To all the dog moms out there:
Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 2:50 pm
It's apparent you're a parent (of a furkid) when:
- A trip to "the store" really means a trip to Petsmart to pick up shampoo and poo bags.
- You spell words such as walk, bath, vet, and car ride.
- You give up spelling the aforementioned because THEY learned how to spell.
- That same trip to "the store" involves all of the children going along. The eldest gets first choice of crates in the back of the van. There is generally no room for children of the hairless variety.
- You shop for a new vehicle, you are not taking into consideration your own comfort, but instead you are considering how much crate space the kids will have in the back
- You spend $50 on dog food and then eat Top Ramen for a week and a half to make up for it.
- You run and grab the video camera so you can forever remember the very first time your very first dog saw himself in a mirror.
- You speak to the four leggers as if they are your two leggers with such phrases as, "If you don't stop that right now, I'll put you in time out!!"
- You follow the former threat with a "Stern look"....and then proceed to kiss the baby on the head
- Going for a walk is never just "going for a walk". It is also a social gala, in which you meet and investigate all the flora and fauna of the neighborhood.
- You ask if anybody would like a cookie, and the skin kids are disappointed when they realize you're not talking to them.
- You've washed your clothing with treats in the pockets....on more than one occasion.
- You find yourself without a cookie in your pocket and you are not only shocked, but completely distraught.
- You're more offended when people don't remember the names of your furkids than when they don't remember yours.
- You're standing in a massive snowbank at 3 in the morning in your bathrobe begging your kid to pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease go potty.
- You are actually referred to as "So and so's mother" (or father). You have no identity anymore. You're a furparent.
- A quick trip to the pet store is never a quick trip to the pet store. Seriously, just quit lying to yourself. Everybody knows it'll be at least an hour and a half.
- You have more monogrammed stockings hanging on your hearth than there are people in the family
- You do not believe in Santa Claus. You believe in Santa Claws.
- When you tell people you are expecting, they know that they should no longer inquire as to whether or not you are pregnant. They expect to see another furball roaming the house in about two months.
- You not only buy presents for the furry kidlets, but you wrap them too. ....And you let them open them.
- You believe that a bloody piece of animal carcass would be "Absolutely perfect!" for so and so.
- You go through your first puppy class graduation...and cry
- You look on your floor or at the foot of your bed, and realize you hold just as much pride in your accomplishments with your four leggers as you do your two leggers.
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Aren't those great?
The author's name is Jackie Short.
- A trip to "the store" really means a trip to Petsmart to pick up shampoo and poo bags.
- You spell words such as walk, bath, vet, and car ride.
- You give up spelling the aforementioned because THEY learned how to spell.
- That same trip to "the store" involves all of the children going along. The eldest gets first choice of crates in the back of the van. There is generally no room for children of the hairless variety.
- You shop for a new vehicle, you are not taking into consideration your own comfort, but instead you are considering how much crate space the kids will have in the back
- You spend $50 on dog food and then eat Top Ramen for a week and a half to make up for it.
- You run and grab the video camera so you can forever remember the very first time your very first dog saw himself in a mirror.
- You speak to the four leggers as if they are your two leggers with such phrases as, "If you don't stop that right now, I'll put you in time out!!"
- You follow the former threat with a "Stern look"....and then proceed to kiss the baby on the head
- Going for a walk is never just "going for a walk". It is also a social gala, in which you meet and investigate all the flora and fauna of the neighborhood.
- You ask if anybody would like a cookie, and the skin kids are disappointed when they realize you're not talking to them.
- You've washed your clothing with treats in the pockets....on more than one occasion.
- You find yourself without a cookie in your pocket and you are not only shocked, but completely distraught.
- You're more offended when people don't remember the names of your furkids than when they don't remember yours.
- You're standing in a massive snowbank at 3 in the morning in your bathrobe begging your kid to pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease go potty.
- You are actually referred to as "So and so's mother" (or father). You have no identity anymore. You're a furparent.
- A quick trip to the pet store is never a quick trip to the pet store. Seriously, just quit lying to yourself. Everybody knows it'll be at least an hour and a half.
- You have more monogrammed stockings hanging on your hearth than there are people in the family
- You do not believe in Santa Claus. You believe in Santa Claws.
- When you tell people you are expecting, they know that they should no longer inquire as to whether or not you are pregnant. They expect to see another furball roaming the house in about two months.
- You not only buy presents for the furry kidlets, but you wrap them too. ....And you let them open them.
- You believe that a bloody piece of animal carcass would be "Absolutely perfect!" for so and so.
- You go through your first puppy class graduation...and cry
- You look on your floor or at the foot of your bed, and realize you hold just as much pride in your accomplishments with your four leggers as you do your two leggers.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Aren't those great?
The author's name is Jackie Short.