My nomination for President
Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 3:02 pm
I'm tired of the candidates we have already. The Democrats are all style and little substance, while the Republicans are full of chameleons trying to blend in to whatever situation suits them best. We need a man who actually stands for something. That's why I am beginning the Draft Batman for President movement.
Where does Batman stand on the issues? Well, lets find out, shall we?
On Crime: No man has done more for Crime in the United States than Batman. Sure, Superman can say he is tough on crime, but he frequently lets the bad guys go. Not Batman. Villains leave Batman in a police car or a box. There is no option C. And Batman will bring that same kind of attitude to the Presidency.
On Choice: Batman is pro-choice. And by choice, I mean Batman respects the choice he has whether or not to kick you ass for no reason. Why does he have this choice? He's Batman, you idiot!
On the Environment: As long as it isn't working with Poison Ivy this time, Batman will allow it to exist... for now.
On Gun Control: Batman supports Gun Control. In fact, he's promised that every man, woman, and child in America will control a grappling gun when he is President.
On Immigration: Batman will improt thousands of Ninjas from Japan to create the "Department of Kicking Ass", headed by Secretary Chuck Norris. Then, you won't have to worry about people trying to come into this country illegally anymore; they'l be too scared of the ninjas trained by Chuck Norris.
On The Economy: What does Batman care? He's rich, fool! Yesterday, he bought Bill Gates. Not Microsoft, but the actual Bill Gates! Batman says that we can do whatever the heck we want with our own money, he's going to think of creative new ways to spend all of his billions upon billions of dollars.
On Civil Rights: You have the right to act civil. Otherwise, the Dark Knight of Gotham is coming for you.
On the War in Iraq: Batman doesn't understand why you don't just send Chuck Norris, a reanimated John Wayne, and him into the middle of the battle and just let them take care of it.
On Osama Bin Laden: Why is a six-foot six Arab on dialysis so hard to find? Batman says that he's had enough experience tracking down villains to not only find Osama within one month, but Batman believes in real justice...and capitalism. He'll bring Osama back to New York City, and for ten bucks you can walk into a room and beat the crap out of him.
Attached files
Where does Batman stand on the issues? Well, lets find out, shall we?
On Crime: No man has done more for Crime in the United States than Batman. Sure, Superman can say he is tough on crime, but he frequently lets the bad guys go. Not Batman. Villains leave Batman in a police car or a box. There is no option C. And Batman will bring that same kind of attitude to the Presidency.
On Choice: Batman is pro-choice. And by choice, I mean Batman respects the choice he has whether or not to kick you ass for no reason. Why does he have this choice? He's Batman, you idiot!
On the Environment: As long as it isn't working with Poison Ivy this time, Batman will allow it to exist... for now.
On Gun Control: Batman supports Gun Control. In fact, he's promised that every man, woman, and child in America will control a grappling gun when he is President.
On Immigration: Batman will improt thousands of Ninjas from Japan to create the "Department of Kicking Ass", headed by Secretary Chuck Norris. Then, you won't have to worry about people trying to come into this country illegally anymore; they'l be too scared of the ninjas trained by Chuck Norris.
On The Economy: What does Batman care? He's rich, fool! Yesterday, he bought Bill Gates. Not Microsoft, but the actual Bill Gates! Batman says that we can do whatever the heck we want with our own money, he's going to think of creative new ways to spend all of his billions upon billions of dollars.
On Civil Rights: You have the right to act civil. Otherwise, the Dark Knight of Gotham is coming for you.
On the War in Iraq: Batman doesn't understand why you don't just send Chuck Norris, a reanimated John Wayne, and him into the middle of the battle and just let them take care of it.
On Osama Bin Laden: Why is a six-foot six Arab on dialysis so hard to find? Batman says that he's had enough experience tracking down villains to not only find Osama within one month, but Batman believes in real justice...and capitalism. He'll bring Osama back to New York City, and for ten bucks you can walk into a room and beat the crap out of him.
Attached files
