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Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:02 pm
by Lon
Grimm subject isn't it? Life and death are a part of the cycle and yet many have this abject fear of death. Some of us do not really fear death as much as the process, pain, lingering on, burden on others. Animals will die, not very many of old age. Some will die in test labs, some will be killed by hunters. Most will be killed and eaten by other animals as they grow old and weaken. Aren't you glad that's not the case with we human beings.

Hunters will kill animals and this disturbs many, I don't know why. Empathy for fuzzy critters maybe.

At 74 I should kick off way before most on this FG site, and yet statistically that will not be the case, as there will be some on FG that will precede me in death. Disturbing? Then there are those that fear death because of the HEREAFTER and whether or not they will be admitted to some Magical Kingdom.

What thoughts do you have on death and dying or is this a subject you fear to discuss?

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:08 pm
by OpenMind
I'm only concerned that I die before I get certain things done. Or, if my daughter is with me at the time. I have a heart condition. I have raised this as a concern, but it has been ignored for some reason.

When I was walking every day, my condition improved as this is the kind of thing my heart needs. My work, however, is not particularly beneficial for my heart.

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:11 pm
by Pheasy
My fear of death is not death itself , although I would prefer if it's not painful :thinking: I could go out to the woods and see if a rouge deer could give me with a clean shot in the head :D

My fear of death is for what I will leave behind. I know through experience that 'mine' will get over it ... they will be okay. But I want to stay here and have it all!! ... watch my kids grow up into adults, watch them become parents and grandparents too. Hubby has to stay with me, I don't want to have to deal with losing him. My fears are all selfish ones.

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:18 pm
by chonsigirl
I not fear death, and the hereafter because of my religious beliefs. I am like Pheasy, I worry for those I leave behind, because who would care for my husband? It is a burden to place on the children, I left contigencies about it in my will.

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:24 pm
by Milly
I used to fear death... however, after surviving breast cancer and struggling with sarcoidosis, I no longer fear death at all... I celebrate life! :-4

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:31 pm
by Lon
OpenMind;1043094 wrote: I'm only concerned that I die before I get certain things done. Or, if my daughter is with me at the time. I have a heart condition. I have raised this as a concern, but it has been ignored for some reason.

When I was walking every day, my condition improved as this is the kind of thing my heart needs. My work, however, is not particularly beneficial for my heart.


Get back to walking my friend, if that is what your heart needs.

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:31 pm
by CARLA
I just want to go quick I have no fear of death. I have lived long enough to see my family all grown up and on their own that is all I wished for on this earth. When its my time so be it. While I'm here I will live each day to the fullest as our time here is so very short.

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:33 pm
by Lon
Milly;1043101 wrote: I used to fear death... however, after surviving breast cancer and struggling with sarcoidosis, I no longer fear death at all... I celebrate life! :-4


I know what you mean Milly. I am a Prostate Cancer survivor of 20 years and currently have Waldenstrom's. Gives one a different perspective doesn't it?

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:37 pm
by Milly
Lon;1043106 wrote: I know what you mean Milly. I am a Prostate Cancer survivor of 20 years and currently have Waldenstrom's. Gives one a different perspective doesn't it?


It does indeed Lon ;)

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:38 pm
by hoppy
I have lived through some great times. I just want the end to be quick. Age has taken my health, the docs and government is taking the rest. I see few good times in the future, for anyone.

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:39 pm
by OpenMind
Lon;1043104 wrote: Get back to walking my friend, if that is what your heart needs.


If I could I would. My work interferes and I don't have the time to go walking. I go walking once a week, but it is not enough.

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:43 pm
by Lon
OpenMind;1043110 wrote: If I could I would. My work interferes and I don't have the time to go walking. I go walking once a week, but it is not enough.


Re-arrange your time and go for maybe shorter walks, but walk, it's important. No excuses now.:)

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:49 pm
by Pheasy
I don't fear what will happen to me when I die. I figure that one of two things are likely, either there will be nothing, or there will be something better.

