ForumGarden

Bill stood over his tee shot on the 350 yard 18th hole for

what seemed an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked

down, waggled again, but didn't start his back swing.

Finally his exasperated partner Fred asked, "What in the

world is taking so long?"

"My wife is watching me from the clubhouse balcony," Jim

explained. "I want to make a perfect shot."

His partner Fred exclaimed. "You don't have a chance in

hell of hitting her from here."

And another good one Chez. :wah: :wah:Keep them coming.

I must have a try, I keep thinking I might be good at this.

An Englishman at an Indian's table in Surat saw a bottle of ale being opened, and all the beer, turned to froth, rushed out. The Indian, by repeated exclamations, showed his great amazement.

Well, what's so amazing in that? asked the Englishman.

Oh, I'm not amazed at its coming out, replied the Indian, but at how you managed to get it all in.

spot;995907 wrote: I must have a try, I keep thinking I might be good at this.

An Englishman at an Indian's table in Surat saw a bottle of ale being opened, and all the beer, turned to froth, rushed out. The Indian, by repeated exclamations, showed his great amazement.

Well, what's so amazing in that? asked the Englishman.

Oh, but I'm not amazed at its coming out, replied the Indian, but at how you managed to get it all in.


10 out of 10 for effort and originality:-4

Chezzie;995912 wrote: 10 out of 10 for effort and originality:-4


Well no, not really - it's from Immanuel Kant's "Critique of Judgement" written in 1790 (though he wrote it in German) in the section where he tries to analyse what humour consists of.This makes us laugh, and it gives us a hearty pleasure. This is not because, say, we think we are smarter than this ignorant man, nor are we laughing at anything else here that it is our liking and that we noticed through our understanding. It is rather that we had a tense expectation that suddenly vanished..."

spot;995919 wrote: Well no, not really - it's from Immanuel Kant's "Critique of Judgement" written in 1790 (though he wrote it in German) in the section where he tries to analyse what humour consists of.This makes us laugh, and it gives us a hearty pleasure. This is not because, say, we think we are smarter than this ignorant man, nor are we laughing at anything else here that it is our liking and that we noticed through our understanding. It is rather that we had a tense expectation that suddenly vanished..."


ahhhh right I see:-3

Chezzie;995921 wrote: ahhhh right I see:-3


Somehow I don't feel completely encouraged to continue.

spot;995941 wrote: Somehow I don't feel completely encouraged to continue.


id love you to Spot:-4

Chezzie;995944 wrote: id love you to Spot:-4


I'm practically in tears, few people have ever been so understanding.

Would it work better in the original, I wonder? We can take it a small bit at a time...

žEin Engländer am Tisch eines Inders in Surat sah eine Flasche Ale, (saw a bottle of ale) das geöffnet war (which was open), und das ganzes Bier, gedreht zum Schaum, hetzte heraus (hurled itself thereout). Der Inder, durch wiederholte Ausrufe, zeigte seine große Verwunderung (showed his huge amazement). - Gut, was überrascht so in dem (what's got up your nose)? fragte das Engländer. - Oh, aber ich werde nicht an seinem herauskommen überrascht, geantwortet dem Inder (answered the Indian), aber, wie Sie erreichten, es allen innen zu erhalten.“

spot;995947 wrote: I'm practically in tears, few people have ever been so understanding.

Would it work better in the original, I wonder? We can take it a small bit at a time...

žEin Engländer am Tisch eines Inders in Surat sah eine Flasche Ale, (saw a bottle of ale) das geöffnet war (which was open), und das ganzes Bier, gedreht zum Schaum, hetzte heraus (hurled itself thereout). Der Inder, durch wiederholte Ausrufe, zeigte seine große Verwunderung (showed his huge amazement). - Gut, was überrascht so in dem (what's got up your nose)? fragte das Engländer. - Oh, aber ich werde nicht an seinem herauskommen überrascht, geantwortet dem Inder (answered the Indian), aber, wie Sie erreichten, es allen innen zu erhalten.“




Thats what was lacking:wah:

Hysterical:D

Chezzie;995949 wrote: Thats what was lacking:wah:

Hysterical:D


My mind gets into a tight focus sometimes. It's not entirely normal.

