Page 1 of 1

Hospital charts

Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 10:34 am
by valerie
Think about these when you go to the hospital.







These are actual notes taken from patients charts:



1. The patient refused autopsy.



2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.



3. Patient has left white blood cells at another

hospital.



4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her

husband states she was very hot in bed last night.



5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left

side for over a year.



6. On the second day the knee was better, and on

the third day it disappeared.



7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly.

She also appears to be depressed.



8. The patient has been depressed since she began

seeing me in 1993.



9. Discharge status: Alive but without my

permission



10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male,

mentally alert but forgetful.



11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia

for lunch.



12. She is numb from her toes down.



13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent

home.



14. The skin was moist and dry.



15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.



16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.



17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size

thyroid.



18. She stated that she had been constipated for

most of her life, until she got a divorce.



19. I saw your patient today, who is still under

our car for physical therapy.



20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light

and accommodation.



21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is

circus sized.



22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.



23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.



24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the

floor.



25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.



--------------------

Hospital charts

Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 10:36 am
by minks
valerie wrote: Think about these when you go to the hospital.







These are actual notes taken from patients charts:



1. The patient refused autopsy.



2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.



3. Patient has left white blood cells at another

hospital.



4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her

husband states she was very hot in bed last night.



5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left

side for over a year.



6. On the second day the knee was better, and on

the third day it disappeared.



7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly.

She also appears to be depressed.



8. The patient has been depressed since she began

seeing me in 1993.



9. Discharge status: Alive but without my

permission



10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male,

mentally alert but forgetful.



11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia

for lunch.



12. She is numb from her toes down.



13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent

home.



14. The skin was moist and dry.



15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.



16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.



17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size

thyroid.



18. She stated that she had been constipated for

most of her life, until she got a divorce.



19. I saw your patient today, who is still under

our car for physical therapy.



20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light

and accommodation.



21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is

circus sized.



22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.



23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.



24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the

floor.



25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.



--------------------


Presto found my problem, number 25, I am off to seek medical attention ahahahahahahaha

Hospital charts

Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 10:42 am
by Tombstone
minks wrote: Presto found my problem, number 25, I am off to seek medical attention ahahahahahahaha


I think #16 applies to me today! ;)

Hospital charts

Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 10:49 am
by abbey
Tombstone wrote: I think #16 applies to me today! Yea? and me #4 ;)

Hospital charts

Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 1:26 pm
by Porpoise
Those are funny pretty funny! :wah:

Hospital charts

Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 1:52 pm
by nvalleyvee
I needed a good laugh today - thanks