Pet's Diary
Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 8:10 am
Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary
>>>8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
>>>9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
>>>9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
>>>10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
>>>12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
>>>1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
>>>3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
>>>5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
>>>7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
>>>8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
>>>11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>>>Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh
meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of
dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their
hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary
confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must
learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I
must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe. For now........
>>>8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
>>>9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
>>>9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
>>>10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
>>>12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
>>>1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
>>>3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
>>>5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
>>>7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
>>>8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
>>>11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>>>Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh
meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of
dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their
hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary
confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must
learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I
must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe. For now........