You want an example?

I thought you did. Okay. I almost feel embarrassed at this, it's a bit geeky.

One of my fave movies is White Heat. James Cagney? You know the one? Starts with a train flying out of a tunnel in a hilly area and then diving into a second. All you see of the engine is around three seconds but the number's visible. 2440. How awful is it that I'm doing this from memory? Anyway, engine 2440 is a Southern Pacific P-5 4-6-2 built by Baldwin in 1912 for Edward Henry Harriman as part of a batch of 15 units which ended up being scrapped between 1947 and 1953.

Anyhow, when the train comes through the second tunnel it gets brought to a halt by Cagney's gang and shunted into a siding where the security car's door is blown off and the treasury bills stolen, and that's the beginning of the movie.

The two tunnels are about 12 miles north-west of Hollywood, they punch through into the Simi Valley and the siding starts just after the exit from the second of the two. I looked on Google Earth and found it. The junction used to be called Hasson until five years ago when it was renamed Davis after the Board Chairman and founder of Metrolink which now runs the track. When I visit California, that rail switch is what I want to go and see. I'm fairly sure all the P-5 locos were scrapped but the siding's still there.

spot;995951 wrote: My mind gets into a tight focus sometimes. It's not entirely normal.

You want an example?

I thought you did. Okay. I almost feel embarrassed at this, it's a bit geeky.

One of my fave movies is White Heat. James Cagney? You know the one? Starts with a train flying out of a tunnel in a hilly area and then diving into a second. All you see of the engine is around three seconds but the number's visible. 2440. How awful is it that I'm doing this from memory? Anyway, engine 2440 is a Southern Pacific P-5 4-6-2 built by Baldwin in 1912 for Edward Henry Harriman as part of a batch of 15 units which ended up being scrapped between 1947 and 1953.

Anyhow, when the train comes through the second tunnel it gets brought to a halt by Cagney's gang and shunted into a siding where the security car's door is blown off and the treasury bills stolen, and that's the beginning of the movie.

The two tunnels are about 12 miles north-west of Hollywood, they punch through into the Simi Valley and the siding starts just after the exit from the second of the two. I looked on Google Earth and found it. The junction used to be called Hasson until five years ago when it was renamed Davis after the Board Chairman and founder of Metrolink which now runs the track. When I visit California, that rail switch is what I want to go and see. I'm fairly sure all the P-5 locos were scrapped but the siding's still there.


Thats a mighty fine example of tight focussing, you quite adept at it:p

Chezzie;995958 wrote: Thats a mighty fine example of tight focussing, you quite adept at it:p


You're not just humouring me are you? You really think I'm still all there? It's not often a chap like me gets this much acceptance.

spot;995965 wrote: You're not just humouring me are you? You really think I'm still all there? It's not often a chap like me gets this much acceptance.


Spot, I think your humour often gets ignored which is a shame cos your quite hilarious at times...Now is one of those times, my hubby has been laughing his head off too:D.

Chezzie;995862 wrote: Bill stood over his tee shot on the 350 yard 18th hole for

what seemed an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked

down, waggled again, but didn't start his back swing.

Finally his exasperated partner Fred asked, "What in the

world is taking so long?"

"My wife is watching me from the clubhouse balcony," Jim

explained. "I want to make a perfect shot."

His partner Fred exclaimed. "You don't have a chance in

hell of hitting her from here."


:yh_rotfl

Chezzie;995968 wrote: Now is one of those times, my hubby has been laughing his head off too:D.I have a dreadful suspicion that it's only comical if the stuff about the train was made up...

spot;995981 wrote: I have a dreadful suspicion that it's only comical if the stuff about the train was made up...


It was the Immanuel Kant's "Critique of Judgement that we were laughing at especially the foreign version...