The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get
their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next
day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and
pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only
Janie was left.
“Janie, do you have a story to share?' ''Yes ma'am. My
daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert
Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and
all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't
break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi
troops.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of
bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she
killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.
''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What did
your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?
"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."
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