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I'm not a man but I found this amusing (courtesy of www.ebaumsworld.com)

Why Men Are Happier Than Women!

1. We keep our last name.

2. The garage is all ours.

3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

4. Chocolate is just another snack.

5. We can be president.

6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.

8. The world is our urinal.

9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

10. Same work, more pay.

11. Wrinkles add character.

12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.

13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.

14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.

16. One mood, ALL the time.

17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

18. We know stuff about tanks.

19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

20. We can open all our own jars.

21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.

23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

24. Everything on our face stays its original color.

25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

27. We almost never have strap problems in public

28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.

29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.

30. We don't have to shave below our neck.

31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.

32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.

34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

"one mood, ALL the time." that's us!

I'm pretty sure that if push came to shove, we could get the X-mas shopping done in a half hour.

Too funny. Thanks Tan!!

Interesting stuff, yes men may have less cares than women but they seem to live longer than us. Also few women (if ever) start wars.

polycarp wrote: Interesting stuff, yes men may have less cares than women but they seem to live longer than us. Also few women (if ever) start wars.
I could be wrong, but I do believe that the Trojan War was started(maybe not "by") because of a woman.

Joan of Arc, warmonger.

but I digress

Im a man but I dont mind saying I find women to be light years ahead of men in the intelligence dept. I think because women know how to use their intuition, they let their inner voice guide them and its to be trusted. I believe the day we elect the right woman to our presidency is the day we truly become a nation with driven purpose.

Why Women Are Happier Than Men



Women...

* ...Aren't forced to compensate for their fathers' lack of childhood sports skills every Saturday morning throughout their formative years.

* ...Can sit and read every time they go to the bathroom.

* ...Can spend time alone with Catholic priests, Boy Scout leaders, and Baptist Youth ministers without feeling sexually threatened

* ...Don't worry about going bald

* ...Never have to rearrange their testicles while wearing tight pants

* ...Never get their sex organs caught in their zippers while drunk

* ...Don't have to constantly answer "What are you gonna be when you grow up?" shortly after their third birthday.

* ...Don't have to run a super-sharp piece of metal over their facial epidermal layer each and every morning of their adult lives.

* ...Can bludgeon someone to death with a baseball bat and then get off scot-free by claiming a "hormonal imbalance"

* ...Can commit cold-blooded murder and not only get off scot-free, but end up with a book deal and an appearance on Oprah merely by mentioning "years of violent spousal abuse"

* ...Don't have to go in a pubic women's restroom and worry about some previous occupant pissing and shitting on the seat, the floor, and the surrounding walls.

* ...ALWAYS outlive their husbands.

* ...Have a wide variety of commercial, sweet smelling deodorants for their sex organ.

* ...In a moment of anger, can call someone a "****" without being exiled and excommunicated from the community of humankind.

* ...know exactly what to do when a child is sick.

* ...don't have a freaky, semi-oedipal relationship with their overbearing mothers

* ...don't ever have to spit

* ...don't ever have to hold one nostril shut while blowing a huge loogie out the other

* ...have an astute, innate sense of when to change underwear before it becomes a Petri Dish for bacteria development

* ...never pull a back muscle screaming at the television during a sports event.

* ...don't have to worry about which family member will inherit and care for their collection of baseball caps

* ...never lose six hours on a Saturday morning watching fishing shows on OLN

* ...can terminate a bladder emptying event without waiting for 'the shake'

* ...can tell their doctors anything

* ...Can simulate a perfect, entire sex act with nothing more than ten idle minutes and a zucchini.

* ...don't have to pay for dinner if we want to play hide the hobbit.

* ...can always reduce their lovers to a quivering mass of jelly by saying "oh baby!, take me now perfectly like only a real man can."

* ...Can open a door for somebody without being asked if they had a good wooly mammoth hunt this morning.

* ...Can have long hair and not be a hippy.

* ...Can wear earings and not be questioned on their sexuality and/or assumed to have pirate as a profession.

* ...Can flirt to get out of unpleasant situations.

* ...Can use boobies to get good discounts on electronic products and out of getting written up for a traffic ticket.

* ...Can use make up to hide any skin imprefections.

* ...Never have to feel the pain that is being kicked in the balls.

