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Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 3:41 pm
by Oscar Namechange
I seem to see It every day.

People barging to the front of the queue.

Pregnant women strap hanging on the bus while some Idle lard arsse takes up a seat.

Even parents collecting kids from the school next door actually parking In some-one's drive. etc etc etc

Tonight, and not for the first time, I was asked how much money I earn.

Now that was an absolute social gaff once upon a time.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:14 pm
by Snooz
I've asked men how much they weigh before but then I'm socially awkward.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:23 pm
by Bruv
Is society loses social graces ?

And writing skills ?

Sorry couldn't resist.

Social graces ?

Used to be called common courtesy, or good manners ?

Trouble is we are ALL equal and pals together, no sexism, no ageism, everybody is liberated.

If you open a door for a lady, she might just barge past without a by your leave or snarl at you for thinking she is too weak to open it herself.

You just can't win

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:28 pm
by Oscar Namechange
Bruv;1386527 wrote: Is society loses social graces ?

And writing skills ?

Sorry couldn't resist.

Social graces ?

Used to be called common courtesy, or good manners ?

Trouble is we are ALL equal and pals together, no sexism, no ageism, everybody is liberated.

If you open a door for a lady, she might just barge past without a by your leave or snarl at you for thinking she is too weak to open it herself.

You just can't win


Ahhhh Those were the days.

Harry Enfield - Women know your limits - YouTube

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:30 pm
by Snooz
I can't imagine not thanking someone for holding the door... although I've held the door for a few men at work that didn't bother to thank me. I don't hold it for them anymore.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:30 pm
by Snooz
The door, that is. I don't bother holding the door.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:34 pm
by theia
SnoozeAgain;1386531 wrote: The door, that is. I don't bother holding the door.


:yh_rotfl

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:36 pm
by Oscar Namechange
Very recently I was In a busy street and In the middle of the road were three young children. They had got halfway across and cars were still flying past them, not pulling up for 10 seconds to let them cross. Worse, there were women walking along the street watching this Ignoring them. My husband got Into the road and forced the traffic to stop. At least the kids thanked him.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:42 pm
by Betty Boop
SnoozeAgain;1386531 wrote: The door, that is. I don't bother holding the door.


I'm glad you cleared that up :wah:

Driving is the time I notice people often don't offer a gesture of thanks when you give way to them. Especially on the hill where I live, it's not the easiest to navigate and the old rule of always giving way to those coming up hill just doesn't work in some parts of it. At peak times of day it has to be a matter of give and take or the whole hill just grinds to a halt. I've inched my way into tiny spaces to allow others to move down when they should have stayed put and let some traffic up, you're never thanked, just glared at. At the end of the day everyone is just more interested in where they're going and how to get there as quick as possible, and bugger everyone that may be in their way :wah: I smile and wave thanks to those who don't thank me.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:58 pm
by Oscar Namechange
I'll never forget the day we came home at the time of day, parents pick the kids up from school next door and we found a parent had parked In our drive !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, WTF !!!!!!! Someone's private drive for gods sake, can you believe It !!!!!

Anyway, we parked across the drive broadside so It was completely stuck. She was obviously up the school so she would have had no Idea who the car belonged to.

About 15 minutes later, she rang our doorbell and we Ignored It... What followed, was her frantically running up to all and sundry asking 'Is that your car?' Then she started banging on neighbours doors. We sat Indoors for a good 45 minutes ( laughing ) before going out to move It. She went beserk and said she was calling the police. We pointed out that It was a private road and there-fore the road traffic act did not apply. I smiled nicely at her as I explained that If she ever parked In my drive again, she would never get her car back.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 5:11 pm
by Lon
Social graces & courtesy have gone out the window with the advent of everyone seemingly on a cell phone, blackberry, I Pod, I Pad, laptop, et.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 5:18 pm
by Betty Boop
My daughter's primary school has a circular area all marked out just inside the school gates. Parents are encouraged to drive in, pull over, let the child out then carefully drive out again. There are designated areas for the children to cross, cars are not permitted in these areas at the beginning and end of the day. There's a small collection of idiotic mothers and fathers who constantly insist on parking and leaving their cars in the drop off zones and in the crossing areas. The school has finally had enough of repeatedly requesting that parents do not park within this area, from the end of this term the gates will be closed. It will be a nightmare because of those few idiots who are too lazy to walk their children a bit further than they have to. Traffic will no longer flow in and out, there will be chaos with cars having to reverse up to head back out of the street in an area where many children cross the street to get to the gates.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 5:23 pm
by Betty Boop
Every Christmas, and birthday, one of your presents would be thank you cards and you'd have to spend at least a day writing thank you notes to everyone. No one does that any more.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 5:33 pm
by Oscar Namechange
Betty Boop;1386547 wrote: Every Christmas, and birthday, one of your presents would be thank you cards and you'd have to spend at least a day writing thank you notes to everyone. No one does that any more.


