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Tailored Opinions

Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 5:42 am
by Chezzie
The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.

The bad news is that it will require castration.

You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.

The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit.' He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.'

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see...size 44 long.'

Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit; it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'

Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'

The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'

Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'

' Been in the business 60 years.'

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'

Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'

The salesman said, 'Let's see...size 36.'

Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'

The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'

New suit - $400

New shirt - $36

New underwear - $6

Second opinion - PRICELESS

Tailored Opinions

Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 5:45 am
by Mustang
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Good one Chezzie!

Tailored Opinions

Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:08 am
by FUBAR
Joes' cousin Bob went to the same doctor as his testicles had turned blue and purple with bright red veins. After the examination Bob was told the only cure was removal of his testicles. Walking home considering his options Bob saw a Chinese herbalist store and on an impulse walked in for an examination. After the exam the herbalist informed Bob that if he took some green pills the problem would sort itself out. Amazed Bob said that his doctor had said the only cure was to have them removed by surgery. The herbalist scoffed at this and said...'Western doctors always cutting things off or out, take pills and they fall off by themselves in two weeks'..............:-2

Tailored Opinions

Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:23 am
by Cow Patty
:yh_rotfl

Tailored Opinions

Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 9:17 am
by G-man
:wah::wah: