The Continuing Saga of Flat Nose Adonis The Parable of Fat Boy Little Man
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 8:39 am
On a small island in the English Channel, a very wise man lives in a hole in a wall. He is a monk and his name is Manowl which is pronounced Manowl.
Manowl is sought out and consulted by those who yearn to find the true meaning of life or who seek the answer to a question for which they cannot find the answer.
He may be consulted at any time during the year except during the Easter egg hunt on Lihou Island which is pronounced /’li:u;/ and not Lihue which is pronounced li:’hu?e and which is the second largest town on the Hawaiian Island Kaua’i, as this is when Manowl leaves the hole in the wall to stock up on hot dogs, cakes and tea.
Now Flat Nose Adonis wanted to find out the true meaning of the parable about Fat Boy and Little Man, so he set out in search of Manowl in much the same way that Vasco Da Gama did when he went out in search of the sea route to India, except Flat Nose Adonis didn’t travel by sailing ship and he didn’t set out from Portugal. Flat Nose used a dinghy and he set out from Guernsey.
Flat Nose soon found a small island in the English Channel and just knew this was the place he would find Manowl. The reason he knew he would find the monk Manowl on this particular island was because there wasn’t a long queue winding all the way down to the causeway. Very few people knew of or knew the whereabouts of Manowl, so Flat Nose knew that no queue meant he was at the correct location. He parked his dinghy and walked up the hill just like Jack had done.
A portly man with long ginger hair and wearing a black padded bra and a kilt and carrying a large, rather heavy looking sack stood gazing at a hole in the wall..
“Morning.” Flat Nose said politely.
“Ar.”
“What’s in your sack?”
“Why’s your nose flat?”
“I asked first.” Flat Nose pointed our quite correctly.
“Ar. One hundred stork heads.” Bra & Kilt replied. “Manowl likes to eat the brains out their heads.”
“Really? How do you know that?”
“Your turn to answer me first.”
“What was the question again?” asked Flat Nose.
“You nose.” B&K answered and touched his bulbous red snork with his forefinger, “why’s it flat?”
“It’s because of my name.” Flat Nose replied. “I’m Flat Nose Adonis.”
“Pleased to meet you.”
“Likewise.”
“You have to bring a tribute or he won’t give you the answer.” B&K said. “You look empty handed to me, ‘cept for yonoar you have under your left arm.”
“Yonoar.” Flat Nose said then gave a giggle. “Oh this … no this isn’t a yonoar your honour.”
“What tis then?” B&K asked.
“It’s for knocking mangoes of trees.”
“Tis a mangoar then?”
“Yes a mangoar for Manowl. By the way, what’s your name? I can’t keep calling you B&K.”
“Shamus Caruthers Ulrich McFinn,” B&K replied, “but most folk just call me Scum for short.”
“When does he come out the hole?” Flat Nose asked.
“Never.” Scum answered, shifting his sack from one shoulder to the next. “He’s just a voice see.”
“Why don’t you put the sack down?” Flat Nose asked. “One hundred stork heads must be quite heavy.”
“Can’t see. Stork heads spoil quickly when they touch this damp ground.”
"Oh ... okay."
TBC.
Manowl is sought out and consulted by those who yearn to find the true meaning of life or who seek the answer to a question for which they cannot find the answer.
He may be consulted at any time during the year except during the Easter egg hunt on Lihou Island which is pronounced /’li:u;/ and not Lihue which is pronounced li:’hu?e and which is the second largest town on the Hawaiian Island Kaua’i, as this is when Manowl leaves the hole in the wall to stock up on hot dogs, cakes and tea.
Now Flat Nose Adonis wanted to find out the true meaning of the parable about Fat Boy and Little Man, so he set out in search of Manowl in much the same way that Vasco Da Gama did when he went out in search of the sea route to India, except Flat Nose Adonis didn’t travel by sailing ship and he didn’t set out from Portugal. Flat Nose used a dinghy and he set out from Guernsey.
Flat Nose soon found a small island in the English Channel and just knew this was the place he would find Manowl. The reason he knew he would find the monk Manowl on this particular island was because there wasn’t a long queue winding all the way down to the causeway. Very few people knew of or knew the whereabouts of Manowl, so Flat Nose knew that no queue meant he was at the correct location. He parked his dinghy and walked up the hill just like Jack had done.
A portly man with long ginger hair and wearing a black padded bra and a kilt and carrying a large, rather heavy looking sack stood gazing at a hole in the wall..
“Morning.” Flat Nose said politely.
“Ar.”
“What’s in your sack?”
“Why’s your nose flat?”
“I asked first.” Flat Nose pointed our quite correctly.
“Ar. One hundred stork heads.” Bra & Kilt replied. “Manowl likes to eat the brains out their heads.”
“Really? How do you know that?”
“Your turn to answer me first.”
“What was the question again?” asked Flat Nose.
“You nose.” B&K answered and touched his bulbous red snork with his forefinger, “why’s it flat?”
“It’s because of my name.” Flat Nose replied. “I’m Flat Nose Adonis.”
“Pleased to meet you.”
“Likewise.”
“You have to bring a tribute or he won’t give you the answer.” B&K said. “You look empty handed to me, ‘cept for yonoar you have under your left arm.”
“Yonoar.” Flat Nose said then gave a giggle. “Oh this … no this isn’t a yonoar your honour.”
“What tis then?” B&K asked.
“It’s for knocking mangoes of trees.”
“Tis a mangoar then?”
“Yes a mangoar for Manowl. By the way, what’s your name? I can’t keep calling you B&K.”
“Shamus Caruthers Ulrich McFinn,” B&K replied, “but most folk just call me Scum for short.”
“When does he come out the hole?” Flat Nose asked.
“Never.” Scum answered, shifting his sack from one shoulder to the next. “He’s just a voice see.”
“Why don’t you put the sack down?” Flat Nose asked. “One hundred stork heads must be quite heavy.”
“Can’t see. Stork heads spoil quickly when they touch this damp ground.”
"Oh ... okay."
TBC.