The children In my family do. I get so thrilled when I get their thank you letters that I send them a card back thanking them for taking the trouble.

As for your former post re: parent parking.

I have spent the last year, even giving a speech In chambers to the full council on the problems we have.

I won't bore you with It all because It has Involved committee's being formed and budgeting etc etc... but the upshot was that we won and we got the council to carry out some new measures. The school next door to us Is In a very small Cul-De-Sac of just 20 houses and Is a dead end. Once these parents drive In, more cars come In behind them and then they can't get out again. Then they start reversing Into residents drives damaging property.

Finally about 6 weeks ago, the council came out and put yellow zig zags down one side of the road.

On the other side, they replaced a green area with grass crete for residents parking only. This left an area no bigger than three cars for turning round only. Did the parents use this for turning round only ? NO... they started trying to park In It :-5

It Is now chaos out there at 3pm due to lard arsse's trying to park as near to the school gates as possible rather than use the designated car park on the other side of the school which means walking a few yards from the car park.

Now, the council are going to have to put signs up stating No waiting etc.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 5:45 pm
by Betty Boop
oscar;1386548 wrote: The children In my family do. I get so thrilled when I get their thank you letters that I send them a card back thanking them for taking the trouble.

As for your former post re: parent parking.

I have spent the last year, even giving a speech In chambers to the full council on the problems we have.

I won't bore you with It all because It has Involved committee's being formed and budgeting etc etc... but the upshot was that we won and we got the council to carry out some new measures. The school next door to us Is In a very small Cul-De-Sac of just 20 houses and Is a dead end. Once these parents drive In, more cars come In behind them and then they can't get out again. Then they start reversing Into residents drives damaging property.

Finally about 6 weeks ago, the council came out and put yellow zig zags down one side of the road.

On the other side, they replaced a green area with grass crete for residents parking only. This left an area no bigger than three cars for turning round only. Did the parents use this for turning round only ? NO... they started trying to park In It :-5

It Is now chaos out there at 3pm due to lard arsse's trying to park as near to the school gates as possible rather than use the designated car park on the other side of the school which means walking a few yards from the car park.

Now, the council are going to have to put signs up stating No waiting etc.


Yellow zig zags won't stop them just as no waiting signs won't. Generally it's not too bad as a lot of people that live in the village walk, it's hell on earth around the school when it's raining though. Just realised that next year will be my last year for the primary run (for a while) Yaaaay!

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 5:51 pm
by Oscar Namechange
Betty Boop;1386550 wrote: Yellow zig zags won't stop them just as no waiting signs won't. Generally it's not too bad as a lot of people that live in the village walk, it's hell on earth around the school when it's raining though. Just realised that next year will be my last year for the primary run (for a while) Yaaaay! In between the zigs zags, they have marked 'Keep Clear' That seems to have worked.

Yes, It's a perenial problem. At our first committee meeting with Highways and Byways, the head teacher rather snootilly announced she had done a survey and 70 % of her parents walked their children to school. She thought she had been so clever until I Insisted on knowing the month she took the survey.... JUNE !!!! I then Insisted she did the same survey Mid December... Now get this and I swear I'm not making this up...... She then added... 'Well, If residents parked In the next road Instead of outside their homes, there wouldn't be so much gridlock'

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 5:57 pm
by Betty Boop
oscar;1386552 wrote: In between the zigs zags, they have marked 'Keep Clear' That seems to have worked.

