here's a curly one for ya's what do you think?
Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 7:29 pm
A mate of mine' son died recently on holiday to Thailand. His mother went over to retrieve his body but instead of bringing his body back, she had him cremated over there. At first I thought 'yeah that's okay probably didn't have the money to bring him back' and that's fair enough. But I've since had a turn of attitude over the last few weeks. (I hope I'm not being too hard in a time of others grief.)
Last week they had a memorial service for him in my state. No ashes/body to be seen. anyone who bought flowers were disappointed because those were relegated to a room at the back "because he wasn't into such things" according to his mother. which I believe is wrong because that's how some express their sympathy and grief.
At this point his father still has no idea where his sons' ashes are. (mum and dad have been split for over 15 years and it's not a warm co existence) . His father during a very long service was mentioned twice and only one photo shown of them together. Which the extended family went ape **** about and have now decided all niceties are now over and done with. (the family was always warm and extended invites to all family gatherings to the mother, to the extent where the father stopped going to them because she would be there ) ....So.......
the other day they find out there is another memorial service in a northern city of Australia for the son's mates and family up that side of the world to attend, Still Father has no idea where his boy is . So there is an agreement that father and a couple of mates attend this memorial as well. Quite a few from my state are also there. (the son's mates of way back when he grew up here) .
All has been done now ..........and still father has no idea where his son is or where they are going to scatter the ashes.
Is it just me or is this a horrible situation? Can people really do this? I hate with a passion my ex, but he still has a right to know where his kids remains are surely? And this behaviour has me kind of speculating on why the boys body was cremated. Am I pulling a long bow in saying that his mother wanted to make sure she was the last to see him? He died of a heart attack surely he was still okay to look upon at a later point back in this country so his father could morn his son. But it seems to me that this man is enduring his son being there one minute and completely disappeared the next. I just get the feeling that this is all wrong .
Last week they had a memorial service for him in my state. No ashes/body to be seen. anyone who bought flowers were disappointed because those were relegated to a room at the back "because he wasn't into such things" according to his mother. which I believe is wrong because that's how some express their sympathy and grief.
At this point his father still has no idea where his sons' ashes are. (mum and dad have been split for over 15 years and it's not a warm co existence) . His father during a very long service was mentioned twice and only one photo shown of them together. Which the extended family went ape **** about and have now decided all niceties are now over and done with. (the family was always warm and extended invites to all family gatherings to the mother, to the extent where the father stopped going to them because she would be there ) ....So.......
the other day they find out there is another memorial service in a northern city of Australia for the son's mates and family up that side of the world to attend, Still Father has no idea where his boy is . So there is an agreement that father and a couple of mates attend this memorial as well. Quite a few from my state are also there. (the son's mates of way back when he grew up here) .
All has been done now ..........and still father has no idea where his son is or where they are going to scatter the ashes.
Is it just me or is this a horrible situation? Can people really do this? I hate with a passion my ex, but he still has a right to know where his kids remains are surely? And this behaviour has me kind of speculating on why the boys body was cremated. Am I pulling a long bow in saying that his mother wanted to make sure she was the last to see him? He died of a heart attack surely he was still okay to look upon at a later point back in this country so his father could morn his son. But it seems to me that this man is enduring his son being there one minute and completely disappeared the next. I just get the feeling that this is all wrong .