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How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.



How To Shower Like A Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo'sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohican

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.



I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!!!

OMG sometimes the truth is funnier than fiction :wah:

kinks;709730 wrote: How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.



How To Shower Like A Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo'sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohican

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.



I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!!!


:wah::wah: also saying 'How's about it then'

They also forgot about clipping toe nails and then leaving clipping ALL OVER floor.

Thats funny Kinks, and very true

Glad you liked it chicks, i couldn't stop laughing :wah:

ThePheasant;709740 wrote: also saying 'How's about it then'




they're sooo romantic, aren't they?? :rolleyes: :wah:

the shower thing is hilarious!

I saw this years ago and it is SO true!! I love it...worth reading over and over!!

That described my ex 100%, right down to the shaking willy in the mirror!



:wah::wah::wah:

WonderWendy3;709781 wrote: I saw this years ago and it is SO true!! I love it...worth reading over and over!!

That described my ex 100%, right down to the shaking willy in the mirror!



:wah:


I notice the men are VERY quiet on this subject - no denying it there then :wah:

Whats with the shaking 'it' in the mirror? Is there some kind of meaning to this masculine ritual? :-3 :wah:

I don't see any problems with this..

I don't shake it anytime unless I plan to keep on shaking it until finished. That makes the shower take far too long. I mean add an extra three minutes to the total shower time and I'll be late for something.



:-2

ladies

Attached files

I'm not sure what point's being made here, it seems an accurate description.

KB.;709812 wrote: I don't shake it anytime unless I plan to keep on shaking it until finished. That makes the shower take far too long. I mean add an extra three minutes to the total shower time and I'll be late for something.



:-2


Three minutes?....my goodness...:wah:

spot;709835 wrote: I'm not sure what point's being made here, it seems an accurate description.


I can hear you saying "woo woo" as we speak...............:wah::wah:

WonderWendy3;709853 wrote: I can hear you saying "woo woo" as we speak...............:wah::wah:
Nah he wouldn't actually say it he would just supply a link to it.:wah:

WonderWendy3;709853 wrote: I can hear you saying "woo woo" as we speak...............:wah::wah:


If it wasn't so awe-inspiring I'd not be doing it, now would I.

WonderWendy3;709853 wrote: I can hear you saying "woo woo" as we speak...............:wah::wah:


as ya said

Attached files

I found it interesting that only men responded to my last post....they must have all had GOOD showers today!!:wah::D

You mean there are o ther men besides my ex husband that act like that!!!!!!!:p

Description of a lady's bath:

Turn on the tap...give it a minute...test the temperature of the water making sure that it is between warm and hot....squirt into the tub anything that will make suds from shampoo to dish soap.............run the water high enough where you can soak your whole body....make sure you have washcloth and soap and razor within reach....disrobe and slowly get in the the tub.....close your eyes and say. "ahhhhhhhh,'...then proceed with the business of cleaning the body. Stay in the tub til your toes start to wrinkle or until all the suds disappear.