On and forward

[magentaflame]

Just thought I'd drop in here and tell you guys what I'm up to moving into the future.
2023 was a really rough year and I'm not out of the woods yet, but it is getting better.

It all came to a head sitting in Centrelink .....have you ever had the experience where nothing huge happens, but lots of little problems come up and they build up until it just becomes too much? Yeah well that happened, and I lost it. I got called up and I don't know what the heck happened but I couldn't speak. Every time I tried to talk to the woman nothing came out. Then I burst into tears. She tried to calm me down and asked a few questions, I couldn't form any words. Obviously things had been building up, and I'd been sick and I knew I wasn't coping but you know me....just keep soldiering on...it'll get better. DOH!
I'd made a few life changing decisions recently (based on not so good reasons) but I knew I had to do something and it was a hurtful experience and I knew I had to make a decision. (If that makes sense) I suddenly realised I am totally alone in this world. There is nobody coming to help me if anything goes wrong. Some of it is by design, some by circumstance. That is a huge realization. I think it led to an anxiety attack in Centrelink. I finally said those dreaded words out loud too. "yes I've been feeling suicidal for months". Thankfully they have given me a month to sort out my medical and mental health plan. Just having that option is a huge relief.

The whole reason I think I got to this state of being was the fact that I've been making plans for myself. I'm getting older and society's expectations of me are changing . It's a deeply worrying sexist trend, but there you go. Weighing up issues, planning what to do if this or that goes wrong. Planning which way to head and remembering not to go in that direction or this...(cause you did that already and let's not make that mistake again.)
I worked out that there is nothing keeping me in my home state anymore. In fact I feel a bit trapped. I'm sick of paying for skyrocketing rents and utility bills and food costs are simply stupid. I've been working on an "off grid, pop up camper trailer" for 6 months and it's almost ready to be registered. I'm just about to enroll in a free course by the government, Educational Support - (ie teachers assistant) and then I'll do Early Childhood and Care (ie Nanny). As soon as these courses are completed and I have a bit of experience up my sleeve...I"M OFF! Hopefully to get a job on a Station somewhere up north as a Nanny/Governess. Something I should have done over a decade ago....but you know how the proverbial happens.


I'm hoping to continue in a job that is the absolute bomb! Chaperoning and sometimes driving a 'special needs' school bus service. It truly is a joy working with those kids. It's a split shift so plenty of time to study....Hopefully I'll get more hours this year.

So....hopefully by the end of the year I'll be off to make a life outback. I think that's where I really should be, I'm happiest when I'm in the bush and being around children makes me feel young again.. Win! win! I reckon!

So, I past the entrance test to do the first course. I may need a tutor myself for maths. Just need to enroll and I'm on my way ....as soon as I figure out how to free up space on my laptop. (there's always something)

[Bryn Mawr]

Sounds like life just hit you with a wet sack but that you’ve survived it so far and started to dig yourself out from under.

It’s great that you’re planning a lifestyle change to live your way rather than soldiering on regardless, it all sounds positive and sustainable.

Do what you feel is right and live a life that makes you feel good - it sounds as if your getting there and I wish you well.

[Betty Boop]

Sounds traumatic, its always the little things that add up and knock you sideways.

I have had the shittiest 16 months plus and I can't ever see it getting better. I'd happily just go to bed and never have to get up again and deal with this shitty life, to be honest.


Good luck with it all and what do you mean by freeing up space on your laptop?

[magentaflame]

Sounds like life just hit you with a wet sack but that you’ve survived it so far and started to dig yourself out from under.

It’s great that you’re planning a lifestyle change to live your way rather than soldiering on regardless, it all sounds positive and sustainable.

Do what you feel is right and live a life that makes you feel good - it sounds as if your getting there and I wish you well.

A wet sack with porcupines in it. Could be worse, I could of been placed in the sack with the monkey and the snake. lol
And thank you for your wishes.

[magentaflame]

Sounds traumatic, its always the little things that add up and knock you sideways.

I have had the shittiest 16 months plus and I can't ever see it getting better. I'd happily just go to bed and never have to get up again and deal with this shitty life, to be honest.


Good luck with it all and what do you mean by freeing up space on your laptop?

I'm so sorry to hear that Betty. I'm thinking of you. Life just gets so shitty. And then we have parliamentarians telling us everything is fine.... it's just a financial crisis. Why don't they ever tell us the truth? It's a depression brought on by greed of the highest order and politicians are up to their necks in it. Hmmm...maybe we already know the truth and the lies being told to us just makes us madder and more depressed. I see you guys are having as many floods as we are. (makes a nice change from bush fires I suppose, touch wood)
So what's happening in your world? I do understand the not wanting to get out of bed scenario. For a short time my fibromyalgia began to return, it was an effort just to get out of bed. I convinced myself at one point that I'm getting older (55 on the 26th of this month) so the years seem to be moving faster. So a year will go quickly now and whatever happens in that year will disappear quickly as well. It sort of worked. I think we have a few more years of this chronic worldwide crap.

As far as my computer goes ...I don't really know. I received it a few years ago and I've just been loading crap onto it and it's not liking it anymore. I don't pretend to know what to do. I was thinking of taking it to a shop. It began when I got sick of giving money once a year to microsoft just to use there windows. I chose Chrome for my main server and Open office for everything else. I think the laptop has spat the dummy. plus I probably do have way to many documents and pictures on it. I just don't know how to fix it. I was thinking of just wiping everything and defragging but I can't remember how to do it.

