ForumGarden

Is it possible to learn from a forum about some-one? Exchange of conversation brings on clues of the most mysterious? I feel something weird at times. There are feelings everywhere?

Feelings...whoa whoa whoa. :guitarist

I think you can know who someone wants you to think they are. Then you just have to make that leap of faith if they are honest or not.

Hi Paula...i think people's writings reveal much about their character. of course, on the internet people can be whomever they wish. but the real deal comes through in time. inflection and tone and body language don't exist here, so we rely on verbal cues. your instincts are probably pretty good! it's like interviewing for me, i like to sit back and let them talk. what they tell and what they withhold says a lot.

koan wrote: Feelings...whoa whoa whoa. :guitarist




ROFL!

It's imposssible!!! Yes, it's impossible to really know someone from their postings on this or any other Forum. You think you know me for example, from my posts, info that I place on my bio, and even my listed web site, but it could all be a sham. I have been using the web to communicate since 1987 and take everything I read with a grain of salt. Really getting to know someone on the web just ain't gonna happen.

lady cop wrote: Hi Paula...i think people's writings reveal much about their character. of course, on the internet people can be whomever they wish. but the real deal comes through in time. inflection and tone and body language don't exist here, so we rely on verbal cues. your instincts are probably pretty good! it's like interviewing for me, i like to sit back and let them talk. what they tell and what they withhold says a lot.


Spoken like a true champion and protector.

Lon wrote: It's imposssible!!! Yes, it's impossible to really know someone from their postings on this or any other Forum. You think you know me for example, from my posts, info that I place on my bio, and even my listed web site, but it could all be a sham. I have been using the web to communicate since 1987 and take everything I read with a grain of salt. Really getting to know someone on the web just ain't gonna happen.


I think LC has it down pat. Liars and prevaricators have trouble keeping their stories straight. They can't decide which lie goes where and under scrutiny they can't tell the truth from their fabrications. The internet can let you know about people but the people have to be up front about who they are.

These threads are not filled with 12 year olds that are trying to pass themselves off as adults. You can discern reality from fantasy in what people say. You just have to trust in that little person in you that lets you know what kind of information is contained in the missives. Once you catch them in a fallacious statement that's when the grain of salt comes into use.

Pessimism is alright when you have reason to be so, but just being pessistmic for pessimism's sake will only allow you to lose a lot of the valid, helpful information that people are trying to relay to you. Not everyone has a hidden, nefarious agenda. Some people just want to exchange their feelings to see if there are like-minded people in the world to tell them that they are not alone in the Universe.

It seems to me a few of the female members here are friends. Did you know each other before or after the net?

I'll go out on a limb and say I don't think weeder is a deranged killer of anything except unloved plants and overgrown grass. Watch out when she revs her lawnmower though. I also have respect and admiration for a few other ladies on the forum...so why should I be more skeptical in my opinions of the male members? Is that not what is being implied?

There are some members I wouldn't trust farther than I could proverbially throw them (I could probably throw them farther than you think) but the percentage here seems to be fairly similar to "real life".

koan wrote: It seems to me a few of the female members here are friends. Did you know each other before or after the net?

I'll go out on a limb and say I don't think weeder is a deranged killer of anything except unloved plants and overgrown grass. Watch out when she revs her lawnmower though. I also have respect and admiration for a few other ladies on the forum...so why should I be more skeptical in my opinions of the male members? Is that not what is being implied?

There are some members I wouldn't trust farther than I could proverbially throw them (I could probably throw them farther than you think) but the percentage here seems to be fairly similar to "real life".


Statistically men are more prone to taking physical advantage of women than women are of men. It's unfortunate for men but it is just as unfortunate, if not more so, to have to listen to women recounting the horrors of their ordeals with these types.

Better safe than sorry. It's too bad for us but I'm just as glad that they are being safe.

This thread has been bothering me. Unsure why, I thought about it and reached the following conclusion:

I think the original cause was a member, unsure if the connections she is making are meaningful, looking for assurance that our relationships here are legitimate. It quickly took a bend in the practical direction of use caution. Although very good practical advice has been given, I have been hesitant to take away from the legitimacy that I think Paula was looking for. Yes, use discretion as to what personal info you give and to whom but I consider this forum to be just as real in the friendships and discord that occurs. A lot of people I meet in real life are liars. Eventually they will be exposed. You are all real to me and I value the personalities of the members as much as anywhere else. It is possible to have friends that you may never see.

Koan, are you saying we will all turn out to be liars?

People tend to be different online than RL, maybe only slightly though. The quiet shy person in RL can be the loud annoying or full of fun person online and vise versa.

As LC said, it is just words we read online, I often find they can be misread. I tend to do and say things online that I would in RL, but the lack of bodylanguage, they are often taken the wrong way.

Here I notice the difference in language usage, even though we are all talking in English, bloke being a good example :wah:

koan wrote: This thread has been bothering me. Unsure why, I thought about it and reached the following conclusion:

I think the original cause was a member, unsure if the connections she is making are meaningful, looking for assurance that our relationships here are legitimate. It quickly took a bend in the practical direction of use caution. Although very good practical advice has been given, I have been hesitant to take away from the legitimacy that I think Paula was looking for. Yes, use discretion as to what personal info you give and to whom but I consider this forum to be just as real in the friendships and discord that occurs. A lot of people I meet in real life are liars. Eventually they will be exposed. You are all real to me and I value the personalities of the members as much as anywhere else. It is possible to have friends that you may never see.


Sounds just about right to me. There are a lot of very sincere people in this garden and I hope that they see the information that is forthcoming is meant to help them through the days. At least on my part it is. I can only speak for myself. If sincerity from a lot of people in this garden was to be measured then the garden would be overflowing. The altruism that permeates this forum is tangible to the discerning onlooker.

letha wrote: Koan, are you saying we will all turn out to be liars?

People tend to be different online than RL, maybe only slightly though. The quiet shy person in RL can be the loud annoying or full of fun person online and vise versa.

As LC said, it is just words we read online, I often find they can be misread. I tend to do and say things online that I would in RL, but the lack of bodylanguage, they are often taken the wrong way.

Here I notice the difference in language usage, even though we are all talking in English, bloke being a good example :wah:


I don't think that Koan is saying that we will all turn out to be liars. I would suggest that she is saying that, as a rule, the people involved are legitimately trying to help. It is the help that is needed or asked for that should be addressed to the person that is asking for it. I think that Koan is suggesting that liars will eventually be found out. Those that aren't shouldn't skip a beat.

That makes sense, just seems sad to think that a lot of people she meets in RL turn out to be liars. Maybe I'm more careful than I realised at choosing friends, although, in general I know what she means, I just don't tend to think too much about those people.

letha wrote: That makes sense, just seems sad to think that a lot of people she meets in RL turn out to be liars. Maybe I'm more careful than I realised at choosing friends, although, in general I know what she means, I just don't tend to think too much about those people.


I would like to qualify what was said. Everybody in this world is a liar. It is whether or not they are trying to be truthful with themselves and others, and no longer just thinking that lying is par for the course in society, that is the crucial intent of the questioning of other people's intentions.

Koan is a very sincere person that hopes that people would be true to their words, however, she realizes that there are still people that will say anything to get their way.

I strongly feel that you can get to know someone by reading their posts. I dont have any internet experience with any place but here. I could be mistaken, but I have the impression that it is of a higher calibur than many other places there are to correspond. I f you consider the subjects discussed here.. and the fact that language allowed is monitored, I dont think straight out deranged candidates would be interested in spending too much time here. People you come to know very well are capable of surprising you with behavior you never dreamed they would display. Dishonesty,cruelty,selfishness.rage,hypocrisy. Actually, Ive mentioned this before.. Ideally, if I were considering a personal relationship with someone.. I would wish it were possible to spend 6 months doing exactly what we do here with them. Before I even looked at their face. That is how revealing I find this Forum to be. I discovered that here....... I was not friends with anyone from this Forum before getting involved. Women always have a tendency to warm up faster to other women , than we do men. That is simply our nature.

Ps..... I dont mow lawns.. Never have. I do however take on projects that require the use of chain saws, shearing machines,axes, and ocassionally a blow torch.

weeder wrote: I strongly feel that you can get to know someone by reading their posts. I dont have any internet experience with any place but here. I could be mistaken, but I have the impression that it is of a higher calibur than many other places there are to correspond. I f you consider the subjects discussed here.. and the fact that language allowed is monitored, I dont think straight out deranged candidates would be interested in spending too much time here. People you come to know very well are capable of surprising you with behavior you never dreamed they would display. Dishonesty,cruelty,selfishness.rage,hypocrisy. Actually, Ive mentioned this before.. Ideally, if I were considering a personal relationship with someone.. I would wish it were possible to spend 6 months doing exactly what we do here with them. Before I even looked at their face. That is how revealing I find this Forum to be. I discovered that here....... I was not friends with anyone from this Forum before getting involved. Women always have a tendency to warm up faster to other women , than we do men. That is simply our nature.

Ps..... I dont mow lawns.. Never have. I do however take on projects that require the use of chain saws, shearing machines,axes, and ocassionally a blow torch.


Sounds good to me.