If there IS a bad place for evil people and I end up there, then that means that I got the difference between good and evil completely wrong and deserve to be there ;)

Unless of course pissing a few people off counts. :D

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:57 pm
by OpenMind
Lon;1043112 wrote: Re-arrange your time and go for maybe shorter walks, but walk, it's important. No excuses now.:)


Ok, Lon. I will do that.:-6

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 2:16 pm
by Peg
I fear the death of my loved ones more than I fear my own death. I would hope my death would be I'd go to sleep one night and just not wake up. Life may or may not have a different plan for me. I've seen both of my kids graduate. That makes me happy. I really hope to be around long enough to see my future grandchildren and them be old enough to remember me when I'm gone.

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 3:35 pm
by kazalala
I never used to fear death, why worry about something you have no control over? but after watching someone die,, it made me think about it more,, what is it actually like? I mean when you are dying ,,not when its an instant thing like being killed instantly in an accident:-3 I just hope i am lucky enough to live until i am an old woman, theres lts more i want to see , experience before i go. i think you prbably thin about it more as you get older, but for me when i think to myself,, my god one day i just wont be here anymore,, it stops me stressing about the little things and helos me enjoy the little things;):D

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 3:47 pm
by Mia
Lon I am not afraid to die,I just worry how upset that my family will be we be when I do. I guess ew have alll been through this and had to deal with it as I have with loss of parents etc. I am not a religious person so I think death is leaving this world with no memories like we had none before birth. I just hope that my demise will not be from one long painful illness,quick and over with will suit me fine.

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 3:49 pm
by minks
I don't dear death but I fear the pathway leading to it. I hope my body does not die before my mind. I can't imagine what it must have been like for my ex father in law to have taken 4 months to die... or my grandparents who took, 8 and 10 months to die. Medical profesionals said they did not feel pain but I am not convinced.

I hope for my sake and the ones I leave behind that I go instantly.

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 3:54 pm
by Pheasy
minks;1043258 wrote: I don't dear death but I fear the pathway leading to it. I hope my body does not die before my mind. I can't imagine what it must have been like for my ex father in law to have taken 4 months to die... or my grandparents who took, 8 and 10 months to die. Medical profesionals said they did not feel pain but I am not convinced.

I hope for my sake and the ones I leave behind that I go instantly.


My mum was on life support before she died. I often wonder when she truely died - when she went.

I always remember a member of the nursing staff telling me that the last thing to go is a persons hearing. Firstly how do they know that? Secondly I hope they were wrong, cos her last memories would have been hearing me beg her to stay, and that she was not allowed to leave us. Selfish big time!

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 4:01 pm
by minks
Pheasy;1043270 wrote: My mum was on life support before she died. I often wonder when she truely died - when she went.

I always remember a member of the nursing staff telling me that the last thing to go is a persons hearing. Firstly how do they know that? Secondly I hope they were wrong, cos her last memories would have been hearing me beg her to stay, and that she was not allowed to leave us. Selfish big time!


Exactly Pheasy, my FIL was on life support for his 4 months and some of the family wanted to take him off, some of the family said no and the decision maker was completely torn. My poor FIL I know he knew when his grand daughters came in but he could not physically acknowledge them. All 3 of them were so special to him and he knew it but exactly what he felt during those 4 months who knows... I am certain if he could have he would have pushed to be congnitive enough to tell them how much he loved them. :-1

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 4:18 pm
by Lon
Pheasy;1043270 wrote: My mum was on life support before she died. I often wonder when she truely died - when she went.

I always remember a member of the nursing staff telling me that the last thing to go is a persons hearing. Firstly how do they know that? Secondly I hope they were wrong, cos her last memories would have been hearing me beg her to stay, and that she was not allowed to leave us. Selfish big time!


Well in my case the hearing has been steadily going for the past 10 years. I wear aids in both ears.

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 4:26 pm
by Pheasy
Lon;1043300 wrote: Well in my case the hearing has been steadily going for the past 10 years. I wear aids in both ears.


Actually thats a good point! As we age our eye sight and hearing deteriote, so where did this hearing is the last to go come from :-6

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 5:09 pm
by Lon
Pheasy;1043309 wrote: Actually thats a good point! As we age our eye sight and hearing deteriote, so where did this hearing is the last to go come from :-6


My hearing loss is probably due to two things. I was in the Air Force and around jet engines before ear covers became mandatory, secondly, I have always liked my music loud, particularly percussion.

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 6:48 pm
by Hope6
i was gonna start a thread tonight about how we never know when a day is gonna be our last, but i think i will put it here!

my cousins ex wife, they have 3 small children, they are divorced and she is remarried. it was her 40th birthday yesterday, she got a birthday gift, a sky diving lesson.

her husband went too, he jumped and all was fine, she was connected to the instructor, they jumped together, there chute didn't open, both of them were killed!

i know that sky diving is a dangerous undertaking but whenever i hear of anything like this, it makes me think about how we never know when our time is gonna be up!

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 8:08 pm
by shelbell
Even tho I have Christian beliefs, sometimes death scares me. I watched my dad get eaten by cancer for 8 years...I'm afraid that will happen to me. I want to be able to watch my youngest (16) graduate both high school and college....I want to see her married. I'm afraid that my grandsons won't remember me. I'm afraid of getting alzheimers and not remembering my family...or having a mind that is still sharp, but my body won't work. I guess it's more fear of the way of dying and what I'll miss out on.

Death

Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 11:33 pm
by recovering conservative
Lon;1043089 wrote: Grimm subject isn't it? Life and death are a part of the cycle and yet many have this abject fear of death. Some of us do not really fear death as much as the process, pain, lingering on, burden on others. Animals will die, not very many of old age. Some will die in test labs, some will be killed by hunters. Most will be killed and eaten by other animals as they grow old and weaken. Aren't you glad that's not the case with we human beings.

Hunters will kill animals and this disturbs many, I don't know why. Empathy for fuzzy critters maybe.

At 74 I should kick off way before most on this FG site, and yet statistically that will not be the case, as there will be some on FG that will precede me in death. Disturbing? Then there are those that fear death because of the HEREAFTER and whether or not they will be admitted to some Magical Kingdom.

What thoughts do you have on death and dying or is this a subject you fear to discuss?


Lon, our sense of self-awareness that we are mortal and will die at some time in the future makes us unique in the animal world -- although I should add a caveat there because some research indicates that chimpanzees and elephants have at least some awareness of death. Both animals grieve when family members die: elephants even linger over the bones of long-dead relatives. Combine that with the evidence that higher mammals share a full range of emotions with us, such as happiness, sadness, anger, fear, love, and hate, and it's a lot harder to make a clear line of demarcation between us and the animal world -- so I'm not going to object to hunting, as long as they know what they can shoot straight and do not cause unnecessary pain and suffering.

You are correct that in nature, animals do not have the luxury of living in comfort and dying of natural causes; most prey and predator animals are going to succumb to a violent death or die from starvation or disease. But just because that's the law of the jungle in nature, it is no excuse for us to cause unnecessary animal suffering because we have the capability to prevent it.

Looking at the big picture, the realization that our world is full of suffering and death, has been the primary motivation to create religions and try to wish the Problem of Evil away -- either by imagining a supernatural world up above the stars, where everything is perfect and never dies, or the other option is usually apocalyptic religions that try to square the circle of a perfect, loving creator and the present state of the world by telling us that it is only a temporary aberration; and a new, perfect, immortal world will soon replace it.

