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An old woman is going up in a lift in a very lavish department store when a young beautiful woman gets in smelling of expensive sent. She turns to the old lady and arrogantely says Romance by ralph lauren....$100 a bottle

Another young woman gets into the lift also smelling of expensive sent and turns to the old woman and says Channel no 5 $150 a bottle

A few floors later the old woman reached her destination as she looks both women in the eyes she turns around bends over and farts saying Broccoli 25p a pound

Two guys are sitting at a bar talking and one guy asks the other guy, "Man, do you ever have a Freudian slip?"

"What are you talking about?" says the other guy.

"Well I was at the airport the other day and one of the clerks had really big tits, and I meant to say, 'Could I have two tickets to Pittsburgh,' but I accidentally said, 'Could I have have two tickets to Titsburgh."

The other guy says, "Oh yeah! I know what you're talking about! I was sitting at the dinner table with my wife the other day and I meant to say, 'Could you pass the salt please,' but instead I said, 'Bitch you ruined my life!"

Two great jokes! Do you know the one about the tramp whistling God Save the Queen? Have you heard it before? You should have - it`s the National Anthem!