Yes, It's a perenial problem. At our first committee meeting with Highways and Byways, the head teacher rather snootilly announced she had done a survey and 70 % of her parents walked their children to school. She thought she had been so clever until I Insisted on knowing the month she took the survey.... JUNE !!!! I then Insisted she did the same survey Mid December...


Sounds like it could have been 'walk to school' week as well :wah:

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 6:01 pm
by Betty Boop
Calling virtually the whole community Aunty and Uncle because they were friends of your parents.

Nowadays my nephews call me by my name, no pre-fix of Aunty, I think it was maybe because I was quite young when they came along. My brother strongly objects to being called Uncle and my children address my sister by her first name too. Maybe we've done the wrong thing by dropping the pre-fix.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 6:04 pm
by Oscar Namechange
Betty Boop;1386556 wrote: Calling virtually the whole community Aunty and Uncle because they were friends of your parents.

Nowadays my nephews call me by my name, no pre-fix of Aunty, I think it was maybe because I was quite young when they came along. My brother strongly objects to being called Uncle and my children address my sister by her first name too. Maybe we've done the wrong thing by dropping the pre-fix. Nope, I am Auntie Julie to all of them. I like It.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 6:09 pm
by Betty Boop
oscar;1386557 wrote: Nope, I am Auntie Julie to all of them. I like It.


I have to admit, I didn't like it back when I was a teenager and I don't like it now, being called Aunt makes me feel around 80 :wah:

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 6:20 pm
by Oscar Namechange
Betty Boop;1386559 wrote: I have to admit, I didn't like it back when I was a teenager and I don't like it now, being called Aunt makes me feel around 80 :wah:


I prefer Auntie to 'Yo, wht's happnin bitch? :wah:

Another thing that seems to be lost these days.

Sitting down to eat at the table as a family. Asking for permission to leave the tabele and then before you do, thanking your mother for a lovely meal.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 6:27 pm
by Betty Boop
oscar;1386560 wrote: I prefer Auntie to 'Yo, wht's happnin bitch? :wah:

Another thing that seems to be lost these days.

Sitting down to eat at the table as a family. Asking for permission to leave the tabele and then before you do, thanking your mother for a lovely meal.


My children are expected to say 'please may we leave the table' at the end of a meal, as well as remove their plate to the kitchen.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 6:39 pm
by Betty Boop
With the advent of facebook, I'm kind of fed up of all the aggressive status' that there are. Women asserting that 'people had better not mess with this bitch' etc etc here's another that appeared today, why all the aggression, what's the point?

Attached files

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 6:47 pm
by Oscar Namechange
Betty Boop;1386563 wrote: With the advent of facebook, I'm kind of fed up of all the aggressive status' that there are. Women asserting that 'people had better not mess with this bitch' etc etc here's another that appeared today, why all the aggression, what's the point?
Couldn't agree more.

There are also forums littered with the pseudo aggressivness. Anyone who ever spouts those words... Look at me, I'm a right hard nut me' Is usually some complete tosser. Along with those other people who spout at every turn... Me and all my mates were cracking up'.... What that usually means Is .... ' I wish I had a mate'.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 12:44 am
by jones jones
Could be that with the advent of the Internet and a personal computer in most homes, many children today no longer interact with people in the "real world." The line between reality and fantasy has perhaps become so blurred that they don't know how to speak to and behave around real people.

Or it could be that many parents no longer teach their children manners.

Or probably because the good old fashioned "clip around the earhole" has been outlawed

as child abuse.



"You who are on the road

Must have a code that you can live by

And so become yourself

Because the past is just a good bye.

Teach your children well,

Their father's hell did slowly go by,

And feed them on your dreams

The one they picked, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,

So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

And you, of tender years,

Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,

And so please help them with your youth,

They seek the truth before they can die.



Can you hear and do you care and

Cant you see we must be free to

Teach your children what you believe in.

Make a world that we can live in.

Teach your parents well,

Their children's hell will slowly go by,

And feed them on your dreams

The one they picked, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,

So just look at them and sigh and know they love you."

Crosby Stills Nash Young.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 12:46 am
by koan
Definitely! It's all the rage to attack youths nowadays. Despicable really. Very antisocial.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 2:53 am
by Oscar Namechange
jones jones;1386592 wrote: Could be that with the advent of the Internet and a personal computer in most homes, many children today no longer interact with people in the "real world." The line between reality and fantasy has perhaps become so blurred that they don't know how to speak to and behave around real people.

