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NEVER SAY TO A COP



1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)



2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.



3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?



4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!



5. Are You Andy or Barney?



6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.



7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?



8. I pay your salary!



9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.



11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other

cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.



12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

One time I got pulled over by a cop on the way to work.

This is back when I was on nightshift.

I parked by the bar as it is close to post office and if I park there it is easier to get back onto main street.

So the police officer thinks I was at the bar.

She pulls me over and asks if I had been drinking.

I'm like I'm on my way to work not thinking of the ramifications of where I was parked.

I ask her if I was doning anything wrong and she again asks if I have been drinking.

I'm like no I"m on my way to work. I don't drink before I go into work.

And she is like, "Why didn't you so in the fist place"

I told her that I believed in the 2nd and 5th ammendments.

And she is like reaching for her gun asking me if I had a gun.

I"m like no but I'll bet if I had not answered her faster my whole car would have been searched.

My main regret was not asking her out at the time becaue she was cute and I was single back in that era. Later found out she was married so I could quit kicking myself for not asking her out.

It is amazing that it seems some police officers are upset when your not drinking and driving.

Lotto

http://www.flalottomagic.net/cgi-local/ ... elcome-344

MagicZ4941

When I was younger and drove my bright yellow '69 Camaro at close to the speed of sound everywhere, I had a serious attitude problem with the police.

When I'd get pulled over, I'd usually say something stupid like, "Hey pig! Why did you pull me over?! I was only goin' 80, the guy in front of me was doing over 90! Seig heil, Nazi!"

(Whereupon I would make the Hitler salute.)

i could never figure out why I got 6 tickets and my friends all got off with warnings.

Now ....on the EXTREMELY rare occasion that I get pulled over, I actually smile, relax and enjoy the adventure. I usually roll my window down and give a big smile accompanied by "Good afternoon, officer! I'll bet you pulled me over for speeding. I'm terribly sorry and I have no excuse for being unsafe. Here are my license, proof of insurance, and registration. So how's with you today?" :rolleyes:

One way street! Hey! It's a one way!

You can't park there!

Good thing I paid for that badge you're wearing.

"oh officer, you look so sexy in that uniform"...oh yeah? ...and how cute do i look with my dainty boot on your neck buddy? :yh_femfig

lady cop wrote: "oh officer, you look so sexy in that uniform"...oh yeah? ...and how cute do i look with my dainty little boot on your neck buddy? :yh_femfig
This is called a... ?

I always turn off the car, roll down both windows, get the proof of insurance and registration out of the glove box and leave the glove box open. Get my license and CCW out of my wallet. If it's dark out I turn on my dome light. I try to get all of this done before the cop gets to the window. I then place my hands on the steering wheel and wait for the cop to get there. I never pretend not to know why I was pulled over, they're not dumb. "Sir yes sir" etc. I get off with more warnings than I have a right to.



One time I was having way too much fun on my scoot. I came up behind a car a little fast, about 20 over the limit, and I was standing up on the bike, singing "Sponge Bob Square Pants". Well the car I came up on was a dark blue unmarked with dark tinted windows. Oh boy. Needless to say, the cop was a little intrigued as to my actions. Guess what....got off with a warning. He was very sarcastic and condesending, but I did not get hooked into a verbal confrontation. I think they look at me and expect to have a little fun. But I suprise them by being respectfull, they just can't help it.



I also have a secret weapon that makes them like me. Doughnut scented cologne.

God Bullet, you were PERFECTION right up to the cologne! :p

Bullet, that's one of my favorite stories, and you didn't tell the whole thing!!! Tell the rest, it's a friggin' riot!!

Bullet wrote: I always turn off the car, roll down both windows, get the proof of insurance and registration out of the glove box and leave the glove box open. Get my license and CCW out of my wallet. If it's dark out I turn on my dome light. I try to get all of this done before the cop gets to the window. I then place my hands on the steering wheel and wait for the cop to get there. I never pretend not to know why I was pulled over, they're not dumb. "Sir yes sir" etc. I get off with more warnings than I have a right to.



One time I was having way too much fun on my scoot. I came up behind a car a little fast, about 20 over the limit, and I was standing up on the bike, singing "Sponge Bob Square Pants". Well the car I came up on was a dark blue unmarked with dark tinted windows. Oh boy. Needless to say, the cop was a little intrigued as to my actions. Guess what....got off with a warning. He was very sarcastic and condesending, but I did not get hooked into a verbal confrontation. I think they look at me and expect to have a little fun. But I suprise them by being respectfull, they just can't help it.



I also have a secret weapon that makes them like me. Doughnut scented cologne.


What flavours does it come in?

lady cop wrote: God Bullet, you were PERFECTION right up to the cologne! :p
Oops.

BabyRider wrote: Bullet, that's one of my favorite stories, and you didn't tell the whole thing!!! Tell the rest, it's a friggin' riot!!Well when he walked up, he stated, in a rather irritated tone, "First aid kit, Shotgun, and a spare tire!!" Well I looked at him kinda confused like, mainly because I was. And he said "That's what is in my F***in trunk, I thought you must have been curious the way you rode up on my @ss like ya did!!" I just tightened up my butt cheeks and tried like hell not to laugh. Then he asked if I had been drinking. "Sir no sir" was my respectful reply, cheeks getting tighter, fingers crossed.



I'll be tellin my grandkids about that one.

kensloft wrote: What flavours does it come in?Powdered sugar, Boston Creme, Long John, and Peanut Crunch.

Bullet wrote: Powdered sugar, Boston Creme, Long John, and Peanut Crunch.I wouldn't touch that one for ANYTHING....

they ALL say it's powdered sugar in the baggie, they ALL say it's long,john, 'peanut' is usually more accurate, and creme is usually what they do involuntarily when i show them my taser....

lady cop wrote: they ALL say it's powdered sugar in the baggie, they ALL say it's long,john, 'peanut' is usually more accurate, and creme is usually what they do involuntarily when i show them my taser....:DDOH!!! Hey LC, can Baby Rider and I borrow your cuffs and taser? I've got Crispy Creme coupons.

Been there, I got some really kewl lead filled gloves.....for...um.. protecting my knuckles from.....uh .....people trying to beat up my fists with their face. We got some weird ones here in Detroit.:wah:

lady cop wrote: they ALL say it's powdered sugar in the baggie, they ALL say it's long,john, 'peanut' is usually more accurate, and creme is usually what they do involuntarily when i show them my taser....
That's p unless you are getting the locals of the s & m's finest.

"Can I turn the Aircon down"