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gotta laugh sometimes ....yes I'm evil, but only because I've had to raise teenage boys.

here's the story.

yesterday I picked the boys up from the bus stop and my youngest who is twelve told me he has sex education this week. I said "So they are going to show you how to put a condom on a carrot?" And the older boy said "You'd be surprised how many don't know how to do it" .....Yeah so I'm becoming mirthful by now ...I said .." OH really great sage? yep that's the one thing you have to remember when you're having sex boys ....be sure to have a carrot with you at all times "

Then they were becoming suspicious of my mood. ......and it continued . "Of all the things I wish I had was a carrot for protection. Granted all the penis's I've seen over my life time looked more like cucumbers"

"The only thing you guys need to know about the act of sex is...(and I was serious and I saw some contemplation in my older boys face) "Don't just take it cause it's there ....and when it is there don't go in hard it's not a football field.....be gentle trust me they'll appreciate it".....

At this stage my childrens hands are about to cover their ears ..."mum don't!!! you don't have sex in our minds"

I said "well how the hell did you guys get here?................this was my cue to grosse my boys out :wah::wah::wah:

"You know you don't get pregnant everytime you have sex ...Wow it must have been really good hot sex for you guys to come along, with all those different positions etc." ..............Next minute I'm hearing some guitar tab from metallica and the youngest in the back of the car is singing as loud as he can with his hands over his ears ......I think I heard the song .....Woe is me :wah::wah::wah:

And before you all go crazy I'm not silly I know from the PC history my boys know exactly what sex is all about . not only have they seen a female naked body but judging from the history links they've seen a hell of a lot more than that. I keep to myself what I've seen ...but I did play hangman with my older boy the other day.... I cleaned his room and sent him a message...Hey boy, lets play hangman....

" _ _ _ _ HOUSE. Uh oh the bloke swinging from the gallows is a dead one" ....he got it, and has disposed of it . Without embarrassment, without the need to think, "OMG my mum knows I've got a mag."

Check private messages!

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

you know it's funny.........they will have grosse conversations with my male friends about homosexual stuff and I'd be like WTF? But mention the fact that mummy has any sexuality at all and the walls come tumbling down ......now that's funny right there :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Do they not realise, Fuzzy, that people don't just turn of the tap that says 'sex' when they reach the ancient age of 30 years old !!!

I guess they'd think it too gross that a grandfather can have sex on a regular basis with a grandmother even at the age of over 70 years old ! I know my young sister did, when she found out about our parents, when she was in her teens (she was an accident when my mum thought she had gone through the menopause ! :yh_rotfl ). My mum used to tell me that one of the reasons she had a week's holiday by herself, was to give her a break from my dad ! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl I thought, good luck to them both! :yh_wink

I have to be fair to them I remember being grossed out as well when I was a teenager.

fuzzywuzzy;1337155 wrote: gotta laugh sometimes ....yes I'm evil, but only because I've had to raise teenage boys.

here's the story.

yesterday I picked the boys up from the bus stop and my youngest who is twelve told me he has sex education this week. I said "So they are going to show you how to put a condom on a carrot?" And the older boy said "You'd be surprised how many don't know how to do it" .....Yeah so I'm becoming mirthful by now ...I said .." OH really great sage? yep that's the one thing you have to remember when you're having sex boys ....be sure to have a carrot with you at all times "

Then they were becoming suspicious of my mood. ......and it continued . "Of all the things I wish I had was a carrot for protection. Granted all the penis's I've seen over my life time looked more like cucumbers"

"The only thing you guys need to know about the act of sex is...(and I was serious and I saw some contemplation in my older boys face) "Don't just take it cause it's there ....and when it is there don't go in hard it's not a football field.....be gentle trust me they'll appreciate it".....

At this stage my childrens hands are about to cover their ears ..."mum don't!!! you don't have sex in our minds"

I said "well how the hell did you guys get here?................this was my cue to grosse my boys out :wah::wah::wah:

"You know you don't get pregnant everytime you have sex ...Wow it must have been really good hot sex for you guys to come along, with all those different positions etc." ..............Next minute I'm hearing some guitar tab from metallica and the youngest in the back of the car is singing as loud as he can with his hands over his ears ......I think I heard the song .....Woe is me :wah::wah::wah:

And before you all go crazy I'm not silly I know from the PC history my boys know exactly what sex is all about . not only have they seen a female naked body but judging from the history links they've seen a hell of a lot more than that. I keep to myself what I've seen ...but I did play hangman with my older boy the other day.... I cleaned his room and sent him a message...Hey boy, lets play hangman....

" _ _ _ _ HOUSE. Uh oh the bloke swinging from the gallows is a dead one" ....he got it, and has disposed of it . Without embarrassment, without the need to think, "OMG my mum knows I've got a mag."


OMG you had me laughing out loud!

The football field comment, sweet pete, that is a good one! LOL

Wel it seems I'm not hte evil mother after all ....well not at the moment anyway. I've bought the boys a boat.....well sort of I owe someone who bought the boys a boat. I wanted it for them 2 years ago and the price came down this weekend on it so we snapped it up right fast.

$800 gets you an aluminum 10 footer (fully lined inner) with trailer and all the odds and bods and it's got an outboard on it and 12 months rego.

This will be much better for fishing in the estuary rather than from the Kayaks ....they'll use the kayaks now for fun and racing .......was getting a bit nervous about Brett drilling wholes into the kayak for fishing rod holders and so forth.

So the boys love their mum ...well today anyway :wah::wah::wah::wah:

You were never an evil Mum

Well now we've just aquired a kid goat. It's probably a couple of days old. We're not keeping it just hand raising it for a bit until it's old enough to be put into someones backyard.