Something got into me tonight and I started thinking about all of the good people in the World, and whether or not any of those good people on this board have ever had to face Evil at any time in their life. Ever had to look Evil square in the eyes and face it even if it was the last thing they ever wanted to do. I am very curious to see what the good people on this board have to say about it, and I emphasize good because I do know for damn sure that there are Evil people who visit this board, for whatever reasons they seek, and you know who you are.
As a standard I will set for those who are questioning whether or not they are truly Evil, and whether they were born that way or have become that way over time, I will present 4 things that at least for me determine whether or not someone is Evil. At least in my eyes. Then I would like to give 2 cases in my lifetime where I know for a fact I had to experience Evil because I believe that sharing this with you guys and talking about our experiences might just help all of us by becoming stronger inside and better able to handle the next time we have to face such circumstances.
The 4 things that I will list as the bar for knowing whether you are a true Evil individual are these:
1. If you hate God. Or any notion of a God. And if it makes you queezy and upset and angry to the point where you want to hurt someone or break something anytime someone mentions a Creative Force, or anything to do with a Creative Force, then you are Evil in my opinion. Not that it makes you laugh when you think of the thought of a Creative Force for all things, and that you think it is a silly concept, but that it truly makes you angry and makes you want to change the subject immediately before you end up having an outburst. If so, then you are Evil in my opinion.
2. If you HATE all Human Beings, regardless of color, culture, etc, and you look at all others besides yourself as a curse in your life, or as a blockage in your Life, and that you despise the thought of having to talk to, deal with, share emotion with, share your thoughts with, or listen to and give your time to, another individual besides yourself, and if just the thought of doing any of those things makes your blood boil, to the point that you seriously wish to do harm either to yourself or to one of your fellow Human beings over it, then you are Evil. At least in my opinion.
3. If animals disgust you, and if nature disgusts you, and if you feel that just the sight of an animal makes you angry, and you wish to kill it, torture it, watch it suffer, sufficate it, or any of those things, than you are Evil, at least in my opinion. If you wish Animals didn't exist just because of the simple fact that you wouldn't have to look at them or smell them, then you are Evil, at least the way I see it.
4. If you see a child and the only thing that comes to your mind is how innocent they are and how easily manipulative they are and how you could do so many things to them without them having a clue of what might be coming, including raping, killing, scaring, abusing, and anything else that might suit your twisted mind, and if just the thought of those things gets you excited, be it sexually or in any other way, then you are Evil, at least in my opinion.
Now there are other things I could list for determining who is Evil and who is not, but those are the 4 I will list at the moment, and which I think are clear cut and can not be debated, because mental illness is not to be used as an excuse in those cases, because all of them require careful thought and in many cases carefull planning, and none of them can be said to be performed without the individual knowledge of such actions being put forth. Therefore, if any of those apply to you, then you are Sh!t out of luck because you are Evil, and there is no hiding from that fact.
In the next post I will list my two cases where I know for 100% fact that I faced down an Evil individual in my lifetime, and which I was forced to face Evil directly even though I did not wish to (although feel free to post the times you had to face Evil even if it involves instances where you knew about it well beforehand, and knew what you would be up against). And then I am very curious to read some of the instances where some of the good people on this board had to face Evil, and how they felt during the process, how they reacted during the process, and what they have come away with after having to experience the process of having to face Evil.
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
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TruthBringer
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
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lou lou belle
- Posts: 235
- Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 8:33 am
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
TruthBringer;1243427 wrote: Something got into me tonight and I started thinking about all of the good people in the World, and whether or not any of those good people on this board have ever had to face Evil at any time in their life. Ever had to look Evil square in the eyes and face it even if it was the last thing they ever wanted to do. I am very curious to see what the good people on this board have to say about it, and I emphasize good because I do know for damn sure that there are Evil people who visit this board, for whatever reasons they seek, and you know who you are.
As a standard I will set for those who are questioning whether or not they are truly Evil, and whether they were born that way or have become that way over time, I will present 4 things that at least for me determine whether or not someone is Evil. At least in my eyes. Then I would like to give 2 cases in my lifetime where I know for a fact I had to experience Evil because I believe that sharing this with you guys and talking about our experiences might just help all of us by becoming stronger inside and better able to handle the next time we have to face such circumstances.
The 4 things that I will list as the bar for knowing whether you are a true Evil individual are these:
1. If you hate God. Or any notion of a God. And if it makes you queezy and upset and angry to the point where you want to hurt someone or break something anytime someone mentions a Creative Force, or anything to do with a Creative Force, then you are Evil in my opinion. Not that it makes you laugh when you think of the thought of a Creative Force for all things, and that you think it is a silly concept, but that it truly makes you angry and makes you want to change the subject immediately before you end up having an outburst. If so, then you are Evil in my opinion.
2. If you HATE all Human Beings, regardless of color, culture, etc, and you look at all others besides yourself as a curse in your life, or as a blockage in your Life, and that you despise the thought of having to talk to, deal with, share emotion with, share your thoughts with, or listen to and give your time to, another individual besides yourself, and if just the thought of doing any of those things makes your blood boil, to the point that you seriously wish to do harm either to yourself or to one of your fellow Human beings over it, then you are Evil. At least in my opinion.
3. If animals disgust you, and if nature disgusts you, and if you feel that just the sight of an animal makes you angry, and you wish to kill it, torture it, watch it suffer, sufficate it, or any of those things, than you are Evil, at least in my opinion. If you wish Animals didn't exist just because of the simple fact that you wouldn't have to look at them or smell them, then you are Evil, at least the way I see it.
4. If you see a child and the only thing that comes to your mind is how innocent they are and how easily manipulative they are and how you could do so many things to them without them having a clue of what might be coming, including raping, killing, scaring, abusing, and anything else that might suit your twisted mind, and if just the thought of those things gets you excited, be it sexually or in any other way, then you are Evil, at least in my opinion.
Now there are other things I could list for determining who is Evil and who is not, but those are the 4 I will list at the moment, and which I think are clear cut and can not be debated, because mental illness is not to be used as an excuse in those cases, because all of them require careful thought and in many cases carefull planning, and none of them can be said to be performed without the individual knowledge of such actions being put forth. Therefore, if any of those apply to you, then you are Sh!t out of luck because you are Evil, and there is no hiding from that fact.
In the next post I will list my two cases where I know for 100% fact that I faced down an Evil individual in my lifetime, and which I was forced to face Evil directly even though I did not wish to (although feel free to post the times you had to face Evil even if it involves instances where you knew about it well beforehand, and knew what you would be up against). And then I am very curious to read some of the instances where some of the good people on this board had to face Evil, and how they felt during the process, how they reacted during the process, and what they have come away with after having to experience the process of having to face Evil.
God dont get me started, well let me see I will try and go through a few really evil individuals I have had the misfortune to deal with.
1. Chilld rapist, not only raped his own 3 daughters but a neighbours daughter when she baby sat for him. Age range from 5 to 11. Had no remorse for his actions. Did not see the wrong in his actions.
2. Chilld murderer. Killed his 5 week old baby, as he had p****ed him off that night. I wont go into graphic details as it would truly upset many members of this forum that have children. He was arrogant and did not care about the killing of his son.
3. Gang member from Fulham, London who at just 18 had claimed to have instigated gang raping over 10 girls between the ages of 13 -15.
Had been arrested for knifing three teenage boys. When I dealt with him he showed no remorse and told me that I would be next. He smiled at me throughout the whole time I was in his company.
3. Animal cruelty. Man that would take dead cats into his local supermarket and tell the members of the public that he had strangled them to see how it made him feel. He was sectioned for an indefinate period.
4. Domestic violence. Dealt with a male that had beaten his wife for a period of over 20 years. He was eventually arrested when the victim decided that with the help of the police she would be strong enough to go to court. He did not take his eye off her family the whole time in court. And smiled throughout the proceedings.
I believe that there truly are evil people in this world. I have unfortunately met a few and I wont forget them in a hurry. Truly horrible people.
As a standard I will set for those who are questioning whether or not they are truly Evil, and whether they were born that way or have become that way over time, I will present 4 things that at least for me determine whether or not someone is Evil. At least in my eyes. Then I would like to give 2 cases in my lifetime where I know for a fact I had to experience Evil because I believe that sharing this with you guys and talking about our experiences might just help all of us by becoming stronger inside and better able to handle the next time we have to face such circumstances.
The 4 things that I will list as the bar for knowing whether you are a true Evil individual are these:
1. If you hate God. Or any notion of a God. And if it makes you queezy and upset and angry to the point where you want to hurt someone or break something anytime someone mentions a Creative Force, or anything to do with a Creative Force, then you are Evil in my opinion. Not that it makes you laugh when you think of the thought of a Creative Force for all things, and that you think it is a silly concept, but that it truly makes you angry and makes you want to change the subject immediately before you end up having an outburst. If so, then you are Evil in my opinion.
2. If you HATE all Human Beings, regardless of color, culture, etc, and you look at all others besides yourself as a curse in your life, or as a blockage in your Life, and that you despise the thought of having to talk to, deal with, share emotion with, share your thoughts with, or listen to and give your time to, another individual besides yourself, and if just the thought of doing any of those things makes your blood boil, to the point that you seriously wish to do harm either to yourself or to one of your fellow Human beings over it, then you are Evil. At least in my opinion.
3. If animals disgust you, and if nature disgusts you, and if you feel that just the sight of an animal makes you angry, and you wish to kill it, torture it, watch it suffer, sufficate it, or any of those things, than you are Evil, at least in my opinion. If you wish Animals didn't exist just because of the simple fact that you wouldn't have to look at them or smell them, then you are Evil, at least the way I see it.
4. If you see a child and the only thing that comes to your mind is how innocent they are and how easily manipulative they are and how you could do so many things to them without them having a clue of what might be coming, including raping, killing, scaring, abusing, and anything else that might suit your twisted mind, and if just the thought of those things gets you excited, be it sexually or in any other way, then you are Evil, at least in my opinion.
Now there are other things I could list for determining who is Evil and who is not, but those are the 4 I will list at the moment, and which I think are clear cut and can not be debated, because mental illness is not to be used as an excuse in those cases, because all of them require careful thought and in many cases carefull planning, and none of them can be said to be performed without the individual knowledge of such actions being put forth. Therefore, if any of those apply to you, then you are Sh!t out of luck because you are Evil, and there is no hiding from that fact.
In the next post I will list my two cases where I know for 100% fact that I faced down an Evil individual in my lifetime, and which I was forced to face Evil directly even though I did not wish to (although feel free to post the times you had to face Evil even if it involves instances where you knew about it well beforehand, and knew what you would be up against). And then I am very curious to read some of the instances where some of the good people on this board had to face Evil, and how they felt during the process, how they reacted during the process, and what they have come away with after having to experience the process of having to face Evil.
God dont get me started, well let me see I will try and go through a few really evil individuals I have had the misfortune to deal with.
1. Chilld rapist, not only raped his own 3 daughters but a neighbours daughter when she baby sat for him. Age range from 5 to 11. Had no remorse for his actions. Did not see the wrong in his actions.
2. Chilld murderer. Killed his 5 week old baby, as he had p****ed him off that night. I wont go into graphic details as it would truly upset many members of this forum that have children. He was arrogant and did not care about the killing of his son.
3. Gang member from Fulham, London who at just 18 had claimed to have instigated gang raping over 10 girls between the ages of 13 -15.
Had been arrested for knifing three teenage boys. When I dealt with him he showed no remorse and told me that I would be next. He smiled at me throughout the whole time I was in his company.
