My Sister

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 9:45 am

sending you lots of love and best wishes!! :-4 :yh_hugs

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 10:05 am

Nomie I miss your post I hope it went well for everyone involved it is the right thing to do. Your sister may not think so, but it is.

911 · Post by **911** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:27 pm

What's second most important is that everyone sticks to the 'or else' end of it.

What's most important right now is you and your sobriety.

I wish you the best of luck and the eloquence of speech to reach her.

:yh_hugs:yh_love

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 4:59 pm

Thank you thank you and thank you !

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 5:54 am

Today is the day.

We had a meeting last night with the family minus my sister. The girls (her daughters) drove in from college. They were fiercely defensive of their mom. Initially they thought we were doing something to her rather than for her but they came around. I love them both so much.

Lots of tears were flowing here last night and that was just what the Dr. ordered.

It was healing for everyone. Ive never felt closer to my brother in laws side of the family.

My brother and father and myself were reunited and I hope that can continue.

Were all meeting up at a coffee shop this morning then heading over to Lisas house to drop a sledgehammer on her addiction and hopefully she will be off to treatment for 28 days.

pinkchick · Post by **pinkchick** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 6:02 am

Nomad;796866 wrote: Today is the day.

We had a meeting last night with the family minus my sister. The girls (her daughters) drove in from college. They were fiercely defensive of their mom. Initially they thought we were doing something to her rather than for her but they came around. I love them both so much.

Lots of tears were flowing here last night and that was just what the Dr. ordered.

It was healing for everyone. Ive never felt closer to my brother in laws side of the family.

My brother and father and myself were reunited and I hope that can continue.

Were all meeting up at a coffee shop this morning then heading over to Lisas house to drop a sledgehammer on her addiction and hopefully she will be off to treatment for 28 days.

Brian I'm thinking of you all today :-4:-4

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 6:13 am

Sending :-4 , lots of :yh_hugs and prayers for you Brian.

Good luck hun!

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 8:16 am

Congratulations on the first huge successes. Good luck on the next one. Fingers crossed for ya!

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 8:19 am

I'll be thinking of you today. Let us know how it goes. I wish you all luck. :-4

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 10:55 am

It didnt go so well.

We all met, drove to her house and walked in.

She was in the living room in her pajamas and as soon as she realized what was going on she went upstairs and got dressed and said she was leaving.

Her daughters were sobbing while we waited fo her to come down. When she did the interventionist followed her out to the garage with a couple of Tonys sisters. We could hear her screaming that she wanted myself my brother my wife and dad and his wife out of the house.

The interventionist said in 20 years hes never asked anyone to leave but he wanted the 5 of us out of the house because the issues within our family were more than he could conquer right now.

So we left.

The rest of Tonys family were allowed to stay. I dont know if shes going or not right now.

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 10:58 am

awww Sorry it didnt go well Nomad, fingers crossed some good came out of it though. Thinking of you..:-6

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 11:22 am

Nomad;797083 wrote: It didnt go so well.

We all met, drove to her house and walked in.

She was in the living room in her pajamas and as soon as she realized what was going on she went upstairs and got dressed and said she was leaving.

Her daughters were sobbing while we waited fo her to come down. When she did the interventionist followed her out to the garage with a couple of Tonys sisters. We could hear her screaming that she wanted myself my brother my wife and dad and his wife out of the house.

The interventionist said in 20 years hes never asked anyone to leave but he wanted the 5 of us out of the house because the issues within our family were more than he could conquer right now.

So we left.

The rest of Tonys family were allowed to stay. I dont know if shes going or not right now.
It's not over. Don't let it be over.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 11:33 am

Nomad, :-4sending hugs and love to you and yours!!:-4:-4

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 11:36 am

Nomad like ACC said its not over. She now knows that every member of both sides of the family know she needs help, her kids, husband, dad, mom, you everyone knows. Hopefully there will be a good outcome soon. :-4 :yh_hugs

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 12:00 pm

Im sending you and your family love and strength:-4:-4

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 12:59 pm

My brother in law called and she went. Shes still in total denial even after they rounded all the meds she had stashed. Dozens of different types of painkillers. She said she will go for an assessmnt to prove everyone wrong but they will see right through her. Theyre pros and they have handled the worst of the worst.

Although the interventionist said hes never encountered anyone like her before.

(((EXHALE)))

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 1:01 pm

Nomad;797174 wrote: My brother in law called and she went. Shes still in total denial even after they rounded all the meds she had stashed. dozens of different types of painkillers. She said she will go for an assessmnt to prove everyone wrong but they will see right through her. Theyre pros and they have handled the worst of the worst.

Although the interventionist said hes never encountered anyone like her before.

(((EXHALE)))

Aw Nomie.. well thats a good start,,, hope it goes well.. you are doing the best you can possibly do and she will see its out of love for her eventually:yh_hugs

911 · Post by **911** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 1:21 pm

I wish you and yours all the best.

You've done all you can and you should congratulate yourself for having the guts to get involved. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her and hopefully she will see herself in some of the people at the clinic.

Never give up on her no matter what she says, and she will say a lot. She will try to bring you down with her if only to make herself feel justified in what she is doing.

You're the strong one. There is nothing she can say that can alter your sobriety.

Kisses!

pinkchick · Post by **pinkchick** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 2:02 pm

Nomad;797174 wrote: My brother in law called and she went. Shes still in total denial even after they rounded all the meds she had stashed. Dozens of different types of painkillers. She said she will go for an assessmnt to prove everyone wrong but they will see right through her. Theyre pros and they have handled the worst of the worst.

Although the interventionist said hes never encountered anyone like her before.

(((EXHALE)))

:yh_hugs:yh_hugs

I am so pleased to hear that she went. It's a new beginning for her. All of you are in my thoughts. Stay strong my dear friend :-4

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 7:19 pm

Hope it all goes well Nomad...we're all pulling for you sister to get well:-4

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 8:49 am

Brian,

I've just read this thread . . . you know I love you (even before you sent me the fabulous bookmarks

).

I always watch a show on A&E called "Intervention" -- it is exactly like you experienced.

Sending strength and warm affection your way :-4

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 10:44 am

Thanks Cher (just crawling out from under your rock after the Superbowl ? :sneaky:) and everyone.

Its been an exciting weekend. :rolleyes:

My sis went to the treatment center but all she did was give blood to prove she wasnt on anything. She didnt get an assessment as planned. She apparently went to get ammunition or to end the intervention which lasted for 5 hrs.

She called her friend who shares the same backyard with my sister and is my brothers ex wife (whom he hates) and she picked her up and drove her home.

I started getting phone calls about 10 pm and it didnt stop until 3 am which is when my sister was handcuffed and taken to jail for assualting her daughter.

She had barricaded herself in the bedroom with her youngest child and they were trying to seperate them when Lisa attacked her.

Meanwhile the 2 boys were crying and afraid while mom was taken away.

I went to Lisas friends house this morning to inform her about what a great friend she was for picking Lisa up. Tonys (Lisas husband) mom wrote a check for $13,000 yesterday because insurance only covered half the amount of treatment, I forgot to tell her that as she was telling me my sister didnt have a problem.

I asked her in my military officer voice that shed better not bail her out or let her stay there.

Apparently she thought she was a hero for rescuing Lisa. SFW !

My hope is that a weekend in jail for assaulting her daughter is enough to bottom her delusions about her self out.

If not we have no doubt death is the only alternative for her.

Tony can get a restraining order on her which leaves her nowhere to park herself or with background information Monday morning perhaps a judge will see fit to mandate treatment. Thats kind of a shame because it would be in a hospital setting as opposed to Hazelden where they have an open door policy and wont force treatment on her.

She was lucky to have a bed there but she mucked that up.

So thats rounds 1, 2 and 3. Time will tell if she can go the distance.

I know I can.

It helps to unload here. Thanks for putting up with me.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 11:36 am

Nomad;797889 wrote: It helps to unload here. Thanks for putting up with me.
Anytime, friend.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 11:41 am

1 step forward 2 steps back just have to keep trying Nomie we are here for you. :yh_hugs

If its not to personal what were the results of her blood work?? I will understand if you tell me its none of my damn business.

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 11:42 am

Accountable;797966 wrote: Anytime, friend.

Ditto:D:-4

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 11:50 am

CARLA;797967 wrote: 1 step forward 2 steps back just have to keep trying Nomie we are here for you. :yh_hugs

If its not to personal what were the results of her blood work?? I will understand if you tell me its none of my damn business.

HOW DARE YOU !;)

Who knows.

Thats not something they would share with us.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 11:58 am

I didn't think so. Thought since she is so out of control they might share it with the family members for their own safety.

I'm praying big time for her Nomie and all your family. :-4

[QUOTE]HOW DARE YOU !

Who knows.

Thats not something they would share with us.[/QUOTE]

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 12:36 pm

Nomad;797889 wrote: Thanks Cher (just crawling out from under your rock after the Superbowl ? :sneaky:)

I'll give that one a 9

Nomad;797889 wrote: It helps to unload here. Thanks for putting up with me.

Putting up with you is one of my favorite things :p

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 1:42 pm

All I can say is WoW!! What a tough time you and your family are going through, all for love for her! I hope that something good comes of this and not the ultimate result that you are concerned about!

I'm praying for you and your family Brian!:-4:-4:-4

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 4:21 pm

Wow I never knew that so much had been going on in your families life Nomad I am really sorry to hear about all of this.

As everyone says you all have to keep staying strong and day by day believe that the right positive outcome will happen! I truly wish you and all your family the very best through these difficult times! :-4 :-6

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 4:28 pm

Praying for you all, you can always unload here with us, Nomad.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 2:54 pm

I might as well continue the saga since Ive come this far with it.

Went to court yesterday to speak to the prosecutor before Lisas bail hearing.

My intent was to inform him of all the events of the weekend. My hope was he would be able to convince the judge to order her back to the treatment facility.

The prosecutor did give the judge some background information but the judge was unable to address anything but the present charge of domestic violence.

He could address this at the next hearing though.

Lisa told the judge Hazelden informed her that this wasnt the right place for her because she didnt have a problem.

No way in hell that happened.

There were 2 restraining orders placed on her, one for her daughter and one for her house, she cant go home for 14 days. She was released on her own recognizance.

I heard through the grapevine today Hazelden contacted her and asked her to come back for an assessment which I believe is a week, and she agreed.

I dont know if shes there because of course they cant release information.

One of two things could be happening, she agreed to go because shes got nowhere else to go and doesnt have any money or something clicked in her and she might be softening. If they get her for a week I hope they can reach her, get her to realize she needs help. If thats the case my prayers have been answered.

This is the hardest thing Ive ever had to do and the risks are enormous.

I love Lisa and we all want her back.

We need prayer.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 3:16 pm

:yh_hugs and :yh_pray being sent :-4

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 3:25 pm

We need prayer.

You got it. :-4

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 3:53 pm

Nomad;800178 wrote: I might as well continue the saga since Ive come this far with it.

Went to court yesterday to speak to the prosecutor before Lisas bail hearing.

My intent was to inform him of all the events of the weekend. My hope was he would be able to convince the judge to order her back to the treatment facility.

The prosecutor did give the judge some background information but the judge was unable to address anything but the present charge of domestic violence.

He could address this at the next hearing though.

Lisa told the judge Hazelden informed her that this wasnt the right place for her because she didnt have a problem.

No way in hell that happened.

There were 2 restraining orders placed on her, one for her daughter and one for her house, she cant go home for 14 days. She was released on her own recognizance.

I heard through the grapevine today Hazelden contacted her and asked her to come back for an assessment which I believe is a week, and she agreed.

I dont know if shes there because of course they cant release information.

One of two things could be happening, she agreed to go because shes got nowhere else to go and doesnt have any money or something clicked in her and she might be softening. If they get her for a week I hope they can reach her, get her to realize she needs help. If thats the case my prayers have been answered.

This is the hardest thing Ive ever had to do and the risks are enormous.

I love Lisa and we all want her back.

We need prayer.

You got it - doubled and re-doubled in Spades!

May your Sister receive the blessing you wish upon her :-4

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 3:58 pm

Ahhhh Nomad:-4,

Please keep rekindling this thread about your sister, Lisa:-4 You know that we care and will be here to lisen to your thoughts:-6

moonpie · Post by **moonpie** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 6:51 pm

Good luck Nomad, your sister is a lucky person to have you.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 7:03 pm

Nomie I'm praying, and praying, and praying. :yh_hugs:yh_pray:yh_pray:yh_hugs

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 7:15 pm

Nomad;800178 wrote: This is the hardest thing Ive ever had to do and the risks are enormous.The rewards will be enormouser. When ya'll come out the other end of this thing, give her a big hug of welcome into the FG family, will ya?

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:54 pm

Prayers being sent up for you and your family!!:-4:-4:-4

chocoholic · Post by **chocoholic** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 3:12 am

Nomad;800178 wrote:

We need prayer.

Nomad, never had a brother but if I did I would hope that he was half as compassionate and caring as you are being, you and you family are in my thoughts and prayers:-4

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 6:19 am

Nomad, I will keep you and your family in my prayers and I wish your sister luck with her problem. Hopefully, she will see the light. And you need to stay strong and just give her the encouragement she is going to need to beat this addiction.

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 8:28 am

:-4:-4:-4

pinkchick · Post by **pinkchick** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 9:17 am

Accountable;800226 wrote: The rewards will be enormouser. When ya'll come out the other end of this thing, give her a big hug of welcome into the FG family, will ya?

I agree with Accountable. Brian we are all 100% behind you bud

All of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sending you lots of love :-4:-4

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Mar 13, 2008 5:48 pm

Ive finally talked to my sister and shes telling me everyone thinks shes fine. She said the treatment center poo pooed us and sent her on her way. Shes good, very convincing. Ive been so confused. I called Hazelden and presented this scenario without using her name and the counselor told me there is no way on Earth they would dismiss a patient that quickly and without a thorough and comprehensive work up on everything from mental health to the process of uncovering addiction. A-Z

Shes really really good at bamboozling people. I cant talk to her anymore. I probably shouldnt have in the 1st place.

One of my nieces is falling apart. I wrote this to her but Im so fragmented I dont know whats right anymore.

Its completely understandable that you would be feeling like this. Very

normal. There's no horizon right at the moment. No definite end and

everything seems up in the air. I just got off the phone with Lisa and she

said she's actively seeking help. She said she's seeing a mental health

clinic on Monday and another chemical dependency facility on Tuesday. I'm

inclined to go with her for these appointments.

Right now I think the most important thing is for you to just realize ok its

messy right now but it wont stay that way forever. Its really hard to be

patient and ride these things out when we have no control over them. Nothing

ever stays the same though. Life moves.

You will have other troubles in your life as it moves forward. People will

die. People will come and go. People wont do what you need them or expect

them to do. Some people will fail you. Its inevitable. The thing is Sam as

you travel each of these things will teach you something and give you wisdom

and strength. They're lessons that will teach you how to feel or act or what

to think as the next challenge comes. Its what makes us stretch and grow.

All of us have to go through it in one way or the other.

Some people fall apart and don't make it but most of us do. Depend on what

it is that gives you strength and talk to the people you trust and fall back

on your family. Get closer with Steph. Visit more often, stay connected to

your brothers. Do. Do things that divert your attention. Read, its spring

soon, go outside. Come here Ill give you a motorcycle ride through the

country side out here.

Rely on your own sense of self, you're doing wonderful, your in college,

you've done good things all your life. You make people love you because your

wonderful to be around.

This is temporary, it will pass.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Thu Mar 13, 2008 5:57 pm

Nomie beautifully said your doing everything right. Your Niece's and Nephews need your strength now and I bet this note will help her tremendously. I hope she takes every work to heart and show up at your door real soon for the Motorcycle ride in the hills. They need to step away from this for a bit and enjoy life.

Your Sister will play the game till there is not game to play anymore, and only then will she hit rock bottom and hopefully get help.

You need to step away for a bit as well and not think about this for a few days it will do wonders for you. :yh_hugs:yh_hugs

[QUOTE]

One of my nieces is falling apart. I wrote this to her but Im so fragmented I dont know whats right anymore.

Its completely understandable that you would be feeling like this. Very

normal. There's no horizon right at the moment. No definite end and

everything seems up in the air. I just got off the phone with Lisa and she

said she's actively seeking help. She said she's seeing a mental health

clinic on Monday and another chemical dependency facility on Tuesday. I'm

inclined to go with her for these appointments.

Right now I think the most important thing is for you to just realize ok its

messy right now but it wont stay that way forever. Its really hard to be

patient and ride these things out when we have no control over them. Nothing

ever stays the same though. Life moves.

You will have other troubles in your life as it moves forward. People will

die. People will come and go. People wont do what you need them or expect

them to do. Some people will fail you. Its inevitable. The thing is Sam as

you travel each of these things will teach you something and give you wisdom

and strength. They're lessons that will teach you how to feel or act or what

to think as the next challenge comes. Its what makes us stretch and grow.

All of us have to go through it in one way or the other.

Some people fall apart and don't make it but most of us do. Depend on what

it is that gives you strength and talk to the people you trust and fall back

on your family. Get closer with Steph. Visit more often, stay connected to

your brothers. Do. Do things that divert your attention. Read, its spring

soon, go outside. Come here Ill give you a motorcycle ride through the

country side out here.

Rely on your own sense of self, you're doing wonderful, your in college,

you've done good things all your life. You make people love you because your

wonderful to be around.

This is temporary, it will pass.[/QUOTE]

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Thu Mar 13, 2008 6:24 pm

This thread cuts right through me, not being able to just come right over.