Death is a hard enough concept to accept; but now that cosmologists are discovering that our universe itself is mortal, and many astrobiologists are beginning to suspect that the conditions necessary to support complex intelligent lifeforms is extremely rare -- if we are a fluke, and the universe was not created with us in mind, and will carry on with or without us, that's another blow to our sense of purpose and place in the cosmos! And that's where some people might find themselves wishing they could believe in things they no longer find to be plausible!

Personally, what bothers me about death, has already been mentioned in other comments -- hitting middle-age and having to watch some of the people I have been closest to become sick and die. And I am hoping that I do not face a future of suffering from some form of sickness or another! Death itself isn't as scary! I didn't miss this place before I was born, so I don't think I will miss it after I am gone.

Death

Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 12:29 am
by wildhorses
Pheasy;1043115 wrote: I don't fear what will happen to me when I die. I figure that one of two things are likely, either there will be nothing, or there will be something better.

If there IS a bad place for evil people and I end up there, then that means that I got the difference between good and evil completely wrong and deserve to be there ;)

Unless of course pissing a few people off counts. :D


If this is true then I will see you there ....lol. So will everyone on the planet.

Death

Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 12:33 am
by wildhorses
Pheasy;1043270 wrote: My mum was on life support before she died. I often wonder when she truely died - when she went.

I always remember a member of the nursing staff telling me that the last thing to go is a persons hearing. Firstly how do they know that? Secondly I hope they were wrong, cos her last memories would have been hearing me beg her to stay, and that she was not allowed to leave us. Selfish big time!


Better to hear someone by your side....than to die alone. I am sure she appreciated your presence and sentiment very much.

Death

Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 2:25 am
by Nomad
My impending death is what keeps me motivated now.

Death

Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 12:55 pm
by scholle-kid
I lived with and helped my grand parents the last few years of their life , my grandpa 's mind never 'aged' he could remember this morning or any certain day 60 years ago ,he passed at 89. it was really very sad to watch his anger and fustration at knowing how to do and what to do but having a 89 year old hard worked body that just refused to let him 'get up and go do. One eveing he was feeling 'yucky' and my uncle called 911 against grandpa wishes, the call was made at 10pm my grandpa drew his last breath 11 minutes beforw the EMT's got there, His greatest 'fear' was to die in a hospital

my grandma on the other hand,her mind and body aged equally and that was sad to watch this wonderful woman that had raised me all my life need assistance to do some of the simple basic everyday things, she passed 3 years after my grandpa she was 83 .That is my 'fear' either one of these condictions , as hard on the family as it is to watch what the years do to our loved ones it doublely hard on our loved ones that are living with 'what the years are doing to them.

My dad on the other hand was affixeated by carbon gas while working on a truck without proper ventaletion , no he did not plan to or want to go ,it was an un fore seen accident , my daughter was killed instantly in an car wreck , she died as quick as a human being can be die, haveing been a by stander and seeing these different ways a human can go I would like to go the way my daughter did.

Death

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 11:03 am
by Raven
Lon;1043089 wrote: Grimm subject isn't it? Life and death are a part of the cycle and yet many have this abject fear of death. Some of us do not really fear death as much as the process, pain, lingering on, burden on others. Animals will die, not very many of old age. Some will die in test labs, some will be killed by hunters. Most will be killed and eaten by other animals as they grow old and weaken. Aren't you glad that's not the case with we human beings.

Hunters will kill animals and this disturbs many, I don't know why. Empathy for fuzzy critters maybe.

At 74 I should kick off way before most on this FG site, and yet statistically that will not be the case, as there will be some on FG that will precede me in death. Disturbing? Then there are those that fear death because of the HEREAFTER and whether or not they will be admitted to some Magical Kingdom.

What thoughts do you have on death and dying or is this a subject you fear to discuss?


Wow Lon! Deep subject here. I am not afraid of death. Nor of dying. As a nurse, I am quite exposed to it. The issue is living. Some are more afraid to live than to die. I just want to make sure I dont leave this mortal coil with any regrets.