3. Animal cruelty. Man that would take dead cats into his local supermarket and tell the members of the public that he had strangled them to see how it made him feel. He was sectioned for an indefinate period.
4. Domestic violence. Dealt with a male that had beaten his wife for a period of over 20 years. He was eventually arrested when the victim decided that with the help of the police she would be strong enough to go to court. He did not take his eye off her family the whole time in court. And smiled throughout the proceedings.
I believe that there truly are evil people in this world. I have unfortunately met a few and I wont forget them in a hurry. Truly horrible people.
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TruthBringer
- Posts: 3567
- Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2006 5:39 pm
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Alright I will try not to drag on as I post these 2 experiences I have had in my lifetime, but for anyone who wishes to post their experiences in this thread, please don't feel rushed, embarrased, or fearful of being judged for your experiences, because the whole point of this thread is to talk about them, and for those who have not quite gotten them out of their system, perhaps to help those people come to terms with the experiences and let go of the negative emotions that may be attached to them still and might be effecting some of you even to this day. Be it in your subconscious (and possibly your dreams), or just outright in your every day thought processes.
Ok.....Here goes my two.....
When I was about 7 years old I believe I had my first true brush with Evil in an incarnate Human form. And of all people it was with one of my Father's x-wives, my Stepmother at the time.
Now up until this point, I must emphasize that I had never felt such fear, such negativity, such overwhelming stress in my life, and I really must say I was not prepared at the time for what was coming. But I am alive today still, and I made it through this experience, and I know I am a much better and stronger person because of it, and today I can look back at it with pride, pride that I made it through such a horrible experience and am still here to talk about it.
Anyways, to skip to the point, I was 7 years old and my sister was around 9-10. I had never met this person at the time because my Father had just married her after only knowing her for a few months and I was due for my annual Summer with my Father (who had joint custody at the time), and was looking forward to heading to New York City to visit with my Dad (who was at the time a severe alcoholic, but who I loved none of the less). So I arrived in New York City as a happy little boy who was very excited by my surroundings, etc., and who felt like the World was a warm blanket and that I was going to have so much fun in this big city with my Father and this new woman who had greeted us at the airport with my Father, and who at the time I could only think the best of because I thought (at the time) that my Father had chosen a nice lady to settle down with who would take care of him and love us like we were her own. Boy was I wrong, as I was soon to find out.
Ok, now, I knew my Father was an alchoholic from as far back as my memory will allow me to remember, but I also knew that he had never been violent, and that usually when he would drink heavily he would just talk alot and talk trash about my mother, and that is usually as far as he ever went with it. So I was prepared to spend the summer with him and so was my sister, both of us knowing that he was definately going to have his drunken episodes when he came home from work, and which I must admit were kind of comical in my opinion because he would even sometimes give us money and things because he would be so drunk that he just wouldn't care. As long as I knew he was safe towards us and was not a threat, I was not worried about it.
As I mentioned before, little did I know that I was about to experience the most frightening summer in my life and that I had ever experienced before. And by the way, now is a good time to mention the fact that I soon found out that not only was my father going to have his usual outbursts, but that my Stepmom as well was ALSO an alchoholic, much worse than my Father, which he carefully explained to us as he would discover liquor bottles and throw them away in the highrise apartment that we were staying with him in at the time. It took about two weeks (I wasn't stupid) to begin to see what this lady was all about.
The first 2 weeks went by without incident, my dad would go to work (he was very wealthy at the time), and he would give money to my stepmom to take us to places while he was working. We had a blast, we went out walking around, we visited malls, we ate out on the streets of New York, scones and hot dogs and all the things the vendors had to offer. We went to parks, we went shopping for toys, it was like living in a dream. I loved it......
And then, one day, soon after that, The devil that was watching us revealed herself. All I can remember is that one day my father was saying goodbye to us, and he was leaving the apartment, and that right after he left to go to work, my Stepmom (the Evil bitch from hell), shut the door behind him, turned towards me with the most evil look a person could ever give you (I still remember those cold black eyes to this day), and told me to go to my room immediately, in a very, very, scary and angry voice.
Now you can imagine, here I am watching cartoons (it is broad daylight mind you), and here I am looking at this lady standing by the door with just the most wretched, evil look on her face, and I am totally stunned. So I did what any kid would do, I asked her, "Why?" "What did I do?" This did not help the situation. Let me just put it that way. My sister was just as shocked as I was, and I can tell you this much, both of us felt like we had been shot with an arrow laced with fear, and we were both shivering because literally just the feeling that this lady gave us when she told me to go to my room was enough to cause an old man or woman to have a heart attack, I have no doubt.
So again, me asking her why only made her furious, and she stomped towards me, grabbed me by my hair, and started dragging me into the bedroom that I slept in with my sister, and threw me into the room and then proceeded to tell me that I was not to come out period, until she said so. Keep in mind I had done nothing to deserve this (she was extremely drunk at the time), and I was totally panicking inside myself, because not only was I crying by this time because I had never been treated in such a way by anyone, especially someone who had no right to put their hands on me, and who was not related to me in any way shape or form, but just the mere fact that all I could think about is what I did to deserve it, and I was SOOOOO scared, I can't even explain to you guys the feeling of utter betrayel I felt inside myself (keep in mind I was 7 years old), and that I barely knew this woman.
Now I am going off of a foggy memory here so please bare with me because I want to make this as brief as possible. I remember staying in that room all day long, and for some reason I also have the memory of this lady coming in with a plate (not a bowl) a plate with cocao puffs on it and some milk poured onto the plate. I remember her giving me this plate and telling me to eat it. And so I did, still entirely fearful of her and after having cried my eyes out for at least 30 minutes to an hour or two. And now, I felt like I had been thrown from heavin into hell in a matter of 1 single day. No joke.
I also remember her distinctly telling me and my sister that if she or I ever told my father about what she did to us, that she would kill us. KILL US. Not lying.
So to make a long story short, this incident was not unusual. This was an everyday occurance for me from that day on until the end of the Summer. Every day after my father left with a smile on his face, she would shut the door behind him, and then she would take her anger out on me and my sister (only I never saw what she did to my sister, because I was always locked in the room and had been too afraid I am ashamed to say to disobey this woman's request for me to sit in there all day until she deemed it necessary for me to come out.) I had no tv in the room, no books, no video games, nothing. Just me, my thoughts about this crazy woman, and the sounds of traffic passing back and forth outside of the window about 110 stories below me. I could watch the traffic of course, and the people walking around downstairs, but this did little to comfort me, as I can honestly tell you I was terrified of this woman, both for my own life and for the life of my sister.
As the days pressed on, things only got worse. Pulling me by the hair, slapping me repeatedly across my face, screaming at me and staring me down with those cold black eyes, became an every day thing. It was awful, I remember thinking to myself, "Am I ever going to get out of this?" It went on for weeks, some nights (she knew I was afraid of the dark), she would put me in a chair in the bedroom, sit down in front of me (in the pitch black), and she would proceed to ask me all kinds of questions, questions that I had no way of answering, and for every question I answered wrong, I would get a fully winded backhand across my face (sometimes she would use her palm), however she decided to literally beat the **** out of me, she found a away to do it.
Now by this point, I had been broken, as I am sure some of you can imagine, I sat in my bed late at night in cold sweats wondering if she was going to come in and drag me out by my hair for a beating, and whether that was going to be the day that she was going to take it a step further or not, and if I would one day lose my life to this woman. I do also remember that she would allow my sister to sleep in the same room with me at nightime, and that my sister was terrified as well (we had bunkbeds in there) because my stepmom would like to come in while both of us were sleeping and drag my sister out for a beating as well (she only beat my sister at night for some reason), but the thing is I never ever saw what she did to my sister, because once she dragged her out of the room, she would threaten me beforehand and tell me to stay in the room or else. And it worked, I was 7 years old, and defensless, so it worked. I cried while she did what she did to my sister in the other room, and I am ashamed to admit I was defensless to do anything to stop her.
These kind of nights went on for a long time, the plates with the cereal, the beatings, the all out fear that I felt (as I'm sure did my sister), literally every second of every day day in and day out for the entire Summer that I was there.
Now as I mentioned before, she threatened to murder both me and my sister if we ever told my father or my mother about what she was doing to us, AND WE BELIEVED HER, so we said nothing, and when we finally went home to my mother back in Michigan, we both kept our mouths shut about what happened.
And then...the next Summer came, and it was a repeat of the exact summer before. Pure torture for little kids to experience, and we just took it because we didn't know any better. We thought we didn't have a choice. We were just terrified, and we didn't want to die.
So this went on for about 3 summers, until we got a little older, and little smarter. And then one day I remember finally working up the courage to tell my Father what this lady was doing to us, and do you know what this drunk bastard said to me in response? He said, "Don't tell lies about her like that Brenden. She's not that kind of person."
Thats what the bastard told me! And to this day it is a big reason why we don't talk. So needless to say, after telling my Father, and getting that kind of reaction from him, we (me and my sister) both felt defeated, and betrayed, and so we kept our mouths shut for a little longer, until one night when me and my sister decided that enough was enough, and that we were finally going to tell my mother about what happened and that we were going to call the cops on her.
And I remember the night well, this was a few nights after an incident where she threw a boiled pot of water across the room at my father after an arguement and it hit my sister in the foot, and some of the water spilled on her and burned her, and then she grabbed a sharp kitchen knife from a drawer and came after my father with it (my father was in the military so he was skilled in hand to hand combat and easily got the knife out of her hand and then put her into a kind of lock where she coulnd't get out), and I remember the cops coming into the apartment and I remember me and my sister crying and I remember us trying to tell the police about what this woman had done to us and I remember them all flirting with her, FLIRTING WITH HER! (She was a very pretty lady) and I remember them leaving without taking us with them. Another time we felt betrayed. It just kept getting better and better.
But as I said, that was two days or so before the actual time me and my sister made a break for it. By this time, there was another girl who was staying with us (it was her daughter believe it or not) who was nothing like her and who possessed a strength and courage I will never forget for such a young girl, I think she was about 13 or so. But anyways, the daughter was totally on our side by this point, and so we told her about our plans to run out into the New York Streets when my Stepmother went to sleep, and she was all for it, and even said she would help us get out. I couldn't believe it. She was actually on our side. SOMEONE was actually on our side. It felt too good to express. Ok so, that night, I only remember that after having been locked into my room like usual, (from my side because she always told me to lock the door) I opened it up and me and my sister made a break for it, and all I remember is that by the time I had actually reached the door, she had somehow caught up with me and managed to grab me by my shirt. This time I thought for sure I was dead (because she knew we were about to call my mother once we got out of the building and to a payphone), and then suddenly as she was pulling me back into the room, her daughter, HER DAUGHTER mind you, got in betweem us and separated her arm from my shirt and took one look into those beaty black eyes and said, "If you ever touch him again, I'll kill you." And for the first time I actually saw fear in this lady's eyes, as she just stared at her daughter for a second and as we proceeded soon after to run to the elevator, down into the Streets (this was at like 3:00 in the morning), to a payphone somewhere around the corner or something, and then we finally called my mother crying and explaining what this woman had been doing to us for the past 3 years.
My mother was totally in shock (She had no clue any of this was taking place), she immediately called the police, the next day or so we were flown back to Michigan to be with her, and she sued my father and brought him to court over the whole ordeal and we never visited my father and/or this lady again.
Now, that was the first time I had truly experienced Evil in my lifetime, and one of the most profound as well. After many years of counseling, talking it out with my friends and family, I can finally say I am over it and have moved on with my life, But like I said, it was a terrifying experience for me, and I am glad to have shared it with the readers on this board.
That was true Evil in one of it's most basic forms. But it did happen, and it is true that that which does not kill you makes you stronger, and I truly am, and I only have God to thank for that. For the fact that worse didn't happen and that I am alive for another day on this planet.
PS - The second incident I had is 10 times quicker, lol. So don't worry about having to read a huge post like this one. A few paragraphs should cover it.
Ok.....Here goes my two.....
When I was about 7 years old I believe I had my first true brush with Evil in an incarnate Human form. And of all people it was with one of my Father's x-wives, my Stepmother at the time.
Now up until this point, I must emphasize that I had never felt such fear, such negativity, such overwhelming stress in my life, and I really must say I was not prepared at the time for what was coming. But I am alive today still, and I made it through this experience, and I know I am a much better and stronger person because of it, and today I can look back at it with pride, pride that I made it through such a horrible experience and am still here to talk about it.
Anyways, to skip to the point, I was 7 years old and my sister was around 9-10. I had never met this person at the time because my Father had just married her after only knowing her for a few months and I was due for my annual Summer with my Father (who had joint custody at the time), and was looking forward to heading to New York City to visit with my Dad (who was at the time a severe alcoholic, but who I loved none of the less). So I arrived in New York City as a happy little boy who was very excited by my surroundings, etc., and who felt like the World was a warm blanket and that I was going to have so much fun in this big city with my Father and this new woman who had greeted us at the airport with my Father, and who at the time I could only think the best of because I thought (at the time) that my Father had chosen a nice lady to settle down with who would take care of him and love us like we were her own. Boy was I wrong, as I was soon to find out.
Ok, now, I knew my Father was an alchoholic from as far back as my memory will allow me to remember, but I also knew that he had never been violent, and that usually when he would drink heavily he would just talk alot and talk trash about my mother, and that is usually as far as he ever went with it. So I was prepared to spend the summer with him and so was my sister, both of us knowing that he was definately going to have his drunken episodes when he came home from work, and which I must admit were kind of comical in my opinion because he would even sometimes give us money and things because he would be so drunk that he just wouldn't care. As long as I knew he was safe towards us and was not a threat, I was not worried about it.
As I mentioned before, little did I know that I was about to experience the most frightening summer in my life and that I had ever experienced before. And by the way, now is a good time to mention the fact that I soon found out that not only was my father going to have his usual outbursts, but that my Stepmom as well was ALSO an alchoholic, much worse than my Father, which he carefully explained to us as he would discover liquor bottles and throw them away in the highrise apartment that we were staying with him in at the time. It took about two weeks (I wasn't stupid) to begin to see what this lady was all about.
The first 2 weeks went by without incident, my dad would go to work (he was very wealthy at the time), and he would give money to my stepmom to take us to places while he was working. We had a blast, we went out walking around, we visited malls, we ate out on the streets of New York, scones and hot dogs and all the things the vendors had to offer. We went to parks, we went shopping for toys, it was like living in a dream. I loved it......
And then, one day, soon after that, The devil that was watching us revealed herself. All I can remember is that one day my father was saying goodbye to us, and he was leaving the apartment, and that right after he left to go to work, my Stepmom (the Evil bitch from hell), shut the door behind him, turned towards me with the most evil look a person could ever give you (I still remember those cold black eyes to this day), and told me to go to my room immediately, in a very, very, scary and angry voice.
Now you can imagine, here I am watching cartoons (it is broad daylight mind you), and here I am looking at this lady standing by the door with just the most wretched, evil look on her face, and I am totally stunned. So I did what any kid would do, I asked her, "Why?" "What did I do?" This did not help the situation. Let me just put it that way. My sister was just as shocked as I was, and I can tell you this much, both of us felt like we had been shot with an arrow laced with fear, and we were both shivering because literally just the feeling that this lady gave us when she told me to go to my room was enough to cause an old man or woman to have a heart attack, I have no doubt.
So again, me asking her why only made her furious, and she stomped towards me, grabbed me by my hair, and started dragging me into the bedroom that I slept in with my sister, and threw me into the room and then proceeded to tell me that I was not to come out period, until she said so. Keep in mind I had done nothing to deserve this (she was extremely drunk at the time), and I was totally panicking inside myself, because not only was I crying by this time because I had never been treated in such a way by anyone, especially someone who had no right to put their hands on me, and who was not related to me in any way shape or form, but just the mere fact that all I could think about is what I did to deserve it, and I was SOOOOO scared, I can't even explain to you guys the feeling of utter betrayel I felt inside myself (keep in mind I was 7 years old), and that I barely knew this woman.
Now I am going off of a foggy memory here so please bare with me because I want to make this as brief as possible. I remember staying in that room all day long, and for some reason I also have the memory of this lady coming in with a plate (not a bowl) a plate with cocao puffs on it and some milk poured onto the plate. I remember her giving me this plate and telling me to eat it. And so I did, still entirely fearful of her and after having cried my eyes out for at least 30 minutes to an hour or two. And now, I felt like I had been thrown from heavin into hell in a matter of 1 single day. No joke.
I also remember her distinctly telling me and my sister that if she or I ever told my father about what she did to us, that she would kill us. KILL US. Not lying.
So to make a long story short, this incident was not unusual. This was an everyday occurance for me from that day on until the end of the Summer. Every day after my father left with a smile on his face, she would shut the door behind him, and then she would take her anger out on me and my sister (only I never saw what she did to my sister, because I was always locked in the room and had been too afraid I am ashamed to say to disobey this woman's request for me to sit in there all day until she deemed it necessary for me to come out.) I had no tv in the room, no books, no video games, nothing. Just me, my thoughts about this crazy woman, and the sounds of traffic passing back and forth outside of the window about 110 stories below me. I could watch the traffic of course, and the people walking around downstairs, but this did little to comfort me, as I can honestly tell you I was terrified of this woman, both for my own life and for the life of my sister.
As the days pressed on, things only got worse. Pulling me by the hair, slapping me repeatedly across my face, screaming at me and staring me down with those cold black eyes, became an every day thing. It was awful, I remember thinking to myself, "Am I ever going to get out of this?" It went on for weeks, some nights (she knew I was afraid of the dark), she would put me in a chair in the bedroom, sit down in front of me (in the pitch black), and she would proceed to ask me all kinds of questions, questions that I had no way of answering, and for every question I answered wrong, I would get a fully winded backhand across my face (sometimes she would use her palm), however she decided to literally beat the **** out of me, she found a away to do it.
Now by this point, I had been broken, as I am sure some of you can imagine, I sat in my bed late at night in cold sweats wondering if she was going to come in and drag me out by my hair for a beating, and whether that was going to be the day that she was going to take it a step further or not, and if I would one day lose my life to this woman. I do also remember that she would allow my sister to sleep in the same room with me at nightime, and that my sister was terrified as well (we had bunkbeds in there) because my stepmom would like to come in while both of us were sleeping and drag my sister out for a beating as well (she only beat my sister at night for some reason), but the thing is I never ever saw what she did to my sister, because once she dragged her out of the room, she would threaten me beforehand and tell me to stay in the room or else. And it worked, I was 7 years old, and defensless, so it worked. I cried while she did what she did to my sister in the other room, and I am ashamed to admit I was defensless to do anything to stop her.
These kind of nights went on for a long time, the plates with the cereal, the beatings, the all out fear that I felt (as I'm sure did my sister), literally every second of every day day in and day out for the entire Summer that I was there.
Now as I mentioned before, she threatened to murder both me and my sister if we ever told my father or my mother about what she was doing to us, AND WE BELIEVED HER, so we said nothing, and when we finally went home to my mother back in Michigan, we both kept our mouths shut about what happened.
And then...the next Summer came, and it was a repeat of the exact summer before. Pure torture for little kids to experience, and we just took it because we didn't know any better. We thought we didn't have a choice. We were just terrified, and we didn't want to die.
So this went on for about 3 summers, until we got a little older, and little smarter. And then one day I remember finally working up the courage to tell my Father what this lady was doing to us, and do you know what this drunk bastard said to me in response? He said, "Don't tell lies about her like that Brenden. She's not that kind of person."
Thats what the bastard told me! And to this day it is a big reason why we don't talk. So needless to say, after telling my Father, and getting that kind of reaction from him, we (me and my sister) both felt defeated, and betrayed, and so we kept our mouths shut for a little longer, until one night when me and my sister decided that enough was enough, and that we were finally going to tell my mother about what happened and that we were going to call the cops on her.
And I remember the night well, this was a few nights after an incident where she threw a boiled pot of water across the room at my father after an arguement and it hit my sister in the foot, and some of the water spilled on her and burned her, and then she grabbed a sharp kitchen knife from a drawer and came after my father with it (my father was in the military so he was skilled in hand to hand combat and easily got the knife out of her hand and then put her into a kind of lock where she coulnd't get out), and I remember the cops coming into the apartment and I remember me and my sister crying and I remember us trying to tell the police about what this woman had done to us and I remember them all flirting with her, FLIRTING WITH HER! (She was a very pretty lady) and I remember them leaving without taking us with them. Another time we felt betrayed. It just kept getting better and better.
But as I said, that was two days or so before the actual time me and my sister made a break for it. By this time, there was another girl who was staying with us (it was her daughter believe it or not) who was nothing like her and who possessed a strength and courage I will never forget for such a young girl, I think she was about 13 or so. But anyways, the daughter was totally on our side by this point, and so we told her about our plans to run out into the New York Streets when my Stepmother went to sleep, and she was all for it, and even said she would help us get out. I couldn't believe it. She was actually on our side. SOMEONE was actually on our side. It felt too good to express. Ok so, that night, I only remember that after having been locked into my room like usual, (from my side because she always told me to lock the door) I opened it up and me and my sister made a break for it, and all I remember is that by the time I had actually reached the door, she had somehow caught up with me and managed to grab me by my shirt. This time I thought for sure I was dead (because she knew we were about to call my mother once we got out of the building and to a payphone), and then suddenly as she was pulling me back into the room, her daughter, HER DAUGHTER mind you, got in betweem us and separated her arm from my shirt and took one look into those beaty black eyes and said, "If you ever touch him again, I'll kill you." And for the first time I actually saw fear in this lady's eyes, as she just stared at her daughter for a second and as we proceeded soon after to run to the elevator, down into the Streets (this was at like 3:00 in the morning), to a payphone somewhere around the corner or something, and then we finally called my mother crying and explaining what this woman had been doing to us for the past 3 years.
My mother was totally in shock (She had no clue any of this was taking place), she immediately called the police, the next day or so we were flown back to Michigan to be with her, and she sued my father and brought him to court over the whole ordeal and we never visited my father and/or this lady again.
Now, that was the first time I had truly experienced Evil in my lifetime, and one of the most profound as well. After many years of counseling, talking it out with my friends and family, I can finally say I am over it and have moved on with my life, But like I said, it was a terrifying experience for me, and I am glad to have shared it with the readers on this board.
That was true Evil in one of it's most basic forms. But it did happen, and it is true that that which does not kill you makes you stronger, and I truly am, and I only have God to thank for that. For the fact that worse didn't happen and that I am alive for another day on this planet.
PS - The second incident I had is 10 times quicker, lol. So don't worry about having to read a huge post like this one. A few paragraphs should cover it.
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TruthBringer
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
lou lou belle;1243434 wrote: God dont get me started, well let me see I will try and go through a few really evil individuals I have had the misfortune to deal with.