Or it could be that many parents no longer teach their children manners.

Or probably because the good old fashioned "clip around the earhole" has been outlawed

as child abuse.



"You who are on the road

Must have a code that you can live by

And so become yourself

Because the past is just a good bye.

Teach your children well,

Their father's hell did slowly go by,

And feed them on your dreams

The one they picked, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,

So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

And you, of tender years,

Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,

And so please help them with your youth,

They seek the truth before they can die.



Can you hear and do you care and

Cant you see we must be free to

Teach your children what you believe in.

Make a world that we can live in.

Teach your parents well,

Their children's hell will slowly go by,

And feed them on your dreams

The one they picked, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,

So just look at them and sigh and know they love you."

Crosby Stills Nash Young.


You make a very good point JJ as did Lon earlier.

I find here, It's not so much kids and teenagers most times, It's the middled aged adults that seem to express some of the most appalling behaviour. My husband calls It the ' me me me' society.

My Father had a word of advice....

" The greatest gifts to give a child are your time and happy memories."

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 3:07 am
by koan
The most appalling behaviour I've witnessed recently has been from the elderly trying to get their goddamn photostats and wishing nobody else in the world existed with their modern behaviour of lining up.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 3:33 am
by koan

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 6:45 am
by Oscar Namechange
Nothing worse than seeing middle aged parents using profanities In front of their kids because they think It gives them a psuedo hip and down with the kids on the block persona..... While the rest of the world thinks they're ridiculous.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 6:53 am
by Snooz
oscar;1386566 wrote: 'Look at me, I'm a right hard nut me'


I would never say that but it's tempting to put it on my wall to see the reactions to it. :wah:

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 6:58 am
by Oscar Namechange
SnoozeAgain;1386625 wrote: I would never say that but it's tempting to put it on my wall to see the reactions to it. :wah: It's often heard In England... Usually In pubs after a couple of pints.

Wait until closing and you'll hear...... 'Leave It Dave, he aint worth It'

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 7:10 am
by jones jones
Is this like just before the posturing begins ... "Say that again and I'll knock your effing head off! Go on, say it again!"

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 7:13 am
by Oscar Namechange
jones jones;1386630 wrote: Is this like just before the posturing begins ... "Say that again and I'll knock your effing head off! Go on, say it again!" That's It !!!!

Only with me.. I don't give them the option of saying It again.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 7:19 am
by jones jones
oscar;1386632 wrote: That's It !!!!

Only with me.. I don't give them the option of saying It again.


Always good to get the first swing in! :yh_rotfl

Did you ever see the movie "Cool Hand Luke?"

Paul Newman says to this like giant he's gonna fight. "Wait! We gotta get the rules straight first."

"What rules?" asks giant.

Paul Newman kicks him in the nuts!

End of fight! :wah:

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 7:22 am
by Oscar Namechange
jones jones;1386633 wrote: Always good to get the first swing in! :yh_rotfl

Did you ever see the movie "Cool Hand Luke?"

Paul Newman says to this like giant he's gonna fight. "Wait! We gotta get the rules straight first."

"What rules?" asks giant.

Paul Newman kicks him in the nuts!

End of fight! :wah:
I saw that... Yeah, brilliant !!!

Pubs are different to the English football matches where you'll here:

'Come over here If you think you're hard enough'

' Who are you, who are you'?

Ending with:

' You're going home In a ****ing ambulance'

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 7:38 am
by jones jones
And I guess that maybe most of the guys with the big mouths maybe get them closed by the missus?

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 7:41 am
by Oscar Namechange
jones jones;1386637 wrote: And I guess that maybe most of the guys with the big mouths maybe get them closed by the missus?


No, that IS the missus yelling " You're going home In a ****ing ambulance'

:yh_rotfl

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 7:46 am
by jones jones
oscar;1386639 wrote: No, that IS the missus yelling " You're going home In a ****ing ambulance'

:yh_rotfl


I knew it! That is soooooooo coohil!

