ForumGarden

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

'If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride!'

AND......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans..

3... The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

This has been in my signature for years I just changed it a bit.

[QUOTE]'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride!'

[/QUOTE]

hoppy;1198143 wrote: Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

'If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride!'

AND......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans..

3... The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you.




and what happens to the Canadians?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Well we know what happens to the Brits, they eat macDonalds, Kentury Fried Chicken, Dominos Pizza and die young after becoming obese, and having been told to exercise their way out it it all! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Seriously, my grandparents all lived to their 90's and took a half an hour's walk a day, cooked fresh, had a nap every afternoon they could, and slept a lot! I rest my case!

I smoke 60 --- 70 ciggs a day. I eat kentucky, kebabs and pizza probably once a week each. I run every day........ usually away from the police or after Puppy Rosie before she bolts down a badger sett but i do run. I really enjoy it and wish i didn't run so far so i didn't have so far to walk home. I suppose i am very healthy considering my eating and smoking habits and i can still get my legs over my shoulders. What all that says about me, i have no idea.

Vesuvius;1198654 wrote: Well we know what happens to the Brits, they eat macDonalds, Kentury Fried Chicken, Dominos Pizza and die young after becoming obese, and having been told to exercise their way out it it all! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Seriously, my grandparents all lived to their 90's and took a half an hour's walk a day, cooked fresh, had a nap every afternoon they could, and slept a lot! I rest my case!


omg!:eek::yh_sick



that's just way to much crappy food!::yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl



so glad I eat right and exercise daily.:guitarist

oscar;1198683 wrote: I smoke 60 --- 70 ciggs a day. I eat kentucky, kebabs and pizza probably once a week each. I run every day........ usually away from the police or after Puppy Rosie before she bolts down a badger sett but i do run. I really enjoy it and wish i didn't run so far so i didn't have so far to walk home. I suppose i am very healthy considering my eating and smoking habits and i can still get my legs over my shoulders. What all that says about me, i have no idea.




:wah::wah:



You run too far then walk home...

Just throwing this out there but why not run a shorter distance then run both ways ?

oscar;1198683 wrote: ... and i can still get my legs over my shouldersOh go on, that's easy - anyone can get your legs over their shoulders.

hoppy;1198143 wrote: Q:

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!




Ahhhh chocolate!!! I don't know if this girl can get her legs over her head but who cares.. she's the Chocolate Woman... and sexy as heck..

YouTube - Olivia Ruiz La femme Chocolat



??? Does the yoga plough position count???

spot;1198773 wrote: Oh go on, that's easy - anyone can get your legs over their shoulders.


:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

spot;1198773 wrote: Oh go on, that's easy - anyone can get your legs over their shoulders.
While your standing up?????????

Nomad;1198750 wrote: :wah::wah:



You run too far then walk home...

Just throwing this out there but why not run a shorter distance then run both ways ? I have to walk home as i'm too puffed to run home. Anyway, i have to stop to light cigs on route.

oscar;1198898 wrote: I have to walk home as i'm too puffed to run home. Anyway, i have to stop to light cigs on route.


Do you have a pocker surfer?

qsducks;1198905 wrote: Do you have a pocker surfer? I do actually ducks but keep forgetting to take it out with me. Besides, it's very difficult to run home whilst smoking and eating a kebab.

oscar;1198958 wrote: I do actually ducks but keep forgetting to take it out with me. Besides, it's very difficult to run home whilst smoking and eating a kebab.


What a wonderful visual - and it's stayed with me all morning.

I still hold to my IDEAL CHOCOLATE WOMAN - though sadly I can't eat the brown stuff myself... Hack off my thighs with an axe, chomp my bones if you have to and lick my skin - there's nutella running in my veins... I've eaten too much chockie and metamorphsed... I'm the Femme en Chocolat! What a concept. What a woman!!!

AussiePam;1199380 wrote: What a wonderful visual - and it's stayed with me all morning.

I still hold to my IDEAL CHOCOLATE WOMAN - though sadly I can't eat the brown stuff myself... Hack off my thighs with an axe, chomp my bones if you have to and lick my skin - there's nutella running in my veins... I've eaten too much chockie and metamorphsed... I'm the Femme en Chocolat! What a concept. What a woman!!!


NUTELLA?

YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION!:guitarist:guitarist:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Nutella? I just saw an unopened jar in my pantry yesterday. I almost forgot that rascal!

Zapata;1199616 wrote: Nutella? I just saw an unopened jar in my pantry yesterday. I almost forgot that rascal!


I finally saw Nutella in the store yesterday but passed on it. Will have to try it some other day.

qsducks;1199621 wrote: I finally saw Nutella in the store yesterday but passed on it. Will have to try it some other day.


I have to google that. Never heard of it before. :-3

Sunshine;1199622 wrote: I have to google that. Never heard of it before. :-3


It's next to the peanut butter at my store. I'll try it later this summer on my fave guinea pig...Quin.:-4

It's very good stuff. If you like chocolate, that is . . .well . . . I haven't had chocolate in such a long time, since I've been on this crummy diet and I did notice my scale the 5th time I stepped on it today said I'd lost another pound, since 3 days ago . . .

I wonder if Nutella goes bad after being hidden in the dark pantry for 2 months? Maybe I'd better go check it out . . .maybe if I stand up, in the dark and eat a spoonful or four, the calories won't go straight to my hips and linger there for eternity.

Zapata;1199639 wrote: It's very good stuff. If you like chocolate, that is . . .well . . . I haven't had chocolate in such a long time, since I've been on this crummy diet and I did notice my scale the 5th time I stepped on it today said I'd lost another pound, since 3 days ago . . .

I wonder if Nutella goes bad after being hidden in the dark pantry for 2 months? Maybe I'd better go check it out . . .maybe if I stand up, in the dark and eat a spoonful or four, the calories won't go straight to my hips and linger there for eternity.


In that case I better never eat it...all my fat goes to my tummy:wah:

Nutella is a scrumptious spread involving chocolate and ground hazelnut. It's common in Australia but an absolute passion in France (also Germany) where it's slathered on bread at breakfast. Tartine et Chocolat..... so basic that this is also the name of a kids' clothes range.

---

I just googled Nutella and find it was actually invented in Piedmont in north west Italy!!! After the war, to make up for the lack of chocolate available - the pastrymaker bulked out his supply with local hazelnut meal. Bravo, Signor Ferrero!!

The History of Nutella

That's gotta get you the reply of the month award pam! bravo you!