1. Chilld rapist, not only raped his own 3 daughters but a neighbours daughter when she baby sat for him. Age range from 5 to 11. Had no remorse for his actions. Did not see the wrong in his actions.
2. Chilld murderer. Killed his 5 week old baby, as he had p****ed him off that night. I wont go into graphic details as it would truly upset many members of this forum that have children. He was arrogant and did not care about the killing of his son.
3. Gang member from Fulham, London who at just 18 had claimed to have instigated gang raping over 10 girls between the ages of 13 -15.
Had been arrested for knifing three teenage boys. When I dealt with him he showed no remorse and told me that I would be next. He smiled at me throughout the whole time I was in his company.
3. Animal cruelty. Man that would take dead cats into his local supermarket and tell the members of the public that he had strangled them to see how it made him feel. He was sectioned for an indefinate period.
4. Domestic violence. Dealt with a male that had beaten his wife for a period of over 20 years. He was eventually arrested when the victim decided that with the help of the police she would be strong enough to go to court. He did not take his eye off her family the whole time in court. And smiled throughout the proceedings.
I believe that there truly are evil people in this world. I have unfortunately met a few and I wont forget them in a hurry. Truly horrible people.
Lou let me first tell you that I am terribly sorry that you had to experience those things first hand, but let me also tell you that whether you may believe it or not, I truly do believe that you are a stronger person for having to experience those things even if at the time you thought you would never be able to make it through them. If you got the same feeling during those experiences that I have gotten in some of mine (that feeling of emptyness inside you almost like you are hollow) then I can relate, and I hope it comforts you to know that I am proud of you, even if no one else is, for making it through all that and being strong enough to press on.
1. Chilld rapist, not only raped his own 3 daughters but a neighbours daughter when she baby sat for him. Age range from 5 to 11. Had no remorse for his actions. Did not see the wrong in his actions.
2. Chilld murderer. Killed his 5 week old baby, as he had p****ed him off that night. I wont go into graphic details as it would truly upset many members of this forum that have children. He was arrogant and did not care about the killing of his son.
3. Gang member from Fulham, London who at just 18 had claimed to have instigated gang raping over 10 girls between the ages of 13 -15.
Had been arrested for knifing three teenage boys. When I dealt with him he showed no remorse and told me that I would be next. He smiled at me throughout the whole time I was in his company.
3. Animal cruelty. Man that would take dead cats into his local supermarket and tell the members of the public that he had strangled them to see how it made him feel. He was sectioned for an indefinate period.
4. Domestic violence. Dealt with a male that had beaten his wife for a period of over 20 years. He was eventually arrested when the victim decided that with the help of the police she would be strong enough to go to court. He did not take his eye off her family the whole time in court. And smiled throughout the proceedings.
I believe that there truly are evil people in this world. I have unfortunately met a few and I wont forget them in a hurry. Truly horrible people.
Lou let me first tell you that I am terribly sorry that you had to experience those things first hand, but let me also tell you that whether you may believe it or not, I truly do believe that you are a stronger person for having to experience those things even if at the time you thought you would never be able to make it through them. If you got the same feeling during those experiences that I have gotten in some of mine (that feeling of emptyness inside you almost like you are hollow) then I can relate, and I hope it comforts you to know that I am proud of you, even if no one else is, for making it through all that and being strong enough to press on.
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lou lou belle
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Thank you truthbringer
I am a strong person, but that is because I am loved and have the support of a great family and friends.
I found dealing with these kind of individuals challenging but I found comfort that I believe that there are not that many truly evil people out there.
I am glad that your terrible experiences as a child has,nt stopped you finding a fulfilled life and being able to move on.
So many people blame their childhood for many things.
One of my favorite books ever is one called a child called It, by David Pelzer, reading it was heartbreaking but made you reaslise the suffering people can adure and still manage to succeed. I wish you luck with your journey from your awful past.
I am a strong person, but that is because I am loved and have the support of a great family and friends.
I found dealing with these kind of individuals challenging but I found comfort that I believe that there are not that many truly evil people out there.
I am glad that your terrible experiences as a child has,nt stopped you finding a fulfilled life and being able to move on.
So many people blame their childhood for many things.
One of my favorite books ever is one called a child called It, by David Pelzer, reading it was heartbreaking but made you reaslise the suffering people can adure and still manage to succeed. I wish you luck with your journey from your awful past.
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TruthBringer
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
lou lou belle;1243450 wrote: Thank you truthbringer
I am a strong person, but that is because I am loved and have the support of a great family and friends.
I found dealing with these kind of individuals challenging but I found comfort that I believe that there are not that many truly evil people out there.
I am glad that your terrible experiences as a child has,nt stopped you finding a fulfilled life and being able to move on.
So many people blame their childhood for many things.
One of my favorite books ever is one called a child called It, by David Pelzer, reading it was heartbreaking but made you reaslise the suffering people can adure and still manage to succeed. I wish you luck with your journey from your awful past.
Same to you And God Bless.
PS - And whats even weirder ( though I can laugh about it now), is that I remember that movie Flowers in the attic coming on all the time while we were there, and it was like a cruel joke or something, because I literally felt like I was in that movie at the time. Though it wasn't exactly the same.
I am a strong person, but that is because I am loved and have the support of a great family and friends.
I found dealing with these kind of individuals challenging but I found comfort that I believe that there are not that many truly evil people out there.
I am glad that your terrible experiences as a child has,nt stopped you finding a fulfilled life and being able to move on.
So many people blame their childhood for many things.
One of my favorite books ever is one called a child called It, by David Pelzer, reading it was heartbreaking but made you reaslise the suffering people can adure and still manage to succeed. I wish you luck with your journey from your awful past.
Same to you And God Bless.
PS - And whats even weirder ( though I can laugh about it now), is that I remember that movie Flowers in the attic coming on all the time while we were there, and it was like a cruel joke or something, because I literally felt like I was in that movie at the time. Though it wasn't exactly the same.
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lou lou belle
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Hey I loved that film, cos i always thought how they could try and escape, but it was the sheer fear of being caught that held them captive. Next time I watch it I will think about your awful experience.
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TruthBringer
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
By the way I should have probably mentioned that this thread is not for the timid at heart, because as is always the case when talking about a brush with True Evil, the facts are not always easy to swallow. And neither is reality for that matter.
So...if children are reading this message, you may not wish to continue reading this thread. Unless of course you feel like you can handle what might be discussed here.
So...if children are reading this message, you may not wish to continue reading this thread. Unless of course you feel like you can handle what might be discussed here.
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lou lou belle
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
TruthBringer;1243457 wrote: By the way I should have probably mentioned that this thread is not for the timid at heart, because as is always the case when talking about a brush with True Evil, the facts are not always easy to swallow. And neither is reality for that matter.
So...if children are reading this message, you may not wish to continue reading this thread. Unless you feel like you can handle what might be discussed.
I agree, that is why i would,nt go into details over some of the offenders mentioned. It would be too upsetting.
So...if children are reading this message, you may not wish to continue reading this thread. Unless you feel like you can handle what might be discussed.
I agree, that is why i would,nt go into details over some of the offenders mentioned. It would be too upsetting.
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TruthBringer
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
You know whats interesting to me Lou, is that I would bet money that this thread is going to be more popular at night time than it is during the day time. For obvious reasons, one of them being that night time tends to force a person to have to face some of the shadows of their past, and in many cases seems to amplify the darkness of those memories.
With daytime on the other hand, it is much harder to take negativity seriously, and much easier to focus on positive things, as is much of the purpose of it's design I would imagine.
One of the creepiest feelings is having to deal with True Evil in brought daylight though, with people hustling and bustling all around you, thats almost like being in a drugged up state if you ask me, because it seems that the mind has a harder time accepting it as reality, which brings me to my 2nd experience which I will post in a bit, but first I'm going out for a cigarette real quick.
With daytime on the other hand, it is much harder to take negativity seriously, and much easier to focus on positive things, as is much of the purpose of it's design I would imagine.
One of the creepiest feelings is having to deal with True Evil in brought daylight though, with people hustling and bustling all around you, thats almost like being in a drugged up state if you ask me, because it seems that the mind has a harder time accepting it as reality, which brings me to my 2nd experience which I will post in a bit, but first I'm going out for a cigarette real quick.
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lou lou belle
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
TruthBringer;1243463 wrote: You know whats interesting to me Lou, is that I would bet money that this thread is going to be more popular at night time than it is during the day time. For obvious reasons, one of them being that night time tends to force a person to have to face some of the shadows of their past, and in many cases seems to amplify the darkness of those memories.
With daytime on the other hand, it is much harder to take negativity seriously, and much easier to focus on positive things, as is much of the purpose of it's design I would imagine.
One of the creepiest feelings is having to deal with True Evil in brought daylight though, with people hustling and bustling all around you, thats almost like being in a drugged up state if you ask me, which brings me to my 2nd experience which I will post in a bit, but first I'm going out for a cigarette real quick.
You are so right! Evil always seem worse in daylight than at night.
Cos at night I think these things.....
When you walk down a dark road or alley, is anyone down there.
When you walk home using the park as a short cut, is anyone watching you?
When you put the dog out before you to bed, is anyone in the garden?
When you drive through an isolated place, is anyone following you?
You dont think these things in the day! You dont think things will happen to you in the day.
I think being a woman amplifies things as I am much more aware of my personal safety than my husband.
Thankfully I am able to look after myself but never be complacent, your personal safety is paramount.
With daytime on the other hand, it is much harder to take negativity seriously, and much easier to focus on positive things, as is much of the purpose of it's design I would imagine.
One of the creepiest feelings is having to deal with True Evil in brought daylight though, with people hustling and bustling all around you, thats almost like being in a drugged up state if you ask me, which brings me to my 2nd experience which I will post in a bit, but first I'm going out for a cigarette real quick.
You are so right! Evil always seem worse in daylight than at night.
Cos at night I think these things.....
When you walk down a dark road or alley, is anyone down there.
When you walk home using the park as a short cut, is anyone watching you?
When you put the dog out before you to bed, is anyone in the garden?
When you drive through an isolated place, is anyone following you?
You dont think these things in the day! You dont think things will happen to you in the day.
I think being a woman amplifies things as I am much more aware of my personal safety than my husband.
Thankfully I am able to look after myself but never be complacent, your personal safety is paramount.
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TruthBringer
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
OK so the second incident I will post about happened not so long ago. I think it was about 5 or 6 months ago, and it was in broad daylight, and there were many people around me getting on busses and driving by and going to their cars and so on, so it just made it that much stanger for me. Although as it was happening I felt like I was the only person in the World, besides the person I was dealing with of course.
So ok, I went to the local check cashing place which always seems to have a negative vibe around it because there are always creeps that seem to lurk nearby or even sitting outside the building (not that all of the people that sit there or stand around there are creeps, but that many of them seem to be). Perhaps it's because these people know there is money being exchanged there on a daily basis and they feel that they have the best chance of messing with someone there and trying to get some money out of them, or perhaps it's because these freaks feel jealous of the fact that people have money on them at the time they are walking in there to do whatever it is they are doing, but never the less they seem to enjoy being around this place for whatever reason.
So anyways, I'm walking in there and I notice this middle aged man sitting down on the curb outside the building, close to the door where he can gesture to to or speak to anyone walking in and out as he pleases. This was probably around 3 or 4 pm so the Sun was shining and it was otherwise a pleasant afternoon in terms of weather and such. Now right away I got a feeling of danger being present as I walked past this man and into the building to charge up my ICE card (one of those chargable pre-payed credit cards that you can use to purchase things electronically with), and so I knew for some reason that as soon as I walked back out of the building I was going to have a confrontation with this man like it or not. And sure enough, thats exactly what happened.
As I'm leaving the building after charging up my card, the man gestures towards me and asks me to come over to him. Curious to see what he's going to say (stupid mistake on my part), I walk over to him and he proceeds to ask me for some change. Now I am a giving person, so I gave him a little money and was just about to walk away from him when suddenly his temperment changed in a matter of seconds and he starts telling me that he just got out of jail after being in there for 27 years. The first thing on my mind was great, this guy must have killed someone, and so I started getting an unpleasent feeling in my gut. Then the guy starts to get crazy on me, and he looks at me and says, "All my friends have died. All of them died and we're going to die out here too!" We're going to die out here!"
Kind of amused (because I still wasn't completely taking him seriously), I said, oh no, it can't be that bad, you just need to put your faith in God. And thats when he got very angry, and started clenching his fists and he said, "Do you know what you are doing to your family?" Do you know what you are doing!" And at this point I'm like...ok....this guys a nut. And so I started to walk away from him, and he goes....don't you...don't you walk away...if you walk away I swear I'm gonna....(At this point I was totally shocked), and thats when I told him, Sir, I just gave you some money, and he yells back at me "I don't want your money!" And he starts to get up from the curb, and starts to walk towards me with a furious look on his face. So I start to back up...and he's coming at me and so I make a dismissive gesture with my hand and I tell him that I'm leaving...and meanwhile as I'm walking away he's coming at me from behind...walking towards me...and so I immediately got back into my car and started the engine..,and he walked out in front of the car with the a hideous look on his face like He was so pissed that he didn't get to me in time, and I put my hand up again to dismiss him again as I'm pulling out wondering if he's gonna try and attack me from the drivers side window,,,,,and as I'm pulling out of the driveway and onto the road the only thing going through my head was...1. Thank God he didn't get to me before I got into the car, and 2. Did he have a knife in his pocket or a gun on him or something and was he actually planning on murdering me? After all..why not....he had already been in jail for 27 years!
I told my girlfriend about the incident and she was like...My God...you run into the craziest people. And I'm like..I know...tell me about it.
Needless to say thats when I realized probably more than ever before that at least in this current day and age, the daylight offers little to no protection for you from True Evil.
So ok, I went to the local check cashing place which always seems to have a negative vibe around it because there are always creeps that seem to lurk nearby or even sitting outside the building (not that all of the people that sit there or stand around there are creeps, but that many of them seem to be). Perhaps it's because these people know there is money being exchanged there on a daily basis and they feel that they have the best chance of messing with someone there and trying to get some money out of them, or perhaps it's because these freaks feel jealous of the fact that people have money on them at the time they are walking in there to do whatever it is they are doing, but never the less they seem to enjoy being around this place for whatever reason.
So anyways, I'm walking in there and I notice this middle aged man sitting down on the curb outside the building, close to the door where he can gesture to to or speak to anyone walking in and out as he pleases. This was probably around 3 or 4 pm so the Sun was shining and it was otherwise a pleasant afternoon in terms of weather and such. Now right away I got a feeling of danger being present as I walked past this man and into the building to charge up my ICE card (one of those chargable pre-payed credit cards that you can use to purchase things electronically with), and so I knew for some reason that as soon as I walked back out of the building I was going to have a confrontation with this man like it or not. And sure enough, thats exactly what happened.
As I'm leaving the building after charging up my card, the man gestures towards me and asks me to come over to him. Curious to see what he's going to say (stupid mistake on my part), I walk over to him and he proceeds to ask me for some change. Now I am a giving person, so I gave him a little money and was just about to walk away from him when suddenly his temperment changed in a matter of seconds and he starts telling me that he just got out of jail after being in there for 27 years. The first thing on my mind was great, this guy must have killed someone, and so I started getting an unpleasent feeling in my gut. Then the guy starts to get crazy on me, and he looks at me and says, "All my friends have died. All of them died and we're going to die out here too!" We're going to die out here!"
Kind of amused (because I still wasn't completely taking him seriously), I said, oh no, it can't be that bad, you just need to put your faith in God. And thats when he got very angry, and started clenching his fists and he said, "Do you know what you are doing to your family?" Do you know what you are doing!" And at this point I'm like...ok....this guys a nut. And so I started to walk away from him, and he goes....don't you...don't you walk away...if you walk away I swear I'm gonna....(At this point I was totally shocked), and thats when I told him, Sir, I just gave you some money, and he yells back at me "I don't want your money!" And he starts to get up from the curb, and starts to walk towards me with a furious look on his face. So I start to back up...and he's coming at me and so I make a dismissive gesture with my hand and I tell him that I'm leaving...and meanwhile as I'm walking away he's coming at me from behind...walking towards me...and so I immediately got back into my car and started the engine..,and he walked out in front of the car with the a hideous look on his face like He was so pissed that he didn't get to me in time, and I put my hand up again to dismiss him again as I'm pulling out wondering if he's gonna try and attack me from the drivers side window,,,,,and as I'm pulling out of the driveway and onto the road the only thing going through my head was...1. Thank God he didn't get to me before I got into the car, and 2. Did he have a knife in his pocket or a gun on him or something and was he actually planning on murdering me? After all..why not....he had already been in jail for 27 years!
I told my girlfriend about the incident and she was like...My God...you run into the craziest people. And I'm like..I know...tell me about it.
Needless to say thats when I realized probably more than ever before that at least in this current day and age, the daylight offers little to no protection for you from True Evil.
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TruthBringer
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
lou lou belle;1243472 wrote: You are so right! Evil always seem worse in daylight than at night.
Cos at night I think these things.....
When you walk down a dark road or alley, is anyone down there.
When you walk home using the park as a short cut, is anyone watching you?
When you put the dog out before you to bed, is anyone in the garden?
When you drive through an isolated place, is anyone following you?
You dont think these things in the day! You dont think things will happen to you in the day.
I think being a woman amplifies things as I am much more aware of my personal safety than my husband.
Thankfully I am able to look after myself but never be complacent, your personal safety is paramount.
Well put.
Cos at night I think these things.....
When you walk down a dark road or alley, is anyone down there.
When you walk home using the park as a short cut, is anyone watching you?
When you put the dog out before you to bed, is anyone in the garden?
When you drive through an isolated place, is anyone following you?
You dont think these things in the day! You dont think things will happen to you in the day.
I think being a woman amplifies things as I am much more aware of my personal safety than my husband.
Thankfully I am able to look after myself but never be complacent, your personal safety is paramount.
Well put.
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Oscar Namechange
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
lou lou belle;1243434 wrote:
4. Domestic violence. Dealt with a male that had beaten his wife for a period of over 20 years. He was eventually arrested when the victim decided that with the help of the police she would be strong enough to go to court. He did not take his eye off her family the whole time in court. And smiled throughout the proceedings.
. As this is the 2nd post of yours I have quoted today, please don't get all sensitive that you are being trolled... merely that I can not believe some of what you write.
I don't believe you have the first idea about domestic violence. You write that you have dealt with one case. One case does not truely represent the under-lying reasons of domestic violence.
This is why we have trained Domestic violence units in this country that under-go detailed training into this field and it is not left to the bobby on the beat. Training is required as in most cases, it is not just the spouse that needs the help. There is always an under-lying reason why partners abuse their spouses and that needs to be addressed also, not just concentrate on the victem. Some-times the abuser is very much a victem themselves and with expert care, this can be addressed so they do not go on in life to abuse another. I really don't think you know what you are talking about.
4. Domestic violence. Dealt with a male that had beaten his wife for a period of over 20 years. He was eventually arrested when the victim decided that with the help of the police she would be strong enough to go to court. He did not take his eye off her family the whole time in court. And smiled throughout the proceedings.
. As this is the 2nd post of yours I have quoted today, please don't get all sensitive that you are being trolled... merely that I can not believe some of what you write.
I don't believe you have the first idea about domestic violence. You write that you have dealt with one case. One case does not truely represent the under-lying reasons of domestic violence.
This is why we have trained Domestic violence units in this country that under-go detailed training into this field and it is not left to the bobby on the beat. Training is required as in most cases, it is not just the spouse that needs the help. There is always an under-lying reason why partners abuse their spouses and that needs to be addressed also, not just concentrate on the victem. Some-times the abuser is very much a victem themselves and with expert care, this can be addressed so they do not go on in life to abuse another. I really don't think you know what you are talking about.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
oscar;1243532 wrote: As this is the 2nd post of yours I have quoted today, please don't get all sensitive that you are being trolled... merely that I can not believe some of what you write.
I don't believe you have the first idea about domestic violence. You write that you have dealt with one case. One case does not truely represent the under-lying reasons of domestic violence.
This is why we have trained Domestic violence units in this country that under-go detailed training into this field and it is not left to the bobby on the beat. Training is required as in most cases, it is not just the spouse that needs the help. There is always an under-lying reason why partners abuse their spouses and that needs to be addressed also, not just concentrate on the victem. Some-times the abuser is very much a victem themselves and with expert care, this can be addressed so they do not go on in life to abuse another. I really don't think you know what you are talking about.
That post really is unfair!
I don't believe you have the first idea about domestic violence. You write that you have dealt with one case. One case does not truely represent the under-lying reasons of domestic violence.
This is why we have trained Domestic violence units in this country that under-go detailed training into this field and it is not left to the bobby on the beat. Training is required as in most cases, it is not just the spouse that needs the help. There is always an under-lying reason why partners abuse their spouses and that needs to be addressed also, not just concentrate on the victem. Some-times the abuser is very much a victem themselves and with expert care, this can be addressed so they do not go on in life to abuse another. I really don't think you know what you are talking about.
That post really is unfair!
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Oscar Namechange
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
abbey;1243627 wrote: That post really is unfair!Then let me elaborate more.
Domestic violence is not simply a case of 'man hits wife', Police turn up, arrest husband, take him to court, case closed'.
The one case Lou Lou Belle says she was involved in was 20 years in the making. Where were the police for 20 years ?
Why did the woman not get help for 20 years?
What happened to the woman after her husband was convicted?
Unless you have had specialised training in the domestic violence Unit, it is very easy for any bobby to get involved in a case of 'man hits wife' and then finds out it has been going on for 20 years.
It is far far more complex than that.
Most abusers of spouses have been abused them selves.
Most abusers of spouses have grown up as children seeing domestic violence between their parents.
73% of cases coming to court see the victem return to the spouse.
6% of cases coming to court see the abuser go on to kill their partner.
It is a minefield that needs specialist help in getting the abuser help as well as the victem and not just a notch on a police officers truncheon for an assault charge. The effects of long term domestic violence are never ended when the spouse appears in court. If It was really that simple... the threat of arrest and conviction being a deterent for a partner to stop beating his spouse, domestic violence would have ended. The threat of arrest and an appearence in court is absolutely no deterent what-so-ever.
Domestic violence is not about the violence. it is about the control of another human being. Some do it through severe Inadeqecy deficiency or acute fear of loss. The violence is a way of controlling the person. This is why, a simple arrest and conviction will never rid the abuser of the desire to do this. They also need help.
The last time I checked the stats, 4% of abusers who lose their partner through domestic violence eventually... go on to commit suicide because they have lost control of that person.
This is why the domestic violence units in this country are specialised and expertly trained. The work carries on long after the conviction for assault of the abuser.
