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Ten percent of Florida's wild bear population is being killed by hunters this week. Bears are not safe to live near, apparently, being rather like Floridians in this respect.The Wildlife Commission's advice on encountering black bears is to remain standing upright and speak to the bear in a calm, assertive voice while backing up slowly towards a secure area and leaving the bear a clear escape route.

Florida holds hunt to kill 320 bears - BBC News

The advice is unexpected, I'd have thought any patriotic white American in that position could just point his or her personal offense weapon of choice at the bear and blow its brains out, citing local stand-your-ground legislation. The bear is, as the advisory notice clearly emphasizes, black, and you can always claim afterwards to have seen it reaching for a handgun.

I have tried to frame a suitable response, but you have out obnoxioused me.

Bruv;1488182 wrote: I have tried to frame a suitable response, but you have out obnoxioused me.


Me?

What about the 4,000 bear-hunting licenses!

spot;1488183 wrote: Me?

What about the 4,000 bear-hunting licenses!


No, they didn't even touch the sides......................black bears will survive

They might if they emigrate to Canada. There's an old Harriet Tubman trail from Florida to the Great Lakes, the bears could go from safe-house to safe-house walking at night.

Bruv;1488182 wrote: I have tried to frame a suitable response, but you have out obnoxioused me.


Well said.

Hunters, eh.

Beneath the trees where nobody sees

They'll hide and seek as long as they please.

Wonder how bear meat tastes?

6 Black Bear Recipes, Butchering Tips And How-Tos

Cooking Bear Meat

Floridians have some neat hunting opportunities.

Statewide Alligator Harvest Program permits

I don't know about hunting alligator at night.

Alligator Recipes

I wonder if alligator tastes anything like rattlesnake?

See them gaily gad about

They love to play and shout

They never have any care;

At six o'clock their mummies and daddies

Will take them home to bed.

I was thinking Walter Palmer but there's something Tom Lehrer wrote which is more appropriate.

I was in no mood to trifle,

I took down my trusty rifle

And went out to stalk my prey.

What a haul I made that day.

I tied them to my fender, and I drove them home somehow,

Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

The law was very firm, it

Took away my permit,

The worst punishment I ever endured.

It turned out there was a reason,

Cows were out of season,

And one of the hunters wasn't insured.

People ask me how I do it,

And I say, "there's nothin' to it,

You just stand there lookin' cute,

And when something moves, you shoot!"

tude dog;1488193 wrote: Wonder how bear meat tastes?

6 Black Bear Recipes, Butchering Tips And How-Tos

Cooking Bear Meat

Floridians have some neat hunting opportunities.

Statewide Alligator Harvest Program permits

I don't know about hunting alligator at night.

Alligator Recipes

I wonder if alligator tastes anything like rattlesnake?


Isn't much different. Maybe a bit more like Froglegs in taste.

I Like Gator.

And, hunting them at night is better. Two guys on a skiff, with a flashlight. The eyes glow in the dark. you sight in between them.

Too easy.

The only problem is that when you hit the gator, its eyes close and often it starts to sink, so somebody has to jump in the water and retrieve the beast.

LarsMac;1488196 wrote: And, hunting them at night is better. Two guys on a skiff, with a flashlight. The eyes glow in the dark. you sight in between them.

Too easy. In England it's called lamping and farmers hunt foxes this way. Or, depending on how lax their fire control, anything else with eyes that far apart which might have strayed from the main group of onlookers, like children.

If you go down to the woods today

You'd better not go alone.

It's lovely down in the woods today

But safer to stay at home.