Also...everyone in this world are not liars. When you have had the good fortune to have known people who are not, it provides you with the spiritual faith you need to keep on living, keep on believing, keep on taking chances, and to keep on growing. When you step out of yourself and explore unchartered places,you always risk getting hurt or dissapointed. You also invite the possibilty of having experiences that might make your soul soar.

weeder wrote: Also...everyone in this world are not liars. When you have had the good fortune to have known people who are not, it provides you with the spiritual faith you need to keep on living, keep on believing, keep on taking chances, and to keep on growing. When you step out of yourself and explore unchartered places,you always risk getting hurt or dissapointed. You also invite the possibilty of having experiences that might make your soul soar.


Are you telling me that you have never lied? Never witnessed someone telling a lie while you stood by and let it hapen? If so then I apologize to everybody that has never told a lie.

No matter how I put it this sounds like a sarcastic remark. It isn't. There are people that have learned that it is better to live in the truth but it is a learned behaviour. There are any number reasons that a person would lie.

If I had some people dressed in funny looking suits coming up to me asking me if I've seen any n-words or J-words I would tell them the truth. "No, I haven't seen any." Is that a lie?

On the same token there are those that would blithely point out where they are hidden as well as where they could be hiding, not caring that the people that they are involving may have nothing to do with keeping these people safe from harm Is that a lie?

The devil will do his best and damnedest not to let you live in truth. It doesn't suit his purpose. Jesus never said that it would be easy. I agree with Him.

kensloft wrote: If I had some people dressed in funny looking suits coming up to me asking me if I've seen any n-words or J-words I would tell them the truth. "No, I haven't seen any." Is that a lie?

On the same token there are those that would blithely point out where they are hidden as well as where they could be hiding, not caring that the people that they are involving may have nothing to do with keeping these people safe from harm Is that a lie?I have no idea which is the truth or a lie!

What are N-words or J-words

You do know there are different degrees of lies?

You appear to be talking about all lies, some people will find "white lies" for example exceptable.

It is true that everyone in the world lies, but it is the reason that they lie and extent of the lie that is judged, and that is something that each and everyone of us has our own idea about.

letha wrote: I have no idea which is the truth or a lie!

What are N-words or J-words

You do know there are different degrees of lies?

You appear to be talking about all lies, some people will find "white lies" for example exceptable.

It is true that everyone in the world lies, but it is the reason that they lie and extent of the lie that is judged, and that is something that each and everyone of us has our own idea about.


N-words are what African Americans were called for years. It can't be written because it is a perjorative term used against them. The j word is for Jewish in the shortened form.

I realize that there are degrees of lies but the point is that they are lies. Regardless of degree. I was responding to a statement that said that not all people are liars. I agree that not all people are telling lies per se but I, also, am stating that they have lied in the course of their lives. I would love to live in the world where there are no liars but it isn't happening yet.

Will it cease? I believe it will but it's the timing that has me flummoxed.

kensloft wrote: Are you telling me that you have never lied? Never witnessed someone telling a lie while you stood by and let it hapen? If so then I apologize to everybody that has never told a lie.

No matter how I put it this sounds like a sarcastic remark. It isn't. There are people that have learned that it is better to live in the truth but it is a learned behaviour. There are any number reasons that a person would lie.

If I had some people dressed in funny looking suits coming up to me asking me if I've seen any n-words or J-words I would tell them the truth. "No, I haven't seen any." Is that a lie?

On the same token there are those that would blithely point out where they are hidden as well as where they could be hiding, not caring that the people that they are involving may have nothing to do with keeping these people safe from harm Is that a lie?

The devil will do his best and damnedest not to let you live in truth. It doesn't suit his purpose. Jesus never said that it would be easy. I agree with Him.
Standing by siently.. listening to someone lying.. is being a coward, a traitor, and a

weak human being. It is not being a liar. The word liar being discussed here as an action word. As in to lie. to speak dishonestly. Not everyone on this earth lies.

weeder wrote: Standing by siently.. listening to someone lying.. is being a coward, a traitor, and a

weak human being. It is not being a liar. The word liar being discussed here as an action word. As in to lie. to speak dishonestly. Not everyone on this earth lies.


People can lie to themselves too. Standing there and letting someone lie is just as bad as the lie coming out of your mouth. You are lying to yourself in that case.

I agree that they are cowards and traitors and weak human beings but I think that they could be classified as a liar, also.

And I agree, thankfully, that not everybody on this earth lies. There are those wonderful people that have learned that to live without lying is to be alive. I am sure that if you asked them if they had ever lied, then they would say that they had. Otherwise we've all messed up by not recognizing that the Messiah is here.

I am not aguing with you weeder. I am arguing a point. I would like nothing more than to be considered the most honest person ever on the face of the earth but I, in my heart of hearts, would know that it was a lie.

When I read your posts I can feel the honesty in the way that you phrase your words. I appreciate and admire this in you. Do you really believe that there are people that have never told a lie? To themselves or others?