The abusers are certainly not born evil or are evil in any sense. Society and rearing determines an abuser in 99% of cases.
And, Yes.... I damn well do know what I'm talking about.
Domestic violence is not simply a case of 'man hits wife', Police turn up, arrest husband, take him to court, case closed'.
The one case Lou Lou Belle says she was involved in was 20 years in the making. Where were the police for 20 years ?
Why did the woman not get help for 20 years?
What happened to the woman after her husband was convicted?
Unless you have had specialised training in the domestic violence Unit, it is very easy for any bobby to get involved in a case of 'man hits wife' and then finds out it has been going on for 20 years.
It is far far more complex than that.
Most abusers of spouses have been abused them selves.
Most abusers of spouses have grown up as children seeing domestic violence between their parents.
73% of cases coming to court see the victem return to the spouse.
6% of cases coming to court see the abuser go on to kill their partner.
It is a minefield that needs specialist help in getting the abuser help as well as the victem and not just a notch on a police officers truncheon for an assault charge. The effects of long term domestic violence are never ended when the spouse appears in court. If It was really that simple... the threat of arrest and conviction being a deterent for a partner to stop beating his spouse, domestic violence would have ended. The threat of arrest and an appearence in court is absolutely no deterent what-so-ever.
Domestic violence is not about the violence. it is about the control of another human being. Some do it through severe Inadeqecy deficiency or acute fear of loss. The violence is a way of controlling the person. This is why, a simple arrest and conviction will never rid the abuser of the desire to do this. They also need help.
The last time I checked the stats, 4% of abusers who lose their partner through domestic violence eventually... go on to commit suicide because they have lost control of that person.
This is why the domestic violence units in this country are specialised and expertly trained. The work carries on long after the conviction for assault of the abuser.
The abusers are certainly not born evil or are evil in any sense. Society and rearing determines an abuser in 99% of cases.
And, Yes.... I damn well do know what I'm talking about.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Loulou posted snippets of her work, I dont see any suggestion that She'd only ever dealt with one case.
And as you are probably aware, a woman can take years of abuse before finally plucking up the courage to report it
And as you are probably aware, a woman can take years of abuse before finally plucking up the courage to report it
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Betty Boop
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
oscar;1243664 wrote:
Why did the woman not get help for 20 years?
Interestingly if you know what you are talking about then you could answer that question yourself.
Why did the woman not get help for 20 years?
Interestingly if you know what you are talking about then you could answer that question yourself.
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
I had a friend who went more than 20 years .
We live in a small town it is the shame of it,not wanting people to know.
We her friends knew but she would not report it & nothing can be done till it is reported officially.
She finally got brave & reported her husband,why "Because now my kids are grown & I can leave"
There is a whole lot more to this story a very sad story.
We live in a small town it is the shame of it,not wanting people to know.
We her friends knew but she would not report it & nothing can be done till it is reported officially.
She finally got brave & reported her husband,why "Because now my kids are grown & I can leave"
There is a whole lot more to this story a very sad story.
It's nice to be important,but more important to be nice.
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Oscar Namechange
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Betty Boop;1243673 wrote: Interestingly if you know what you are talking about then you could answer that question yourself. There is a number of reasons.
1) To control, the partner will keep the spouse short of money so she can not leave.
2) Threats to the children will stop a spouse reporting the violence. Or threat that they will never see their children again.
3) Control also means the abuser can make the victem believe that they deserve what is happening to them.
4) Over years, a total erosion of the victems self belief and confidence leading them to believe that no-one else would want to know them.
5) Fear of the abuser returning and killing them.
1) To control, the partner will keep the spouse short of money so she can not leave.
2) Threats to the children will stop a spouse reporting the violence. Or threat that they will never see their children again.
3) Control also means the abuser can make the victem believe that they deserve what is happening to them.
4) Over years, a total erosion of the victems self belief and confidence leading them to believe that no-one else would want to know them.
5) Fear of the abuser returning and killing them.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Betty Boop
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
oscar;1243683 wrote: There is a number of reasons.
1) To control, the partner will keep the spouse short of money so she can not leave.
2) Threats to the children will stop a spouse reporting the violence. Or threat that they will never see their children again.
3) Control also means the abuser can make the victem believe that they deserve what is happening to them.
4) Over years, a total erosion of the victems self belief and confidence leading them to believe that no-one else would want to know them.
5) Fear of the abuser returning and killing them.
Then why are you asking why were the police not involved for 20 years?? They can't get involved off their own backs!
1) To control, the partner will keep the spouse short of money so she can not leave.
2) Threats to the children will stop a spouse reporting the violence. Or threat that they will never see their children again.
3) Control also means the abuser can make the victem believe that they deserve what is happening to them.
4) Over years, a total erosion of the victems self belief and confidence leading them to believe that no-one else would want to know them.
5) Fear of the abuser returning and killing them.
Then why are you asking why were the police not involved for 20 years?? They can't get involved off their own backs!
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Oscar Namechange
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Betty Boop;1243687 wrote: Then why are you asking why were the police not involved for 20 years?? They can't get involved off their own backs! That is exactly my whole point here. Domestic violence reaches a point where eventually the police come in at some stage. If the spouse is arrested and appears in court, the police think 'Job done'. It's not... there is the previous 20 years to deal with and the aftermath.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Oscar Namechange
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
mrsK;1243682 wrote: I had a friend who went more than 20 years .
We live in a small town it is the shame of it,not wanting people to know.
We her friends knew but she would not report it & nothing can be done till it is reported officially.
She finally got brave & reported her husband,why "Because now my kids are grown & I can leave"
There is a whole lot more to this story a very sad story. This is very common. I hope your friend went on to meet some-one else who appreciated her.
We live in a small town it is the shame of it,not wanting people to know.
We her friends knew but she would not report it & nothing can be done till it is reported officially.
She finally got brave & reported her husband,why "Because now my kids are grown & I can leave"
There is a whole lot more to this story a very sad story. This is very common. I hope your friend went on to meet some-one else who appreciated her.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Betty Boop
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
oscar;1243692 wrote: That is exactly my whole point here. Domestic violence reaches a point where eventually the police come in at some stage. If the spouse is arrested and appears in court, the police think 'Job done'. It's not... there is the previous 20 years to deal with and the aftermath.
Do they?? Not in my case they don't. I dial 999 now and I still flash up as 'high risk' they will respond to my call immediately as they are well aware of the risks to us victims years after we have finally broken free.
What do you want the police to do with the previous 20 years??
Aftermath?? What do you want the police to do with it?
Do they?? Not in my case they don't. I dial 999 now and I still flash up as 'high risk' they will respond to my call immediately as they are well aware of the risks to us victims years after we have finally broken free.
What do you want the police to do with the previous 20 years??
Aftermath?? What do you want the police to do with it?
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Oscar Namechange
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Betty Boop;1243698 wrote: Do they?? Not in my case they don't. I dial 999 now and I still flash up as 'high risk' they will respond to my call immediately as they are well aware of the risks to us victims years after we have finally broken free.
What do you want the police to do with the previous 20 years??
Aftermath?? What do you want the police to do with it?
Your misunderstanding me.
The domestic violence Units are also trained to deal with the physcological effects of years of abuse should you need it and after care. Yes, you call the emergency services to deal with the threat at the moment it's happening... i.e. when they are kicking your door down. To get an abused spouse to find the courage to go through with criminal charges and leave their abusive partner is something else entirely that the average bobby on the beat is just not qualified to do. As I'm sure you know, the victem gets passed on to 'Victem support' by the bobbies.
What do you want the police to do with the previous 20 years??
Aftermath?? What do you want the police to do with it?
Your misunderstanding me.
The domestic violence Units are also trained to deal with the physcological effects of years of abuse should you need it and after care. Yes, you call the emergency services to deal with the threat at the moment it's happening... i.e. when they are kicking your door down. To get an abused spouse to find the courage to go through with criminal charges and leave their abusive partner is something else entirely that the average bobby on the beat is just not qualified to do. As I'm sure you know, the victem gets passed on to 'Victem support' by the bobbies.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Patsy Warnick
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
TruthB
I hope you have worked thru this incident with your stepmother.
A child usually will clearly indicate a uncomfortable situation since there's no reason otherwise - did you ever tell your Mother?
Yes - I've had to deal with devils too
N0 - it's not a night thread - I just haven't had a chance to get on the computer lately - your thread is interesting & does stirr up emotions I like to depress and
Memories I wish I could forget...
I admire you for speaking out & sharing..
Have I ever faced TRUE Evil - yes - several times, I Thank God daily I lived thru it..
Patsy
Patsy
I hope you have worked thru this incident with your stepmother.
A child usually will clearly indicate a uncomfortable situation since there's no reason otherwise - did you ever tell your Mother?
Yes - I've had to deal with devils too
N0 - it's not a night thread - I just haven't had a chance to get on the computer lately - your thread is interesting & does stirr up emotions I like to depress and
Memories I wish I could forget...
I admire you for speaking out & sharing..
Have I ever faced TRUE Evil - yes - several times, I Thank God daily I lived thru it..
Patsy
Patsy
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TruthBringer
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Patsy Warnick;1243820 wrote: TruthB
I hope you have worked thru this incident with your stepmother.
A child usually will clearly indicate a uncomfortable situation since there's no reason otherwise - did you ever tell your Mother?
Yes - I've had to deal with devils too
N0 - it's not a night thread - I just haven't had a chance to get on the computer lately - your thread is interesting & does stirr up emotions I like to depress and
Memories I wish I could forget...
I admire you for speaking out & sharing..
Have I ever faced TRUE Evil - yes - several times, I Thank God daily I lived thru it..
Patsy
Patsy
Thanks Patsy yeah I have had many years to get over it by now, I'm 26 now so I mean it seems so far behind me.
As far as telling my mother what was happening, My sister and I did tell my mother finally and thats when we flew back to Michigan. And then, a huge court battle took place between my mother and my father and my stepmother in which the judge ruled that we still had to visit my father for the summers and that he was still to have joint custody over us. However, the good news is that my mother refused to send us back to my father even though the courts told her that we still had to go there, even though we had both told the judge that we were being beaten, etc.
I remember the judge bringing me and my sister into a room and asking us who we wanted to live with. We picked my mom obviously. But for whatever reason, the Judge still awarded my Father joint custody, even though we told the judge flat out that we were being abused.
But either way, my Mom took a stand for both of us, and refused to send us for the summers even though technically we were supposed to go back by law. My father didn't fight it because he knew that we didn't want to see him either. Not after all that.
As for my stepmom, she was never arrested, thrown in jail, fined, or anything for what she had done. There was a little bit of scolding from the judge towards my stepmother, and a stern warning from what my Mother tells me (My sister and I were not allowed in the actual trial room), but other than that no punishment was dished out. The World is not always fair.....but I'm sure I don't need to tell you that hey?
I hope you have worked thru this incident with your stepmother.
A child usually will clearly indicate a uncomfortable situation since there's no reason otherwise - did you ever tell your Mother?
Yes - I've had to deal with devils too
N0 - it's not a night thread - I just haven't had a chance to get on the computer lately - your thread is interesting & does stirr up emotions I like to depress and
Memories I wish I could forget...
I admire you for speaking out & sharing..
Have I ever faced TRUE Evil - yes - several times, I Thank God daily I lived thru it..
Patsy
Patsy
Thanks Patsy yeah I have had many years to get over it by now, I'm 26 now so I mean it seems so far behind me.