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 10:37 am
by YZGI
jones jones;1386633 wrote: Always good to get the first swing in! :yh_rotfl

Did you ever see the movie "Cool Hand Luke?"

Paul Newman says to this like giant he's gonna fight. "Wait! We gotta get the rules straight first."

"What rules?" asks giant.

Paul Newman kicks him in the nuts!

End of fight! :wah:


That was actually in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Butch is fighting the big guy for who is going to run the gang. John Wayne did a similar action in Chisum when a guy wanted to fight one of his cattleman.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 11:00 am
by Bruv
Or famously Indiana Jones.......................


Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 12:10 pm
by YZGI
Bruv;1386679 wrote: Or famously Indiana Jones.......................




How American of him..LOL

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 12:19 pm
by Bruv
I'm glad you said that..............I wouldn't dare

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 2:37 pm
by LarsMac
This is a good place to ask:

What did the restaurant wait staff used to ask about your plate when they wanted to know if you were finished, before the current, "You still working on that?"

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 3:42 pm
by YZGI
LarsMac;1386694 wrote: This is a good place to ask:

What did the restaurant wait staff used to ask about your plate when they wanted to know if you were finished, before the current, "You still working on that?"


I don't think they said anything, they waited until your knife and fork were laid down and your napkin off your lap and on the table. Then they may ask if they can remove the plate and make more room for you or they just waited until you got up to leave.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 3:49 pm
by Snooz
I've never had anyone ask me if I was still 'working on that'... they usually say something like "how is everything?"

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 3:51 pm
by YZGI
SnoozeAgain;1386704 wrote: I've never had anyone ask me if I was still 'working on that'... they usually say something like "how is everything?"


You gotta hang out at IHOP with the one legged waiters.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:12 pm
by Snooz
Hey, I'm talking about Sizzler! I don't go in for those high falutin' eatin' places like IHOP.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 9:49 pm
by Cascadian
I'm with Lon that the advent of electronic pacifiers has effectively replaced self-awareness with self-absorption. People don't treat others with respect any more and seem to be clueless about how their loutish behavior affects everybody else they interact with.

American society has become very "me" focused and infused with a rampant entitlement mentality. And the older I get, the more it irritates me. (This is why seniors look so grumpy all the time.) A simple shopping trip to Wal Mart nowadays has me rolling my eyes and gritting my teeth with the effort to remain civil.

Is society losing social graces ?

Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 1:09 am
by Oscar Namechange
Cascadian;1386856 wrote: I'm with Lon that the advent of electronic pacifiers has effectively replaced self-awareness with self-absorption. People don't treat others with respect any more and seem to be clueless about how their loutish behavior affects everybody else they interact with.

American society has become very "me" focused and infused with a rampant entitlement mentality. And the older I get, the more it irritates me. (This is why seniors look so grumpy all the time.) A simple shopping trip to Wal Mart nowadays has me rolling my eyes and gritting my teeth with the effort to remain civil.


I don't think It's about seniors looking so grumpy.

We do live with the 'me' society nowadays and I believe It is that selfishness that has created much of the rudeness displayed In public.

Single mothers at home all day on welfare get the blame In this country for the anti-social behaviour we see but whilst I agree our governments have made our welfare system far too easy, I don't put the blame on them for lack of social nicities.

The one's to blame to me are the Mothers who have brought children Into the world and then expects society to help them raise them. The parent Is greedy, wanting the bigger house, the faster car but then both parents are having to hold down 3 jobs each to pay for It, unaware what a little **** their kid Is In public because they are never at home. When you look at where the money Is being spent from these three jobs, It is often not on the kid but themselves because they want the kids but want to persue their own selfish needs.

It's different when the example Is as of a friend of mine where her daughter goes to stage school. and she works to pay for that because It's what the child wants.

In England only recent there was a report that children are starting school unable to use cutlery and are still In nappies. They expect the teachers to do their job for them because they are working all day to pay for that extra car.

When their kid then turns out to be a horrible little ****, Instead of taking responsibility, the parent them gets defensive and angry because 'How dare anyone question my childs behaviour In public'?

You have middle aged Mothers who Instead of being a Mother are desperately trying to hang on to their youth by swearing, drinking, smoking dope etc because they think It makes them cool and In with the kids.

Children only go by what they see...