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How do you feel about that? Are you a diehard supporter of marriage or do you lean more toward living together, not legally married? And why?

RedGlitter;691332 wrote: How do you feel about that? Are you a diehard supporter of marriage or do you lean more toward living together, not legally married? And why?


Alone without a room mate please ahahahaha

I dunno here if you live together without the piece of paper, all laws still apply to you just as though you were a married couple. I think the institute of Marriage is slowly loosing it's importants. People seem to have it in their mind that if you do not officially marry, it's easier to end the relationship... I don't think it's any different.

Glitter currently I don't have a lot of faith in Marriage and am happy to not even have a live in hehehehe

minks;691368 wrote: Alone without a room mate please ahahahaha

I dunno here if you live together without the piece of paper, all laws still apply to you just as though you were a married couple. I think the institute of Marriage is slowly loosing it's importants. People seem to have it in their mind that if you do not officially marry, it's easier to end the relationship... I don't think it's any different.

Glitter currently I don't have a lot of faith in Marriage and am happy to not even have a live in hehehehe


ditto for me Sista!!

I am not sure that I will ever get married again at this stage in my life...but I do know that I could care less about a big ceremony and all the hoop-la. It is more about the love for each other....I know that there are a lot of people that would judge me for having a live-in, I had one for about 8 months (big MISTAKE) and it was not easy...but I'm MY own woman and they know that, like it or lump it!

I think its sad that Marriage isn't as cherished as it used to be in the old days, at least it seems that way. I rushed into my first marriage, I know that I would NEVER do that again!

I don't think marriage is necessary. I see nothing wrong with living together. Or living apart. Whatever floats your boat. :-6

I have been married all my adult life,and it hasn't been easy thats for sure.

There is no doubt if we were not married,we would not be together now.

Don't get me wrong,we have had a good marriage. The last ten years have been the best so far.

One of us would have left,we both have came close at one time or another. Thankfuly not at the same time.

I'm just now getting use to him,changed the things I could :sneaky: and learned to live with the things I couldn't.:-5





:)

i am of a divided state on marriage..on the one hand if you only live together you are more likely ot try in the relationship..becasue one or the other can up and leave alot easier than married...so you are more concious of your responsbility to the union...



on the other hand there is no long term committment...to me it resounds of the same idea of i drive a car but dont want the responsibility of owning the title to it..that way when i get tired of it i can just leave it on the side of teh road at a moments notice..and not look back..oh well..

Well, I have done both. Lived with him then married him. I really do not see the difference.

At this time in my life, I see absolutely no reason for marriage at all.

Its odd how when I speak to two young people planning their weddings, or talking about getting married... all I really feel is kind of sad. I feel this way because I know that they more than likely will not remain together forever.

I still do , however have great reverence for very old couples I meet who have managed to spend a life time together. In this day and age it is a remarkable thing. I feel and have always felt thrilled at the concept of two people being together because they want to, and not because they have to. There is an exhilirating sense of freedom connected to that arrangement.

I never liked being called someones wife, even when I was married. i wanted to continue to be me.

I was talking to a lady yesterday who has been married three times. She said the first two times she didn't understand the value of marriage. She said she viewed it as something that could be easily discarded and regrets that she did. I think she said this marriage has lasted 15 years and said it hasn't always been easy but she is determined to continue in it because the difficult times pass.

It was interesting that she now sees marriage as a necessary thing for society to function well and she doesn't see it as something religious at all.

I don't know about you all, but I don't buy a pair of shoes without trying them on first.

Hi RedGlitter and all-

I'm separated from my spouse, intending to get divorced but it just hasn't happened for some reason. Maybe having kids together has something to do with this lengthy process I'm going through. I have no doubt in my mind that I don't want to be married any longer or involved with him in the way that I feel defines a married couple, yet I'm not divorced. For me this breaking of the marriage vow has been excruciating (almost 4 years since I moved out of the house). Even as an early 20 year old woman I didn't think it right to live with my serious boyfriend . I should probably have lived with him first, no? But I guess I value ceremony, perceived grace bestowed by powers greater than me, family and friends' witness of the marriage vow as a commitment to the endurance of such a union. But if my own kids come to me for my blessing on their marriage I will be critical I think until I'm sure they are sure the person is right for them. Now how does someone know if the person is right for them? Hmm... That's where I think in society religious and cultural entities come into play. I always wanted to be a Catholic so, among other reasons, I could have or now insist my kids go to premarital counseling. It's important that a loving clergy (that's how I thought of the Catholic church or protestant church elders) takes responsibility for our young people of the world. Gawd I'm sounding sentimental here huh? I think the wedding ceremony and the act of getting married is important the because, much like baptism, the event is in itself allowing the individual's community an opportunity to commit to the healthy longevity of whatever it is that is being celebrated--a commitment to support the healthy development of that person or persons. I came from a family who valued giving family members a lot of space in their lives. Maybe I'd have a different opinion about family and community 'support' if I grew up in a tighter nit family like the stereotypical Jewish or Italian family.

Hey thanks for allowing me the space to write all this!



