Men! Why Do We Do It?

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 7:58 am

I love my wife as much today as I did when I first fell in love with her, and during the years we've been together she's become my best friend as well. I occasionally meet other women (here and there) and once in a while one of them would like to be more than just â€¦.... I feel flattered but I have no interest in â€¦.. Actually, whenever I see a really fetching woman it makes me all the more eager to see my wife at the end of the day.

So please tell me â€“ why do I look women up and down whenever they come into view? I used to think it was like seeing a Bugatti Type 57 or an XK-150. â€œWow! Would I ever love to own that!â€ But it's not true. If I were offered a luscious automobile I'd gladly accept it. But another woman besides my wife? Never! So why can't I stop looking? What's the point? What is it that makes me look in their direction and appraise them for their beauty? I can't figure myself out. :yh_neutra

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 9:05 am

You can look, but please don't be obvious. Don't move your head, just glance with your eyes without moving them. Otherwise, you look foolish & obnoxious. Control yourself to that & it's fine. Don't be like a drooling dog wagging it's tail. I would say this to any man of any age, of any marital state.

FourPart · Post by **FourPart** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 9:06 am

You mean we can't go humping their legs?

Awwwww.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 9:13 am

AnneBoleyn;1460426 wrote: I would say this to any man ..... of any marital state.

Even the state of California?

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 9:19 am

FourPart, HT--you are behaving foolishly. That's why you pose the question HT. Silly boys, the lot of you!

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 9:21 am

My husband has always had film star looks and with that over the years has come admiring glances In the street but what I love Is when someone says to me... your husband, what a gentleman !

Although you have to watch that Gilly... she's tried chatting him up on the phone :sneaky::yh_rotfl

I don't do jealousy and never have. I just don't get these women who marry a man because they love the way he Is and then spend the rest of their days trying to change him.

I have never In all my marriage gone through his phone, his briefcase nor his wallet... for one I'm too lazy.

My revolting neighbour even logs the millage on the car so If he pops to the shops, she can see If he went somewhere else.... I predict, that Is the man that will ultimately cheat or leave her.

Before he came so Ill, my husband would go off on fishing trips for days and I still go off for days with horse racing buddies or some campaign somewhere. As long as we know each other Is safe then the rest doesn't even enter our heads.

It's natural for men to look at women and vice versa... It's life, married or not.

If I get a compliment from a man, I'm flattered. I certainly don't go Into a feminist rant. Men have admired the female form and vice versa since the dawning of time, married or not.

If you have a husband or wife that Is comfortable with that.... that's the key... not the looking.... and that's the marriage that will last.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 9:46 am

Simple answer to that HT, you are a normal male ! But please don't imagine that it is only the male human being who takes a long approving look at a good-lookng person of the opposite sex. Healthy, normal women also take long approving looks at good-looking people of the opposite sex. I know I do ! What is the saying - "A cat can look at a king" ! A person can admire a thing of beauty - a painting, a view, a man, a woman.

Just because, when you look at a good-looking woman/man, you may imagine and wonder what they would be like in bed, doesn't mean that you are going to be or want to be unfaithful to your chosen partner ! In my case, if I see a jaw-dropping gorgeous fella, I think 'Wow, now that's eye candy and a half !' and immediately think of my lovely hubby and know that I have my very own gorgeous 'eye candy' and I'm so lucky! Our love for each other is so strong. It has changed over the years - I know that we would each be devastated if either of us should part company. He is my true love, my best friend, my rock, my confidante. That will never diminish and that is why he can look and enjoy looking at a gorgeous woman and I can look and enjoy looking at a gorgeous fella !

Just because we've just had our 50th wedding anniversary does not mean that we're 'past it' and have no interest in 'looking' and 'admiring' others. One is the same inside as if one is in their 20s, it's just the outer covering that has changed to a sort of parchment, and the hinges have got a bit rusty !

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

When your own relationship is strong and fulfilling, such activities are quite normal and are certainly no risk to your own relationship, simply because one just enjoys the looking but has no desire to take it any further.

The song below I had played over the internal sound system at our 50th 'do' from me to my dear hubby as it sort of sums up our relationship as it is today :-4 So get the tissues out ! :wah: Sloppy or what !

Clodagh Rodgers its different now - YouTube

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 9:49 am

Oscar Namechange;1460431 wrote: If you have a husband or wife that Is comfortable with that.... that's the key... not the looking.... and that's the marriage that will last.

You're more mature than the average woman, Oscar. I'm glad you're about. Are you paying attention, Pete?

Oscar Namechange;1460431 wrote: Men have admired the female form and vice versa since the dawning of time ...

Not sure the Jabberwocky had anyone to goggle.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:01 am

G#Gill;1460434 wrote: The song below I had played over the internal sound system at our 50th 'do' from me to my dear hubby as it sort of sums up our relationship as it is today :-4 So get the tissues out ! :wah: Sloppy or what !

Clodagh Rodgers its different now - YouTube

My tissue is sopping wet. Anyone have a spare? Do me a favour please, Gill ... and invite me to your 100th do. But perform something on the order of "Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Daughter" instead. I'll ball me eyes out even then but at least I'll be able to sing along.

50 years! I'm going to cry all over again. Tears of joy, mind ..... :-1

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:06 am

AnneBoleyn;1460426 wrote: You can look, but please don't be obvious. Don't move your head, just glance with your eyes without moving them. Otherwise, you look foolish & obnoxious. Control yourself to that & it's fine. Don't be like a drooling dog wagging it's tail. I would say this to any man of any age, of any marital state.

Oh Anne, he's a man !!!! Men do that !!!! Women do that - drool over men !!!! It's quite normal you know. If I got a wolf whistle from some guy I would feel very pleased with myself - some fella thinks I'm good enough to whistle at !!! Leave the fellas alone, Anne, let them have their bit of enjoyment. Haven't you ever looked at a gorgeous looking fella and felt like saying 'Wow' ? He looks fit !! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Post by **Chloe_88** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 11:39 am

Human bodies can be amazing. No problem in admiring that.

Just try not to stare or dribble.. :wah:

I remember my OH coming home from the pub all flustered.. I asked what was wrong.. He told me a lady old enough to be his mum, sat on his lap and grabbed his crown jewels!

He sprung up, left his beer and jumped on his bicycle and sped home asap!

I laughed my socks off!

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 11:53 am

Chloe_88;1460440 wrote: I laughed my socks off!

A good start! :wah:

Post by **Chloe_88** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 11:55 am

High Threshold;1460443 wrote: A good start! :wah:

:yh_rotfl

recovering conservative · Mon Jul 21, 2014 12:31 pm

AnneBoleyn;1460426 wrote: You can look, but please don't be obvious. Don't move your head, just glance with your eyes without moving them. Otherwise, you look foolish & obnoxious. Control yourself to that & it's fine. Don't be like a drooling dog wagging it's tail. I would say this to any man of any age, of any marital state.

Now, shouldn't this be common sense to any guy, without anyone needing to explain it to him? The term "empathy" comes to mind as the ability to see the world and to see issues from another perspective than our own. No surprise that empathy is lacking on all fronts these days, including how we conduct ourselves in public.

In my neighbourhood, the hot chicks I see are more likely to be 15 or 16 years old...because I live a half a block away from a high school. But, I hope no average middle-aged guys need to be told that you shouldn't be staring up and down a 16 year old girl! I could be wrong though. When it comes to women closer to our ages, same rules apply....staring and reacting to staring is primal.

Men should have at least an inkling of understanding of how a woman might feel if some strange guy is staring at her when we think about how we interpret some guy staring at us. When I see some guy staring at me, I'll look aside, since it might be coincidence or accidental. If I look back and see him still staring at me, then it's business! I'm going to say 'what the f*** are you looking at.' And it either builds into something, or it doesn't. Staring is an act of intimidation, and when a man stares at a woman and doesn't make any attempt to look away...even if he says nothing verbally...he is saying that he has the right to check her over, and possibly go from there and see if he can make small talk or try some other stupid approach. If she was actually interested in him, he would have got enough cues already so that he wouldn't have to make an ass of himself...but, such is life.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 12:40 pm

recovering conservative;1460448 wrote: ... I hope no average middle-aged guys need to be told that you shouldn't be staring up and down a 16 year old girl!

Uuuuh .....

recovering conservative;1460448 wrote: I could be wrong though.

I don't think so.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 12:44 pm

What else don't I like? When a man, particularly an older guy, not only stares at a young woman lecherously, but when she walks past him, he is compelled to do a total turnabout to continue to stare at her backside until she's out of sight. I'm not going to call it rude behavior, he looks like a big jerk.

Gill, one of the last times a stranger really "came on" was in Manhattan & this car stops at a red light, I pass by & he yells out his window, loudly, "Babeee, I want to marry you!" We both looked at each other, saw the humor in it & we both laughed our heads off. I really enjoyed that encounter.

I look! People look at other people, thank goodness. I look at men, I look at women & girls, I appreciate an appealing person. But my eyes are straight & my tongue is IN my mouth!

Oh, I did hate it when guys looked at me & licked their lips. Yuck!

FourPart · Post by **FourPart** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 12:51 pm

It's the Building Site Workers' Syndrome.

LarryAllen · Post by **LarryAllen** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 12:52 pm

Well, I certainly appreciate the lines of a well-turned leg, and all that, but it is, indeed the same as my appreciation of a beautiful car, or the like. I never even think of doing anything more than enjoy the view. And apparently, women sometimes find me attractive, or at least, my wife says they do. She has actually told me when a women was flirting with me, as I never seem to pick up on those 'clues'.

I think it is just part of the natural order of things. We should be able to appreciate good-looking people without it actually having to "mean something"

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 1:22 pm

FourPart;1460456 wrote: It's the Building Site Workers' Syndrome.

That's true. You could always claim, "It wasn't me who said it! It was him!"

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 1:25 pm

LarryAllen;1460457 wrote: .... but it is, indeed the same as my appreciation of a beautiful car ...

I wonder which is more dangerous .... touching a man's car or "coping a feel" from his lady? I suppose it depends upon what sort of car it is. :sneaky:

Post by **LarsMac** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 1:55 pm

High Threshold;1460463 wrote: I wonder which is more dangerous .... touching a man's car or "coping a feel" from his lady? I suppose it depends upon what sort of car it is. :sneaky:

I've known guys who would break your face for touching their car, but they are too busy playing around to notice if you mess with their woman.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:09 pm

LarsMac;1460471 wrote: I've known guys who would break your face for touching their car, but they are too busy playing around to notice if you mess with their woman.

& I've known the opposite & I've known men who would break your face for either or both. They just like to break face; they look for a reason.

Saint_ · Post by **Saint_** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:13 pm

AnneBoleyn;1460426 wrote: Don't move your head, just glance with your eyes without moving them. Otherwise, you look foolish & obnoxious.

LOL! Said the woman who has no idea what testosterone does. That's like me telling you to walk without swaying your hips.

Post by **LarsMac** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:21 pm

AnneBoleyn;1460473 wrote: & I've known the opposite & I've known men who would break your face for either or both. They just like to break face; they look for a reason.

Yup, I've known a few of them, too.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:23 pm

Saint_;1460474 wrote: LOL! Said the woman who has no idea what testosterone does. That's like me telling you to walk without swaying your hips.

A woman CAN walk without swaying her hips. The women you see doing that have acquired it, consciously. As a woman, & an observer, I know very well what testosterone does.

Saint_ · Post by **Saint_** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:24 pm

Here's a compilation of men looking stupid...

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:29 pm

Saint_;1460480 wrote: Here's a compilation of men looking stupid...

Wonderful! That guy thought he was sooooo irresistible! Doesn't he know any woman who responds to that is a hooker? Or maybe he doesn't care!

Post by **Chloe_88** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:36 pm

Saint_;1460480 wrote: Here's a compilation of men looking stupid...

:yh_rotfl !

Post by **LarsMac** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:37 pm

Saint_;1460480 wrote: Here's a compilation of men looking stupid...

Classics

FourPart · Post by **FourPart** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:37 pm

Women have testosterone too (although I've never fully understood how).

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:38 pm

FourPart;1460486 wrote: Women have testosterone too (although I've never fully understood how).
& men have estrogen.

FourPart · Post by **FourPart** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:39 pm

AnneBoleyn;1460487 wrote: & men have estrogen.
I know that if a man takes a pregnancy test it will come out as Positive.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:52 pm

FourPart;1460488 wrote: I know that if a man takes a pregnancy test it will come out as Positive.
I thought that's only true if the male has testicular cancer.

FourPart · Post by **FourPart** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 3:14 pm

I thought it was something to do with the Oestrogen levels. However, further Googling showed that it could be connected to hormones released by cancers (not necessarily testicular cancer), and not even restricted to cancer at all. Even a perfectly healthy man can produce positive readings - it all depends on his hormone levels.

It seems that the whole thing about it being a test for testicular cancer came about by someone testing himself, coming out positive & then finding a tumour. This went wild on Social Media, but as with most things released on SM, often without any hard evidence, and often dangerous if relied on.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 3:25 pm

Yes, you must take great care for what you trust in Social Media.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 8:53 pm

LarsMac;1460471 wrote: I've known guys who would break your face for touching their car, but they are too busy playing around to notice if you mess with their woman.

Well, what about these "swingers" or wife swappers, whatever they're called. You can bounce their wives but don't park too close to their Volvo in the parking lot outside the place!

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 8:58 pm

Saint_;1460474 wrote: LOL! Said the woman who has no idea what testosterone does.

Reminds me of the time I was in hospital and had to have a catheter. I was grimacing and sqirming all over the place while it was going in so the female nurse who administered the thing told me, "Oh for God's sake, it can't be that bad!" I told her "Yeah? Let's see yours!"

recovering conservative · Tue Jul 22, 2014 1:46 am

AnneBoleyn;1460453 wrote: What else don't I like? When a man, particularly an older guy, not only stares at a young woman lecherously, but when she walks past him, he is compelled to do a total turnabout to continue to stare at her backside until she's out of sight.
Ummm, that could be me. I'm with the Brazilians...that most of a woman's beauty is from the waist down. I don't get the breast obsession that most American (and Canadian) men have either!

I'm not going to call it rude behavior, he looks like a big jerk.

What if he has gone to great lengths to disguise his actions. for example:

Likely because of early stage glaucoma, my eyes are highly light-sensitive, so I'm always wearing sunglasses during the daytime...even on overcast days. On sunny days, that usually means my dark pair of mirrored sports sunglasses when I'm out walking my dog. Someone would have to be very observant to see my eyes, and my dog is great cover when I want to get that 2nd glance as she walks by...since he goes about with his nose to the ground, and I let him wander a bit along the park trail. I can easily disguise that 2nd look as pulling my dog back towards me....he'll never know what a great assistant he's been over the last 10 years!

I look! People look at other people, thank goodness. I look at men, I look at women & girls, I appreciate an appealing person. But my eyes are straight & my tongue is IN my mouth!
Earlier, I mentioned staring...not looking. It may be okay to look, but if a guy is looking...and looking....and looking...and the girl is obviously avoiding eye contact with him, it's time to buy a clue and get lost!

Last year, I was out for a run on a hot summer day, when I was approaching (and noticing) a young woman with a great body walking along the other side of the street......and then, I saw my face in her pocket mirror! Busted! I was okay with glancing over and checking her out...just not with getting caught doing it. I picked up the pace and kept on my way.

Oh, I did hate it when guys looked at me & licked their lips. Yuck!
At least I can say that was never my style, even when I was younger!

recovering conservative · Tue Jul 22, 2014 2:01 am

AnneBoleyn;1460487 wrote: & men have estrogen.

Which should put an end to the "Men Are From Mars/Women From Venus" BS that implies we are almost different enough to qualify as separate species. There are no exclusively male and female hormones...just different quantities in most men and women....most that is! It's estimated that up to 2% of the general population may be transgendered to some degree, with a much smaller percentage having female and male genitalia.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 4:12 am

Saint_;1460480 wrote: Here's a compilation of men looking stupid...