As far as telling my mother what was happening, My sister and I did tell my mother finally and thats when we flew back to Michigan. And then, a huge court battle took place between my mother and my father and my stepmother in which the judge ruled that we still had to visit my father for the summers and that he was still to have joint custody over us. However, the good news is that my mother refused to send us back to my father even though the courts told her that we still had to go there, even though we had both told the judge that we were being beaten, etc.
I remember the judge bringing me and my sister into a room and asking us who we wanted to live with. We picked my mom obviously. But for whatever reason, the Judge still awarded my Father joint custody, even though we told the judge flat out that we were being abused.
But either way, my Mom took a stand for both of us, and refused to send us for the summers even though technically we were supposed to go back by law. My father didn't fight it because he knew that we didn't want to see him either. Not after all that.
As for my stepmom, she was never arrested, thrown in jail, fined, or anything for what she had done. There was a little bit of scolding from the judge towards my stepmother, and a stern warning from what my Mother tells me (My sister and I were not allowed in the actual trial room), but other than that no punishment was dished out. The World is not always fair.....but I'm sure I don't need to tell you that hey?
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lou lou belle
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
abbey;1243627 wrote: That post really is unfair!
I totally agree Abbey, ALL bobby's on the beat undergo domestic violence training as they often are first on scene to domestics. They are trained to deal with the victim, check children in the houses. Check previous calls and previous logs on both parties. Domestic violence teams in South Gloucestershire only work between the hours of 8.00am until 22.00 hours. Domestics happen 24/7 so that is the reason behind ALL police officers receiving training. There is also a team called CEU that deal with the handling of prisoners that have been arrested and are in custody. They often deal with domestics. I have worked in CEU.
Every file that is completed a DOM1 is completed which is a form that is sent to all agencies, including the domestic violence team. They will then complete their paperwork and visit the victim and have meeting with various agencies concerned.
I have been to at least 10 trials involving domestic violence.
I am not going to go into the domestic violence case placed on this thread as an example as there is such a thing as data protection, but lets just say it was more of a cultural reason behind the victim coming forward and reporting it.
I do not have to justify myself all the time, especially when Oscar is clearly does not have a clue at what a police officer actually does.
I was enjoying speaking to members on this thread, it is just a shame that yet again I have had to justify myself. I do not have to make things up in order to have an interesting conversation with members of this forum.
I will continue and hopefully have further interesting chats to members that are actually very nice to talk to.
I totally agree Abbey, ALL bobby's on the beat undergo domestic violence training as they often are first on scene to domestics. They are trained to deal with the victim, check children in the houses. Check previous calls and previous logs on both parties. Domestic violence teams in South Gloucestershire only work between the hours of 8.00am until 22.00 hours. Domestics happen 24/7 so that is the reason behind ALL police officers receiving training. There is also a team called CEU that deal with the handling of prisoners that have been arrested and are in custody. They often deal with domestics. I have worked in CEU.
Every file that is completed a DOM1 is completed which is a form that is sent to all agencies, including the domestic violence team. They will then complete their paperwork and visit the victim and have meeting with various agencies concerned.
I have been to at least 10 trials involving domestic violence.
I am not going to go into the domestic violence case placed on this thread as an example as there is such a thing as data protection, but lets just say it was more of a cultural reason behind the victim coming forward and reporting it.
I do not have to justify myself all the time, especially when Oscar is clearly does not have a clue at what a police officer actually does.
I was enjoying speaking to members on this thread, it is just a shame that yet again I have had to justify myself. I do not have to make things up in order to have an interesting conversation with members of this forum.
I will continue and hopefully have further interesting chats to members that are actually very nice to talk to.
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TruthBringer
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Ian;1243847 wrote: I've stood face to face with the Queen of England.
Yeah shes right up there with Hillary Clinton I would say. Who I have stood face to face with as well.
I don't trust either one of those ladies.
Yeah shes right up there with Hillary Clinton I would say. Who I have stood face to face with as well.
I don't trust either one of those ladies.
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lou lou belle
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
TruthBringer;1243850 wrote: Yeah shes right up there with Hillary Clinton I would say. Who I have stood face to face with as well.
I don't trust either one of those ladies.
I have had dinner with the queen, when I was in the Navy. She is really short and eats really quickly. She spoke to me for all of 5 seconds. Not sure I would class her as evil, I dont know that much about her. Could definately class some of her anscestors as evil though.
I don't trust either one of those ladies.
I have had dinner with the queen, when I was in the Navy. She is really short and eats really quickly. She spoke to me for all of 5 seconds. Not sure I would class her as evil, I dont know that much about her. Could definately class some of her anscestors as evil though.
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in the know
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
I have met a few people in my life that i would regard as evil. One was my maths teacher, he was just plain nasty. He would throw books at kids, ridicule them. He made one guy sit in a rubbish bin throughout the lesson. He would have a weird grin on his face when he chastised a pupil.
I found out quite recently that he was sacked 3 years after I left for hitting a child with a hocky stick.
He made me feel very uneasy, and had really dark, scary eyes, greasy hair and smelt of B.O. He never married and lived with his mother, really weird character.
I found out quite recently that he was sacked 3 years after I left for hitting a child with a hocky stick.
He made me feel very uneasy, and had really dark, scary eyes, greasy hair and smelt of B.O. He never married and lived with his mother, really weird character.
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
This thread represents an opportunity for me to off-load. For this, I thank you TB. Here is my first story.
There are three separate incidents where I have been faced with evil. As far as I can, I will write about each incident but I want to make an observation about ‘evil’ at the end.
The first incident occurred when I was at an age that my daughter is coming up to now. I was the first-born grandchild for my mother’s parents. My mother, the oldest, had two brothers and two sisters and I received a lot of love in those first couple of years. I saw a lot of my father then as well. However, this latter fact changed when my mother moved out of her parents’ home.
Even now, after all these years, I find it hard to discuss this period. My memory of the incidents has been blocked though I do have related memories of nightmares and incidents that indicate the nature of the ordeal. My family knew nothing and still know nothing of my ordeal. The perpetrator was my own mother. While I can’t discuss what happened, I can discuss how I was affected by it all.
I don’t know when my parents separated but I saw little of my father after we moved out of my grandparents’ home. I learnt when I was older that my parents divorced. My memory of my father has been replaced by another man, who my mother subsequently married and had two more children by.
I learnt to hide and lock down my feelings and emotions as a form of preventative defence. I became so effective at doing this that I am unable to explore them let alone express them. In the most extreme circumstances, they are forced out in an angry tirade directly from my subconscious which always leaves me at a disadvantage as I have never been able to explain this behaviour until recently. It is only recently that I have understood the psychological processes at work behind it.
My grandparents, who raised me from the age of 5, also played a part. They had no idea of what had happened to me as I was unable to tell them. So, other than taking me to a child psychiatrist for two years, they raised me as they did their other children. Thus, if I tried to complain about something, I was left to feel selfish. Through this, I never developed any self-worth and have put other people before myself. Later, when I was a teenager, my grandmother did tell me that if I ever hurt myself while playing, I would take myself into a corner to console myself rather than go to her.
As a young man, through reading Michael Moorcock, I became aware of the concept of the assistant to the champions – Jerry Cornelius. I found that I was able associate with this. All I needed was a champion to assist.
There was also an intellectual problem associated with locking down my emotions. I became unable to make logic jumps or to use my intuition and instincts to guide me. I needed every step explained and if any were missing that I could not fill in myself, I would not be able to move forward. This has affected my ability to progress with training. I tend to be absent-minded and my thoughts frequently wonder. I cannot focus for any length of time. I am certain that my myopia (short-sightedness) is also a result of this evil in my life.
I find that forming any kind of relationship is difficult. I want nothing more than to make friends and so I am willing to talk to anyone. On the other hand, I raise barriers to prevent any emotional attachment and subsequent distress. I have a way of pushing people to test their sincerity. This occurs subconsciously. I am not aware that I am doing it at the time. Those that have stuck with me are simply impervious to the test. At parties, I enjoy watching people enjoying themselves but rarely join in.
Now, I find that I simply do not want to get close to anyone except, of course, my daughter who does not represent a threat to my emotional security. FG has an abstract barrier in the form of the Internet. I have found it easier to make friends on FG than in real life and still retain my privacy.
Many different subjects interested me as I grew up, from astrology to astronomy, art to science. Maths was a breeze for me. But my incompetence and shyness in social interaction meant simply that I was doomed to fail at any given career. Even now this affects me. For instance, I have written songs that I could video myself singing at the very least and post them on the Internet. But I won’t. In my mind, they are rubbish and no one wants to hear them. Yet, I’ve heard worse songs in the charts.
Possibly as a result of the memory block, I am extremely forgetful. This has become worse as I have got older partly as I have given up trying to remember. Even important things easily slip from my memory.
At a very deep level, there remains a need to be loved by my natural parents. Most of us start life receiving the love of our parents and we learn to give love to those around us in return. My father did love me but he departed from my life before the evil events. He is probably unaware of what happened. Nonetheless, I was left with the feeling that he didn’t care. Although he spoke to my grandmother of his intentions to separate from my mother, he never left any means by which I could trace him. I never felt that he wanted me to and this was further reinforced by my lack of self-worth.
There are three separate incidents where I have been faced with evil. As far as I can, I will write about each incident but I want to make an observation about ‘evil’ at the end.
The first incident occurred when I was at an age that my daughter is coming up to now. I was the first-born grandchild for my mother’s parents. My mother, the oldest, had two brothers and two sisters and I received a lot of love in those first couple of years. I saw a lot of my father then as well. However, this latter fact changed when my mother moved out of her parents’ home.
Even now, after all these years, I find it hard to discuss this period. My memory of the incidents has been blocked though I do have related memories of nightmares and incidents that indicate the nature of the ordeal. My family knew nothing and still know nothing of my ordeal. The perpetrator was my own mother. While I can’t discuss what happened, I can discuss how I was affected by it all.
I don’t know when my parents separated but I saw little of my father after we moved out of my grandparents’ home. I learnt when I was older that my parents divorced. My memory of my father has been replaced by another man, who my mother subsequently married and had two more children by.
I learnt to hide and lock down my feelings and emotions as a form of preventative defence. I became so effective at doing this that I am unable to explore them let alone express them. In the most extreme circumstances, they are forced out in an angry tirade directly from my subconscious which always leaves me at a disadvantage as I have never been able to explain this behaviour until recently. It is only recently that I have understood the psychological processes at work behind it.
My grandparents, who raised me from the age of 5, also played a part. They had no idea of what had happened to me as I was unable to tell them. So, other than taking me to a child psychiatrist for two years, they raised me as they did their other children. Thus, if I tried to complain about something, I was left to feel selfish. Through this, I never developed any self-worth and have put other people before myself. Later, when I was a teenager, my grandmother did tell me that if I ever hurt myself while playing, I would take myself into a corner to console myself rather than go to her.
As a young man, through reading Michael Moorcock, I became aware of the concept of the assistant to the champions – Jerry Cornelius. I found that I was able associate with this. All I needed was a champion to assist.
There was also an intellectual problem associated with locking down my emotions. I became unable to make logic jumps or to use my intuition and instincts to guide me. I needed every step explained and if any were missing that I could not fill in myself, I would not be able to move forward. This has affected my ability to progress with training. I tend to be absent-minded and my thoughts frequently wonder. I cannot focus for any length of time. I am certain that my myopia (short-sightedness) is also a result of this evil in my life.