Erin

Oh yes... I try on the shoes. Think they fit in the store. Pay for them. And when I wear them for a long time, I wind up in agony, and throw them away.

weeder;691800 wrote: Oh yes... I try on the shoes. Think they fit in the store. Pay for them. And when I wear them for a long time, I wind up in agony, and throw them away.


:yh_rotfl Good point!

The piece of paper has nothing to do with it, but I'm old school. I've lived with a few women, I've never been married. Funny thing is, I've got a woman right now who I think will probably ask me before the year is up. Damn tap dancing life with it's heavy shoes.

If you don't have a marriage bit of paper, it's a very good idea to have another legal document (and a will) to cover at least any shared property and absolutely any children born of the partnership.

I have been married twice.The first marriage was a big mistake and lasted seven years.The second time I was older and wiser,twenty three years on,we are still together and will be until one of us dies.I may be old fashioned,but I still think if you do not wish to marry,then you are holding back on a full commitment to your partner.

Well I'll have to think twice about proposing to any of you lot.

Mia;691919 wrote: I have been married twice.The first marriage was a big mistake and lasted seven years.The second time I was older and wiser,twenty three years on,we are still together and will be until one of us dies.I may be old fashioned,but I still think if you do not wish to marry,then you are holding back on a full commitment to your partner.


I totally disagree. It's just a piece of paper. If you're committed to someone it's because you want to be, not because of a piece of paper. As long as the legal stuff is sorted out what does it matter? A wedding means a huge bill for a nice day and another huge bill when things don't work out.

They say a marriage is a three day circus - an engagement ring, a wedding ring and suffer-ring. :wah: Seriously though, if you love someone and you're committed to them, I don't feel a piece of paper matters.

Oh and fyi, I've been with my hubby for 17 years. We're very happy still and one day we might make it legal. Perhaps. :wah:

I've been married to my first wife for 36 years. I sure hope it works out.:-4

Rapunzel;691925 wrote: I totally disagree. It's just a piece of paper. If you're committed to someone it's because you want to be, not because of a piece of paper. As long as the legal stuff is sorted out what does it matter? A wedding means a huge bill for a nice day and another huge bill when things don't work out.

They say a marriage is a three day circus - an engagement ring, a wedding ring and suffer-ring. :wah: Seriously though, if you love someone and you're committed to them, I don't feel a piece of paper matters.

Oh and fyi, I've been with my hubby for 17 years. We're very happy still and one day we might make it legal. Perhaps. :wah:


Why Mel..... You little devil you. I thought that wonderful and kind man was, of course your " Legal" Husband. Goes to show you, how little difference a written contract does mean. 17 years? Thats wonderful.

And for all of you who chose the legal choice, and are together and happy... that is wonderful too. A couple of unsuccessful marriages tends to make a person less than thrilled with the institution.

Uncle Kram;691920 wrote: Well I'll have to think twice about proposing to any of you lot.


I have time.....:-4:-4:D

Speaking for myself, I don't need a peice of paper to tell the world how much I hove my Hubby. :-4 The world does NOT matter to me! My hubby matters to me! As long as he knows how much I love him, then thats all that should matter! Besides the fact I could have bought a NICE BMW with all of the money that I gave to my attorney for my last divorce! :-5 :-5

Pat has just told me that I (me) agree with marriage :D

lillia;693491 wrote: If anyone feels marriage is just a piece of paper, then of course, that is all it will be to them and I would never enter into anything if I considered it so trivial.



I believe in marriage and it has worked for me.



If you don't believe in it, then don't do it. Simple as.


:yh_clap Absolutely agree, couldn't have put it better myself!

magenta flame;692095 wrote: Was thinking about this last night . Apparently we live in a 'throw away' society, From washing machines and light globes to cars and houses. It seems to be fashionable for people to dislike Marriage. I believe one day it will get to the point that couples will not want to be considered part of that 'throw away' society and will want proof that they are not ..ie the wedding ring, and the contract.

A contract that says essentially "I BELONG"



People believe it's just a piece of paper but I believe it's stability, proof of commitment, a statement in front of family and friends. It's the boundary of no return. "Do you want to marry me?" is the question to the answer of all time. It's the question, "are you dedicated to me?", "so dedicated that you would want to share my name?", "are you dedicated to the institution of sharing not only the plates in the cupboard but my bad moods and bad hair days and the fact I don't like your friends"? and here's a toughy in this day and age, "although you give birth to the kids are you ok with them having my name?". And even more importantly "will you be at my death bed, can I rely on you to look after me when I'm sick or injured, will you be there for me in the end?" The answer to this question is extremely important, and the answer, to the best of your ability, must be honest.



Marriage is not just a living arrangement and a contract like you'd sign for a loan. It will be your history as a human being this is how you will be written in the books of history, societal and family. The beginning of your own family line,.



I'm not talking about individual experiences I'm talking about the idea of marriage.

If marriage didn't work it would have been forgotten centuries ago.



You should think hard before entering into such a hallowed contract, and think doubly hard before ending it.



It's not marriage that is difficult or wrong, it's the people inside the marriage that make it diffficult or wrong, it's a long term committment to live up to.


You hit the nail right on the head magenta, excellent post!!!