[spot]

As far as my computer goes ...I don't really know. I received it a few years ago and I've just been loading crap onto it and it's not liking it anymore. I don't pretend to know what to do. I was thinking of taking it to a shop. It began when I got sick of giving money once a year to microsoft just to use there windows. I chose Chrome for my main server and Open office for everything else. I think the laptop has spat the dummy. plus I probably do have way to many documents and pictures on it. I just don't know how to fix it. I was thinking of just wiping everything and defragging but I can't remember how to do it.

www.reddit.com/r/Crostini/comments/e4yb ... howing_an/

I've never used a chromebook but that's the easiest way to find which part of your directory tree uses most space. If you use the arrow keys and the enter you can isolate the areas you want to selectively delete, pressing the d key deletes all the files and directories underneath the location you've reached. As the last sentence says, you need to be able to open a terminal app to install ncdu.

[magentaflame]

I don't have a chrome book Spot. I don't even know what that is. I have a HP laptop.

[spot]

I don't have a chrome book Spot. I don't even know what that is. I have a HP laptop.

It's my mistake, I was guessing at what "I chose Chrome for my main server" meant.

On Windows there's a utility SquirrelDisk I've used before and it showed where disk space was predominantly used - https://alternativeto.net/software/squirreldisk/about/ but there are several others. My trigger words are no ads, free, open, no registration, no tracking. It's "one button to easily find all the huge files on your computer" along with digging around and exploring by size.

[magentaflame]

I don't have a chrome book Spot. I don't even know what that is. I have a HP laptop.

It's my mistake, I was guessing at what "I chose Chrome for my main server" meant.

On Windows there's a utility SquirrelDisk I've used before and it showed where disk space was predominantly used - https://alternativeto.net/software/squirreldisk/about/ but there are several others. My trigger words are no ads, free, open, no registration, no tracking. It's "one button to easily find all the huge files on your computer" along with digging around and exploring by size.

OH I see what you mean. Well it's like this. when I first got the computer Microsoft 365 was on it. And I think Microsoft Edge. BUT...it was one of those deals where you had to pay annually for the system to run. Well I thought stuff that for a game of soldiers and decided to make Google/chrome my operating system and open office as my pseudo windows office............(btw I have no idea if I'm even using the correct terminology). But now Windows 11 keeps wanting to load itself and I think it's battling for space with Chrome. IDK I give up. It needs a proper person to look at it.

[magentaflame]

And I have to get it done by the 12th of Feb because that's when I start my course. And I need to be able to put their Microsoft office free version on the bloody thing.

[spot]

As far as vocabulary goes, Open Office is equivalent to Microsoft 365 (which is a recent online annual-payment equivalent to a Microsoft Office except it lives on the Internet instead of your own hard drive). The only available Microsoft currently updated operating system is called either Windows 10 or Windows 11. Your chosen browser, if I'm getting your reference right, is Google's Chrome browser, which is a different equivalent program to Microsoft Edge or to Firefox (or Opera or Brave - there are dozens of them).

I'm quite pleased with Open Office (which is a parallel version of Libre Office which is the version I use). I'm quite happy with Microsoft Windows 10 or 11, though I don't use either myself. I'm quite happy with Google Chrome as a browser, though I rarely use it - it's on my machine though.

Windows 11 keeps wanting to load itself and it's battling for space with Windows 10, which it would replace. It will slightly change the way your screen looks but if it were me I'd let it happen - it might actually refuse if it decides your laptop is too old, because Microsoft is like that, but it does the same job. It will keep being maintained for longer than Windows 10 but at the moment both still get frequent security updates.

If you install https://alternativeto.net/software/squirreldisk/about/ (Squirreldisk) and run it you'll be able to see what's using most of your hard drive, and easily delete the bigger bits you no longer need. I always prefer to keep at least 50GB free space, and installing Windows 11 will insist on at least that much before it will allow the installation to proceed. I don't know how much memory or hard drive space your laptop has.

If your course provides a free version of Microsoft Office then that's wonderful, you can install it and still keep Open Office as well. Microsoft Office will open .docx and .xlsx files by default, which Open Office can also use. Open Office will use .odt and .ods files by default and Microsoft, being jealous, will refuse to recognize those at all.

[Saint_]

Just thought I'd drop in here and tell you guys what I'm up to moving into the future.
2023 was a really rough year and I'm not out of the woods yet, but it is getting better.

I'm sorry to hear that! But I'm glad you are getting better!

I'm getting older and society's expectations of me are changing .

I completely identify! Since I retired I've felt pretty much out of sorts. I finally had to go back to work just to stop the bad feelings.

driving a 'special needs' school bus service. It truly is a joy working with those kids.

funny you should mention this. I'm actually at a middle school today substitute teaching for a special needs teacher!

I may need a tutor myself for maths

Actually that's what I do for a living - Mathematics teacher. And I'm the best there is. (I know that sounds conceited, but its true!) If you need some help. Just message me! Here's my FB page: https://www.facebook.com/Jonathan.Andrew.Ives/