Hilarious ! Thanks for sharing, Saint.

FourPart · Post by **FourPart** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 4:55 am

I'm a naturist & as such am not bothered by any part of the naked body. It is what it is, and that's all there is to it. The strange thing is in the way that hiding certain areas of it, with the minimum amount of material is supposed to instil some additional part of sexual allure.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 5:27 am

recovering conservative;1460513 wrote: ..... It may be okay to look, but if a guy is looking...and looking....and looking...and the girl is obviously avoiding eye contact with him, it's time to buy a clue and get lost!

AnneBoleyn;1460453 wrote: ... I did hate it when guys looked at me & licked their lips. Yuck!

What? Has no one ever heard of recognising someone you think you know on a hot parched summer's day? â€¦.. LOOK â€¦.. LICK.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 5:32 am

FourPart;1460519 wrote: The strange thing is in the way that hiding certain areas of it, with the minimum amount of material is supposed to instil some additional part of sexual allure.

Hmmmmmmm. I was thinking more on the lines of silly-cone tits, botox lips, high-heeled shoes, and Karl Lagerfeld's collar.

FourPart · Post by **FourPart** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 1:49 pm

High Threshold;1460527 wrote: Hmmmmmmm. I was thinking more on the lines of silly-cone tits, botox lips, high-heeled shoes, and Karl Lagerfeld's collar.
Have you looked at a pensioner's feet & seen what damage years of vanity causes?

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 2:57 pm

FourPart;1460566 wrote: Have you looked at a pensioner's feet & seen what damage years of vanity causes?

You'll not see that with my feet, FourPart ! I could never get on with high heels and wore 'court shoes' very rarely, so I have straight, healthy toes (no corns, bunions etc.) . At the moment I am wearing velcro fastened sandals, in fact I wear sandals most of the year even in winter. 'Screwed up' toes are rather ugly to look at.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:43 pm

FourPart;1460566 wrote: Have you looked at a pensioner's feet & seen what damage years of vanity causes?

Well, not to put too fine a point on it yes, I see my feet every day. But perhaps you're speaking about women who look to fashionable foot-wear?

An acquaintance of mine back in Rhodesia spotted a fetching creature clacking past us wearing high-heeled shoes one day. He commented on her beauty then added, "There's something about high-heeled shoes that do something to a woman's figure!" "Yes", I said, "ruins it!" He wasn't pleased.

I have never, ever understood why women would voluntarily subject themselves to a daily, painful, physical handicap. I can only imagine what polio sufferers are thinking about it - themselves hobbling along in corrective shoes, they too summoning all of their strength just to keep their balance.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:54 pm

G#Gill;1460576 wrote: You'll not see that with my feet, FourPart ! I could never get on with high heels and wore 'court shoes' very rarely, so I have straight, healthy toes (no corns, bunions etc.) . At the moment I am wearing velcro fastened sandals, in fact I wear sandals most of the year even in winter. 'Screwed up' toes are rather ugly to look at.

I knew you were a kindred spirit the moment I laid me eyes on you - though not â€œlike a drooling dogâ€ - â€œstaring up and downâ€ - â€œstaring lecherouslyâ€ - â€œ licking my lipsâ€ - or any of the other points thus far covered in this thread. :wah:

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Wed Jul 23, 2014 8:01 am

High Threshold;1460584 wrote: I knew you were a kindred spirit the moment I laid me eyes on you - though not â€œlike a drooling dogâ€ - â€œstaring up and downâ€ - â€œstaring lecherouslyâ€ - â€œ licking my lipsâ€ - or any of the other points thus far covered in this thread. :wah:
Just using Poetic License HT.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Wed Jul 23, 2014 8:26 am

AnneBoleyn;1460621 wrote: Just using Poetic License HT.

I suspect you've got a life-time membership, dear Anne.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Wed Jul 23, 2014 9:27 am

High Threshold;1460626 wrote: I suspect you've got a life-time membership, dear Anne.

Quite. I'm so artistic, you know.