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Are these true? I haven't fact-checked them. But amusing none-the-less.



CONFIRMED Darwin Award: DEATH BY LAVA LAMP

28 November 2004

Washington

We have a new Darwin winner, with the recent demise of a man

at the hands of his lava lamp. "Why on Earth he heated a lava lamp

on the stove, we don't know," said baffled police.

No drug or alcohol evidence was found; Philip Quinn, 24, in his

right mind, placed a lava lamp on his kitchen burner and turned up

the flame. In due course, he rediscovered this favorite explosive

generator of deadly shrapnel. He was found dead in his Kent trailer

home, a shard of glass through his heart.

-confirmed (KiroTV, CNN)

--------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+

CONFIRMED Darwin Award: KILLER SHADES

17 September 2003

San Francisco, California

Barry Bonds had just made the last out at the bottom of the eighth inning.

By coincidence, Todd Edward Adams, a Hawaiian surfer dude who had recently

relocated to Santa Cruz for the gnarly waves at Maverick's, was bumming the

last beer from a new friend at the San Francisco Giants' ballpark at the

same time.

Todd was leaning back over the railing of the Arcade port walk, getting to

the "bottom eighth" of a beer, when his Maui Jim* designer sunglasses

slipped off the top of his head. Down they fell, landing twenty-five feet

below, where a helpful bum picked them up and tried to toss them back.

But it was too far! Todd called out that he was coming down to get them.

His wife, Kathy, described Todd as "a passionate surfer" talented enough to

turn pro. Perhaps his sense of physical prowess was his downfall. The agile

38-year-old briefly considered the long walk down, and then came up with an

alternative. He climbed over the railing, jumped to perch on a light sconce

five feet below, then dropped like Tarzan to the ground, gratefully

reclaiming his shades from the bum.

At least, that was the plan, and the first part, climbing the railing, went

fine. The second part was more problematic. Todd missed the sconce and "came

down like a pancake," according to a startled observer a few feet from the

point of impact. The crowd was shocked into silence. Why would anyone take

such a chance for a pair of shades?

Todd would have been chagrined to hear the observer's next words. "They

looked cheap," he said, apologizing, "I don't know sunglasses brands."

-confirmed (San Francisco Examiner, Santa Cruz Sentinal, San Jose Mercury

News)



More DARWIN AWARDS: www.darwinawards.com

The 2005 Darwin Awards are up.

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

Here are a few I liked.......

Death Valley Daze

2005 Darwin Award Nominee

Confirmed True by Darwin

(27 July 2005, California) Robert, 35, was eager to hang out with the nudists at the Palm Springs campground in a part of Death Valley where temperatures reached 136 degrees. The track was rough but passable until he was lured into the Saline Mud Flats by its dry, crackled surface, radiating heat in the baking sun. Within a few feet, the wheels of his VW microbus sunk deep into the muck that lay hidden beneath the deceptively dry crust. Robert was miles from nowhere, surrounded by the bleached skulls of animals that had become trapped in the mire. But he had plenty of water, so he waited for help to find him on the remote dirt track. After six days, he abandoned the microbus and began walking to a less deserted track where someone was more likely to pass by.

Luck was with him. As he was shaking the last drop of water from his last bottle, help arrived in the form of intrepid 14-year-old British lads from the League of Venturers, who were training in search-and-rescue techniques. "He was crying and completely hysterical. I don't think he'd expected to last the day," said the unit leader. They gave him a lift to the nearest ranger station, 80 miles away, where he kissed the ground in gratitude.

Although Robert had cheated death once, that didn't stop him from tempting fate again.

In nearby Bishop, he found someone to tow the microbus out of the mudflats. Alas, it had two flat tires and other mechanical problems, so he returned to Bishop for automotive supplies. He snagged another ride into Death Valley, this time with a couple who took an unfamiliar route from the north, and dropped him off at a washout in the road about 15 miles from the Palm Springs campground.

His plan was to locate the campground, and once there, enlist help fixing his vehicle. He stashed his supplies and began walking. His body was found three days later, without a map, a GPS, or even water. Authorities estimated that he had walked along the road for 10 miles before heading into the open desert, seeking water.





Freeway Dangler

2005 Darwin Award Nominee

Confirmed True by Darwin

(31 May 2005, Seattle, Washington) Strength and endurance are two of the most important characteristics that can be passed on to improve the species, so physical challenges between males are frequent. In this case, two drinking buddies found themselves on an overpass 40 feet above a busy freeway in downtown Seattle at 2:45 a.m. It turned out to be the perfect place to determine who had more strength and endurance. Whoever could dangle from the overpass the longest would win! Unfortunately, the winner was too tired from his victory to climb back up, despite help from his 31-year-old friend. The unidentified champion fell smack into the front of a semi-truck barreling down the highway at 60 mph and bounced onto the pavement, where he was hit by a car. The car did not stop. Authorities did not identify the winner of the competition.

Chimney-Cleaning Grenade

2005 Darwin Award Nominee

Confirmed True by Darwin

(13 January 2005, Bizkupija, Croatia) On a Thursday afternoon around 4:30, 55-year-old Marko went into his semi-detached workshop to make himself a tool for chimney cleaning. The chimney was too high for a simple broom to work, but if he could attach a brush to a chain and then weigh it down with something, that would do the trick. But what could he use as a weight? He happened to have the perfect object: it was heavy, yet compact, and best of all it was made of metal, so he could weld it to the chain. He must have somehow overlooked the fact that it was also a hand grenade and was filled with explosive material.

Marko turned on his electrical welding apparatus and began to create an arc between the chain and the grenade. As the metal heated up, the grenade exploded. The force of the explosion killed poor Marko instantly, blasting shrapnel through the walls of the shed and shattering the windshield of a Mercedes parked outside. Marko's chimney was untouched, however.