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If your teenagers bedroom is a pigsty & they wont clean it, is it acceptable for you to go in & do it or is this an invasion of their privacy?

buttercup;646178 wrote: If your teenagers bedroom is a pigsty & they wont clean it, is it acceptable for you to go in & do it or is this an invasion of their privacy?




a really really good post :-6





i have no idea

buttercup;646178 wrote: If your teenagers bedroom is a pigsty & they wont clean it, is it acceptable for you to go in & do it or is this an invasion of their privacy?


How old exactly?

anywhere from 13 - 19

Betty Boop;646182 wrote: How old exactly?




17 years 9 months 26 days 4 hours 23 minutes and 52 seconds

Yup that age will do nicely Jim, what say you? have you got the right?

Yes you do. If they want you to respect their privacy then they have to respect you and keep the place clean. Simply put if they do not want you going into their room then do not give you a reason to to go in.

buttercup;646187 wrote: Yup that age will do nicely Jim, what say you? have you got the right?


if there was a bad smell or if there where insects crawling out ,but i think every one should have some privicy really ,if any one goes through my phone , my pm,s ,my mail i hate it dont i suzy :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

It's not a good solution, bcup. If you do it you're in the same position next time round. Do you want to be thought of as a housemaid?

What you have, presumably, is a kid with a room that's stuffed to high heaven with junk, old crisp packets, unwashed clothes, enough paper to fill several dustbin sacks and a carpet that hasn't once seen the light of day this year. The poor child hasn't a clue where to start since all that happens is it gets moved from one place to another but still ends up piled about an overfull room.

There's three categories of content. Keep Throw and Store. If you can magic a half dozen 2'x2'x2' cardboard boxes you have the basis of a Store section. A roll of dustbin bags deals with Throw. The minimum possible of what's in there remains, finally washed, as Keep and it can finally fit into the drawers and shelves of the room.

If you get those and declare a specific day for tidying it all out, you can offer a choice, be helped or do it yourself. Either's fine. The key moment you're aiming at is the room being utterly empty an hour before it's finished. The pair of you can then vacuum, wipe, polish, even discuss decorating it, before bringing back in the Keep contents and putting them in their proper places.

I can't see any teenager turning down an offer like that.

spot;646193 wrote: It's not a good solution, bcup. If you do it you're in the same position next time round. Do you want to be thought of as a housemaid?



What you have, presumably, is a kid with a room that's stuffed to high heaven with junk, old crisp packets, unwashed clothes, enough paper to fill several dustbin sacks and a carpet that hasn't once seen the light of day this year. The poor child hasn't a clue where to start since all that happens is it gets moved from one place to another but still ends up piled about an overfull room.



There's three categories of content. Keep Throw and Store. If you can magic a half dozen 2'x2'x2' cardboard boxes you have the basis of a Store section. A roll of dustbin bags deals with Throw. The minimum possible of what's in there remains, finally washed, as Keep and it can finally fit into the drawers and shelves of the room.



If you get those and declare a specific day for tidying it all out, you can offer a choice, be helped or do it yourself. Either's fine. The key moment you're aiming at is the room being utterly empty an hour before it's finished. The pair of you can then vacuum, wipe, polish, even discuss decorating it, before bringing back in the Keep contents and putting them in their proper places.



I can't see any teenager turning down an offer like that.




brilliant spot , i know what to do with my girl now:-6 :-6

jimbo;646195 wrote: brilliant spot , i know what to do with my girl now:-6 :-6


She's only been back a week!!

Excellent advice from you Spot. My daughter differs in some ways in that she agrees to do all the above then does not appear at designated time, day :rolleyes:

spot;646199 wrote: She's only been back a week!!


You've obviously forgotten the damage a teenager can do in a week :wah:

buttercup;646184 wrote: anywhere from 13 - 19


lol early teens I'd get in there and get on with it, but as they get older I'd be more respectful of their privacy, it's a hard one, I remember being absolutely disgusted with my mum for going in and cleaning my room once I reached 16.

buttercup;646200 wrote: My daughter differs in some ways in that she agrees to do all the above then does not appear at designated time, day :rolleyes:

I'd say it's not acceptable. It may be your house but it's still their stuff and it should be left however they want it. When they get sick of living like a slob, they'll clean it up. A child's bedroom maybe. A teenager's room, definitely not.

My son is 19. When his bedroom gets to the point where I can't take looking at it for 5 seconds, I tell him to either clean it, or I will. He'll usually go in and clean enough to make it livable. He loves his privacy and found out years ago that when I say that, I mean it. He knows if I do it, a lot of things, whether he wants to keep them or not, are going.

