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how to shower like...

Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 11:44 am
by Chezzie
How to shower like a woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at the womanly physique in the mirror – make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.



How to shower like a man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see the wife along the way, shake willy at her making the ‘woo-woo’ sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a shampoo Mohawk.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of the shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make ‘woo-woo’ sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

I KNOW YOUR LAUGHING CAUSE MOST OF ITS TRUE !!!!!

how to shower like...

Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 12:28 pm
by AussiePam
Geesch. I was just about to take a shower when I got diverted in here to read the morning's chat.. took off my clothes and left them in a heap on the floor, have no gown, am not going to wash my hair, shave anything at all or use any fruit or nut flavoured products - non perfumed oatmeal wash only. Water restrictions have curbed the length of my shower singing, but something loud and raucous (ladies do not pass wind!) will occur, with the possible addition of a morning dance. If I see any naked men on my way outta this little ritual and they wave well scrubbed woowoos ... well who knows... I just might wiggle a few things right back.. I'm a girl, well yeahhh an Aussie girl.. does this mean I'm unnatural????

:sneaky:

how to shower like...

Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 12:29 pm
by AussiePam
OOOf JJ, don't think I wanna take a shower with you... or heck, why not???

:-4