Oh, and the best one of all:

* ...MULTIPLE ORGASMS

*Why do women even need us ?* :-3



1. The average cucumber is at least six inches long.

2. Cucumbers stay hard for a week.

3. A cucumber won't tell you size don't count.

4. Cucumbers don't get TOO excited.

5. A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety.

6. Cucumbers are easy to pick up.

7. You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket... and you know how firm it is before you take it home.

8. Cucumbers can get away any weekend.

9. With a cucumber you can get a single room and ... you won't have to check in as 'Mrs. Cucumber'.

10. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning.

11. If you can go to the movie with a cucumber and see the movie at a drive in you can stay in the front seat.

12. A cucumber can always wait until you get home.

13. A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn.

14. A cucumber won't drag you out to a John Wayne Film Festival.

15. A cucumber won't ask: 'Am I first?'

16. Cucumbers don't care whether you're a virgin.

17. Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin.

18. Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin.

19. With cucumbers, you don't have to be a virgin more than once.

20. Cucumbers won't write your name and number on men's room wall.

21. Cucumbers don't have sex hang-ups.

22. Cucumbers won't ask: 'Am I the best', 'How was it?' 'Did you come?', 'How many times?'

23. Cucumbers aren't jealous of your gynecologist, ski instructor or hair dresser.

24. Cucumbers won't ask about your last lover or speculate about your next one.

25. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator.

26. A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes over.

27. No matter how old you are you can always get a fresh cucumber.

28. You can dish a cucumber up for dinner to your Brother-in law

& Sister, after ****ing it.

29. Cucumbers can handle rejection.

30. A cucumber won't pout if you have a headache.

31. A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is.

32. A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet.

33. A cucumber won't give it up for lent.

34. With a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry.

35. Cucumbers won't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow.

36. A cucumber will never give you a hickey.

37. Cucumbers can stay up ALL night and you won't have to sleep

in the wet spot.

38. A cucumber won't work your crossword in ink.

39. A cucumber isn't allergic to your cat.

40. Cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car.

41. A cucumber won't eat all your food or drink all your liquor.

42. A cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library.

43. Cucumbers won't go through your medicine chest.

44. A cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on or hairspray.

45. Cucumbers won't leave dirty shorts on the floor.

46. A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet.

47. A cucumber doesn't flush the toilet while you're in the shower.

48. With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.

49. Cucumbers don't compare you to a centerfold.

50. Cucumbers won't tell you they liked you better with long hair.

51. A cucumber will never leave you for another man, another woman or another cucumber.

52. You will always know where your cucumber has been.

53. A cucumber never has to call 'the wife'.

54. Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them.

55. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle.

56. You only eat cucumbers when you feel like it.

57. You don't have to wait for halftime to talk to your cucumber.

58. A cucumber won't leave town on New Years Eve.

59. Cucumbers never want to take you home to mom.

60. Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers.

61. It's easy to drop a cucumber.

62. A cucumber will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement or seek custody of anything.

* ...Can use boobies to get out of getting written up for a traffic ticket............doesn't work on me :wah:

ah but you havent seen mine :yh_battin :driving:

buttercup wrote: ah but you havent seen mine :yh_battin :driving:mine are bigger. :p

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl Excellent pretty much have the sexes down.

Far Rider wrote: :yh_rotfl

At the whole thread...

Buttercup... you have peeked my curiosity.

Now explain your AV name? (kidding of course)

:wah:


not fair turns out lc's boobs are bigger than mine, grrrrrrrrr

name comes from a character in the film (the princess bride)

avatar seemed to fit it well

makes me seem all sweet & innocent, is that devious? - hell yeah :yh_rotfl

name comes from a character in the film (the princess bride)





Thats always been a favorite if mine.....its just a nice movie....all fairytale-ish

Im not surprised your devious...............after all you are Scottish

cant be helped I spose ! :-5

far rider you & your daughter will love it, as for the devious, no nothing to do with being scottish - hey im a woman, that covers it

The definitive answer

I can live with that.

I don't want to sound like Richard Wilson in 'One foot in the grave', but I don't believe it. My Mrs is very happy.

Far Rider wrote: hahaha so I think I need to learn why scots are devious?

I just rented thte princess bride, I have seen parts of it on TV always wanted to watch the whole thing, my daughter and I have a date coming up and I was gonna watch it with her and then go get ice cream! There we will have our usual daddy daughter talk about which poor fella in our church she likes.


Hey I've watched Prices Bride and really enjoyed it. It's a film that should be watched more than once.