I find that forming any kind of relationship is difficult. I want nothing more than to make friends and so I am willing to talk to anyone. On the other hand, I raise barriers to prevent any emotional attachment and subsequent distress. I have a way of pushing people to test their sincerity. This occurs subconsciously. I am not aware that I am doing it at the time. Those that have stuck with me are simply impervious to the test. At parties, I enjoy watching people enjoying themselves but rarely join in.
Now, I find that I simply do not want to get close to anyone except, of course, my daughter who does not represent a threat to my emotional security. FG has an abstract barrier in the form of the Internet. I have found it easier to make friends on FG than in real life and still retain my privacy.
Many different subjects interested me as I grew up, from astrology to astronomy, art to science. Maths was a breeze for me. But my incompetence and shyness in social interaction meant simply that I was doomed to fail at any given career. Even now this affects me. For instance, I have written songs that I could video myself singing at the very least and post them on the Internet. But I won’t. In my mind, they are rubbish and no one wants to hear them. Yet, I’ve heard worse songs in the charts.
Possibly as a result of the memory block, I am extremely forgetful. This has become worse as I have got older partly as I have given up trying to remember. Even important things easily slip from my memory.
At a very deep level, there remains a need to be loved by my natural parents. Most of us start life receiving the love of our parents and we learn to give love to those around us in return. My father did love me but he departed from my life before the evil events. He is probably unaware of what happened. Nonetheless, I was left with the feeling that he didn’t care. Although he spoke to my grandmother of his intentions to separate from my mother, he never left any means by which I could trace him. I never felt that he wanted me to and this was further reinforced by my lack of self-worth.
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Ian;1244687 wrote: The roots of a plant stay underground while above it's creation flourishes,
your soul is it's watering can and your expression is the fruit.
Express yourself through your music and let the Bees do their work
try this Roger, who knows if something will work if you don't try.:-4
your soul is it's watering can and your expression is the fruit.
Express yourself through your music and let the Bees do their work
try this Roger, who knows if something will work if you don't try.:-4
Life is just to short for drama.
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Clodhopper
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Openmind: I don't of course know what happened between you and your mother, but your story rings many bells with me on both cause and effects. You are not alone.
The damage is real, and permanent (speaking from my experience), but you are still here, and valued.
The damage is real, and permanent (speaking from my experience), but you are still here, and valued.
The crowd: "Yes! We are all individuals!"
Lone voice: "I'm not."
Lone voice: "I'm not."
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Oscar Namechange
- Posts: 31842
- Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:26 am
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Clodhopper;1244748 wrote: Openmind: I don't of course know what happened between you and your mother, but your story rings many bells with me on both cause and effects. You are not alone.
The damage is real, and permanent (speaking from my experience), but you are still here, and valued.
My parents used to foster kids in the 60's. Some came from the most horrendous backgrounds. It taught me to be grateful for all that I had but I do remember the children wondering why their lives where so different to ours especially when it was time for them to go home. I always remember my father saying this' 'Parents recieve no training for becoming a parent. Some just get it wrong. It's not their fault, for they know no differnet'. I have always remembered that.
The damage is real, and permanent (speaking from my experience), but you are still here, and valued.
My parents used to foster kids in the 60's. Some came from the most horrendous backgrounds. It taught me to be grateful for all that I had but I do remember the children wondering why their lives where so different to ours especially when it was time for them to go home. I always remember my father saying this' 'Parents recieve no training for becoming a parent. Some just get it wrong. It's not their fault, for they know no differnet'. I have always remembered that.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Thank you guys for your comments. I will try your suggestion, Ian, and see what happens. Sadly, my guitar was damaged in the fire at my last place. It wasn't burnt but the neck appears to be bent as I can't tune it anymore. That is to say, I can play the first 5 frets but beyond that it is out of tune. Perhaps I can sing an unaccompanied song and video it.
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Oscar Namechange
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- Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:26 am
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
OpenMind;1244869 wrote: Thank you guys for your comments. I will try your suggestion, Ian, and see what happens. Sadly, my guitar was damaged in the fire at my last place. It wasn't burnt but the neck appears to be bent as I can't tune it anymore. That is to say, I can play the first 5 frets but beyond that it is out of tune. Perhaps I can sing an unaccompanied song and video it.
Fancy another 4 hour chat wednesday night?
I ordered Arabella's xmas pesent. :-4
Fancy another 4 hour chat wednesday night?
I ordered Arabella's xmas pesent. :-4
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
[oscar;1244892]
Why yes, yes I have.
[oscar;1244892]
Why yes, yes I have.
I AM AWESOME MAN
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Oscar Namechange
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- Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:26 am
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Nomad;1244893 wrote: Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
[oscar;1244892]
Why yes, yes I have. :wah:
[oscar;1244892]
Why yes, yes I have. :wah:
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
oscar;1244892 wrote: Fancy another 4 hour chat wednesday night?
I ordered Arabella's xmas pesent. :-4
I'm up for it.
I ordered Arabella's xmas pesent. :-4
I'm up for it.
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TruthBringer
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- Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2006 5:39 pm
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
I appreciate you sharing your feelings in this thread with us OpenMind. If you're anything like I am, writing them out of you is one way to release some of the negative energy attached to them.
I know what you are saying about you're music being better than some of the things on the charts. I can tell you this much, if I wanted to be a professional writer I feel that in many cases I could be really effective at it. But sometimes, once we realize that we are already performing the craft, the satisfaction is ours and ours alone if we really get what we want out of it.
As for what happened to you, I can't say that I totally understand what did because you didn't exactly spare the details (most likely because you are embarrased of some of the details? Or perhaps because of the fact that you feel that they are not appropriate for the board?) In either case, it appears that it did have an effect on your psyche, and for that I am only hoping that you have found ways to release the emotional pain that is has caused you. It will be in your memory for the rest of your life, there is no doubt in that, how far you are able to separate your current reality from it though is entirely up to you. And when you realize that whoever hurt you can no longer now or in the future, and that forgiveness is key but forgetfulness is an impossibility, and when you are able to separate the two and accept the second, you will be much better off. Thats really all I have to say on the matter.
But..I would like to add that if it's judgement on the board you are worried about, don't be. In the end, most people here will have forgotten that you even told your story in the first place (when this thread dies out), but it's the emotional release that you get from writing out your emotions that is the true benefit that I was hoping to attain by making this thread. If it helps anyone do that, then my goal was a success.
I know what you are saying about you're music being better than some of the things on the charts. I can tell you this much, if I wanted to be a professional writer I feel that in many cases I could be really effective at it. But sometimes, once we realize that we are already performing the craft, the satisfaction is ours and ours alone if we really get what we want out of it.
As for what happened to you, I can't say that I totally understand what did because you didn't exactly spare the details (most likely because you are embarrased of some of the details? Or perhaps because of the fact that you feel that they are not appropriate for the board?) In either case, it appears that it did have an effect on your psyche, and for that I am only hoping that you have found ways to release the emotional pain that is has caused you. It will be in your memory for the rest of your life, there is no doubt in that, how far you are able to separate your current reality from it though is entirely up to you. And when you realize that whoever hurt you can no longer now or in the future, and that forgiveness is key but forgetfulness is an impossibility, and when you are able to separate the two and accept the second, you will be much better off. Thats really all I have to say on the matter.
But..I would like to add that if it's judgement on the board you are worried about, don't be. In the end, most people here will have forgotten that you even told your story in the first place (when this thread dies out), but it's the emotional release that you get from writing out your emotions that is the true benefit that I was hoping to attain by making this thread. If it helps anyone do that, then my goal was a success.
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Clodhopper
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Been thinking about it and I don't think I have. Had some rough times and been involved with people who have damaged me quite badly but I don't think they were particularly evil, just reflecting their own problems or at worst, amoral. Perhaps some of the things they did might be classed as evil, but I wouldn't want to see them burn for all eternity in hellfire because of it.
The crowd: "Yes! We are all individuals!"
Lone voice: "I'm not."
Lone voice: "I'm not."
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TruthBringer
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- Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2006 5:39 pm
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
Clodhopper;1245200 wrote: Been thinking about it and I don't think I have. Had some rough times and been involved with people who have damaged me quite badly but I don't think they were particularly evil, just reflecting their own problems or at worst, amoral. Perhaps some of the things they did might be classed as evil, but I wouldn't want to see them burn for all eternity in hellfire because of it.
Why tie Christianity into it? Do you not believe that Evil exists outside of Christianity? The burning in hell reference is what I am referring to of course. Obviously evil has existed way before Christianity ever did. And....even before Jesus, for that matter. Even your own Bible speaks of it.
Are you saying you don't believe Evil exists? Or...are you just stating that to your knowledge you have never had a brush with it?
Why tie Christianity into it? Do you not believe that Evil exists outside of Christianity? The burning in hell reference is what I am referring to of course. Obviously evil has existed way before Christianity ever did. And....even before Jesus, for that matter. Even your own Bible speaks of it.
Are you saying you don't believe Evil exists? Or...are you just stating that to your knowledge you have never had a brush with it?
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Clodhopper
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
I've not experienced evil of the sort you define in your opening posts.
I didn't think I was particularly bringing Christianity into it, I was just saying that even though the people I was referring to have been very unpleasant I wouldn't want to see them suffer for all eternity for it, under any system.
I am sure evil is real. Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot and all the followers they misled or terrified into committing horrors, for example. But I have never personally seen it full on - just the outermost edges of it.
I didn't think I was particularly bringing Christianity into it, I was just saying that even though the people I was referring to have been very unpleasant I wouldn't want to see them suffer for all eternity for it, under any system.
I am sure evil is real. Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot and all the followers they misled or terrified into committing horrors, for example. But I have never personally seen it full on - just the outermost edges of it.
The crowd: "Yes! We are all individuals!"
Lone voice: "I'm not."
Lone voice: "I'm not."
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Oscar Namechange
- Posts: 31842
- Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:26 am
Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
TruthBringer;1245205 wrote: Why tie Christianity into it? Do you not believe that Evil exists outside of Christianity? The burning in hell reference is what I am referring to of course. Obviously evil has existed way before Christianity ever did. And....even before Jesus, for that matter. Even your own Bible speaks of it.
Are you saying you don't believe Evil exists? Or...are you just stating that to your knowledge you have never had a brush with it? I have never believed anyone is truely evil. People do what they do through society, the way they were raised, lack of knowledge and down right stupidity or arrogance. They eventually see the error of their ways and have regrets. The path is forgiveness not persecution.
Are you saying you don't believe Evil exists? Or...are you just stating that to your knowledge you have never had a brush with it? I have never believed anyone is truely evil. People do what they do through society, the way they were raised, lack of knowledge and down right stupidity or arrogance. They eventually see the error of their ways and have regrets. The path is forgiveness not persecution.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Clodhopper
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Have You Ever Had To Face True Evil?
I have never believed anyone is truely evil.
I think very few if any are born that way, though I could be wrong, but I do think people can corrupt themselves and others and so become evil. That's what happened to Hitler, for example. By the end there are reports from people who were with him saying that when you looked into his eyes you could see his soul had died. Whatever that means.
Macbeth is still the greatest ever exploration of the process that I know of.
I think very few if any are born that way, though I could be wrong, but I do think people can corrupt themselves and others and so become evil. That's what happened to Hitler, for example. By the end there are reports from people who were with him saying that when you looked into his eyes you could see his soul had died. Whatever that means.
Macbeth is still the greatest ever exploration of the process that I know of.
The crowd: "Yes! We are all individuals!"
Lone voice: "I'm not."
Lone voice: "I'm not."