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Hope no-one is offended...but I thought was funny.....



WOMAN'S PRAYER...

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash,

won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.



MAN'S PRAYER...

I pray for a deaf-mute

nymphomaniac with huge boobs

Who owns a liquor store and

a golf course. This

Doesn't rhyme and I don't

give a 'horsey'.

:wah: :wah: :wah: :-6

I am all for that

I think I'll take just this for a personal add or put on the dating website, and if anyone can answer an honest yes...he's my dream man!!



Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.

:wah:

Ole Blue

A young man from Georgia goes off to college, but half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Bozeman that will teach our dog Ole Blue how to talk!"

"That's amazing," his dad says. "How do I get Old Blue in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says. "I'll get him into the course." So, his father sends the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.

"So how's Ole Blue doing, son," his father asks.

"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!"

"Read!" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Old Blue in that program?"

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." The money promptly arrives.

Our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.

When he arrives home, his father is all excited.

"Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole Blue was in the living room kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives in town?"

The father exclaims, "I hope you SHOT that son of a bitch before he talks to your mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"...



Bob

fisher;614239 wrote: Ole Blue



A young man from Georgia goes off to college, but half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Bozeman that will teach our dog Ole Blue how to talk!"



"That's amazing," his dad says. "How do I get Old Blue in that program?"



"Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says. "I'll get him into the course." So, his father sends the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.



"So how's Ole Blue doing, son," his father asks.



"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!"



"Read!" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Old Blue in that program?"



"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." The money promptly arrives.



Our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.



When he arrives home, his father is all excited.



"Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"



"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole Blue was in the living room kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives in town?"



The father exclaims, "I hope you SHOT that son of a bitch before he talks to your mother!"



"I sure did, Dad!"



"That's my boy!"...





Bob




:wah: :wah: too funny

:wah: Great jokes!!