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Wife : Do you want dinner?

Husband : Sure, what are my choices?

Wife : Yes and no.



Man: How old is your father?

Boy : As old as me.

Man: How can that be?

Boy : He became a father only when I was born.



Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.

Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.



Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?

Waiter: Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.



Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?

Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football

and the game went into extra time.



Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in

two days time?

Post Master: Yes sir, it definitely will.

Customer : I bet you, it won't.

Post Master: Why not?

Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.



Girl : Do you love me?

Boy : Yes Dear.

Girl : Would you die for me?

Boy : No, mine is undying love.



1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!

2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.

1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his

Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a jar of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a jar of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the Sermon, the Minister reported the following

results:

The first worm in alcohol - Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead.

Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead.

Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this

demonstration?

A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said, "As

long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"

Ahahaha tomb you crack me up

He he he, Ha ha ha Real cool jokes Tombstone, you've made my day.