I think they have the right to privacy, but if it becomes a health hazard-clean away!:wah:

jimbo;646191 wrote: if there was a bad smell or if there where insects crawling out ,but i think every one should have some privicy really ,if any one goes through my phone , my pm,s ,my mail i hate it dont i suzy :rolleyes:


You sure do, always worried what will get seen eh Jimbo



jimbo;646195 wrote: brilliant spot , i know what to do with my girl now:-6


Excellent idea Spot, take note Jimbo, I know what to do with you now :p

I give the kids the chance to clean it, if it's not done after about 2 weeks of asking :rolleyes: I will not let them out til it's done, if they still don't do it then I go in with black sacks and chuck near on everything

To be fair my son is spotless, my daughter and Jim are the messiest in the house.

I will leave my kids rooms alone as long as they don't have food, bugs, etc. in there....

but if they want to live with their room being a mess that won't bother me. :-6



I will pick on them though......:p :wah:

My parents were pretty lenient with us, well actually me. My sister always had something rotting under bed. Ya'll ever seen a petrified cheeseburger. Anyways with my kids, if they can live in the mess fine, but if I start seeing mice or roaches, I'm going in with my hazmat suit!

My 18 year old keeps his room pretty clean, Every once in a while there will be some trash on the floor, but for the most part...he keeps clean. I don't think about invading his privacy...if I want to know something I ask him, he doesn't tell me then we have a BIG problem!!! Thankfully, we don't have any problems other than the way the boy drives:-5 :-5 :-5

buttercup;646178 wrote: If your teenagers bedroom is a pigsty & they wont clean it, is it acceptable for you to go in & do it or is this an invasion of their privacy?


No experience with this but it's still your house, you have the right to go into any room until they're paying rent and still then to tidy if they don't. That's my opinion anyway.

Also though on the other side. I know some that pay rent and are adults and their parents will still go into their room.

I grew up in a very strict house. Every morning our beds had to be made to the tee. Not a single thing was tolerated on the floor or any clothes out of their place. Then every Saturday we had to do deep cleaning in the entire house. Friggin unbelievable.

I battle with this issue daily..... My son is 22, and living with me in a 2 bedroom apartment. He is a complete and total slob. I do not want to go into his room, but we are talking old food.... empty glasses etc.... The place is small, and so I am embarassed if someone comes over.

Now, on the other hand..... xyz??? couldnt remember the letters of your user name... sorry. My mother was a clean FANATIC. While I enjoyed growing up in a clean home, there were negatives. I was never allowed to have one inch of privacy ANYWHERE. It was her right to go into any drawer, your closet, or any box she saw in the room. Our bedrooms were for sleeping, period. How I envied my friends who had their " Own Space" Books, cosmetics, art supplies scattered everywhere.. I was so much more drawn to this enviornment, than the sterile one I had at home.

So, I say... other than food, garbage etc.... leave it alone.

buttercup;646178 wrote: If your teenagers bedroom is a pigsty & they wont clean it, is it acceptable for you to go in & do it or is this an invasion of their privacy?


Nope I don't believe so, they are allowed their private space as they grow up. I would hate for my kids to have entered my bedroom and rooted through my things oops never mind, that has happened, hahahaha naw, I would never go through my girls rooms. Of course if smoke was coming from it, I would HAVE to investigate.

Hey me too, my father was like a drill master about our rooms. It made me mental, today I know I go the opposite in my own home and it's out of spite ahahahaha

Throwing the kid out is good ,then advertise for a clean living lodger

The only reason for doing it is to help them, it's not an imposition. Their problem is doing it effectively without a plan. I hadn't considered the case where it's already a room in its optimum state in their eyes.

jpcme;646190 wrote: Yes you do. If they want you to respect their privacy then they have to respect you and keep the place clean. Simply put if they do not want you going into their room then do not give you a reason to to go in.


Completely agree. My dad cleaned my rooms a few times and found some things that i didn't want found.



Needless to say my room has been spotless since.

buttercup;646178 wrote: If your teenagers bedroom is a pigsty & they wont clean it, is it acceptable for you to go in & do it or is this an invasion of their privacy?


I'm a teenager & my room does get really bad at points but most of the time its clean

magenta flame;646539 wrote: WHAT? Bloody oath you have a right! it's your house, they sleep under your roof. You feed them your food . You pay the electricity Bill and water!


BFD!!!

This is one rubbish copout that needs to be thrown out. You do not own your offspring whether they live in your damned house or not. They are human beings with wills of their own and are not there to do your bidding.

By your same token, when my dad comes to live with me when he is old and not well, I can throw his sh*t out the door because I pay his bills, feed him and own the house!

Rubbish copout.

How do you expect to find the pot if you dont snoop ?