In Peace

I think if we lived in a world where there were no lies absolute, then peoples feelings would become very hurt, after all, many white lies are said when attempting not to cause hurt.

And if we lived in a world where things didn't happen that might hurt peoples feelings, then it would be a very strange world... I'm seeing fluffy bunnies and rainbows.

'Scuse me while I confer with the Guy behind Paula's couch. I can't recal him ever having talked about bunnies and rainbows? I'll get back to you.

kensloft wrote: People can lie to themselves too. Standing there and letting someone lie is just as bad as the lie coming out of your mouth. You are lying to yourself in that case.

I agree that they are cowards and traitors and weak human beings but I think that they could be classified as a liar, also.

And I agree, thankfully, that not everybody on this earth lies. There are those wonderful people that have learned that to live without lying is to be alive. I am sure that if you asked them if they had ever lied, then they would say that they had. Otherwise we've all messed up by not recognizing that the Messiah is here.

I am not aguing with you weeder. I am arguing a point. I would like nothing more than to be considered the most honest person ever on the face of the earth but I, in my heart of hearts, would know that it was a lie.

When I read your posts I can feel the honesty in the way that you phrase your words. I appreciate and admire this in you. Do you really believe that there are people that have never told a lie? To themselves or others?

In PeaceHeaven shines more brilliantly,when one has visited hell repeatedly..If you could only know how many times Ive been lied to,manipulated,

and fooled.. you would be amazed that I still hold on to the beliefs that I have.

Pure, truthful and trustworthy people are few and far between. To meet one is an experience you cherish your whole life. Pearls amongst swine... I think that is the way the saying goes? It is interesting for me that these jewels have been people who my relationship with have been very transitory, not permanent. They also have been people whom I have not given my heart to.

weeder wrote: Heaven shines more brilliantly,when one has visited hell repeatedly..If you could only know how many times Ive been lied to,manipulated,

and fooled.. you would be amazed that I still hold on to the beliefs that I have.

Pure, truthful and trustworthy people are few and far between. To meet one is an experience you cherish your whole life. Pearls amongst swine... I think that is the way the saying goes? It is interesting for me that these jewels have been people who my relationship with have been very transitory, not permanent. They also have been people whom I have not given my heart to.


I hear you loud and clear. Been there. Got the same t-shirt you have and can't wait 'til I see them again, if ever. If I don't they've instilled me with their presence that will last a lifetime.

kensloft :-6

I'm glad you were here to explain my words. You hit the mark on every point.

weeder :-6

you are deadlier than I realized! :wah: Sorry to degrade you to lawnmower. Hope you got the point that I believe you are wonderful and you appealed to me as the best example of goodness.

Dear Koan, Yes,.......I am Its Ok,.... Yes,I did... Your

a sweet heart too..........................Love, Weeder

weeder wrote: Dishonesty,cruelty,selfishness.rage,hypocrisy. ...Women always have a tendency to warm up faster to other women , than we do men. That is simply our nature.

......... I do however take on projects that require the use of chain saws, shearing machines,axes, and ocassionally a blow torch.
Sorry folks, I aint buyin in to this Saint Weeder stuff, ...matter of fact, I'm buyin a kevlar cup! :yh_peace

Very very nice... I have NEVER been referred to as a saint before..... When I was a child I did used to run through the sprinkler, on the front lawn.. with a towel on my head... pretending to be Audrey Hepburn. From the movie Nuns Story. I wonder if that was apremonition of things to come. Now that I think about it life has been pretty darn chaste here for the past few years.. What is Kevlar Cup?

Would that be similar to a diaphram????

weeder wrote: Now that I think about it life has been pretty darn chaste here for the past few years.. What is Kevlar Cup?

Would that be similar to a diaphram????
Kevlar is the material used to make bullet proof body armor. A cup? blushing ah, er codpiece Main Entry: cod·piece

Pronunciation: 'käd-"pEs

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English codpese, from cod bag, scrotum (from Old English codd) + pese piece

: a flap or bag concealing an opening in the front of men's breeches especially in the 15th and 16th centuries sort of crotch armor?



Whew:yh_sweat Look hon, ya just gotta hide them sharp tools if ya wanna start spelling that as chased instead of chaste, with the N.O.W.gals still celebratin Lorna Bobbit day, a guy just can't be too careful! :-1

Der Wulf wrote: with the N.O.W.gals still celebratin Lorna Bobbit day, a guy just can't be too careful! :-1


Ah. A hockey player wears a cup to stop pucks from hitting them in the... ah... er...

um... what the codpiece covers.

Lorena Bobbit, a Jewish friend of mine told me, would never be able to become a rabbi because she failed the circumcision test. I'd really start to worry about NOW if they push for her to re-try the Rabbinnical College entry exams.