Sleep Talkin’ Man.
Posted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 4:56 pm
I've just come across this HILARIOUS website.
An Englishman named Adam has become an internet sensation as he talks in his sleep. His wife Karen records his talking and posts his narratives word for word on her blog Sleep Talkin’ Man.
Apparently Sleep Talkin’ Man is actually a mild-mannered Englishman, who lives a colourful existence in his dreams.
His wife says that waking Adam is nothing at all like sleeping Adam but she says that she has spent so many hours chuckling at his dead-of-night ramblings that she thought it only fair to share them with the world!
Anyway, here is a list of some of Adams night-time ramblings and I've added the blog address at the end so you can peruse all of his nocturnal natterings for a chuckle.
(I can just imagine Nomad making comments like these!)
:wah:
"Deedoo. It's a deedoo. A deedoo...Oh, it's not a deedoo. I have no idea what it is."
[chuckling throughout] "I'm trying not to laugh. But your face! Your face! Oh, please look away. Please?"
"Snail fiddling is not an occupation I'd be proud of. You dirty *******."
"My bagder's gonna unleash hell on your a$$. Badgertastic!"
"No, not the cats. Don't trust them. Their eyes. Their eyes. They know too much."
"Just look at yourself. Yeah, now look at me. You don't stand a chance. It must suck to be you, I'm sure."
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!" :wah:
"Jump. You can jump with goats. Boy does he jump high. They jump really high."
"I am awe-some. Deal with it *******!"
"Monkey power! Straight from the jungle."
"Can you hold... can you hold my starfish? It doesn't like it when I'm getting excited. Oh look, it likes you! Its legs are all cree-py cree-py."
"Hey, don't... don't say anything. Why don't you put it in an email, then I can ignore it at my pleasure."
"If I wanted to see a long nose and a big a$$, I'd look at a horse."
"Butt cheeks ahoy! There she blows!"
"You can't be a pirate if you haven't got a beard. I said so. MY boat, MY rules." :wah:
"We haven't got a plank. Just f*cking jump." :wah:
"I'm baking pillows. Burn them slowly, keeps them fluffy! Mmmmmm, pillows."
"Potato bags. I can't find my potato bags. I need them! [desperately] Who's got my potato bags? Oh, **** it! I'll have to use something else."
"Your mum's at the door again. Bury me. Bury me deep."
"Yeah, keep looking. It doesn't get any better than this."
"Shhhhhhhhh. shhhhhhhhh. I'm telling you: your voice, my ears. A bad combination." :wah:
"You're pretty. pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty.... [long pause] Now ***** off and be pretty somewhere else. I'm bored." :wah:
[hand tangled in my hair, massaging my scalp] "I'm stuck. I'm stuck. Your pub*s! You got to shave."
"Butter... nut... squash. I like those words."
"Oompa loompas don't sing in heaven. They tidy up the clouds." :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl
"Legs time! Everybody get your legs!"
"Please just walk away. I don't want to have to stand here and say something so awesome that I'll have to remember it the rest of the day. Thank you!"
"Don't... Don't put the noodles and the dumplings together in the boat. They'll fight! The noodles are bullies. Poor dumplings." :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
"I haven't put on weight. Your eyes are fat."
"I'd rather peel off my skin and bathe my weeping raw flesh in a bath of vinegar than spend any time with you. But that's just my opinion. Don't take it personally." :wah:
"Elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only. Nothing else."
"Lentils are evil. Pure f*cking oozing evil. Take them away from me."
"My vision of hell is a lentil casserole."
"By the way, washing in rose water doesn't stop you smelling like a piece of sh*t."
"Be happy happy happy happy."
"Now ***** off and let me bask in the glory of being me."
"Badger tickling: proceed with caution"
"Vampire penguins? Zombie guinea pigs? We're done for.... done for."
"I don't want to die! I love sex. And furry animals."
"Well that's just great. Peanut butter in my crack. Goddamnit."
"I can't control the kittens. Too many whiskers! Too many whiskers!"
"Don't leave the duck there. It's totally irresponsible. Put it on the swing, it'll have much more fun." :wah::wah:
"I demand compensation in cola bottles. Lots of fizzy cola bottles. In one lump sum."
"Don't eat the jelly! Don't eat the jelly! I made it with frog wee. It'll turn your teeth green... Like mini apples."
Wife's note: In England, jelly = jell-o
"Robots making sweets? But they've got no taste buds! Metal smarties."
"Don't talk to me like that. I'm just gonna throw up in your face. Eat the carrots."
"Of course I've always loved music. YOURS makes me want to poo my pants."
"So this is what it feels like to be a gummy bear... I can't walk though, I have to rock... I think i'll call myself BerNARD. Not BERnard. BerNARD. And I'll be a golden gummy bear."
"Sigh of a ninja."
"I love the fact you're a moose. Yes. So soft, so soft."
