep up the good work... My prayers are with you in your success an ex-alcoholic. Your healthe and well being are going to benefit.

Mookey1229 · Post by **Mookey1229** » Fri Feb 10, 2006 5:00 pm

Thank you, and most of them who did were alchoholics.... Point in case huh?

Amazing what liquor can do to a family isn't it. Am I bitter? Oh yes, I would say just a little. You can't smoke anywhere anymore because it hurts people, but gee lets all get drunk and beat our spouses, kids or maybe the next door neighbor! There was a guy on TV this last week that beat his dog with a golf club because it barked. He was drunk. His daughter got between him and the dog. Thank god the dog lived and the drunk went to jail and was served a restraining order not to go near the house. His wife said she never wanted to see him again.
Of course I am not saying I am anti drinking, or that everyone that drinks is mean or an alcoholic, I have just had my share of bad ones. My hubby now has his toddies and beer with football, but he is not an alcoholic and is a wonderful man. There are good drinkers and BAD drinkers... But no drinking is best.