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Can you take it if your true friend tell you that you are going in the wrong path?

Afinity One

I'm not sure that I know what a true friend is or that I even have one. I have friends and aquaintances but never would I rely on their advice or council in decision making. I would listen, but ultimately make up my own mind and than accept the responsibility for the decision.

I used to have what I thought was a true friend, well there were 5 of them actually.

2 of them decided to misunderstand something, so they have now crossed me off their Christmas card list ! LOL

To me, a true friend is somebody who does not judge, who accepts you warts and all, who will be there for you when you need them, will be supportive and loyal, regardless of what they hear about you from others.

I try to be like that, certainly to the 5 who I counted as special friends, but I now have really only two, because the third one seems to have gone elsewhere.

The two I have left, are indeed special friends, they have never judged me, they have always supported me, and hopefully I have supported them and we have been there for each other, whenever we have been able to. We have never met, but maybe one day we might, and that would be such an experience ! One of them is in Australia, so it is very doubtful that we would ever meet, but never say never ! The other lives in the West Country, so maybe there could be a possible meet sometime, who knows?

If one of my special friends said they thought I was doing the wrong thing, or going in the wrong direction, I would ask them why they thought that. I would certainly think about what they have to say, because I would know that they would only be looking out for me. Their heart would be in the right place. Maybe they can see something that I can't, or won't. I would consider their words carefully before I made any decision, that's for sure. However, I do know that they would not expect me to act on what they said just because they have said it. That is where true friendship comes in. They would not take umbrage if I did not take their advice. In the end, one is responsible for one's own decisions in life, and nobody else.

Very well put G#Gill. I would think that if they do not agree with the way I am going and brave enough to point that out to me I would listen and very carefully at that. Since they are my true friends already, they will have my best interest at heart.

Hope you meet up with your friend soon. perhaps send me an application form i'll sign up as one.

Affinity One

Don't have "true friends". I form no attachments to people. I once thought I had a wife. That failed miserably. I thought I had some good friends, but they were only friendly because I had something they wanted. Even some of my family abandon me. Curiously, some of my X in-laws act more happy to see me than does my own family.

That's really sad, Hoppy. But I suppose it depends on how much you miss having friends. At least you don't have a problem if a friend needs help of some sort, if you haven't got any, then that doesn't bother you! Interesting that your in-laws are more pleased to see you than your own family - strange !

Affinity One;1298805 wrote: Can you take it if your true friend tell you that you are going in the wrong path?


Yes, of course. However, I have a certain independence of mind, as have most people, and whilst I would consider a "true friend's" advice carefully, I might not take it. I don't think I'd be offended by it, and I don't see why a TF would be should I disregard his advice.

hoppy;1298849 wrote: B]Don't


It's a funny old world. Sometimes you find things you like where you don't expect them. Sometimes you find things that turn out not to be what you thought.You've just got to keep your chin down, tuck your elbows in a bit, and keep going. Perhaps there's something else worthwhile just around the next corner. That's a nice thought.

Affinity One;1298805 wrote: Can you take it if your true friend tell you that you are going in the wrong path?

Afinity One


I would *expect* a true friend to tell me if they thought I was going down the wrong path.

On the other hand, I would also expect a true friend to understand if I disagreed and continued down that path and to support me in the endeavour.

A true friend eh, one that says they will help you move and actually show up on your moving day Sweeet!!!!!

Ok for me a true friend accepts me for all my weirdness and actually comes back from time to time to make sure I haven't fallen into a ditch somewhere and died. (i am terrible at keeping in touch with people and am sure many thing I am dead)

minks;1299187 wrote: A true friend eh, one that says they will help you move and actually show up on your moving day Sweeet!!!!!



Ok for me a true friend accepts me for all my weirdness and actually comes back from time to time to make sure I haven't fallen into a ditch somewhere and died. (i am terrible at keeping in touch with people and am sure many thing I am dead)


Firstly, moving a friend is the ultimate test of loyalty but I have to question the friend that asks the friend to help. That person is not a good friend at all because that friend should understand that the other friend would probably be willing to forfeit a limb to not have to move the other friend.

what do I want?

respect, care, consideration, understanding, warmth and always there when you need them........and visa versa of course.:-4

What do I want from a true friend?

Someone who nevers judges me and shows me that they truly care about me. A true friend shares the good times and is always there for you and supportive in the bad times. A true friend is more to me than just a friend they are a part of me and I consider them family. :-4

Jazzy;1311504 wrote: What do I want from a true friend?

Someone who nevers judges me and shows me that they truly care about me. A true friend shares the good times and is always there for you and supportive in the bad times. A true friend is more to me than just a friend they are a part of me and I consider them family. :-4


that's true Jazzy, never to judge, insult, criticize, belittle and to consider them family.:-4

A really true friend is always there for you.

money

I don't want anything from my true friends.



I have their undivided attention when I need it. I have their honesty, even when I don't want it(hi nomad:p). I have their genuine concern for me and mine. They have my back and know I have theirs in a life crisis. I know I can trust them with anything and they will return the favor. They see me - warts and all - and accept me anyways.



What more could I want?

YZGI;1311536 wrote: money


:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

flopstock;1311547 wrote: I don't want anything from my true friends.



I have their undivided attention when I need it. I have their honesty, even when I don't want it(hi nomad:p). I have their genuine concern for me and mine. They have my back and know I have theirs in a life crisis. I know I can trust them with anything and they will return the favor. They see me - warts and all - and accept me anyways.



What more could I want?


Yup, and that's the way it should be :-6

Affinity One;1298805 wrote: Can you take it if your true friend tell you that you are going in the wrong path?



Afinity One


Id probably set them on fire.

I'll say, "Why did you not tell me? I thought it was ok"

Nomad;1311648 wrote: Id probably set them on fire.


that's just not nice to do to a friend.:yh_rotfl

Jazzy;1311504 wrote: What do I want from a true friend?

Someone who nevers judges me and shows me that they truly care about me. A true friend shares the good times and is always there for you and supportive in the bad times. A true friend is more to me than just a friend they are a part of me and I consider them family. :-4


I don't believe a true friend is any different than a friend. Their can be some friends you have a deeper understanding with and/or probably have had a longer time to develop an understanding with, but their advice, caring, support, and critique should not be taken any more or less seriously then another friend. What I think is the disconnect is that we do not always use the best methods and/or logic in the process of choosing the people we define as friend. Thus we get a separation of friend and people we thought were our friend.

As for the above quote I do not think a friend who cared about you and trusted you and expected the same in return would be someone who will not judge and critique your decisions as your decisions can in turn in some way effect them thus if your decisions are effecting them in a way that they dislike you will be judged accordingly.

Money?

Clodhopper;1315821 wrote: Money?


yup, sounds good!

Clodhopper;1315821 wrote: Money?


only if it was by the means of teaching me a skill i use in order to make that money, but I don't think a friend unless the situation really called for it would give just give you money, but a person is not your friend if they just kept giving you money and did not help you learn how to make you own.

Hiya, lCJ.

I wasn't being entirely serious. I consider myself lucky in my friends: when my life went down the tubes they rallied round and were there for me. Without them I really don't know where I'd be.

I wasn't joking, I have a few really good friends but they have no money!:yh_rotfl

Clodhopper;1315872 wrote: Hiya, lCJ.

I wasn't being entirely serious. I consider myself lucky in my friends: when my life went down the tubes they rallied round and were there for me. Without them I really don't know where I'd be.


With friends I am always serious when the subject is a serious one such as the subject of what I seek when I choose to accept someone as a friend.

Clodhopper;1315872 wrote: Hiya, lCJ.

I wasn't being entirely serious. I consider myself lucky in my friends: when my life went down the tubes they rallied round and were there for me. Without them I really don't know where I'd be.


I believe ICJ was giving a spiritually motivating altruism that centered around the appropriate virtues as should be "followed by all"

With friends I am always serious when the subject is a serious one such as the subject of what I seek when I choose to accept someone as a friend.


Fair enough! It's a very important subject. But just so you are aware - there is little so serious a Brit won't joke about it. Very often the more serious, the more we'll joke.

It's an important cultural difference between us. In fact, when Brit and US troops were peacekeeping together in Bosnia, British officers were told not to joke at briefings, because it made the Americans think they weren't taking the issue seriously. Whether that advice is still in place in Afganistan I don't know.

But returning to the issue: I am no longer looking for a life partner, and I don't have much family, so my friends are at the centre of my emotional life and are the reason I still live in Kingston. We are a mutual self help and abuse group.:wah:

it is lucky to have true friend(s).during one's life.

i think i'll seriouly consider my friends advices. it depends weather i'll take it.

i expect a true friend to ..

defend me to others when i am being rediculed...weather i asked for it or not

tell me the truth..like ..that was an absolutely stupid thing to do...AFTER she bails me out

knows all my secrets..good and bad..and still values our friendship

when around a true friend i can put all my walls down..act myself without worry one wit that he or she is trying to figure out how to take advantage of me in some way

a true friend values who i am..not what i have or who i know..