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I was just coming out of my shop earlier when one of my neighbours was passing. He's a renowned p*sshead and lechy old fart but I just wasn't prepared for what he said to me today.



He basically had a conversation with my boobs - telling me that they were a lovely pair, that someone was looking after them well, that God gave women boobs for men to play with, he'd make sure I enjoyed him playing with mine, and that he had a p***k like a donkey and I'd enjoy 'it' with him.



I just said 'On that note I'm off'

Why is it that afterwards you always think of what you should have said, which was -



'As if I'd go anywhere near you you unshaven, toothless, small willyed, smelly old man!!!'



Bah!

I would have punched him in the mouth!

minks;620598 wrote: I would have punched him in the mouth!


I should have but his family run the business next to mine and I don't want to fal out with them, it's not their fault he's foul but I shall avoid him in future - or punch him in the mouth:wah:

minks;620598 wrote: I would have punched him in the mouth!


got you are sooooooooooo friendly minks:wah: :wah:

ooo thats really not nice! i hate people who think they can talk to you like that!

Its not on!

xx

WTH?!

Imladris, you should have reached down, pointed at it and laughed.

What an obnoxious wretch.

neffy;620602 wrote: got you are sooooooooooo friendly minks:wah: :wah:


hahaha this grumpy old gal has no tolerance for pervy men ahahaaha

i use to work in an old second hand book.I was only 19 and had just got married to shelleys dad,well this man came is andasked for books that would show his granddaughter about sex you know birds and the bees.Well i took him to the section that thought would be of help,then he started to ask me questions about if i enjoyed sex.:-3

Well i was so shocked but when i looked at him he had his hands in his pocket well do i need to say anymore:sneaky:

neffy;620609 wrote: i use to work in an old second hand book.I was only 19 and had just got married to shelleys dad,well this man came is andasked for books that would show his granddaughter about sex you know birds and the bees.Well i took him to the section that thought would be of help,then he started to ask me questions about if i enjoyed sex.:-3

Well i was so shocked but when i looked at him he had his hands in his pocket well do i need to say anymore:sneaky:


omg!!

i know it was disgusting:-5

Confucius says , man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day :sneaky:

Uncle Fester;620622 wrote: Confucius says , man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day :sneaky:


i am now pmsl here uncle fester:wah: :wah:

Imladris;620596 wrote: I was just coming out of my shop earlier when one of my neighbours was passing. He's a renowned p*sshead and lechy old fart but I just wasn't prepared for what he said to me today.



He basically had a conversation with my boobs - telling me that they were a lovely pair, that someone was looking after them well, that God gave women boobs for men to play with, he'd make sure I enjoyed him playing with mine, and that he had a p***k like a donkey and I'd enjoy 'it' with him.



I just said 'On that note I'm off'

Why is it that afterwards you always think of what you should have said, which was -



'As if I'd go anywhere near you you unshaven, toothless, small willyed, smelly old man!!!'



Bah!


you should have kicked him in his p***k Immy.:sneaky:

zinkyusa;620627 wrote: you should have kicked him in his p***k Immy.:sneaky:


that was my second thought too.....

Imladris;620596 wrote: I was just coming out of my shop earlier when one of my neighbours was passing. He's a renowned p*sshead and lechy old fart but I just wasn't prepared for what he said to me today.



He basically had a conversation with my boobs - telling me that they were a lovely pair, that someone was looking after them well, that God gave women boobs for men to play with, he'd make sure I enjoyed him playing with mine, and that he had a p***k like a donkey and I'd enjoy 'it' with him.



I just said 'On that note I'm off'

Why is it that afterwards you always think of what you should have said, which was -



'As if I'd go anywhere near you you unshaven, toothless, small willyed, smelly old man!!!'



Bah! I'm the same way Immy....the older I get the more out-spoken I am though...and wish I could've been there to help you out, would've been nice for someone else to put him in his place since your business and his are next to each other...Would've been fun to put him in his place, sounds like he needs it.

Uncle Fester;620622 wrote: Confucius says , man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day :sneaky: Was wondering what you were doing over there Uncle!!:wah:

Imladris;620596 wrote: I was just coming out of my shop earlier when one of my neighbours was passing. He's a renowned p*sshead and lechy old fart but I just wasn't prepared for what he said to me today.



He basically had a conversation with my boobs - telling me that they were a lovely pair, that someone was looking after them well, that God gave women boobs for men to play with, he'd make sure I enjoyed him playing with mine, and that he had a p***k like a donkey and I'd enjoy 'it' with him.



I just said 'On that note I'm off'

Why is it that afterwards you always think of what you should have said, which was -



'As if I'd go anywhere near you you unshaven, toothless, small willyed, smelly old man!!!'



Bah!


I would of rammed his face in my boobs and held them there till he stopped breathing. Dirty Git!!

ThePheasant;620643 wrote: I would of rammed his face in my boobs and held them there till he stopped breathing. Dirty Git!!


oh so you're rewarding him for his bad behavior:wah:

WonderWendy3;620631 wrote: I'm the same way Immy....the older I get the more out-spoken I am though...and wish I could've been there to help you out, would've been nice for someone else to put him in his place since your business and his are next to each other...Would've been fun to put him in his place, sounds like he needs it.

Was wondering what you were doing over there Uncle!!:wah:


I have hole in BOTH pockets so I feel cocky with both hands

Just laugh and say,"You're hung like a donkey? Really? Well, honey. I'm hung like an elephant."

Wink and walk away.

;)

Uncle Fester;620648 wrote: I have hole in BOTH pockets so I feel cocky with both hands


Guess no one ever called you a pervert huh?? I surely wouldn't...:p :wah:

zinkyusa;620646 wrote: oh so you're rewarding him for his bad behavior:wah:


ooops - I forgot to mention that I would also be kneeing him in the groin every 10 seconds until he stopped breathing

It's nice to know my friends are outraged for me:-4



I tell you what though I shall never let him say anything at all smutty to me ever again without telling him what I think of him. I'm still cross with myself for letting him get away with it today!!!

To keep peace - either keep walking or

In your dreams dude - and laugh

Sometimes men try that shock approach - nothing shocks me anymore

so I usually give the shock approach right back, and I usually laugh at them.

Patsy

I would've said, "Oh no honey. You got it all wrong. Your last woman didn't say you were hung like a donkey. She said you should be hung you jackass!"

Peg;620945 wrote: I would've said, "Oh no honey. You got it all wrong. Your last woman didn't say you were hung like a donkey. She said you should be hung you jackass!"




:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl



thank you Peg - you've made my day!!!

Pinky;624431 wrote: Tell him to bog off before you give him a job as a John Waybe Bobbit impersonator.:sneaky:




:eek:

Pinky;624431 wrote: Tell him to bog off before you give him a job as a John Waybe Bobbit impersonator.:sneaky:


:yh_clap :yh_clap We need to make Immy a t-shirt that says that...she can wear it under another button down shirt...when the perv comes near her, he will read it since we'll stragically place it where he looks on her shirt....and therefore, she can cover it up afterwards, and she said NOTHING to him!!:D

LOVE IT!!