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Jimmy received a parrot for Christmas. The parrot was fully grown...with a very bad attitude and even worse vocabulary.

Every other word was an expletive...those that weren't expletives were...to say the least...rude. Jimmy tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words...playing soft music...anything that he could think of. Nothing worked.

He yelled at the bird...and the bird got worse. He shook the bird...and the bird got even more rude. Finally...in a moment of desperation...Jimmy put the parrot in the freezer.

For a few moments he heard the bird swearing...squawking... kicking and screaming. Then...suddenly...there was absolute quiet. Jimmy was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird...and quickly opened the freezer door.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto Jimmy's extended arm and said..."I'm terribly sorry that I offended you with my abominable language and my intolerable actions...and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavour to correct my behaviour FORTHWITH!"

Jimmy was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him...when the parrot continued..."May I ask what the Chicken did?

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl



Another Parrot Joke:



A man inherits a Female Parrot (Ruby) from his dead brother's Brothal.



All day long the Parrot kept saying, "Hey Sailor wanna get laid"? "Hey Sailor wanna get laid"?



Morning, Noon, & Night, that's all the Parrot kept saying, no matter what or how the man tried to get it to say something else.



It got to the point where the Ruby became embarrasing for the man when he had company over.



So the man thought he would take Ruby to his Church Pastor to see if he could offer suggestions on how to cure the problem.



The Pastor said to the man, I have just the thing to help your Parrot! There are two Male Parrots in the other room named Peter & Paul, that just pray the rosary all day long, every day. We'll put your Female Parrot in with the two praying Male Parrots, & surely their constant praying will rub off on her!



So they put Ruby in the cage, & as they are leaving the room, sure enough Ruby says: Hey Sailor wanna get laid? Hey Sailor wanna get laid?



Then Peter & Paul look at each other, & Paul says, Hey drop your beads Pete, OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!! :p

Cheap Parrot

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00, which seemed awfully cheap.

"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her seriously and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then found it kind of amusing.

When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them enter and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said, "Hi, Bob!"