Find this blog at:
Sleep Talkin' Man
An Englishman named Adam has become an internet sensation as he talks in his sleep. His wife Karen records his talking and posts his narratives word for word on her blog Sleep Talkin’ Man.
Apparently Sleep Talkin’ Man is actually a mild-mannered Englishman, who lives a colourful existence in his dreams.
His wife says that waking Adam is nothing at all like sleeping Adam but she says that she has spent so many hours chuckling at his dead-of-night ramblings that she thought it only fair to share them with the world!
Anyway, here is a list of some of Adams night-time ramblings and I've added the blog address at the end so you can peruse all of his nocturnal natterings for a chuckle.
(I can just imagine Nomad making comments like these!)
:wah:"Deedoo. It's a deedoo. A deedoo...Oh, it's not a deedoo. I have no idea what it is."
[chuckling throughout] "I'm trying not to laugh. But your face! Your face! Oh, please look away. Please?"
"Snail fiddling is not an occupation I'd be proud of. You dirty *******."
"My bagder's gonna unleash hell on your a$$. Badgertastic!"
"No, not the cats. Don't trust them. Their eyes. Their eyes. They know too much."
"Just look at yourself. Yeah, now look at me. You don't stand a chance. It must suck to be you, I'm sure."
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!" :wah:
"Jump. You can jump with goats. Boy does he jump high. They jump really high."
"I am awe-some. Deal with it *******!"
"Monkey power! Straight from the jungle."
"Can you hold... can you hold my starfish? It doesn't like it when I'm getting excited. Oh look, it likes you! Its legs are all cree-py cree-py."
"Hey, don't... don't say anything. Why don't you put it in an email, then I can ignore it at my pleasure."
"If I wanted to see a long nose and a big a$$, I'd look at a horse."
"Butt cheeks ahoy! There she blows!"
"You can't be a pirate if you haven't got a beard. I said so. MY boat, MY rules." :wah:
"We haven't got a plank. Just f*cking jump." :wah:
"I'm baking pillows. Burn them slowly, keeps them fluffy! Mmmmmm, pillows."
"Potato bags. I can't find my potato bags. I need them! [desperately] Who's got my potato bags? Oh, **** it! I'll have to use something else."
"Your mum's at the door again. Bury me. Bury me deep."
"Yeah, keep looking. It doesn't get any better than this."
"Shhhhhhhhh. shhhhhhhhh. I'm telling you: your voice, my ears. A bad combination." :wah:
"You're pretty. pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty.... [long pause] Now ***** off and be pretty somewhere else. I'm bored." :wah:
[hand tangled in my hair, massaging my scalp] "I'm stuck. I'm stuck. Your pub*s! You got to shave."
"Butter... nut... squash. I like those words."
"Oompa loompas don't sing in heaven. They tidy up the clouds." :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl
"Legs time! Everybody get your legs!"
"Please just walk away. I don't want to have to stand here and say something so awesome that I'll have to remember it the rest of the day. Thank you!"
"Don't... Don't put the noodles and the dumplings together in the boat. They'll fight! The noodles are bullies. Poor dumplings." :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
"I haven't put on weight. Your eyes are fat."
"I'd rather peel off my skin and bathe my weeping raw flesh in a bath of vinegar than spend any time with you. But that's just my opinion. Don't take it personally." :wah:
"Elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only. Nothing else."
"Lentils are evil. Pure f*cking oozing evil. Take them away from me."
"My vision of hell is a lentil casserole."
"By the way, washing in rose water doesn't stop you smelling like a piece of sh*t."
"Be happy happy happy happy."
"Now ***** off and let me bask in the glory of being me."
"Badger tickling: proceed with caution"
"Vampire penguins? Zombie guinea pigs? We're done for.... done for."
"I don't want to die! I love sex. And furry animals."
"Well that's just great. Peanut butter in my crack. Goddamnit."
"I can't control the kittens. Too many whiskers! Too many whiskers!"
"Don't leave the duck there. It's totally irresponsible. Put it on the swing, it'll have much more fun." :wah::wah:
"I demand compensation in cola bottles. Lots of fizzy cola bottles. In one lump sum."
"Don't eat the jelly! Don't eat the jelly! I made it with frog wee. It'll turn your teeth green... Like mini apples."
Wife's note: In England, jelly = jell-o
"Robots making sweets? But they've got no taste buds! Metal smarties."
"Don't talk to me like that. I'm just gonna throw up in your face. Eat the carrots."
"Of course I've always loved music. YOURS makes me want to poo my pants."
"So this is what it feels like to be a gummy bear... I can't walk though, I have to rock... I think i'll call myself BerNARD. Not BERnard. BerNARD. And I'll be a golden gummy bear."
"Sigh of a ninja."
"I love the fact you're a moose. Yes. So soft, so soft."
Find this blog at:
Sleep Talkin' Man