Oldest known coffee shop found?
Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 2:31 pm
Archaeologists Find Coffee Shop
A team of archaeologists from the University of Charlton Mires, have unearthed the remains of what may yet prove to be the site of one of the most ancient coffee shops ever discovered. Due to it's location, which is claimed to lie at the inter- section of several prominent ley lines, the site in woods near Denwick bridge, has been a focus for all manner of social activity throughout known history. A team of fourteen scientists led by Dr Evelyn Sponge had been excavating the site in search of the fossilized remains of the now extinct Northumbrian Carnivorous Blue Wasp when the discovery was made, "At first I didn't believe it myself " Dr Sponge told us, "But after careful analysis back at the lab we're convinced that what we have here is a perfect example of a very well preserved Neolithic coffee shop". Some of the more valuable artefacts removed from the site include a short wooden pipe which still contains cannabis residues and a small metal tin with a leaf design in green enamels on the lid. Most of the finds are believed to be at least 4500 - 6000 years old, which would mean that Northumbrians were using recreational drugs way before any other civilized society. "Getting stoned was a way of life to these people, while the Egyptians and other so called 'advanced' races were experimenting with alcohol, the Northumbrians were getting completely battered". Sceptics have expressed concerns over Dr Sponge's claims which one expert called "bloody ridiculous" after a similar incident in 1997 when Dr Sponge's controversial 'Carbolic dating' technique was denounced by several prominent physicists. Dr Sponge lost the grant money awarded to the university to buy a carbon dating machine somewhere between the Dirty Bottles and Oscars on a Friday night in June 1995, and in a bid to make amends developed her own cut price dating method. Employing a mixture of soap, broccoli juice and an enzyme extracted from concentrated eighty bob, the Carbolic dating technique, although very cost effective, is according to Professor Kanga Symposium, the director of FIST, (the Felton Institute of Science and Technology), to be "at best seriously flawed". :wah:
A team of archaeologists from the University of Charlton Mires, have unearthed the remains of what may yet prove to be the site of one of the most ancient coffee shops ever discovered. Due to it's location, which is claimed to lie at the inter- section of several prominent ley lines, the site in woods near Denwick bridge, has been a focus for all manner of social activity throughout known history. A team of fourteen scientists led by Dr Evelyn Sponge had been excavating the site in search of the fossilized remains of the now extinct Northumbrian Carnivorous Blue Wasp when the discovery was made, "At first I didn't believe it myself " Dr Sponge told us, "But after careful analysis back at the lab we're convinced that what we have here is a perfect example of a very well preserved Neolithic coffee shop". Some of the more valuable artefacts removed from the site include a short wooden pipe which still contains cannabis residues and a small metal tin with a leaf design in green enamels on the lid. Most of the finds are believed to be at least 4500 - 6000 years old, which would mean that Northumbrians were using recreational drugs way before any other civilized society. "Getting stoned was a way of life to these people, while the Egyptians and other so called 'advanced' races were experimenting with alcohol, the Northumbrians were getting completely battered". Sceptics have expressed concerns over Dr Sponge's claims which one expert called "bloody ridiculous" after a similar incident in 1997 when Dr Sponge's controversial 'Carbolic dating' technique was denounced by several prominent physicists. Dr Sponge lost the grant money awarded to the university to buy a carbon dating machine somewhere between the Dirty Bottles and Oscars on a Friday night in June 1995, and in a bid to make amends developed her own cut price dating method. Employing a mixture of soap, broccoli juice and an enzyme extracted from concentrated eighty bob, the Carbolic dating technique, although very cost effective, is according to Professor Kanga Symposium, the director of FIST, (the Felton Institute of Science and Technology), to be "at best seriously flawed". :wah: